Nov 30, 2020 11:34 AM
Ceroeurista
107326
2319
39
becameanyoneiwant
Very odd, I always do it by the tree lifting my right leg
TheBlueMuppet
Penis. Now with DualStream(TM) Technology
MrBurgerPants
Oh yes; The fabled laminar flow of a penis.
Thisisnotreallymyname
I guess, but this is why the male anatomy includes muscles that control the flow?
eastend666
"We all had a first time with a penis."
SaraFourImgur
Pro tip: Sit down
raytracer2d
What a missed chance to open the stream at full power. Disappointed.
MathewCorbett
My position purely depends on wheather or not i want alone time or im doing something indont want to take much time away from it lol
2old4
This is exactly what it looks like in the men's room in the bars when the band takes a break. Just not girls. Normally.
TheMajinVegeta
Typhon2727
What about going with morning wood and you have to stand 5 feet away then lunge forward as you start to run out?
purdhapley
Now put something in the hose to recreate peeing after sex. See how well she handles two or more streams.
ruferto
pro-tip - quick wipe with a wet hand or cloth helps w/ that
readyplayer0ne
He sounds like a real Colin Robinson.
BeerBatteredandBold
Is that who it is? I couldn't put my finger on it.
ManOfKent1967
The comparison isn't right. Someone else is controlling the stream with no way of knowing when it is coming, you don't get that "feeling".
DrArsMoriendi
We all had a first time with a penis
CouldYouPleaseRatherNot
I can't remember mine but I know my potty was blue.
valekseye
Proof is in the pudding. I do understand that most guys are assholes and don’t clean up the mess they make. Mess happens, but don’t leave...
...it for the girls who have to sit so THEY have to clean it to do their business.
Guy speaking.
MonteCristo1985
I know this is supposed to be funny but nobody cares about missing they care about not cleaning up after.
therealbessica
I literally went after my husband early in the morning, I turn on the light to a lovely puddle in front of the toilet
FemaleINTJ
I've had to change my socks way to many times...
I tried to tell him he's got to clean the bathroom, but it just gets gross so I'm at a loss of where to go short of covering it in plastic
thornlord
She may want to get her prostate checked with a weird stream like that...
dylandHero
I need to show this to my wife
MuaddibISR
You have a death wish?
PrincessPuffyPants
This is why you dudes should be the ones to clean the bathroom, I understand but it's still nasty.
Divinyll
Women are far more disgusting than men. I clean bathrooms for a living and it's always the case...how do you miss sitting down?
Catsbycat
Half of the women don't sit. They hover over the seats to avoid touching it.
nonameidea2
In public bathrooms many do not sit down. I always take cleaning stuff with me to clean before i can sit down there..
Most disgusting are public free highway bathrooms
This just reinforces my opinion that everyone should sit down to pee.
SonvaCumberbatch
The unfairness comes in having no feel or knowledge of when the water is beginning or ending.
AngryHobo69
Also a smaller toilet about a foot lower than where it should be.
LadyLucky26
How often do we have toilets that are that low?
Sircowdog1
Sorta depends on how tall you are. ;D
sparkletempt
Why not just sit though?
NotWelcomehere
Sitting is hard and requires my knees to bend lol nah but for real my knees hurt!
ArgonSpark
Because it's not an issue for the vast majority of men.
LetAllYourAngerOutOnMeIDontBite
because my piss is like a straight arrow so i can stand without making a mess
How do you handle the scattering through the height and the attributes of the toilet. You must be quite small to not make a mess...
sylkysmooth
Because most men are idiots and feel like it's a personal challenge they have to overcome to do everything the slightly more difficult way.
aplethoraofnaps
Git gud.
creepwood
because it fucking sucks when it touches the inside of the bowl.
alecdshope
Two words: morning wood.
that's a lot of extra work when you can stand far easier. esp in a public restroom
What about urinals
then you're standing... which is easier
LavenderRainn
She doesn't have the ability to feel the stream. Also, my bf sits down to pee. It's European culture that stuck with him called politeness.
GettingPaidToPoop
You have a girlfriend. Also, if your dad doesn't have a beard, you've got two mums.
BloodofHeroes
She has the hose run directly through her legs... I have had a hose in my hand, you feel water coming through it as easy if not easier.
Fargus57
If he can't drink a 6-pack then write his name in the snow (script), he's not worth dating.
You only start feeling the stream after the initial aim has proven successful or off the mark. And then you correct the trajectory.
intolerabletolerance
Is this a thing??? I guess I would never have a way of knowing..
vowofsilence
European culture for men to sit and pee?
Atleast in Germany.
Never knew that! Interesting
only90skidswillgetthis
So you're saying a) european men sit down to pee b) in order to be polite. You're either making things up or an absolute fool
So basically, when you go over to a guests house you sit sp they don't have to clean up after you. They also have a toilet in their kinder 1
Rooms in the middle and they basically just sit down and go.
Found the guy who gets pee everywhere but doesn't notice.
The polite thing to do is lift the seat. We aren't standing up to be assholes
However, pee still sprays outside the stream and the toilet. I don't care about where the seat is as long as your pee is only in the toilet
CT1space3DX
She intuitively did everything a drunk guy does. Overshoot, undershoot, drip, laugh your ass off and give a f**k. First time with penis !!
dumbinsults
... and drop it on the ground.
Emulen
She didn't compliment the dude next to her at the urinals though
ThickTomato
Sup
PrisonDonkey
Only thing missing was the foghorn ass blast
28dayslaterwasawarning
What about when the dude in the cubicle next to you tries not to laugh and fails?
Iamnotacreativeman
That's our signature move!
Briqs
Every. Single. Time
And leaning forward on the arm for support
You're so right. I forgot that.
PimpinKen
Weird, ive never done that
You've never been good and content drunk and gone to piss and you 9ut your arm out to the wall, close your eyes and just lean into jt?
I've been good and content drunk, but never closed my eyes and leaned into a pee
I've never felt the need to put my hand on a pissy pub wall when drunk. Just sway a bit.
Didn't say we're at a pissy pu. And you don't put your open hand on the wall, closed fist always
ryukdeathgod929000
Yea but after doing it for so long you learn the motion and dont forget to shake
Dragon10449
Shake it once thats fine....
ComcastLover
Shake really hard for a refreshing misting of nice cool pee on your face
JayEnfield
Frodomann1
"Shake it once, that's fine. Shake it twice, that's ok. Shake three times, you're playing with yourseeeelffff aaaggggaiiinnnn"
Broonstar
also feel the pressure drop when you're nearly finished.
Wikipedo
I also put mine down on the floor when I've finished
Hellfirefighter
My urinary system apparently has a random number generator and the stream isn't always predictable. Siting for it is only an option at home.
GodzillaBoomingMarketOfDiabetes
And then slightly masterbate
sesamesnapsinhalf
I shake it off, I shake it off
DIINKELBERG
Yeah... but sometimes there comes the infamous double stream
RagefaceRS
Ah the double stream. When an ordinary piss immediately becomes a calamity to try and stop spraying piss allover the place.
shitheadtookmyname
Don't shake. Milk a couple strokes. That's the way to not put a drop in the undies
somethingawesomeandgreat
Girldavina
Don’t fucking shake! That’s how the piss goes on the floor!
PirateofthePancreas
No matter how much you shake and dance the last 2 drops go in your pants
Thank you for your honesty!
Tortfeas0r
No matter how much you shake and dance, the last drop always falls in your pants
TheInfio
Apply slight pressure just below the sac
MissPeabody
In your pants? Guys don't dab the tip with TP?
AlterSack
But not too much. More than three times shaking is wanking! Or do, I'm not judging.
iamlegendinjapan
This is the anthem
Thanks Tinkle Fairy!
BlackAssMamaWhiteAssDaddy
Unless you’re at the urinal next to me, in which case I’m going to judge very violently
JediMan
In which case, I will stare into your eyes as I shake 5 times
suurmestari
I personally finish every time with a well executed helicopter.
kmikl
You know what, just for that I'd shake it like a polaroid picture while maintaining eye contact. It'll be
james20192
So, you are gonna score them or something? What's your scoring methodology? Bonus points for no spray I'm guessing?
Kottok
If you have this much trouble, perhaps you should just sit.
BrownAppShaper
dON't tELl Me WHaT tO Do WITh mY BoDy
OpinionsAreLikeAssholes
Rodrodington1
German?
It is simple: if a urinal is installed, I use it. If not, then I sit the hell down, otherwise I could just piss in the corner.
I say this, as a penis owner myself.
IAmLobstronomous
Or maybe everyone should just sit because then you don't have to worry about anything. (Except maybe boners)
wnxkrayzie
I started sitting to pee because i clean the bathroom and it splashes everywhere when i stand.
Thornaxe
Truth. Stand up peeing is done by men who don’t clean bathrooms.
SilverHornet
Or piss in the sink, depending on your state of degeneration.
printerinkistoomuch
I started sitting after I had back problems. I'm never going back
Same after an accident. I think, or was it before. I am just lazy as hell and its not a problem if I sits.
petrolhead1987
Have you ever sat on a urinal?
Most German men sit, I'm not kidding. There was some movement to get them to sit decades ago
Yes. Because the chance of pissing next to it or at least have some splashing around it is high and for others using the same bathroom it is
Disgusting. If you have a urinal it is a different story but the height distance to a normal toilet is too big
What I get from this is that they have tiny dicks they can't aim
thatsbadmmkay
She likely does
Kassimila
Assuming you're female. Answer honestly, when was the last time you executed 'the hover'.
You have assumed incorrectly.
AccidentalPhallacy
If you sit to pee all the time you get more imgur browsing in.
Zilc
Plus it's better for your prostate.
KillingTlme
10 minute pee
IFavouriteEveryPostISee
10 minutes? That's short. 1 hour at least is my average!
v
Pinyateh
A lot of men need to see this. Just because you can stand.. doesn’t mean you should....
i never sit to pee unless i'm pooping. and even then, if its a short-seat toilet, easier to just stand and piss first.
tasteslikechaos
As a man I can proudly state i always sit to pee. Its comfortable, I can meme browse and its way more sanitary.
Even if you have 100% accuracy that shit still splashes and sprays.
:D if you havent mastered how to pee w/o splashing and spraying by now (its 100% easy)... yea, you should be sitting.
BatmansUnderPantsAreSoSoft
This is a guy who has clearly never cleaned his own bathroom before.
Go to 1:00 https://youtu.be/ejl7vrDUIcs. You THINK you aren't splashing...sure, but you are no matter what you do.
JaromirAzarov
To be fair, it's certainly harder to aim if you don't have the "flow control" and "flow control feedback"...
StarkRG
The feedback isn't always all that great. Sometimes there's an unexpected flow fluctuation.
Dunno, I only experience the occasional "unexpected flow distribution"...
Sure, now, but when you were first learning? Or when you're drunk?
How would I remember when I was learning it first? I hardly remember anything from when I was 3 years old or younger...
jupitermonkey
skymall presents the male penis, now with flow control and improved flow control feedback™, order yours today and you get 2 for $2.99
Gayforbae
Ill take two penises please!
Hungrypiemonger
sounds like a cyber monday deal
Stabmatic
Take the damn upvote XD +1
BishlamekGurpgork
The question is, Trebeck, do they work? If they work, I'll buy a dozen!
bobbo007
I don't really think this is fair but, it says nothing about if you split stream. Yes, some guys have to sit down to be.
ImplodingPumpkin
But if I sit down my penis touches the bowl.
ketro2099
split? personal best was 3 different directions, 2am no contacts
DontNeedAWeatherManToKnowWhichWayTheWindBlows
"I pee, therefore I am," Rene Descartes, after one too many beers.
Usiris23
To be what?
sanaujiram
To be peeing
Shelest
Every time I did shrooms at some point I had to sit down to be.
You have a prince albert too?
Noctourn
It's also a good excuse to sit and browse Imgur
imgurschmimgur
I sit down just for a wee seat sometimes.
PremiumCola
Once i got a triple split stream. I was so angry like wtf
BigBadBillyBoy
Clean your fucking dicks, boys.
ILikeToCallItLostWages
Sitting to pee is way way better for the prostate. That's why I switched over permanently unless in public and there are flushless urinals
weerdo
Try peeing with a boner in the morning..
FiveShiftOne
Man I do it at work because when it's this cold and I'm in overalls, the last thing I wanna do is have it fork and get on the inside of my >
many layers of clothes bunched around my feet.
redmangc
Stop jacking off so much then, yes that can cause splitting
LrrrRulerofThePlanetOmicronPerseiVIII
https://www.google.com/amp/s/health.clevelandclinic.org/what-does-a-split-urine-stream-mean/amp/ Its the easiest thing to test without Dr
It’s interesting that leftover semen is the most common reason for blockage! That doesn’t mean masturbation = split stream though. If any->
>thing I think more frequent masturbation would help clean out blockages. Plus, it’s good for the prostate, reducing that possible cause
CouldCareLessButDoesnt
Dozens of us
littlebear64
A dozen and 1.
Inarticulated
So.. a baker's dozen?
YES!
Behleren
came here to post this, you magnificent bastard!
TheHappyMadman
Have a coworler that got his penis piercied(prince albert) then it got ripped out tore his penis head in half , and later on got stuck 1/
/1 together with another piercing. He has to sit down or the toilet will have a golden shower ?
Why would you do this
trowelwielder
Reverse PA here. Can confirm it can be a mess to not sit.
Mileryen
I sit at home (less cleanup, clean environment, etc.) and stand otherwise. Never understood why you wouldn't sit to pee in your own house.
Simonboo
When we put lino down it confirmed how much pee had been going on the carpet. Eurgh!
You had... bathroom... carpet?
Hurro
Yup. I would prefer not to clean up anything and sitting is the simplest way to ensure that.
cropduster5000
I don’t like scrubbing piss off the walls and floor off my bathroom, which eventually build up regardless of your aim
MadeYouLookAgain
What? That's not really a thing is it? I've been a standup pisser since I could and have never had "wall piss buildup"
Maybe it’s just how sharp of a nose I have. Nothing visual, but there is a smell that builds up to my nose
Hmm? When I clean the bathroom I kinda just give the whole toilet and toilet area a once over with 409 probably every two or three weeks.
aguyinabox
Honestly? I never sit because when I do I always have to shit and I try not to shit cause my asshole bleeds
srirachamakeseverythingbetter
you wipe too hard. Also use wet wipes
SoapyWandKenobi
IOnlyFavouriteBunniesAndRats
Welve
Go to the doctor to confirm it’s just hemorrhoids if you haven’t.
It’s a tear from a turd when I was around 16
pajasa
becameanyoneiwant
Very odd, I always do it by the tree lifting my right leg
TheBlueMuppet
Penis. Now with DualStream(TM) Technology
MrBurgerPants
Oh yes; The fabled laminar flow of a penis.
Thisisnotreallymyname
I guess, but this is why the male anatomy includes muscles that control the flow?
eastend666
"We all had a first time with a penis."
SaraFourImgur
Pro tip: Sit down
raytracer2d
What a missed chance to open the stream at full power. Disappointed.
MathewCorbett
My position purely depends on wheather or not i want alone time or im doing something indont want to take much time away from it lol
2old4
This is exactly what it looks like in the men's room in the bars when the band takes a break. Just not girls. Normally.
TheMajinVegeta
Typhon2727
What about going with morning wood and you have to stand 5 feet away then lunge forward as you start to run out?
purdhapley
Now put something in the hose to recreate peeing after sex. See how well she handles two or more streams.
ruferto
pro-tip - quick wipe with a wet hand or cloth helps w/ that
readyplayer0ne
He sounds like a real Colin Robinson.
BeerBatteredandBold
Is that who it is? I couldn't put my finger on it.
ManOfKent1967
The comparison isn't right. Someone else is controlling the stream with no way of knowing when it is coming, you don't get that "feeling".
DrArsMoriendi
We all had a first time with a penis
CouldYouPleaseRatherNot
I can't remember mine but I know my potty was blue.
valekseye
Proof is in the pudding. I do understand that most guys are assholes and don’t clean up the mess they make. Mess happens, but don’t leave...
valekseye
...it for the girls who have to sit so THEY have to clean it to do their business.
valekseye
Guy speaking.
MonteCristo1985
I know this is supposed to be funny but nobody cares about missing they care about not cleaning up after.
therealbessica
I literally went after my husband early in the morning, I turn on the light to a lovely puddle in front of the toilet
FemaleINTJ
I've had to change my socks way to many times...
therealbessica
I tried to tell him he's got to clean the bathroom, but it just gets gross so I'm at a loss of where to go short of covering it in plastic
thornlord
She may want to get her prostate checked with a weird stream like that...
dylandHero
I need to show this to my wife
MuaddibISR
You have a death wish?
PrincessPuffyPants
This is why you dudes should be the ones to clean the bathroom, I understand but it's still nasty.
Divinyll
Women are far more disgusting than men. I clean bathrooms for a living and it's always the case...how do you miss sitting down?
Catsbycat
Half of the women don't sit. They hover over the seats to avoid touching it.
nonameidea2
In public bathrooms many do not sit down. I always take cleaning stuff with me to clean before i can sit down there..
nonameidea2
Most disgusting are public free highway bathrooms
therealbessica
This just reinforces my opinion that everyone should sit down to pee.
SonvaCumberbatch
The unfairness comes in having no feel or knowledge of when the water is beginning or ending.
AngryHobo69
Also a smaller toilet about a foot lower than where it should be.
LadyLucky26
How often do we have toilets that are that low?
Sircowdog1
Sorta depends on how tall you are. ;D
sparkletempt
Why not just sit though?
NotWelcomehere
Sitting is hard and requires my knees to bend lol nah but for real my knees hurt!
ArgonSpark
Because it's not an issue for the vast majority of men.
LetAllYourAngerOutOnMeIDontBite
because my piss is like a straight arrow so i can stand without making a mess
nonameidea2
How do you handle the scattering through the height and the attributes of the toilet. You must be quite small to not make a mess...
sylkysmooth
Because most men are idiots and feel like it's a personal challenge they have to overcome to do everything the slightly more difficult way.
aplethoraofnaps
Git gud.
creepwood
because it fucking sucks when it touches the inside of the bowl.
alecdshope
Two words: morning wood.
ruferto
that's a lot of extra work when you can stand far easier. esp in a public restroom
nonameidea2
What about urinals
ruferto
then you're standing... which is easier
LavenderRainn
She doesn't have the ability to feel the stream. Also, my bf sits down to pee. It's European culture that stuck with him called politeness.
GettingPaidToPoop
You have a girlfriend. Also, if your dad doesn't have a beard, you've got two mums.
BloodofHeroes
She has the hose run directly through her legs... I have had a hose in my hand, you feel water coming through it as easy if not easier.
Fargus57
If he can't drink a 6-pack then write his name in the snow (script), he's not worth dating.
aplethoraofnaps
You only start feeling the stream after the initial aim has proven successful or off the mark. And then you correct the trajectory.
intolerabletolerance
Is this a thing??? I guess I would never have a way of knowing..
vowofsilence
European culture for men to sit and pee?
LavenderRainn
Atleast in Germany.
vowofsilence
Never knew that! Interesting
only90skidswillgetthis
So you're saying a) european men sit down to pee b) in order to be polite. You're either making things up or an absolute fool
LavenderRainn
So basically, when you go over to a guests house you sit sp they don't have to clean up after you. They also have a toilet in their kinder 1
LavenderRainn
Rooms in the middle and they basically just sit down and go.
therealbessica
Found the guy who gets pee everywhere but doesn't notice.
only90skidswillgetthis
The polite thing to do is lift the seat. We aren't standing up to be assholes
therealbessica
However, pee still sprays outside the stream and the toilet. I don't care about where the seat is as long as your pee is only in the toilet
CT1space3DX
She intuitively did everything a drunk guy does. Overshoot, undershoot, drip, laugh your ass off and give a f**k. First time with penis !!
dumbinsults
... and drop it on the ground.
Emulen
She didn't compliment the dude next to her at the urinals though
ThickTomato
Sup
PrisonDonkey
Only thing missing was the foghorn ass blast
28dayslaterwasawarning
What about when the dude in the cubicle next to you tries not to laugh and fails?
Iamnotacreativeman
That's our signature move!
Briqs
Every. Single. Time
ThickTomato
And leaning forward on the arm for support
CT1space3DX
You're so right. I forgot that.
PimpinKen
Weird, ive never done that
ThickTomato
You've never been good and content drunk and gone to piss and you 9ut your arm out to the wall, close your eyes and just lean into jt?
PimpinKen
I've been good and content drunk, but never closed my eyes and leaned into a pee
28dayslaterwasawarning
I've never felt the need to put my hand on a pissy pub wall when drunk. Just sway a bit.
ThickTomato
Didn't say we're at a pissy pu. And you don't put your open hand on the wall, closed fist always
ryukdeathgod929000
Yea but after doing it for so long you learn the motion and dont forget to shake
Dragon10449
Shake it once thats fine....
ComcastLover
Shake really hard for a refreshing misting of nice cool pee on your face
JayEnfield
Frodomann1
"Shake it once, that's fine. Shake it twice, that's ok. Shake three times, you're playing with yourseeeelffff aaaggggaiiinnnn"
Broonstar
also feel the pressure drop when you're nearly finished.
Wikipedo
I also put mine down on the floor when I've finished
Hellfirefighter
My urinary system apparently has a random number generator and the stream isn't always predictable. Siting for it is only an option at home.
GodzillaBoomingMarketOfDiabetes
And then slightly masterbate
sesamesnapsinhalf
I shake it off, I shake it off
DIINKELBERG
Yeah... but sometimes there comes the infamous double stream
RagefaceRS
Ah the double stream. When an ordinary piss immediately becomes a calamity to try and stop spraying piss allover the place.
shitheadtookmyname
Don't shake. Milk a couple strokes. That's the way to not put a drop in the undies
somethingawesomeandgreat
Girldavina
Don’t fucking shake! That’s how the piss goes on the floor!
PirateofthePancreas
No matter how much you shake and dance the last 2 drops go in your pants
Girldavina
Thank you for your honesty!
Tortfeas0r
No matter how much you shake and dance, the last drop always falls in your pants
TheInfio
Apply slight pressure just below the sac
MissPeabody
In your pants? Guys don't dab the tip with TP?
AlterSack
But not too much. More than three times shaking is wanking! Or do, I'm not judging.
iamlegendinjapan
This is the anthem
ComcastLover
Thanks Tinkle Fairy!
BlackAssMamaWhiteAssDaddy
Unless you’re at the urinal next to me, in which case I’m going to judge very violently
JediMan
In which case, I will stare into your eyes as I shake 5 times
suurmestari
I personally finish every time with a well executed helicopter.
kmikl
You know what, just for that I'd shake it like a polaroid picture while maintaining eye contact. It'll be
james20192
So, you are gonna score them or something? What's your scoring methodology? Bonus points for no spray I'm guessing?
Kottok
If you have this much trouble, perhaps you should just sit.
BrownAppShaper
dON't tELl Me WHaT tO Do WITh mY BoDy
OpinionsAreLikeAssholes
Rodrodington1
German?
AlterSack
It is simple: if a urinal is installed, I use it. If not, then I sit the hell down, otherwise I could just piss in the corner.
Kottok
I say this, as a penis owner myself.
IAmLobstronomous
Or maybe everyone should just sit because then you don't have to worry about anything. (Except maybe boners)
wnxkrayzie
I started sitting to pee because i clean the bathroom and it splashes everywhere when i stand.
Thornaxe
Truth. Stand up peeing is done by men who don’t clean bathrooms.
SilverHornet
Or piss in the sink, depending on your state of degeneration.
printerinkistoomuch
I started sitting after I had back problems. I'm never going back
aplethoraofnaps
Same after an accident. I think, or was it before. I am just lazy as hell and its not a problem if I sits.
petrolhead1987
Have you ever sat on a urinal?
shitheadtookmyname
Most German men sit, I'm not kidding. There was some movement to get them to sit decades ago
nonameidea2
Yes. Because the chance of pissing next to it or at least have some splashing around it is high and for others using the same bathroom it is
nonameidea2
Disgusting. If you have a urinal it is a different story but the height distance to a normal toilet is too big
shitheadtookmyname
What I get from this is that they have tiny dicks they can't aim
thatsbadmmkay
She likely does
Kassimila
Assuming you're female. Answer honestly, when was the last time you executed 'the hover'.
Kottok
You have assumed incorrectly.
AccidentalPhallacy
If you sit to pee all the time you get more imgur browsing in.
Zilc
Plus it's better for your prostate.
KillingTlme
10 minute pee
IFavouriteEveryPostISee
10 minutes? That's short. 1 hour at least is my average!
Kottok
Pinyateh
A lot of men need to see this. Just because you can stand.. doesn’t mean you should....
ruferto
i never sit to pee unless i'm pooping. and even then, if its a short-seat toilet, easier to just stand and piss first.
tasteslikechaos
As a man I can proudly state i always sit to pee. Its comfortable, I can meme browse and its way more sanitary.
tasteslikechaos
Even if you have 100% accuracy that shit still splashes and sprays.
ruferto
:D if you havent mastered how to pee w/o splashing and spraying by now (its 100% easy)... yea, you should be sitting.
BatmansUnderPantsAreSoSoft
This is a guy who has clearly never cleaned his own bathroom before.
tasteslikechaos
Go to 1:00 https://youtu.be/ejl7vrDUIcs. You THINK you aren't splashing...sure, but you are no matter what you do.
JaromirAzarov
To be fair, it's certainly harder to aim if you don't have the "flow control" and "flow control feedback"...
StarkRG
The feedback isn't always all that great. Sometimes there's an unexpected flow fluctuation.
JaromirAzarov
Dunno, I only experience the occasional "unexpected flow distribution"...
StarkRG
Sure, now, but when you were first learning? Or when you're drunk?
JaromirAzarov
How would I remember when I was learning it first? I hardly remember anything from when I was 3 years old or younger...
jupitermonkey
skymall presents the male penis, now with flow control and improved flow control feedback™, order yours today and you get 2 for $2.99
Gayforbae
Ill take two penises please!
Hungrypiemonger
sounds like a cyber monday deal
Stabmatic
Take the damn upvote XD +1
BishlamekGurpgork
The question is, Trebeck, do they work? If they work, I'll buy a dozen!
bobbo007
I don't really think this is fair but, it says nothing about if you split stream. Yes, some guys have to sit down to be.
ImplodingPumpkin
But if I sit down my penis touches the bowl.
ketro2099
split? personal best was 3 different directions, 2am no contacts
DontNeedAWeatherManToKnowWhichWayTheWindBlows
"I pee, therefore I am," Rene Descartes, after one too many beers.
Usiris23
To be what?
sanaujiram
To be peeing
Shelest
Every time I did shrooms at some point I had to sit down to be.
Gayforbae
You have a prince albert too?
Noctourn
It's also a good excuse to sit and browse Imgur
imgurschmimgur
I sit down just for a wee seat sometimes.
PremiumCola
Once i got a triple split stream. I was so angry like wtf
BigBadBillyBoy
Clean your fucking dicks, boys.
ILikeToCallItLostWages
Sitting to pee is way way better for the prostate. That's why I switched over permanently unless in public and there are flushless urinals
weerdo
Try peeing with a boner in the morning..
FiveShiftOne
Man I do it at work because when it's this cold and I'm in overalls, the last thing I wanna do is have it fork and get on the inside of my >
FiveShiftOne
many layers of clothes bunched around my feet.
redmangc
Stop jacking off so much then, yes that can cause splitting
LrrrRulerofThePlanetOmicronPerseiVIII
redmangc
https://www.google.com/amp/s/health.clevelandclinic.org/what-does-a-split-urine-stream-mean/amp/ Its the easiest thing to test without Dr
LrrrRulerofThePlanetOmicronPerseiVIII
It’s interesting that leftover semen is the most common reason for blockage! That doesn’t mean masturbation = split stream though. If any->
LrrrRulerofThePlanetOmicronPerseiVIII
>thing I think more frequent masturbation would help clean out blockages. Plus, it’s good for the prostate, reducing that possible cause
CouldCareLessButDoesnt
Dozens of us
littlebear64
A dozen and 1.
Inarticulated
So.. a baker's dozen?
littlebear64
YES!
Behleren
came here to post this, you magnificent bastard!
TheHappyMadman
Have a coworler that got his penis piercied(prince albert) then it got ripped out tore his penis head in half , and later on got stuck 1/
TheHappyMadman
/1 together with another piercing. He has to sit down or the toilet will have a golden shower ?
shitheadtookmyname
Why would you do this
LrrrRulerofThePlanetOmicronPerseiVIII
trowelwielder
Reverse PA here. Can confirm it can be a mess to not sit.
Mileryen
I sit at home (less cleanup, clean environment, etc.) and stand otherwise. Never understood why you wouldn't sit to pee in your own house.
Simonboo
When we put lino down it confirmed how much pee had been going on the carpet. Eurgh!
Mileryen
You had... bathroom... carpet?
Hurro
Yup. I would prefer not to clean up anything and sitting is the simplest way to ensure that.
cropduster5000
I don’t like scrubbing piss off the walls and floor off my bathroom, which eventually build up regardless of your aim
MadeYouLookAgain
What? That's not really a thing is it? I've been a standup pisser since I could and have never had "wall piss buildup"
cropduster5000
Maybe it’s just how sharp of a nose I have. Nothing visual, but there is a smell that builds up to my nose
MadeYouLookAgain
Hmm? When I clean the bathroom I kinda just give the whole toilet and toilet area a once over with 409 probably every two or three weeks.
aguyinabox
Honestly? I never sit because when I do I always have to shit and I try not to shit cause my asshole bleeds
srirachamakeseverythingbetter
you wipe too hard. Also use wet wipes
SoapyWandKenobi
IOnlyFavouriteBunniesAndRats
Welve
Go to the doctor to confirm it’s just hemorrhoids if you haven’t.
aguyinabox
It’s a tear from a turd when I was around 16
pajasa