Having spawn #2 tomorrow...celebrating with a parenting dump.

Oct 27, 2016 8:10 PM

whitestgirlyouknow

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73029

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2274

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92

Also, cat (and #1 when she was a baby) tax...

Yeah... that gonna be a "no" for me, dog.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Everybody should have a degree in parenting when they graduate High School. The rest of us have to live with the monster you create.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

My landlords have a 3-month-old, I'm caught between "that looks cute and rewarding" and "I'm kinda glad that's not me"

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

These would be funny if not true. My 5yo farted on my arm while I was scrolling the dump

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yeah whatever it sucks sometimes but after all that's why we're here.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I like the one about hide and seek with the chain link fence

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Lol looks like santa lost his temper again, that's so awesome

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

#20 That is one strong baby.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Is the guy teaching his kids about taxes a corporation?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I actually had the monster spray when i was little, sprayed my pillow too. It helped tbh

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#3 My cat does the same thing.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

We also have two cats I've given up on privacy a LONG time ago

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

To be fair, when the baby swamps the car seat with diarrhea the only safe way to start that job is with the garden hose.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Fuckin hell...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Goodluck ! I'll be having mine in January.. I'm nervous.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thanks and congrats! And good luck to you, too! I've been nervous both times - completely natural. You got this, though!!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Congrats! T-minus 8 months until my 2nd. I'm excited!!!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thanks and congrats to you too!!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We had that picture book when I was a kid... my mom cried every time she read it to me and my brothers

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I do, too. Every time.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

FREAKIN' AWESOME!!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Congratulations on the spawn

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

+

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ok. what was the name of that book. with the mother holding her son.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

That guy needs to upgrade his twin bed

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Pretty sad, the book was written after the author had two stillborns :(

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Love You Forever, I believe. It's one of those I liked but always made me tear up so I try to avoid it

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Had my daughter three weeks ago, just starting this epic ride.

9 years ago | Likes 55 Dislikes 1

Mazel tov!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Thank you

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Beat piece of advice I can give, live on the babies schedule, that way you'll get plenty of sleep and be able to handle the process of

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Gradually changing their routine much easier.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hey!!!! Just had my son 3 weeks ago!! Oct 5! Congrats!!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Our kids share a birthday.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Congrats! When they get older they turn into a living sour patch kids commercial...but it's all worth it, promise!

9 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

Thank you

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Congrats!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

STOP BEFORE YOU HIT 4 CHILDREN.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

May not even make two

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Luckily they mostly sleep for the first months

9 years ago | Likes 128 Dislikes 1

I got the baby that never slept more than an hour or two at a time, day or night.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

But they don't sleep through the night.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

No. No they dont!

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yeah unless you're breast-feeding. Then you get to sleep for 2-3 hours at a time. Try that shit. Function on that shit. Spoiler, you can't.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Mine didn't ever. Up all day, everyday.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Not sure if joking or lucky

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thank god for that!

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

I hope you have an easier time than we did! :) Best of luck and congrats.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Thanks!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Tell my daughter that, first 3.5 months were 14-16 hours of crying. Colic and GERD, my pediatrician said he had never seen it that bad.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Why I can't have kids: *baby cries inconsolably for 16 hrs* "uhh, well I guess this one's broken" *sets baby down in grass,walks away*

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My heart breaks for experiences like yours. I would have lost my mind, quite literally. Props to you!!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That only benefits you when you have only one child. With more than one kid, you don't get a break even when one naps.

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

The one thing I'm worried about the most is one waking up the other. It's okay I'll just sleep when I'm dead

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

As a parent you can sleep when you die

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

But kids eventually go back to sleep. You will survive the rough moments. Enjoy the wonder of having a newborn.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

They will certainly wake each other from time to time. I have 3 kids under the age of 6. My wife and I are very tired.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

You guys are my new heroes

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thanks! My brother and his wife have kids the same age as ours. But somehow, THEIRS SLEEP IN. Mine wake before the sun. Godspeed, sir.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0