Imgur, I present to you my take on the classic smash burger.

Tasted like Guy Fieri's greasy wet dreams, and felt like a heart attack on my arteries, but oh so worth it. 5/7 would make again. Since it's got vegetables it's healthy, right?

And I know how you folks like recipes with your food so here's my method:

Ingredients:

Ground beef - 80% lean 20% fat chuck is what I used and it was perfect, just the right amount of fat but not too much, but whatever you have will work fine. More fat makes a juicer burger that doesn't dry out on high heat, so I generally go with that. I used a little more than 2 pounds, which will generally make between 8 and 10 patties.

Montreal steak or hamburger seasoning - to taste, you can even just use salt and pepper if you're a burger purist, I just tend to like a little more zing in my burgers, and Montreal adds the perfect kick.

Vegetable oil - I use canola oil, as olive adds that olive oil flavor to whatever you cook it in. You'll want the meatiness of the burger to be the main thing you're tasting.

American cheese - a necessity in my opinion, it melts very quickly and adds that smooth creamy texture that holds the patty together. Other cheeses are fine but most take longer to melt, and since timing is of the essence with these, it would make that timing little more difficult. However, it's up to you. And if cheese offends you, just leave it off!

Various toppings to taste - I used lettuce, tomato, grilled onions, dill pickles, mayonnaise, and ketchup.

And last but not least, good buns! You aren't going to want some floppy wimpy tiny bun, as they will get soppy and greasy and fall apart after one bite... There's a euphemism in there somewhere.

Start with your prep work, like cutting vegetables and getting all your ingredients out, so you can assemble your burgers as they freshly come off the skillet.

When doing large batches, I like to have the oven set on a medium-low heat, around 200° F to keep already cooked burgers warm on a baking tray, so preheat your oven as well if you're gonna do that.

Mix up your burgers and seasoning in a large bowl. Season generously, so you can see specks of seasoning incorporated throughout, and just lightly mix by hand or by spoon to make sure it's all incorporated, but not turned into a mush. Balance and personal taste is key, and if you feel like it's too much or not enough seasoning, it probably is.

Heat up your skillets to medium-high, depending on your oven top. Gas stoves heat up very quickly and hold a good heat, while electric and induction stoves can take longer and heat up less, depending on the stove. The key to these babies is cooking them high and fast so they crisp up on the outside, but keeping juicy on the inside.

Put a small amount of oil in your pans, to make sure your burgers don't stick and burn. You won't want a lot, as then they'll get too oily, just enough to lightly cover the pan.

Form your meat into nice round balls, approximately the size of your buns when squished down. I do this by eye, and I test how the patty will squish down by squishing it with a spatula on a baking sheet first before cooking it. As they burgers lose fat, they will shrink a little, so keep that in mind. Thin burgers will cook more quickly, which is what you want.

Smash your burger ball down into the skillet with a large spatula, and cook away! They're going to look uneven and messy, but that's a-ok and exactly what you want. They cook very quickly, generally between 1 minute for the first side and 30 seconds for the other. It's all about eyeing it and seeing the browining occur.

Before you flip your burger, season the uncooked side generously with your seasoning or salt and pepper, and then flip. When the edges of the burger turn crispy brown, that's when you know to flip.

Place a slice of cheese on your burger after you flip, and let cook for about 30 more seconds and you're done! Once the process gets going, you get a feel for how it's done. I use two skillets and just place each new burger in the oven and then add a new one to the pan.

To toast your buns, add a little bit of butter to the skillet and place them upside down for a couple minutes so they brown and get crisp.

To grill your onions, add a little bit of oil to one of your skillets and grill for around 4 minutes on medium high heat. I like to cook them in the burger grease left in the skillet as it adds a little more flavor.

Assembe your burgers how you like, and enjoy the meats of your labor!

Burger #2, BBQ style. Would have been amazing with bacon, I'm definitely gonna remember that for next time.

Cat tax. Goldberry is the white and Bombadil the black. They're a bunch of turds, but cute turds, so I keep them around.