ilovehazel
156567
2987
78
Jul 5, 2022 3:22 AM
ilovehazel
156567
2987
78
Causeitsmadeofmeat
#8 makes me moderate my drinking
WonderfunkJones
#21 or you could do Fuck the World? Those Feels When? When Flamingos Teach?
FrogDeKermit
https://i.imgur.com/X4uGjtp.null
BigBuckeyeZ
#1
LaughingInTheFaceOfDanger
#12 *Methanie
Iloveblackcats217
And empire: 800 588 2300
nojustsayitdont
#1 My wife is more than happy to let me handle the kitchen situation.
metroid2
#2 many of the jalapeno poppers I have tried weren't all that spicy to me
DontDoWhatDonaldDontDoes
#7
CptJohnYossarian
#1 I feel this in my soul.
sfcorax
#11 I was taught in primary school, and I shit you not, that Mars gravity was stronger than Earth.
UserNamesArentEasy
#4 988 is now the suicide prevention hotline.
GrimNyrah
#1 it is romantic if he stays in a corner peeling and chopping veggies, and grating the cheese for me. Then we good.
Ink41d0
#5 Honestly, in situations like these i don't know why people feel embaressed being compared to kids; the runner-ups are clearly prodigies.
GrammarAndPunctuationNazi
#1 exactly! I hate having people around when I'm cooking. I need my space to prep, cook, clean and scrub.
GravyEducation
If you're willing to give it a shot I can do all the prep and we can do two stations. Wanna play Overcooked 2 with me and drink after?
yaddiex3
588-2300 Empiiiirrreeee
Mossiestsloth
#3 wake up at 11:30 feelin like a bag of shit.
MyharothS
Walking out into traffic hoping I get hit..
RetrogradeLlama
It was iffy there for a while in the middle, but you pulled it out with the last one. Have an upvote.
vegivamp
Yeah. I mean, apparently Jetson pregnancies take six weeks...
r4nt
#7
BluesRockCosmonaut
Came here looking for this
CptJohnYossarian
#9 Frank Zappuss.
Strangedays2024
#1 really depends on how well you can work with your partner, the type of cooking, and how big of a kitchen you have. Bakings popular1/2
Strangedays2024
How else would you get a bun in the oven.../s2/2
GravyEducation
It's all a dance. The dance may be 90% WHERE DID YOU PUT THE FUCKIN ONIONS CHRISTINE but it is still a sensual dance
NaughtButOne
#11 Doesn't exactly fit the brief, but: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_common_misconceptions
NotLuckyDucky
Thank you for the link! It’s nice to have some misconceptions corrected! I hope you have a great day!
EdoubleLIOdoubleT
Jetson was probably conceived on valentines day '22.. and ffs it's "sweety"
SirDistic
6 month pregnancy?
EdoubleLIOdoubleT
Shit.. idk wtf I was thinking.. for one I counted wrong.. secondly I only went to 7.. my dog is under the weather, guess I'm distracted
SirDistic
It happens. It's closer to Dec 2021 conception. I hope the puppy is ok. Get well soon pooch.
EdoubleLIOdoubleT
Thank you very much.. he's an extremely large part of who I am.. some days he's the only thing that keeps me going
SirDistic
I feel that in a way that only people like us would understand.
Piizzle
Wait is #15 from the future?
urukhello
Had the same question
Gaelwyn
It’s from the past if he’s going to be born in August this year. He would’ve been conceived in November/December 2021.
sunnytater1
Ah, look at you, working that reading comprehension muscle while we all can't read good
thelonepig
CONCEIVED, not born. Took me a second to sort that out lol
JacktheKind
thank you... /face-palm/ for self
SirDistic
Took me a solid minute or so to understand. 9 months from August of this year. So December 2021
CakeTerror10
Aug birthday here. I'm betting I was a Thanksgiving party surprise. Dad was stuffin the turkey *wink wink* *nudge nudge*
drosophilamelanogaster
Aren't you lucky he didn't just baste the turkey.
CakeTerror10
So very lucky!! The eighties were weird time tho. I'm pretty sure that wasn't invented until the 90's.
AnythingMuchShorter
#11 here's one, I was taught that the supreme court was impartial and nonpartisan, and that our government has checks and balances.
InfinityAero
I am going to go out on a limb and assume you were educated in the South lol.
Yinyang107
Could we at least have some posts that aren't immediately made into reminders about how fucked the world is?
putcleverusernamehere
Ya. I remember that too
AnythingMuchShorter
I was also taught, for some reason, America chooses it's presidents by having the people vote.
CC2332
afnoot42
And you believed it?
LuciusNeedful
B99Reactions
Is that really an outdated fact?
putcleverusernamehere
Seriously?
BearRaid
No, because it was never a fact to begin with. It’s a myth.
hetnkik999
#15 Friendly reminder that everyone on The Jetsons lives in houses raised to the sky because the Earth below is too polluted to inhabit.
mithiwithi
I'm kinda fond of the idea that the Jetsons and the Flintstones are contemporaneous.
agermanguy
Why does it say this weekend?
ebonybutterfree
It was probably created late last year.
chrisjohnson76
Old tweet. Born this August means conceived late last year.
TemplarHawk
its a tweet from the future
isetprettygirlsonfire
#4 and Jenny's number: 867 5309
keyblader1985
I also know AWOOOOOO 56709
Bulmero8
Thats a phone number for a doctors office here in Dublin
ICheckUsernameAndSuch
Used to have a local 444-4444 that ran commercials with the jingle "Four four four, forty-four, forty-four. Just dial 4 until your finger ½
ICheckUsernameAndSuch
Gets tired." Drove me absolutely fuckin nuts. Why not "dial 4 until your finger gets sore?" It's right there. What a goddamn waste. 2/2
bolobass
LdaQuirm
And 0118 999 881 999 119 7253
cactusjuiceitsthequenchiest
dEzero
800-588-2300 Empire!
peeeopeepeee
773 202 BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP Luna!
24xk9sc85x350
TODAY
ErniesWidow
Wilson Pickett's girl: 634-5789
keillrandor
That's his Love Exchange: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XY-t_lJ6GHE
ErniesWidow
Imjustheretodrinkandcomment
877-CASH NOW
imyellinkimberr
Hawaii “TheCab” 808-422-2222…in the form of three old dudes in drag singing a jingle
jethroismaxbaer5772
1-800-ABCDEFG, get Hooked on Phonics now!
OuchYoureonmyhair
Hughes and Coleman injury lawyers. 800 800 4600
tuckerx78
877 393, FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. EEEIGHT!
CakeShapedPie
Dial 2-7-3 7-3 7-3 Pizza 73, the pizzas on
MoThErFuCkInGmIrAcIeS
Car crash lawyers "219-222-2222" nice little jiggle.
Phobos790
Thank fuck, I have a structured settlement and I need cash now!
MyboyTank
1800CALLATT
CrapOnASpatula
1-877-KARS-4-KIDS
MusicPieDancer
?1-800-267-2001 Alaaarm fooooorce?
FrankensteinsMonstersSweatyBallBag
281-330-8004
TheBlueMuppet
Im in the 281, but i dont know that one. Lawyer?
justicetigerfan76
They forgot Stacy s moms number who is Jessie s girl. 867-5309 (area code unknown by all)
CrispyNougat
411
LevelSixLotus
They've helped thousands, they'll help you too
stonetemplefox05
IT'S MY MONEY AND I WANT IT NOW!
FactWino
800-988-2300 Empire Carpet
dudeloveall
1 877 Kars 4 Kids
JacquesKass
I hear the 3 notes leading into that jingle and fully panic because I can't change the radio station fast enough.
Syrpynt
Empireeee *TODAY*
LaszloCravensworth
....today
Iaimtomisbehave
#13 Caesar told the pirates he was going to crucify them later, they thought that was funny. Turns out it wasn't.
Sklitovic
975.000 euros with today prices
TinyLiehon
The ransom was paid with state money. Once freed he defeated them and kept all the cash he knew they had. Oldest insurance scam in the book.
GuacamoleMoleMolester
TheYoungerChrisEvans
Once they understood what he meant, they were quite cross, actually.
Bombe
Classic Caesar.
lotsoftinyblueletters
Well that's just their cross to bear.
Vyrro
...still pretty funny
BreakablePotato
"We should hang out sometime."
Zoroasterisk
It was. Not for the pirates though
SirDistic
I mean in fairness it was funny at the time.
keillrandor
I guess you had to be there...
korndogg83
God:
ninjaguineapig
I like to think Caesar got a good laugh out of it
dmc623
Doismellbacon
Seize-her? I hardly know her! I'll see myself out
Eiladar
I mean, just because it was true doesn't make it not funny.
Causeitsmadeofmeat
They thought they were safe, because the inlet they used as base was impossible to find. Caesar just counted inlets, and sent his forces
ewwcovid
What’s inlet
[deleted]
[deleted]
ewwcovid
afnoot42
A bay or cave or some shit
RealityInflicted
Basically a nautical incel.
glitchead
Its the plastic tip of a shoelace.
iDrinkDrano
It's the bit where the water narrows and you go in
Causeitsmadeofmeat
a cove or small bay
amoeba15
Not much, what's inlet with you?
StaciesDad
There's definitely a heavy stench of updog in this conversation.
Zoroasterisk
Go away please, Colin Robinson
SalmonTheWise
ewwcovid
wideeight
I used to like him and he really was a brilliant actor, too bad he is also a giant piece of shit.