WarmButteryCopPorn
475771
11975
295
Apr 27, 2017 9:19 PM
WarmButteryCopPorn
475771
11975
295
upvoteDogs22
He's actually just a really creepy burglar taking pictures of a married couple.
ThePudding
He's much better looking than the guy she brought home.
DynamicThreads
Fuck being the bigger person, that guy would wake up to his face being stomped and not because my GF because thats my house and my bed dude
BenEwanKenoby
When my ex cheated I broke down like a fucking baby, never felt so betrayed or hurt in my life. Cheaters are the worst kind of people.
mirrelle
Alcohol is no excuse to cheat, glad the guy is taking it well- he definitely deserves better than that POS.
flomasterdelux
Truth is always easier to take, might hurt, but the weak one is the deceiver. Your strength of character shines brother! Walk on, walk on!
vampirelibrarian
Expected him to print the photos and frame them around the house for these douchebags to see when they awake
danishjuggler21
Plot twist: he has a cuckold fetish.
SendMePornAndNudes
theres a cure for that, suicide
shandrono
Slither of humor
Smayds
ICanMakeItDisappearWithMyMouth
plot twist: this isnt his house. hes been stalking her for months.
ChrisXApplesauce
Fun fact: I graduated with the guy in the bed (48 person class). I went to school with him K-12. He was an ass to me on several occasions.
[deleted]
[deleted]
stagg572
Not all black people are named Malik. Just most of them jeez.
centaursandtacos
Stepbrother! http://blacksportsonline.com/home/2017/04/how-mans-fb-photos-showing-his-gf-cheating-with-her-step-bro-led-100s-of-women-to-his
SendMePornAndNudes
oh, then its ok. it stays in the family
DementedMonkeys
"cracken". Lol, websites these days let illiterates write.
itsabeer
"You're a #TEXAN"....
why the unnecessary hashtag?
NeutralPitStopCommenter
This is a neutral comment. Feel free to pit stop here before going down to the lower comments
birdspy
THANK YOU SO MUCH, DEFINITELY THE MVP HERE
Bricklemeyer
Oh man, I needed that. Scrolling down sure is hard work!
XschailaeuxXschelaeiX
I do dis to ma kids. <3
Cptmike
cat person huh?
LarsWijn
Yes
RosegoldEverything
Shoulda climbed in bed with them to see the reaction in the morning, lol.
aPokal
Well we don't know if the man in bed would be up for a threesome.
1Em1
Best idea, I wish imgur had reddit gold so I could say I wanted to give it to you and then not do it
Smithway
Oh yeah you just came home and found another man sleeping in your bed with your girl, and thats your first thought?
ImHereToGetDownvotes
This dudes first thought was "Let me take a selfie" so how would @TheDragonflyby 's reaction really be any more extreme?
RosegoldEverything
I mean, if I came home and found a man sleeping with my girl, I'd wonder when I became a lesbian and got a girlfriend, but I was just making
Smithway
cheating isnt funny, but I tend to over react about stuff
RosegoldEverything
a joke. Who knows what my first thought would be, probably a lot of them all at once.
ImHereToGetDownvotes
How dare you try to bring humor to the internet!
PornhubsFirstTree
Hopefully no kids..
FakePlasticTreehugger
A Facebook search shows he has a young son.
MiniVanMegaFun
some facebook stalking says there is
ConfessionBare
She's going to roll over, see that it's just a mannequin head, get scared, and everyone is going to have a nice laugh.
PornhubsFirstTree
Arms too tho
IAmDrBanner
No, the arms are real. Only the head is from a mannequin.
Hoiloidl
That sound like somethings the abominable Dr. Phibes would do.
marszlrs
I don't think you guys understand. This man is crazy passive aggressive imo. I was cheated on, just found nudes nothing like this, and the
marszlrs
anger that took over me was unreal. the fcking pain and feeling of betrayal. Top it off? She said to go to bed and we will talk in the morni
marszlrs
ng. Didnt sleep that night, in the AM i told her she can burn in hell and flew back to my parents. Shit was brutal. This man is a saint.
PreciousPotato
Maybe he was even relieved - maybe he wanted to break up with her anyway, and she delivers the best possible setup for a clean, easy /1
PreciousPotato
break while he's still the "good guy".
ilikeblondehair
Thats what happened to me with one girlfriend in highschool.. either way, glad he can now get out of that mess
[deleted]
[deleted]
delightphil
That. Over there. A thing. *Points into the distance* A thing! (all of this makes more sense than just saying THIS)
DarthLordJay
After he took selfies he fucked that dude up.
FajitaPrinceofAllMexicans
The before pictures in the before and after pictures.
FartedWhileMakingUpName
fucked that dude until he woke up*
hellofromafar
Remove up
DarthLordJay
Hahahah
ImHereToGetDownvotes
Not the dudes fault. She's the one that cheated, random bar guy is just a victim as well.
seltzerandjin
Though it looks bad, I don't think we have enough information to pass judgement
CommanderWilliamTRiker
That's a no from me, dawg.
LittleKnownOne
Yeah, quick, find a way to make her the victim and perfect.
seltzerandjin
Like I said, she doesn't make a good first impression. Not sure why you're so dramatic
harlock92
Fuck i wanna know what happened next?
insongwhang
They lived happily ever after
sneevly
/a/yk4TN
DougDeNasty
He went and slept on the black leather couch.
RatsOff2Ya
He fixes the cable?
WileEQuixote
The entire train applauded.
TheYoungGod
I just wanna know if he made breakfast. IDC about the rest.
imguringaround
Me too!
TemetNosce000
blowmetwotimes
gloves don't fit, you must acquit
slothsaremagic
Probably a divorce with a lot of evidence against his wife.
TheRealHouseton
Girlfriend from this post not wife.
DementedMonkeys
Then a boot to the ass with no repercussions aside from having to buy a new mattress? Good.
ColoneISanders
Click on this article to find out!
theluckysuccess
AVERAGE man learns strength with this tricks
hailtothepumpkinking
Males hate him!!
ping0s
What happens next will shock you!
littlefruit
Ok, that made me laugh.
Pullout69
I don't care how many clicks it takes I want to know
zootch
Corntana
Made a hole in the ceiling and shit on them
CatsInStrangePlaces
Carnes28
Then beat them with jumper cables
SonneDoom
MylarTack
Iunderstoodthatreference.gif
DeathBeUponYou
After eating gone off tacos .
IAmASentientWaffle
Threesome.
kishinlemming
He fell asleep spooning the guy.
ActuallyJabbaTheHutt
wafflestompa
Took some serious searching but found an interview with the guy: https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ
aspensmonster
Use the original, you uncultured swine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0
narcissisticarsonist
You bastard! Take your upvote in the ass!
zapala
It's going to be good Friday Hahahaha , thanks .
thewaitisover
+1, you jackass!
denim2500
BillHaleyandHisBANNEDComments2
Not the hero we deserve... but the hero we have
ProfessorSandwich
Hahaha
Wannarubbutts
I'd like to speak to a manager.
meesterjohnson
MorgueFilth860
Nooooooooooooo
BADD0GGIE
Beardo76
I already knew what I was getting into but the Youtube survey saved me!
IdRatherBeOnThePlaystation
Mother...
gnovice
Not today, staggered W's. Not today.
sleepisthemostimportantmealoftheday
You son of a
CarlosRV
.
Wussgoodbruh
Damn that ain't happened to me in years good shit lmao
andyfma
XcQ dead give away
NIMMNOM
I was actually listening to the song on Spotify when your link fooled me into listening once more. Niice
alhannahgnome
Oh ffs
frigginAlpha
+1 you jerk
iHumanity
The house and his pension will belong to her.
TK421isAFK
Boyfriends and girlfriends only "divorce" in junior high school.
sooligan
My Dad was the one who cheated and he didn't pay alimony or child support.
goingtothesea
The text refers to her as girlfriend, not wife, so she'd get n0thing
ino84
She gets a CS GO professional? Guess that's good for her, he's making a lot of money.
RevanTheJedi
plot twist: it's her house
iHumanity
I'm just joking, don't take that seriously.
EnjoysTheRain
Sadly, I think you are more correct than you would like. Any "no fault" state, that is the case.
VerdantApollo
"too late!"-U.S Courts
darkdragonempress
Depending on states her cheating destroys chances of alimony and reduces settlements considerably. Even in no fault states each is entitled1
darkdragonempress
To half the marriage asserts. 3
Vivificus
I thought if you were caught cheating you don't get anything.
pedrodelossantos
Brother caught his wife multiple times. Still lost the house, kids and alimony. Yay texas.
kusuriya
depends on if your state does at fault or not. Washington as an example is a community property state so it doesn't matter who she was doing
SchopenhauersCat
Not necessarily
CodeChimpin
Depends on the state. Fl is a no fault state, so doesn't matter if you cheat. Don't know if Tx is or not.
arsetechnica
Some places the wife just has to say that he was mean and drove her to doing it and she still gets everything.
TK421isAFK
No. Life is not a Lifetime movie.
syntaxxor
Truth. Need proof though.
TK421isAFK
No, that's only in states that have at-fault divorce laws. Not CA, incidentally.
dicksniffer69
Damn!!! If only this guy had a little proof!
MrCarrOfHerMajestysEmpire
Sayyyyy.... photographic evidence ?
PrincessDonaldTrumpBANNED
That's just proof they got were in the same bed together. It can be a pain in the Ass to prove sex.
iBarracudaFur
Too convenient.
LazyTheAssCat
Idk what it was, but this got me laughing hard enough for family to knock on door and ask if I'm ok.
Idontknowmyusername
I will also call a friend or family to come to have a witness
technobass
I think your sentence structure is out of order
gubbstrut
the murder
CatsInStrangePlaces
Shamalamadingdongz
.
SomeoneSomewhereOrSomething
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQsnHISvn3w
walkingtallmachinegunman
You won't believe what happened next!
Moridin23
Did she cheat because of how he spells his name "Duston"?
SkillCheckStudios
It's pronounced Dew-stahn
RosegoldEverything
No one cheats with some chick like duston
mac821
iseewhatyoudidthere.gif
luvas
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/yugioh/images/7/71/WhiteDuston-LVAL-EN-SP-UE.png
CthulhusGreasyBallsack
"he" didn't have a choice in the matter of how his name is spelled.
LittleKnownOne
Or because female?
MilesOnACar
Nah, let's be real- he's been debating on breaking up w/ her for awhile and this came at the right time.
DorminRader
True dat. Now he has the high ground, negating any of his transgressions. Brillz
stagg572
To be fair, that's pretty bomb proof in terms of having the high ground.
zeethenomad
That's seems correct. You couldn't be that rational if it was truly a shock.
Foxsayy
Maybe many can't, but there are certainly those who can.
Nooooooooooooooooooooo
When you suspect something like this for so long (I'm assuming he did), you end up reacting calm bc it's a relief to have confirmation.
zeethenomad
When me and my wife split up (no cheating just incompatibly) it wasn't really a shock. No fighting, just resignation that we couldn't do it
zeethenomad
It had been such a long time coming that both of us were finally just like "are we still doing this?" We actually split on pretty good terms
Dionysus187
If he was 'in love' there is no way this is how it would go. He was probably gearing up to leave her or suspected the fucking around already
stagg572
Loved and in love are technically different I guess.
kickyelanore
Just to be fair, it looks liek she passed out with all her clothes on, and that guy might have gotten in bed with her after. maybe.
NotTodayNotYesterday
Exactly. First thought was she was passed out the whole time. Must be too empathetic
NickRivieraMD
What difference does it make if she brought someone home to their bed, whether or not they fucked? What does empathy have to do with it?
Raaadman
Oh cmon...
gemgen
He mentioned they had a spare bedroom..
VagisilToothpaste
OR they could've fucked and she kept her shirt on...lots of chicks do.
themuttonisniceandlean
I was wondering that, too, especially if she was that drunk.
desenclos
He found a "slither of humor?" Really?
crookedpinki
It was tentacles all along
PaganUniform
Honestly pointing out that mistake now is a damp squid
[deleted]
[deleted]
ORCNOTPORK
BearsBeetsandBattlestarGalactica
23?
spudpicker
Don't make fun of people with lithpth. He meant to thay "thliver" . . . hold on . . . "thliver". "THLIVER" . . . . . . thit, never mind.
tzxAzrael
i mean... this "journalist" is reporting on a story from Facebook. plus she's still dressed. you're probably expecting too much.
waltjrimmer
I feel it was a little more like this, he walked in and thought https://media.giphy.com/media/aPfCsne7adGZW/giphy.gif
waltjrimmer
Then he considered doing this to the guy:
v
waltjrimmer
But he knew his wife would feel this way if he took the high road: https://media.tenor.co/images/fce480f89b4d4b28f6a33814f6c5dc8e/tenor.gif
waltjrimmer
Also, for anyone not getting it, all three of the gifs I shared are from a comedy/horror movie called Slither.
mratio
Was that Nathan Fillion?
Smayds
bjohnson66
Underrated
forestfinagle
Yay!
DoctorWh0m
Yes. Amazing.
WeylandYutaniCorp
Yea, I was wondering if that was some kind of Harry Potter shit that I didn't understand. Nope, just dumb people.
ElloTherePoppet
Or autocorrect? I prefer believing it was autocorrect
WeylandYutaniCorp
Autocorrect doesn't force you to hit send. I like to think people should still be accountable for their own faults. Only way to grow.
ElloTherePoppet
I hit send without proofreading all the time. Primarily because it's not an essay
WeylandYutaniCorp
You're right. It's not that important. Maybe I'm too critical.
whatupmyknitters
they're not dumb, persay
NahYouDontKnow
Per se*
whatupmyknitters
k but for all intensive purposes it's fine because you get what i'm saying
NahYouDontKnow
Yep, just passing on knowledge, not trying to be a jerk haha
spudpicker
*Intents and purposes*, but I still love you, irregardless.
anon7564
its because shes a snake
OrigamiShark
Well, for all intensive porpoises, it's essentially the same word.
ThomasTheScrakeEngine
Mistakes like these are a diamond dozen.
KobayashiPorcelain
I just hope his girlfriend can get back on the straightened arrow.
JohannVonTittySprinkles
rainevasquez
I c what u did there
Znayx
Icy two
Dallium
*in tents and porpoises
thetallestninja
No one mentioned that her shirt is still on? Quite possibly all her clothes? You don't put that shit back together drunk as a skunk.
Frogfox
Yeah it might be that nothing happened and they just passed out. It's good hear out the full story.
hunglikehodor
Yeah but, it was his own house and she was alone there with him. It seems extremely unlikely.
The3DPrintingPolak
I mean...I've totally had sex with a shirt on before in my life so I'd imagine other people have.
LiquidMilk
OhMyGodTheyKilledBrianYouBastards
maybe they banged while she had her shirt on?
LiquidMilk
VagisilToothpaste
I actually prefer to keep my bra/shirt on during sex. Just feels better to me.
Doyousellfreezepopshere
Well when you're drunk as a skunk you would probably take off less clothes to have sex then more.
VagisilToothpaste
Yep, especially women. Even we have trouble with shit like bra hooks when we're drunk. We also don't care as long as the pants come off/down
stagg572
If you believe that, just wow. "I came home with and passed out with a random black guy but we didn't do anything so its ok!" Just lol.
governmentgavemeagun
Even if that's true, she gets dumped for bringing him home with intent. After all they made it ito the bed...
lildude52ca
had something similar happen to me when i was younger. i got piss drunk and passed out in a spare bed at a party, woke up with a stranger
Banditsalmon
That's happen to me a few years ago, but we were both girls so it wasn't a scandal.
qwarfmup
That's what I thought - they have their clothes on, could be just passed out friends. But yeah, apparently not in this case.
lildude52ca
2/ it was people from work and work got back to my S.O. but the truth is i had no idea the second person was there until i woke up
governmentgavemeagun
Maybe don't get unconscious-drunk at a party unless your S.O is there to protect you?
governmentgavemeagun
On second thought, just try not to get blackout-drunk at all...
samsonsimson
I'm still trying decide if Duston is just passive aggressive as fuck.
Snickt
He wanted out, this was his excuse
superwasabi
I think he just doesnt have the balls to do anything honestly
theyar
That's really not what passive aggressive means.
HawasKaPujari
I suppose at this point, you would think that if you getting mad will be of any consequence?
EcnoTheNeato
Also, he very well COUL have been mad? We can manifest our anger in different ways. His just happened to be in selfie-form
indigorinse
Exactly.
thor0486
the answer is yes, shit's made up.
Ireadtoomuch
age of information why get angry when you can blow them up on social media, and i mean its great for lawyers
elppapple
Eh, it'll fester into an explosive rage after about two months.
werwerwere
Why? When someone cheats, you can leave with zero guilt. She'll be the one regretting her actions. He'll be able to move on quicker.
RosegoldEverything
Not always the case. It isn't just about guilt; it's about someone you loved betraying you, and you losing them - or rather, losing what -
RosegoldEverything
-you once had, the love you shared. Someone cheating doesn't necessarily mean you move on easily.
werwerwere
I think i would react like he did. There's no point getting mad, the relationship is finished. What can you do?
MisterTrashPanda
Murder.
EdgyReggieBushWedgie
I'd feel like a pussy for the rest of my life if I didn't react right then and there. Wouldn't even necessarily be physically violent
werwerwere
I understand. They say you always regret what you dont say but i think minimal is best. People will remember how they felt not what you said
thelostg
When I was younger, I would have been very pissed, jealous, and would have over-reacted. Not these days.
thelostg
Also would never happen these days. My guess is that relationship was never on firm footing to begin with...
155DangerClose
You've never been in love then
missbelled
I can only see an eye, but he looks sad. Not distraught, but... I can't help but feel this wasn't the first sign things weren't okay.
werwerwere
Yeh if he's been messed around before, he would be more mentally prepared to let go (& not get as angry), compared to a shock incident.
werwerwere
I never said i wouldn't cry...
RosegoldEverything
Fuck now I'm sad.
tomyironmane
... and what, pray tell, do you think his socially acceptable options are...?
samsonsimson
Posting nothing on social media, and if anyone asks, just state that they decided to move on. Best revenge is living well.
tomyironmane
I think letting EVERYONE know why helps the next guy. Now he can find out just how faithful she is. But that's not important, I guess.
samsonsimson
That's on them to figure out. No need to be Captain Saveabro.
tomyironmane
Right, because she'll TOTALLY tell the truth, and not lie like a rug... assuming you're lucky.
watdefuqBoi
imnotinprisonhidingaphoneinmybutt
Jrex42
Better than being physically aggressive, like most people would in this situation
knasitaket
There is a reasonable middle ground you know..
CommanderWilliamTRiker
Like me
ManicYEEtPressive
So you're telling me you wouldn't get mad? I'm just curious is all.
RosegoldEverything
Anger and violence don't have to go hand in hand.
Jrex42
Absolutely I'd get mad. It's about what you do with the anger. Physical aggression just makes things worse.
EdgyReggieBushWedgie
Not exactly that simple
ManicYEEtPressive
Alright, i got what i needed from this. thanks for the answer without some smug remark. +1.
DaDisser
Short term better. Long term much much much much worse.
Fahargo
I've never understood physical anger. I've never once in my adult life been angry enough to hit someone. So childish to me.
CocksAndRocks
I envy you.
dmoore182
Then you're not dealing with enough people on a daily basis.
EdgyReggieBushWedgie
Whoa buddy, a little pretentious.
TheEightfoldPath
I understand why you wouldn't punch someone, it might ruin your fingerless gloves. Oh, and the trenchcoat might be in the way too.
Fahargo
You're totally right. Because i don't try and fight people all the time must mean I'm a fedora/trench coat/ glove wearing neck beard
dmoore182
He's an intellectual fighting with words.
Turdmonkey
They're both dead and he is taking pictures after he killed them
BDBones
I fuckin if your style Turdmonkey
BDBones
If was supposed to say dig. Ya dig?
BDBones
Don't care for Internet points but I sincerely hope those that down voted me for no reason have to watch their parents die
miidnightbleus
Zamnnnnn
donkeykongsbanana
*plot twist
ignatiuspopular
my exact first thought.
pens9192
Plot twist: He broke into a random house hoping to be named the Selfie Strangler
Skittleballs
I like you
Mayyybe
This is why I am here, for this comment
Skizzlesnap
No man then it would be on Facebook live. That's so hot right now.
birdmanbuck
Brutality good sir
INeedTPNow
And before he eats the bodies.
FreekoftheHood
I like you.
wlxr
Good men deserve good women.
ThePotatoBandito
Yep, smothered them with a pillow..
AlswarJenkins
Exactly! This picture helps the alibi.
pyrrhlis
YourMomsNewBoyfriend
I would agree if it weren't for the dudes unmistakable passed out drunk arm on forehead. Killer would be pretty slick to think of that
Craftworks
Look at last pic.With her sleeping in the middle it seems like there was a THIRD person involved,but already left his/her side of the bed?
Beepity
BahamutBBob
They didn't die from shock, they died from the acid injections.
Atribbs
Plot twist: thats not really his girlfriend. He just followed a drunk couple home and is looking for fake internet points and attention.
bluepopsicles
thats the plot twist there
INeedTPNow
Plotter twister: he's actually a robber.
Darkspire
"You...you live like this?"
myaestheticis2000smovies
DirtyWizardsBrew
and right before he ate them.
DeathBeUponYou
Then sold the organs to their columbian mafia.
IMakeBooze
Now THAT is a plot twist
FireFlowerist
Actually I expected that, but then Rick came..
Ventrix
an unexpected ricktastrophe
PenisOfDeath
GET RICKITYRECKED SON!
lexifornow
That's just an educated guess
deonizm
Actually, it's a plot filled. Get the shovel.
MyUsernameNeverChecksOut
I was having my morning coffee. Well done!
RowRowFightThePowa
That was amazing. Thank you for the good laugh, sir.
kkus
I'll be the one to make it sad. I immediately thought of Rick and Morty when I read this...
jo136942
I'm watching Rick and Morty right now.
RowRowFightThePowa
Hey you know what?
McPleeben
more like working as intended!
ChildishKnight
Aaaaand now we know who is from 4chan XD
DrPhillipMahmoufWifarts
idkwhattowriteherehelpme
I don't get it... help a man in need?
MysticSorcha
That's OJ Simpson with the telltale "Schrödinger's" golf glove that did or didn't fit
MysticSorcha
Might have been a driving glove, I was like 6 when this went down forgive me
kah929
JimJonesKoolAidSurvivor
glove don't fit, you must acquit
SumoSGazer
Hephf
Saxxon92
Son a bitch stole my line +1
MysticSorcha
Reference of the century +1
AlwaysTrustTheManInABigWhiteVan
Damn the face he's making seems smug
ImBrutallyHonest
almost like he might get away with murder?
AlwaysTrustTheManInABigWhiteVan
That's pretty brutally honest
ImBrutallyHonest
I try.
kepler20c
Meet Grady, a 29 year old construction worker. After coming home from a hard days work, he walks in the door of his trailer park home to
rumandbass
nothing like an enminem album to make me feel deader inside.
kepler20c
find his wife in bed with another man.
crushingbore
All right, calm down. Relax and start breathing.
ewcelery
fuck that shit
badmedic504
Fuck that, you just caught this bitch cheating!
Gayforbae
While you at work she's with some dude tryin' to get off? Fuck slittin' her throat, cut this bitches head off!
spookymonster
Relax, maybe there's a reasonable explanation for all this.