Some of my favourite green texts, Enjoy!

Mar 15, 2017 6:13 AM

Humor for edgy shitlord 12 year olds? Not funny, go back to usersub.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 5

#1 that's not how multiverse theory works

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

My favorite green text has to be the one where anon draws Dickson where's Waldo books

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That Prego one took me a few minutes, I won't lie

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#1 isn't even a clever made up 4chan story...

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Did the math on the Linkin Park one, checks out. Almost 80 days worth of time. Totally feasible. Scary shit man.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

folder[funny]

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Those are funny

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sir Bearington gets me every fucking time.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

There was a time when I found 4chan amusing. Not sure if I should be ashamed of that.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

"YOU CAN'T FLIM FLAM THE ZIM ZAM"

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

#9 I love ones like this.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You Prego humping bastard.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Pranked

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

>be me >be 31year old beta >be on imgur >love greentext >read random greentext top picks at work >find this shitlords motherload post >nice

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

>Greentexts on reddits vassal / hey atleast your name isn't Gdanskk

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

ew

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I guess obnoxious sometimes passes for funny. So good work there.

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 25

Everything is soooo edgy

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 6

None of this is funny though.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yeah. I'd tend to agree.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 98 Dislikes 3

+1 for the username reference as well

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Dear god #5

9 years ago | Likes 45 Dislikes 2

"Don't make me install Gentoo."

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I feel so bad for her every time I read it.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Tsk tsk, no Ballad of Ella.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

That is some damn cringy nerd relationship fiction, I have no idea why people lose their shit on that one.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 5

Self inserts is why

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

That's what I figured, then the same people turn around and rip on twilight (I don't care for either but the hypocrisy is amusing)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

9 years ago | Likes 282 Dislikes 0

This was a magical moment for me. Simultaneously proving some greentexts are true while also just being goddamn beautiful

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I was there. Both times i think. The second one could easily be fake.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm literally laughing so loud people in the office turns right now. "I don't like other songs." HAHA

9 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 1

Holy hell.

9 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 0

You can simply set the song "stop time" at 1, and just let the song loop for a day or two.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

he's been listening to that song for a little more than 162 days...

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Even more since this is from 10/05/14. He's most likely listened to it more since then.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

#4 You can dispose of a Koran. There are just strict rules about how.

9 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 0

yeah, i heard that you had to fast for 2 years and then sacrifice 3 camels

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 12

Facts never mattered to /pol/acks.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

What for example?

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

probably bury them with people, like how they do torah scrolls.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Burn it, bury the ashes (most common), shred small enough so no individual "sacred" words are left, or bury in a respectful place.

9 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

Use it to wipe in replace of toilet paper. (Long ass greentext reference)

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

I think one way is to bury it somewhere where no one will tread on the spot.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

How about shooting them into space? Nobody will ever step on them in space :D

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

You'd have to ask an Islamic scholar about that. They're constantly interpreting Islamic rules to fit with modern technology.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Goddamnit I met with two only today. I wish this thread happened earlier.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

30.000 plays of In The End actually isn't that much if he forgot to turn it off. It's less than 14 days.

9 years ago | Likes 84 Dislikes 8

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Mar 15, 2017 4:21 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

I fucked up, ma.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

All I thought was those are rookie numbers you need to get them up

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

not the case though

9 years ago | Likes 69 Dislikes 2

In the end, it doesn't even matter...

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Itunes used to fuck those numbers up tho. I had songs in my list that had double or triple those digits. Noway i listened to them that much.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Ikr! Firefox does the same thing with internet history views. Porn everywhere, when ive only been to Mother Teresa . Com

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

No, he just likes the song

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I like to listen to same song when i'm drawing. It helps to "stay at topic" and prevents falling into different moods.

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Sleep - Dopesmoker?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

i do the same when i code, it's not that uncommon.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

omg my head would explode

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Funny thing is that the person replied in the thread and linked a pick of his iTunes as proof. But his reply is sadly missing.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah, it was up to 40k+ by this point.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

60k

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0