peastream
200433
4314
147
49 to go.
A most viral notification? I'm in a state of surprise! Send brain teasers. and b00bs since I'm all out of dollar bills.
Apr 5, 2018 12:15 PM
peastream
200433
4314
147
49 to go.
A most viral notification? I'm in a state of surprise! Send brain teasers. and b00bs since I'm all out of dollar bills.
Ibreakiemytoie
Weird names for strippers, but ok.
Mcmonkeybug
When you get to ambiguity look me up
Kilsim1v
5? Those are rookie numbers. You gotta pump those numbers up
jenaleelee
“You know you’ve reached adulthood when you go to a strip Club and only see the sadness in the girls eyes”
bringbakfirefly
I've been to two strip clubs. Overrated.
KeatonJazz
Time for a new hobby. Walk in nature more.
besttom
Lonliness
frogglogger
Are those stripper names? ..... “Hi I’m regret - fancy a dance?”
Phischstaebchen
I've never been in one.... mostly because I'm too shy, but also this is like "watch, don't touch". :P
Beshuu
I've never been to a strip club.
FloridaLawyer
Papo709624
thatoneopthatdidthething
Come to ohio
SirDistic
Yes the bastion of beautiful stripper. Ohio. lol
SarcasticComment
Musicians seem to disproportionally fuck up relationships with strippers from Ohio.
Mansooratyale
44 yo, married w two kids, haven't been in a strip club yet
fudgycurmudgeon
“Yet”
Mansooratyale
Not planning to go any time soon
UnhelpfulAnswers
Those stripper names are getting creative
rudejohn
Are you in the state of regret over creating a meme and not being able to spell loneliness?
Randomice
Next: intoxication.
peastream
Thats usually when i leave
Randomice
Inebriation?
pocketpython
You were feeling Florida? Are you ok now? Don’t be afraid to seek help, no one should have to feel that way.
tornik
unclestankstank
Go to BT's in Miami. Tell them Uncle Stank Stank sent you.
itsjulionotjose
Depression, regret, apathy, and loneliness is a not a good name for a strip club though.
Kresstro
only regret should be is you’ve not been to all 50. You support local economies and single moms. Don’t be so negative.
audiomancer
You said depresison twice
misho
The first four states are a common consequence of never having been outside Florida.
TheShogunMustGoOn
MillerLitesaber
Too many notes
Jlee173
Upvotes for amadeus
HaikuCarChase
When did Abed become white??
squelcheswetly
Huh! That’s funny! I never considered that Jeffrey Jones looked like Danny.
IUpvoteScience
TheShogunMustGoOn
pwsabre
Such a good movie
RedPandaFanAccount
Strip clubs... like going to a buffet, paying to smell all the food, then going home again.
unclestankstank
speak for yourself ;)
ThisNameDoesntMatter
I don't think you're very good at buffets
ToastDNA
One near me has a 5 dollar lunch buffet.
typowned
Smells like desperation and chlamydia.
GeneralBullshit
Chlamydia in the air... What a wonderfull smell
typowned
Watch out, it's contagious.
TurnDown4Brunch
I got a bj for 50 bucks on my 18th birthday in a strip club
RedPandaFanAccount
...Which means she's given plenty of $50 bjs in the past. And I dunno about you, but I'm not big into prostitutes :-/
Ronmfer
And do you think that every girl or guy that has touched you penis or vagina has never touched one before?
RedPandaFanAccount
In exchange for money? Not even one of them.
Stillirrelevant
Bet
twostepsfromlost
"I went to a religious private school, I l dont need to pay more money to have girls tease me." - me, anytime stripclubs are brought up.
Ratfish
*seafood buffet
baconandplagues
I've never been to a strip club in my life... Never really saw a point to them.
JonRichardsonsDustMop
It's just fun as long as you don't make it weird. I've still got the number of a dancer who my SO and I made friends with. Cool ppl.
baconandplagues
Honestly. I'd know to many, and it would make me feel old.
SpaceManStarHat
I envy you
baconandplagues
I've slept with a couple strippers. Trust me it's nothing to envy. They're typically bat shit crazy
SpaceManStarHat
I've been taken to strip clubs by stripper ex girlfriends and I always found them to be smiling on the outside but miserable on the inside
eetsumkaus
the ones in the States I went to were boring. Then I went to ones in Tijuana and...those were hilarious pits of debauchery
baconandplagues
I don't honestly believe I want to know what goes down in Tijauna
eetsumkaus
I'd say 50% of my enjoyment came from just watching what other patrons were up to. Don't think I'll ever expect any less from a strip club
breakin247365
Please go on...what were the other patrons doing?
eetsumkaus
Awkward Asian guy grabs the lube of two girls dildo fucking each other on stage, then they pull him on stage to spank him with his own belt
rollercostarican
it can be entertaining if its last call at the bar and the strip club is still open. Also, at many you can do more than just look from afar
baconandplagues
I've slept with too many girls that worked at them to be interested in paying to see an strip.
Magicflutefreddie
I see that you have some high standards.
baconandplagues
Eh we've all fucked a couple we're not proud of.
rollercostarican
Welp, Not everyone has. I've actually uses to go with my ex and had a great time with couples lap dance. Not everybody has gonna like
rollercostarican
Everything equally. But they stay in business somehow.
QuiteADapperAsshole
Saying both regret and Florida seems redundant.
mkyner
and superfluous.
vampirehedgehog
And unnecessary.
Schadenfreuda
Paranoidq
Depends on the order. It seems he felt regret and THEN went to Florida, which just seems really unfortunate.
forte10
And when he got there, depression was already there waiting. Full circle.
sloppyjoeska
Saying depression, regret, apathy, loneliness and Florida seems redundant*
ladyjayinator
Amen to that.
ilovefluids
OP's weather forecast: rain
PhysicsFighter
I wish I could favorite comments
Gemall
What is wrong with Florida and why do people make fun of it? -non-american
deathventure
Minus the beach and couple months of nice, not death dealing weather, it is highly over rated.
GolFoehammer
Oh, and Florida Man
GolFoehammer
it's shaped like a flaccid penis and it's full of old people...
QuiteADapperAsshole
There's a lot of small reasons that come together that it's one of the states we just make fun of for being full of crazy people.
Roehcai
A lot of people there are willingly ignorant, the exact opposite of classy or pleasant, and have a kind of rotten-soul meanness to them.
justafloridaman
Its a joke. Florida is very open with its records and are one of the most populated states so a lot of "interesting" things happen.
justafloridaman
Plus we get terrori... I mean, tourists from every part of the globe that all bring their unique brand of asshattery here.
NotACanadian
Florida is the drip collector for all of America's nasty stank and it shows.
STGxDante
Born & raised. It's trashy as shit, ppl are ignorant as shit, and we get paid shit.
sloppyjoeska
https://i2.wp.com/gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Dwight-Schrute-Thats-Very-True.gif?ssl=1
iamjman
I'm from miami. Where do I begin?
RXJ235231
People glorify South Beach and I have no idea as to why (other than movies). That place has very few good areas and a lot of bad ones.
RXJ235231
Most of Miami isn't that great and it gets worse the further south you go until you leave the Miami area.
iamjman
You have to go further north off the Eastern coastline to enjoy the beaches. South beach is over rated.
wildmansam
Florida has some of the best weather, beaches, wealth, music festivals and so much other positives-- but also...
wildmansam
.. a huge population of poorly educated, low-income residents and homeless who make the national news rather frequently.
sloppyjoeska
wherein this is true, the reason "Florida Man" exists is because our arrest records are public :/
StarkTangent
It should be noted, the headlines are often absurd and hilarious
TheRockDude
Oh, Florida Man...when he isn't masturbating while fighting off cops, he's calling cops to complain about restaurant food
TheLordOfGiraffes
Hey! We probably have better educated students than a lot of states. The reason we make the news is because all police records are public1/2
TheLordOfGiraffes
It’s really an unfair judgment. I’ve been to most states and I never really notice any real improvements. That said we’ve got a lot of crazy
ljkhiuh
Thank you, as a Floridian, we don't have much to offer, but beyond the shit on the headlines we're mostly tolerable. Only downside is 1/
ljkhiuh
our lack of investment in students. We have like 8* standardized tests a year to keep gauging our kids, but not teaching them.
uamaukeeaokaainaikapono
Wise words from a strip club wall:
TooStronkkk
+1
WeAreJustDustInTheWind
Where I agree but she is a adult as well
jrfloatz
Got slapped by my ex gf at a strip club Thought I told the 60 yo cocktail waitress I luv you but I actually said yeah I'll have another beer
wtforero
I’ve never had that problem, my wife knows I’m an ass man and points out butts I might have missed while out in public.
wtforero
She knows what bed I’m sleeping in, and she knows that she has my heart, and my dick????
GodDamnedImmigrant
Someone tried to burn it.
MarshmalineTheCampfireQueen
I'm lucky in this sense. We're both straight and check out anyone with each other. If I see a nice ass Imma tell him and he does the same
besttom
Am I the only one who felt like this was a vision test while reading it?
nowmakelikeatreeandgetouttahere
my eyes kept telling me the note was blowing gently in a breeze. then i realized it wasn't a gif and now I think I may have had a stroke
imreallyjusthereforthecats
Sheprador
How about she’s an adult and she’s responsible for herself? Fuck this kind of backwards thinking.
JonRichardsonsDustMop
So, my SO and I have visited multiple clubs together. One was suberb, and the rest ignore us. We go bc we want to waste money on booty
JonRichardsonsDustMop
glitter. We BOTH want to get the experience. I enjoy watching him. It's a huge turn on. We don't go anymore bc the dancers won't give us
JonRichardsonsDustMop
attention, and it kills the fun.
DARfuckinROCKS
You need to tip better. I've never been with my Bf but I've been alot with my guy friends. I usually get way more attention than I care for.
JonRichardsonsDustMop
Lol, last time we went we didn't have to spend anything. This old dude gave my SO $100 in ones for me to give to the dancers as desired. He
keitak89855
Then you need to tip less :p
Aejiss
Are you bi?
SalisburyShuffle
I'd love to know what incident made it necessary to put this up
Bot17629A98001
Plural
cancerriddenlung
Incidents
fluhatinrapper
Separate incidences?
cancerriddenlung
Yes. Http://i.imgur.com/YguSxNG.gif
fluhatinrapper
wtf
nicolaisheen
They saw the show when my wife met my girlfriend dancing.
GreaterDog
I had a similar train of thought at my daughter's birthday party: https://imgur.com/OferL3M Thanks Stan, you ruined it for the rest of us
SlutAtNight
I bet he wore his heels
Paninisareallevil
Well that's no party I want to go to then! Kids get to have all the fun
Polecat777
As a former stripper, probably several. I've literally had female customers throw things at me on stage and threaten me with violence.
Polecat777
Not to mention the two times they intentionally putting gum in my hair.
aptatlas
Pff remember that time you accidentally checked out a girl’s ass in public and she caught you? Now imagine that x 100 with nudity.
SexualConsent
"Accidentally"
z3lfmoord
“Accidentally”
PrestonGarvey
Except I’m not with my girl at an ass staring convention
HormonalWoman
I don't get this, I am Bi so we both check out women. He can look all he wants, he we talk about dirty scenarios. I am secure that he wants
dirrrtypiratehookerrr
I'm not bi n I love checking out other women. I liked feeling the sexual energy in the room. Also felt better about my own body even more
HormonalWoman
Dunno who the fuck downvoted you lol. Nah that is good to feel that about yourself. I am fat and hate my body so if I am in a sensitive
HormonalWoman
hormonal mood. I may get a lil touchy about him commenting on women but that lasts a day. He knows to stay quiet on it just for then is all.
dirrrtypiratehookerrr
I've been to all kinds of strip clubs. The rough ones showed me that all bodies are loved by men if u keep them moving! No worries!!
RalphsLauren
I’m straight and love it too. The sex afterwards tends to be next level because we’re both so turned on.
HormonalWoman
me, even though he could get a far better looking woman. I know he comes home to me. Trying to stop him looking is not gonna keep him with
HormonalWoman
you and if you think he is that much of a flight risk, you should be with someone else.
SchlongReviewer
Holy shit are you me?
HormonalWoman
lol good to know there are more people who think this way. Too many women fall into the "omg if he sees a hot woman he will leave me!" that
TehGuard
You sound like a keeper
HormonalWoman
Why thank you, lol love to know who's got all pissy and downvoted everyone. I used to think if a man even masturbated to porn it mean he was
itsreallyhardtofindausernamethatisnttaken
Yes men, it’s your responsibility to keep your women in line...
jcsuperecosystemstar
Hahahaha
Kavrae
This sounds more like a preventative measure rather than "keeping them in line".
DeleteriousDuck
I always keep my bitches inline
Bassaker
*feminist screeching
HillaryClintonsEyes
Fr I hate that kind of thinking. Like your women is responsible for her own actions just like everybody else.
BanjoBeard
Tell that to drunk women.
tangybreath
Ok, I will
tzahtman
People out together should watch out for and be responsible for each other. Shouldn't matter the sex make up of the group.
Monkeytron
HillaryClintonsEyes
Of course. But I just hate how some people think that women need a man to be responsible for them as if they are children. /2
HillaryClintonsEyes
That's the vibe I got from that sign.
ShutUpBilly
If you're in a relationship, you're responsible for each other.
tangybreath
No. You're responsible for yourself.
olegh
No. You have responsibilities to your partner. Way different. If your partner is making a fool of themselves you should help.
olegh
Their actions are still theirs and your are yours. Ez pz.