KittyBitMe
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1067
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Everyone should have this support or be this support for someone else. #Artbymoga
Feb 3, 2024 3:26 AM
KittyBitMe
65717
1067
26
Everyone should have this support or be this support for someone else. #Artbymoga
Ivain
Thats not how love works though? Like by that argument, nobody with self-confidence, self-loathing or any form of self-image issues can be in a relationship at any point, and as soon as your SO develops one or more of those you must dump them.
gearsmith
Simple, I don't.
bingotown
I received plenty of love as a kid, but I have no idea what it means to love myself.
CitrusyGarlic
Ahh yes, I remember what having support felt like, good times
UnicornRaline
I am not quite there on loving myself, but it did take a long time to learn to appreciate who and what I am
I'll get there someday
IUsedToHaveUsernameOnce
Yeah nah that's bullshit and I fucking hate cunts that say this shit.
CandidGamera
Why yes it's easy to get out of that pit if you are already in a loving relationship which renders the premise moot. What an inspiring comic!
CommanderXirlos
I don’t love myself and I once resigned myself that I never will, but, piece by piece, by learning from those who love me how they love me, I learn what about me is worth loving – and I’m willing to gamble it’s all of me.
Gen1Optimus
He's blue, daba dee daba di
littlefoxpounce
There isn't a single person in this world that I loathe more than myself
maeta
Except for those ABUSERS
nccomputermechanics4
Was told this my entire life and guess who also never tried because how can I be loved if I don't love myself. That phrase is a two edged sword made of fire hardened BS.
criticalhitkoala
Isn't the first panel what RuPaul says at the end of drag race?
DarkfireDragon
Why is Ralph Bluetawn angrily lecturing a random lady?
JemIsTrulyOutrageous
I asked my partner if he loved himself once and was surprised he said yes. I assumed most people didn't, we had very different upbringings. He had involved parents, I had neglectful ones. He asked me if I loved myself, I said no I don't. It genuinely seemed to hurt him that I don't. I don't subscribe to the idea that you have to love yourself to love others. I love him more than anything in this world. He makes me want to love myself and take care of myself knowing hurting myself hurts him.
maeta
People's reactions are so strange aren't they?
JemIsTrulyOutrageous
I don't think he realized the depths of my depression and self loathing before that. I think it kind of scared him. He didn't scold me for it though the way some do when you don't react to positivity with positivty. He just sort of looked at me for a moment then held me and assured me after a while I'm worth loving.
DisgruntledFerret
Man, I miss when the Blue Man Group were mute.
DMWilhelm
A person who doesn't love themselves, doesn't try to change, and blames everyone else for not fixing them though, nah.
PrincessDaystar
I hate myself most days due to all the pain im in daily and the trauma ive experienced but each day i work on myself a little FOR my partners, not for me. But i want to be better for them. Dunno what experience you had but eesh what a terrible outlook.
DMWilhelm
You're actually putting in the work though, good job. It seems like you didn't understand what I was saying.
DMWilhelm
Comic says in last panel. "She is working on it." You're also working on it. Some people don't.
WilliamWeird
What the fuck is selfless love then, eh? A tub of "I Can't Believe It's Not Love"?
DisgruntledFerret
I mean, sometimes it's codependency. It's not healthy to give all your love to someone else and save none for yourself.
WilliamWeird
I believe it might be self respect, rather than self love. I can respect someone and not be in love with them, as I can respect my needs and not love me. I'm just not my type.
dbbbbs
Did not realize blue man group people talked.
dontrike
I don't expect anyone to love me. In fact, it's likely better that they don't.
MeowMachine12
It doesn't have to be that way, you know. It's okay to be be flawed and still be loved. It's important to keep working on yourself though and grow.
dontrike
It feels like forever since I did that, but honestly I just find it easier to be disliked. That I'm used to, but being liked is so strange. I have no idea how to do that thing.
WeatherWiz
I was told that the reason why I’m still single is because I just haven’t been able to love myself completely. Which I guess is true since it’s been like almost 8 years.
lazycrow
Almost 16 years since I was told "I'm afraid you'll never find anyone to love you" by my departing ex! And, y'know what? I haven't. But, I like me. I also discovered things about myself and my own sexuality during that time that *might* be at play too. Meh. Overall, pretty happy despite Mr. Foretold Omens trying to wreck me from beyond.
Slashenaar
We are social creatures. At not point in our evolution did we do it alone, we are communal. This idea that we must fix ourselves and then join society is literally and truly insane. We are supposed to be here to help one another
Goldmarble
Self loathing for 11+ years. Haven't looked for a relationship, because fuck that. I am not going to hurt someone else with my bullshit.
PrincessDaystar
Ya know i thought the same, then i accidently fell into a relationship xD
bengrue
Why is Doctor Manhattan being a dick to her?
ExtremeCowEnthusiast
That's an amazing thing to say when you want people to feel even more hopeless
PeterPanGuineaPig
I understand what you and the comic are saying, but that's not really what the true message means. It's healthy to work on and love yourself first *instead of* relying on others' love for self-esteem (which tends to open the door for parasites and abusers). OP is lucky to have gotten one of the good ones
ExtremeCowEnthusiast
Thats the intention, not the result. The result is almost always negative. Its much better to say "I care about you" and then list of specifics. Its easier to latch on to something specific than something as broad as "care"
samuelthastings5
Horse shit
gigglefitsmcgee9000
If that's what that saying is supposed to mean, then it's phrased horribly.
PeterPanGuineaPig
Yeah, it's not supposed to be phrased this way at all
RogueAvenger
That may be the "true message", but if you are someone who has a low self-worth, said person will absolutely feel more hopeless. As someone who is that way and has had this said to me multiple times, my main thought when that gets said to me is "Oh cool. Guess I'm fucked then."
PeterPanGuineaPig
I'm sorry life's handed you that kneejerk reaction. I've always struggled with self-esteem too, have walked into and tolerated such awful relationships cuz of it, but will continue to work on myself. You learn from those lessons and you truly can improve, embrace more and more of your own qualities over time... Don't give up! Start small, but consistent; you don't have to move a mountain in one day. I believe in you :)
Silent1fd
I am not sure I have ever loved myself... At 8 I was already wondering what the point of existing was, Now don't get me wrong I was overall a decently happy kid with an amazing family, but I never looked in the mirror and liked what I saw. On top of that I never really knew how to connect with people outside the (Which Dinosaur/ Superhero is your favorite?) I still can't do smalltalk. I over analyze everything and never had an (appropriate) romantic relationship. Never even held a girl's hand.
EpilatorAlligatorBothReduceGrowth
Are you autistic? If you have an eidetic memory and find connecting difficult I’d look into it.
Silent1fd
It's quite possible, it's also quite possible I have adhd and just generalized social anxiety, I never really had the funds to talk to a doctor as I have had plenty of medical bills just on the physical side of things, but I recently qualified for medicaid so it couldn't hurt to ask about it.
samuelthastings5
Oh man you've never held a gal's hand? How old are you? Not being a smart ass I'm just saying that there is nothing like holding your lady's (or fella's) hand. Is it for lack of trying? You'd be surprised how receptive people can be. I feel like you and I are similar, except I had the luxury of experiencing that. There's a partner for everyone, I believe.
samuelthastings5
Also I day how old are you not in a derogatory way, most in a way like "I didn't experience this truly until I was nearly 30"
Silent1fd
32
Silent1fd
Also it's kind of lack of trying from like 25 onward as health issues and other things made my barely leave the house, I don't really get it, girls I know say I am decently attractive (like if I am asking I would like a truthful/ helpful answer), but none of them ever seem interested at all, and as for my formative years I grew up in mormonville so most girls that I could have learned to date from "Couldn't date until they were 16" even though that seemed to only be when I was asking.
samuelthastings5
I can't relate with growing up there but I can imagine... The girls that say you're attractive, I would take their word for it. I would think the best bet would be to find some place where young people hang out (idk if u have those out there, we certainly don't here in Delaware) and make it a point to get out there and socialize. I know it seems daunting but you seem like a decent bloke. Im 32 myself, and find myself in a similar situation cuz my girl died in 2021. The key is we keep truckin
LexiconDul
Panel 1: psychobabble bullshit
justfiguredoutimc4azyanddumbb
Thanks. That's been eating at me for awhile.
tooomanystevesgotbanned
I dunno. Speaking from experience, it's definitely hard to love someone who hates themselves. That's what ruined my first engagement.
smellsmiketeenspirit
There's a fucking spectrum between hating oneself, accepting oneself, being good to oneself and loving oneself FFS.
tooomanystevesgotbanned
I'm glad someone agrees.
smellsmiketeenspirit
So glad someone called it out *AND* it's the top most comment.
Hellscourge
Anwer to panel 1:
Fuck you.
I don't need to be a perfect whole cup for anyone to love me. I can be broken, in pieces, and missing a handle, and someone will still love me. Not because I am whole and percet and usable, but for who I am DESPITE my flaws, and then they are willing to work with me to make myself whole and help me become better and love myself.
Because fuck you, you selfish prick.
IHaveGreatKittenRecipes
I've explained it to my brother as he doesn't need to love all of himself, hell, he doesn't even need to *like* all of himself, but he does need to ***know*** all of himself. The good, the bad, the ugly, the demons in the closet. Once he knows who he is he can find the person who actually fits.
NoCertaintyOnlyOpportunity
First of all, I agree that you don’t have to love yourself in order to deserve love from others. But in response to your comment, I hope you know that you also can and should love yourself despite your flaws. You can strive to change and still love who you are.
sharkhugs
Yeah. Sometimes it makes perpetually single me feel like I’m still not good enough for anyone to pick me
wagnus
I'd pick you
sharkhugs
smellsmiketeenspirit
I wrote something meaner but decided to rewrite it, here's the gentle version: be careful.
wagnus
threat acknowledged.
smellsmiketeenspirit
I meant "be careful of who you pick up" :D. I didn't mean for it to come as a threat, my apologies, I should have read what I wrote one more time ^^.
Slashenaar
Yup. While it is true we can push people away in our various darknesses, this modern idea that we must fix ourselves in isolation and then we can join society / have love is batshit insane. We are communal creatures who evolved in societies and tribes and villages. We evolved helping one another, we're not supposed to be isolated. Receiving love is one of the best ways to feel worthy of love. In fact receiving love as a child is how we are supposed to learn that we deserve that.
SoupCanMan
You have to read between the lines when someone says that. "We don't like you telling us your problem. Come back when you have stopped being autistic/a therapist has fixed your emotional baggage". It's the nicest way to tell someone to shut up, since we all figured out what "bless your heart" means.
Slashenaar
Definitely found that to be the case sometimes, but mostly I think they're well-intentioned and don't realize and think it through. I feel like we've forgotten the best way to get people to care about you is to care about others.
Daarst
I can't stand being around myself. Subjecting anyone else to that just seems like a dick move.
Slashenaar
I've been there. It's ok to not like who you are right now. Self-loathing is a learned behaviour though, and one that can be unlearned. It's a sucky shitty process to confront and unpack all that crap, but.. well it's been worth it for me.
Daarst
It's too late for me. My therapist has flat out said "I don't know how to help you"
Slashenaar
If you're giving your honest all then find a better one. Like any other profession there are some better at some things than others. It would be truly impressive to find someone actually beyond help
awildcharmander
I think the more accurate version of the phrase is "it is difficult to love others if you can't love yourself"
Colopty
Which is still highly inaccurate.
awildcharmander
I guess it depends on your definition of love. People often confuse love with other feelings, or have some warped unhealthy sense of love because of their own past traumas. You can't really have a healthy relationship if you have a bunch of internalized issues, that's what that saying means
Jaxotea
I think you'll find a lot of people don't 'love' themselves but have deep and powerful love for their friends and family. Negating that is not useful or helpful.
smellsmiketeenspirit
Codependency, here we come \o/ :D !
awildcharmander
I was thinking more in the context of personal relationships. Love for family is different and complicated because not everyone has a good family, yet they can still "love" them out of habit, obligation, or stockholm syndrome.
I'll rephrase further and say "it's difficult to have healthy relationships if you don't have enough respect and love for yourself"
Jaxotea
Tbh I'd disagree with that too. The problem with telling people that if they don't have love/respect for themselves that their other relationships are unhealthy etc is that people with depression and other MH issues can be put into a negative spiral because those relationships are one of the few good things in their lives. Relationships don't have to be perfect, like people they just need to be good enough and right for the people involved.
awildcharmander
Well, the fact that people who are in severe stages of depression might be negatively affected by hearing the thing, doesn't necessarily make the thing any less true... You're making a fair point, it's just on a separate track
eviljesus84
My friend, it's an established scientific fact, that how you feel towards yourself telepathically influences the people around you. It just isn't possible for someone to feel differently towards you, than you feel towards yourself =)
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eviljesus84
namtrohs
It's sad we live in a time where some would question this was a real sentiment and not sarcasm. I felt it was laid on thick enough it didn't need the /s tag.
WilliamWeird
It's hyperbolic sarcasm, guys.
moolapie
DOWNVOTE DOWNVOTE DOWNVOTE!!!!
tarnok
You need the /s bruv
eviljesus84
If laying it on THIS thick still requires the /s, then I weep for some of these people
tarnok
Start weeping cause the economy has changed from underneath our feet. The insane are running the asylum and one needs to be more exact in communicating their meaning
Fifofu
Obviously false. Many people hate entitled narcissistic people.
eviljesus84
It's called sarcasm, also telepathy doesn't exist
Slashenaar
I struggle with social interactions sometimes. I find the upvotes a handy guide as to how people interpreted my communications https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s_law
Jandegrote
Are you blaming others for the fact you suck at sarcasm?
AMRIV
If it helps, I picked up on the sarcasm.
ieverneon
It's only a joke if someone calls you out, though, right?
eviljesus84
Well, if people don't find the mention of telepathy an indicator of it being a joke, then I even included a handy smiley face - after that, any misunderstandings really say more about you than they do me
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eviljesus84
If I talk about 'telepathy' and add a smiley face at the end, then people not spotting the sarcasm is definitely a failing on their part