Oyyou
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Aug 6, 2020 9:31 AM
Oyyou
135858
4159
87
VardtheBard
A woman who rarely goes out, went out with someone she seemed a friend and had too much. Its is not a bad choice or something to atone for.
FriendlyNeighborhoodGrammarPerson
"I know things about you" might just mean the wife vented about stuff they have trouble with in their marriage. Most wives do that.
Manfredsinginson
My gf got roofied. Went for a drink a block away, and managed to text "help me" a few hours later. She was a mess when I went to get her.
nigelstanfordfan237
Call the police and report them as predators, they may be doing the same thing to other women.
Nexus763
"It's not your against her, it's both of you together against the problem."
Datmemeboii
100% of comments: Roofied
Prowler2142
Its also entirely possible she took other drugs and with a combination of alcohal had a bad reaction. The situation says roofie tho.
BadAngelorGoodAngel
So.... where’s the Truck? I need to know.
ZombieZooZombieZoo
I'm not saying this didn't happen, but anytime there's tough guy talk, I always raise an eyebrow
asmallcat
It 100% didn't happen. That whole sub is r/thathappened. Like the recent taco bell office one.
SorryIamnotsorry
As an Italian it sounds very Italian.
PhurbuMukpodom
As a Hispanic-Italian, dude had a very measured response. My brother would have been calling me from jail.
loma45
It's odd for sure. So they "roofie" her drink, get all predatory, then... bring her home? To get a Roku?
NonstopRampage
Scopolamine. You can get a guy to clean out his own apartment with you, then wake up outside with no memory the next day.
PTKrieg
A few other people have suggested they were looking to rob her, and "Roku binge" was the excuse they came up with when the husband was up.
superfeathers
But what happened to the truck?
asmallcat
Nothing. This is fake.
bikergeek6249
Probably still parked at the bar.
Imalwaysready
Roofied.
TheTinyWolf
*slaps roof of truck* this bad boy can fit so much roku in it
jaderock
Still at the bar/restaurant
CallsignFatNinja
Dude! Where's my truck?
Dieminion3
Where's your truck dude?
CallsignFatNinja
Truck, your dude where?
Khotari
He said in the actual reddit post it was still at the pub
FelixTheAnimator
He's def jumping to the wrong conclusions about his wife, but he's probably never been taught that could happen either.
anengineerandacat
Wife is lucky the stupid bitch wanted the ROKU to watch Netflix, else that night would of been 10x worse come the morning.
probablyshouldbedoingwork
Someone mentioned it in the above reddit comments but it sounds like the Roku was a last ditch excuse by her to get home "let's get my roku"
detectivekagami
This actually hadn't occurred to me but you may be right. Like let's watcha movie? Ya cool I have a roku, let's go get it (the rest black)
SamPound1
My friend and I were roofied with xaxax crushed in jello shots. I got robbed and he fell threw a sliding glass door and needed surgery. Fuck
SamPound1
People who do that. Even if its not demented sexual predator, you can still really mess up people's lives
evilspock
Maybe roofied, but misty and crew are definitely townie trash. Making friends then "borrow your roku" means someone lives in a garage.
natachan
I feel for the wife if she's legit she's probably worried she got raped and didn't know about it, nvm being accused of cheating by her man
MaryGoRound12
And he immediately threw an ultimatum of drop her or move out. he’s not the bad guy in this situation but I’d hope he’d be more on her side
ShadusMacAoidh
He probably lacks the culture to understand how this came to be, having never been exposed to it before. This is why the response post is so
ShadusMacAoidh
important. It's a 'hey, buddy... you don't know, but here's why your wife didn't create this situation... so maybe now you should feel a
ShadusMacAoidh
little sheepish and go make things right with her... she needs you' moment.
Feralkyn
Bro yeah she probably got roofied but that dude should be expressing CONCERN not saying shit like "move out or drop the friend" etc, like,
Feralkyn
that IS asshole abusive behavior... I can see why they thought that. No, you wouldn't let a loved one fuck off out of their mind drunk, but
Feralkyn
once they're sober their decisions are their own. Wtf.
Icegoatyu
I was sure this was going to end in a joke about the truck or soemthing
munchmunchmunch
Dude seemed genuinely worried but he has some serious issues that muddled the situation which are counterproductive. Blame and ultimatums
Jattetont
He doesn't sound that genuinely worried for her welfare to me. He sounds suspicious that she's not telling the full story, and cheated.
Feralkyn
He sounds like a cunt, yeah
munchmunchmunch
Well yes, I agree which is why the whole situation was made much more complicated by his reaction. I hope* he was a bit worried.
Jattetont
Yes, let's hope.
rollerskateorgies
2 red flags for me were that he was "totally cool" with her going for drinks with a friend (as in, did she need his permission?) and then
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rollerskateorgies
Yes, not likely to press charges if they rufied her, but the husband didn't know that. Technically neither do we. And someone talking shit
rollerskateorgies
assaulting a stranger. Don't get me wrong, this sounds like he stopped a rape, but he didn't know that for #1 or really #2 and he could
rollerskateorgies
definely see charges from this. Keep cool next time, don't assault people unprovoked. Also, who owns a Roku???
munchmunchmunch
are not an appropriate immediate response in a healthy relationship.
Feralkyn
Exactly this
munchmunchmunch
His wife needs to be more careful for sure but dead lord she was clearly beyond consent at a certain point.
DeltaLaw
Yeah I see both sides on this one. He did react with aggression. But circumstances led him there and if he hadn't, she would have been raped
Feralkyn
Yeah but the next day? "Drop the friends or move out" like wat? Bruh once she's sober it's her decision, and I'd be concerned about that-
Feralkyn
marriage too.
munchmunchmunch
His aggression towards the people trying to take her away was super necessary but threats of her moving out the next day were not.
rollerskateorgies
I don't think the choke hold was necessary. Nowhere did he say the guy was actually acting on his shit talk.
PunchyFromCleveland
100% agree, it’s not a proportionate response. My husband would never say that, he’d be more worried about me and what happened to me.
MegaIlluminati
If ever those fake nails are acceptable, then it is to test for roofies.
ThisDudeIsImpressed
How do you test for roofies with fake nails? Sounds like a life hack everyone should know.
PTKrieg
There was a thing being prototyped where it was nail polish with chemicals that reacted to spiked drinks. It didn't reach production,though.
ChrisWsrn
Those nails were a concept that did not work. There is a company that makes single use tests though https://www.undercovercolors.com/
ThisIsTheBestICanDo
Single use could still work. Glue-on nails. Use a different finger per drink. Remove nails in the morning.
ExternalBoysenberry
what?
Titusmaul
Some (I think teenagers) invented a fake nail that tests drinks for drugs.
FlyingGiantElk
People have made fake nails, which change colour when exposed to drugs. Stir your drink, blue to pink, get something else to drink.
FlyingGiantElk
Disclaimer: I don’t know the actual colours but the rhyme would help.
MegaIlluminati
There are some nails/nail polish available where you can stir your finger and it will change color if drink is spiked.
eyekunt
Tell me more
chefsoda
It was a concept that went viral. They never got it to work, manufactured, or sold them.
chefsoda
It's a half fake story where 3 teens thought up fake nails to test for spiked drinks. Never actually created or sold them, but went viral
BanderasForScale
My roommate freshman year got roofied, definitely sounds like she got roofied.
BananaForScaIe
It's a terrifying thing. With booze you have sorta images, out of sequence, blurry or whatever. Roofies, you're OUT... then a few hours later you're BACK. Literally no memory of anything (for me at least).
Monka42
My drunk friend gave directions to her date how to get to her house, ended up at mine. He walks her to the door sober...I took her in and
Monka42
Kicked his ass to the curb. She told me the next morning she didn't know where she was going and couldn't remember her own house.
Shismouche
Hero ! You did right.
awesomespeler
Never trust a Misty
FrankPembleton
if she has any other friends they are named crystal and keisha or something with eisha
WarlockSniper
She has been badgering poor Ash for over a decade and a half for her damned bike. Harassment if I ever saw it.
ArtSparkle
As someone who has been roofied before... she was totally roofied
edenknitty
Got roofied because I wasn't watching because I was "with friends" nothing happened thank goodness but it def sounds like she got roofied.
Mother0fCats
I had only had a couple of shots and then I acted like this. I always thought I was drugged but never knew for sure. Thanksfor clarification
kakari
Unless the shots were 151, that can have you way drunker than you thought possible with so little volume.
Mother0fCats
I knew I could handle a few shots without blackong out. It was UV blue
mike13815
You think you've been roofied, step 1 is get tested for it. Even if you have no evidence/were unharmed, your positive test can help others.
lentimlen6
Alas, generally GHB is used instead of rohypnol, and that's quite hard to detect. You need to have a hair sample analysed one month after
lentimlen6
Even if a blood test was negative ...
tzap
As someone who has roofied himself several times over with various combinations, I'd say that she was roofied or she drank way more than 2.
signedyourbiggestfanstan
That’s really smart! Build up your tolerance so you’ll never have to worry about it again.
burlyqlady
Bro they're referring to rohypnol or ghb or other date rape drugs. Not a cocktail of fun time drugs. Though ghb was used recreationally once
tzap
Still is used recreationally.
zebulorg
Scheiterhaufen
People use it as a recreational drug.
zebulorg
I guess I don't see how the effects would be desirable as opposed to something like weed or cocaine.
burlyqlady
It was a 90s rave club kid scene thing I'm told. Idk
AlphaVirus2g
Story time?
tzap
Just meant that I've often drank in high excess; combined weed and even benzos with alcohol; and been a general rascal.
Ihatedecidingonausername
That's all a roofie is
tzap
Some high potency weed or a few diazepams with a bunch of drinks pretty much guarantee a blackout.
WeHavePi
Ahhh, the memories... Or the lack thereof...
beezzarro
Weird ultimatum: lose the friend or move out. Especially after having described being happily together so long and having kids. Guys sounds»
carlsagansghost
100%. Dude is abusive and this is what his wife told Misty.
beezzarro
a bit aggressive.
PINEAPPLELEMONADE
I was thinking roofies as soon as he started describing her state. I think you let your guard down at a certain age but really shouldn’t.
PINEAPPLELEMONADE
Plus “friend” is total nut job which sucks because it’s hard to make good friends when your older too
ComcastLover
I was roofied once. It's not a pleasant experience.
Irax
That's scary. I've had my share of parties and yet could never have guessed about the roofies. Symptoms like that needs to be wider known!
Assassine
Having read that RA thread, I was thinking the same until I saw the guys comments in the post. Now I'm not so sure if it isn't the guy 1/2
Assassine
changing the story to seek validation, when wasn't half as bad and he was actually being a controlling asshole. His comments give bad vibes.
Dalael
My sister got roofied once. Had to bring her home, she fell out if tge car as soon as i opened the door. Had to half carry het inside.
dasklaus
Statistically, your risk of sexual violence drops fast the older you get (never to zero obviously). 14-24 most dangerous years.
EvilCatCreations
Can confirm it was extremely likely that she was roofied by the sounds of her condition thank God they stopped at her home. Scary stuff ☹
JrHunting
Not upvoting you bc you're at 666pts and I don't want to spoil the magic, but you're 100% correct. Good advice
multiMemeMenagerie
Honestly I thought the guy was a bit sense for not working that out right away
spratacuss
I thought his wife was 38 feet and he was 40 meters
RoyBattysDove
I’m a guy and was roofied on accident. Chatting with a girl at a bar, we both ordered margaritas but didn’t pick them up immediately....
RoyBattysDove
We eventually take them, she grabs the one closets to me, I take the other. I noticed a few dudes hovering around us so we go outside...
RoyBattysDove
Within 30 mins I start feeling awful. I tell my friend to watch out for the girl, I have to leave. Ordered a Lyft. Next thing I know...
RoyBattysDove
The Lyft driver is shaking me awake at my house. Room mate said I slept on the couch for about 12 hours that night....
RoyBattysDove
Reading the description of the wife I thought roofies as well, sounds like Misty may have been in on it though.
Ffleance
Mom got roofie'd at a county fair when she was in her 50s. Keep your guard up everyone!
TeachingClayGuy
Same, I was roofied once, I think they meant to get my gf, its a crazy experience.
timetimetimeago
Why come back to the house if misty just wanted to take advantage of the woman? It has no sense
eyekunt
They wanted to get the thing! Didn't you read?
Emracruel
It is possible misty wasn't exactly complicit in the roofieing, or she was just super drunk
Runner55
Some people are way fucking dumber than normal people could ever understand.
MoreCatnipPleaseSir
My 50 year old dad got roofied earlier this year. Went to watch a band play, one drink, cracked his skull on the pavement. Always be alert.
xTRIFORCEx3
I agree my mom got roofied in key west on her 45th birthday. She was so fucked up we thought her sugars were too high (type 1 diabetic)
pendy923
I hope as a Type 1 she wasn’t drinking to begin with.
xTRIFORCEx3
She tends to do things she’s not supposed to
xTRIFORCEx3
She went to the hospital after passing out on the sidewalk and hitting her head to find out it was just because of that.
blurPilot
What’s a “roofie”?
KPopGirlKimi
Its a date rape drug you put in drinks so the other person blacks out and doesnt remember being raped
ThePastmaster
Yeah. I know a couple in their late 40's and the husband got roofied while they were on holiday. I'm 100% sure someone was after his wife.
munchmunchmunch
This isn’t uncommon in other countries. Get the guy away from the girl. Super effective.
ThePastmaster
Nah, he likes "girly" drinks and she likes "manly" drinks. She was scared shitless while he was tripping out.
munchmunchmunch
When I studied abroad, a bunch of my guy friends were roofied. Whoever did it wanted to get the guys away from us girls. It was terrifying
ThePastmaster
Can imagine. Such nasty people that live among us. In this specific case though I think it was an accidental exposure.
jmmoore6535772
Ugh that’s sickening
EngineerforPresident
I’m so glad that “going out” has never been my idea of fun. I absolutely would have been properly drugged and raped at some point
EvilCatCreations
It used to be mine until I had a traumatic experience of my own. I was a bartender at the time and loved partying. I'm the opposite now
bakminn360
How do you draw that conclusion? Kind of out there.
EvilCatCreations
Because when you're a woman it's pretty much guaranteed unless you're vigilant or have very good friends. It's very common.
bakminn360
I go out A LOT. That's never happened to me. You seem to think it's 100% guaranteed.
EvilCatCreations
I didn't say 100%, but I am a woman who used to be a bartender and I saw men constantly trying to do it to women. Called the cops a lot
EngineerforPresident
Well, I had a reeeeeally safe childhood and still ended up raped because of the society we live in. After the last decade of learning more >
EngineerforPresident
About everyone around me, and the general consensus that most women have had this kind of issue, it’s a pretty clear conclusion to draw.
sehven
I've never understood the appeal of "going out" but then I'm a hardcore introvert.
EvilCatCreations
I've always been too but I had some years of youth I felt social and worked as a bartender for a decade as well. I do not miss it at all
Runner55
I liked it at one point as it made me less of an introvert. Now I just get super tired after 1 beer, don't want alcohol in the house anymore
makeSX
Same and I'm Finnish so.. I dont like people, I like to drink >40% alcohol alone, or if someone else is paying. Closest co-workers are ok.
EngineerforPresident
I always thought I was an introvert because I preferred being at home. Turns out I’m just an outgoing homebody.
bakminn360
Interaction and enjoyment of people.
makeSX
? Enjoyment of people? Watching drunk people? Hearing them say stupid things over and over again like they have brain damage?
bakminn360
Not everyone is like that. That's an extreme generalization.
sehven
ButterfaceTaintClown
why roofies? it's possible to get this trashed just doing shots. why roofie her, then make a stop off at her husbands? alcohol mixed with (1
EvilCatCreations
Why roofies? Who knows, because it's a cheaper guarantee? Why do people do this sort of foul thing in the first place? People are fucked.
WhatallWhatnot
Pretty sure they were stupid as fuck and trying to steal her TV before they raled her
RhyneCordle
This^ apparently no ones ever seen someone drink one too many
Kingbackwards
Roofies can look like too much to drink early on. Blackmail, rape, and other nefarious activities are easier with a person who can't resist.
ButterfaceTaintClown
yeah, but there's literally nothing to suggest roofies in this story.
Kingbackwards
Glad you don't have experience seeing the things suggesting roofies. There's a lot there and plenty of other comments explain this better.
ButterfaceTaintClown
stupidity easily accounts for everything in this scene. I would have taken my wife inside, looked after her, nursed her through her (2
Kingbackwards
The key is, the wife saying she only remembers a "couple" drinks. They'd been together for 15 years, he should know if she's lying by now.
PorneliusHubertII
Maybe it could have somethimg to do with how the alcohol was consumed or a weak tolerance to certain drinks? I have seen women get trashed
PorneliusHubertII
On "a few" drinks. I say this as the person that was usuallg responsible for keeping an eye on the girls in the group.
ButterfaceTaintClown
hangover. I wouldn't waste my time arguing with Misty (the clue is in the name) or the random douchebags. wife is priority. everything (3
ButterfaceTaintClown
else can wait. (4
PuppyDontCare
He's a dick and maybe (I'm speculating) she used the classical "I can't remember I was too drunk" when confronted.
EngineerforPresident
Thank you for being a caring, supportive, loving spouse. It isn’t always easy, because spouses have their own feelings, but support is key
VardtheBard
This husband is extremely domineering though, giving ultimatums and making her give up her job. From the outside it would look like a toxic
Feralkyn
Yeah. Not "oh man I was worried" but "I BET SHE WAS CHEATING" too.
VardtheBard
Relationship. If told to Misty over drinks, could easily be over exaggerated.
ThePunishersVengefulBrother
"I could see the fear in his eyes" is a fantasy trope, so yeah. I agree with you.
stondeed
This was exactly my thoughts. Why would they come to the house and introduce themselves if they were just going to do horrible things to her
abraxa
Maybe they didn't expect the husband to be home and wanted to rob the home.
VardtheBard
But she would have told them
abraxa
No, because she had no recollection of the events that took place that night, as she herself expressed to the husband the next day.
Preincarnated
100% disagree IF the situation is accurate. he let her have her freedom, take the car, go get drinks with an unknown girlfriend all night. >
Preincarnated
Seems not to have a problem with it until she shows up late, having been uncommunicative, and in a vulnerable position. And if she really >
rollerskateorgies
Except he made sure to note that he was "totally okay with her going out with a friend" as if there should ever be a question at that point.
Preincarnated
was as shocked by her own behavior on the video as he claims, the ultimatum angle was probably a lot more mutual than his wording implies.
Preincarnated
He doesn't seem to have suspected roofies, but clearly, as someone who's known someone intimately for decades, he knew something was off.
abraxa
Yup, which made him suspect her for not being in control of herself when being out alone. He jumped to conclusions of her cheating when out.
arewenotkingsandqueenstogether
The fact that you think it's kind of him to "let her" go out is telling.
zAllLucky7s
You’re clearly not married. It’s not about ownership. It’s about equal duty to each other and respect for your roles as husband and wife 1/2
Preincarnated
Yep. We have kids and jobs and, you know, basic communication. It's not at all about letting, but you also don't wander off until midnight >
Preincarnated
without checking in with your partner if that's an OK thing to do in a healthy relationship. She seems to have said "can you watch the kids>
zAllLucky7s
You compromise & you respect each other but you do have a right to make decisions with & for each other. My wife “let’s” me 2/2
zAllLucky7s
go out friends alone, as I also “let” her go out alone, because the decision is always a joint one made together. That’s marriage. 2/3
sunnymangoes
"let her have her freedom".... Yikes. You realise she's a grown woman who doesn't need her husband's permission to have a drink w/ a friend?
Imalwaysready
Jesus Christ. Stop acting like vocabulary Sherlock Holmes and twisting words around. You are clearly someone looking for sinister intent. >
Imalwaysready
And yeah, actually, in a healthy, functioning relationship, you DO kinda ask your spouse--husband OR wife--if it's OK if you go out before >
Imalwaysready
you do it. Especially if the other one has to watch kids or you're going to be out later than usual. Etc. It's not about "letting" anyone >
VardtheBard
language is quite important. It shapes thoughts & mindsets. By being mindful of it, you'd be surprised by the impact esp. Self talk
Imalwaysready
Course it matters. That still doesn't mean you get to read sinister intent into every colloquial turn of a phrase as if its all secret code.
Kalosso
What does "roofied" mean? Comment section is full of the therm but i never read or heard about it before.
yzmotoxer807
Watch the movie, The Hangover. All will be revealed.
bikergeek6249
she was drugged with something like Rohypnol or GHB without her knowledge or consent
Jattetont
"Roofie" is slang for rohypnol, a "date rape drug" that gets people extremely intoxicated, often unable to consent or resist, with amnesia.
shankycat
Roofie is slang for the benzo drug Rohypnol a.k.a. "the date rape drug",high dose makes you loopy, pass out quickly and forget what happened
NPaine
Feralkyn
To add to what others are saying--never, esp. if you're a woman, drink a drink you have in public if you didn't have eyes on it 100% of the-
Feralkyn
time. A guy can slip stuff into a drink in 2 secs of looking away and then you'll wake up somewhere with no idea what happened.
Preincarnated
As others have said, roofies are drugs, typically sneaked into you without your consent in food or drink, that cause memory loss, altered >
Preincarnated
mental states, blackouts, and unconsciousness. It looks very much to an outsider like being really drunk. Rapists use it to create >
Preincarnated
"compliant" victims that have a low chance of even remembering the encounter accurately after the fact. Someone may say the person looks >
Preincarnated
dazed and the rapist just goes "my girlfriend had one too many, I'm taking her home" & the victim is usually too out of it to ask for help.
beepinboopin
Roofie refers to the drug commonly used to date rape people.
Rathner
Roofies refer to drugs that predators use to date rape. Such drugs usually cause loss of memory, bad decision making, lack of awareness and
Rathner
Other shit you don't want to happen to yourself.
PickleWatcher
Roofie, also known as the date rape drug. It makes the victim drowsy and disoriented so they cant fight back.
thatguythatdidthatthingthattime
She for sure got roofied. That said, he went to violence pretty fast, and immediate threats of divorce? He is also a controlling ass.
dankmemeduck
If some dude was talking about kicking my ass and trying to take my vulnerable wife somewhere I would have done worse
Preincarnated
Right? This guy did NOT "got to violence pretty fast." He was worried about his uncommunicative wife who was hours late getting home, then >
Feralkyn
He/she means later, at home, when the husband's still thinking she's lying and threatening with immediate separation instead of showing-
Feralkyn
concern. It's incredibly controlling and selfish behavior
Preincarnated
No, it's really not. And you also have literally zero idea how the conversation actually played out compare to how he worded it here
Preincarnated
shows up in a vulnerable condition (roofies or drunk) and a strange guy saying both a) you don't own her and you should let her come with >
Preincarnated
me to an unknown location and b) threatening to kick HIS ass first, and when this guy reacts with clear force to get his wife away from >
Preincarnated
this situation and make it clear the others need to get off his property immediately, he "got violent too fast?"
Feralkyn
I think they mean afterward. "X or move out" instead of any fucking concern.
somedudeyoumightknow
That sounds more like "either live that lifestyle or live with me" kind of situation. Which is a fair line to draw for a relationship.
Feralkyn
If it was an ongoing thing and other solutions had been tried? Sure. But it happened once and she herself was horrified. Like wtf? Who does
Feralkyn
that as a FIRST response?
apfelstrudelmakesmehappy
This is an awful situation and the wife has made some bad choices. This guy sounds like a big ol' red flag though.
parasztarcal
It's been pushed for years that someone drunk can't consent, so just based on that this was the perfect time to step in and get protective.
apfelstrudelmakesmehappy
To get protective yes, 100%. But to then threaten his wife with an ultimatum of leaving her 'friend' or kicking her out of her home? No.
VardtheBard
Agree, the husband sounds very domineering.
munchmunchmunch
I agree
Cole2999
Only bad choice the wife made was not watching her drink
Jattetont
Yeah, if this story is true, I feel very sorry for that wife, stuck between a guy who by his own telling IS a violent controlling asshole, >
Jattetont
> and some shitty "friend" who probably roofied her.
Skawomplious
I don't agree. A woman he loves was clearly being taken advantage of. It's his job to be mad about that.
PuppyDontCare
"It's his job" WTF are you a caveman? It's his job to be supportive and worried, not to protect her and deffinitely not to threaten her
pooploops83
He gave her an ultimatum the next morning after yelling at her as soon as she woke up. You are very wrong about how you deserve to be loved
VardtheBard
Mad at them, not punish her
WitzyDitzy
But he's mad AT his wife. It sounds like he blames his wife far more than the people taking advantage of her.
Preincarnated
We don't know that. From his perspective she went out and made these stupid choices. But he never seemed to consider roofies. Maybe after >
Preincarnated
reading the reply included here he is realizing that she may have been an unwitting, non-consenting victim. Maybe he just needed outside >
Preincarnated
opinions & has changed his perspective b/c he's been lucky to live in a world where that wasn't common or the first thing that comes to mind
Feralkyn
Afterward, not that night. That night I'd be pissed. The next day he should be concerned, not delivering ultimatums and blame. Wtf.
tzap
He also told his wife to immediately drop the friendship with Misty or move out. Which is a bit extreme, isn't it?
Preincarnated
Not in the least, IF the story told here is true.
tzap
The story being true doesn't, from my perspective, make it more OK to threaten to kick your wife out. That's not meeting the situation with
tzap
.. sympathy for her. That's meeting the situation with a selfish motivation - the fear of losing your wife to Misty.
tzap
It also reveals a mindset where the husband thinks its his house, his rules, so on. Not their house, their rules, their choices together.
Tomyris
Yeah, seriously who threatens a spouse with separation so callously?? Especially after 15 years and 2 kids.
Imalwaysready
No, it's not. Not in this situation and if this is true.
itsthehair
How is that extreme? Misty trying to get this dude's wife a triple stack after she was drugged/drunk af. Fuck that friendship
tzap
He didn't know Misty's side, he didn't even fully trust his wife's story. You're just assuming that Misty was working with nefarious motifs.
itsthehair
Right, not nefarious at all.. 3 dudes..leading a disoriented wife away from home, threatening violence. Misty is an everyday sweety.
md22mdrx
Wife roofied. Misty putting wife in danger. If she can’t see that or worse ...WANTS that in her life ...then move the fuck out. Not extreme.
tzap
a) don't know if that was actually the case b) don't know what Misty's motivations were c) don't know if Misty would do that again, ...
tzap
d) don't know if wife would fall into it again. Additionally, they've been together since teens, yet the husband can decide that she has ..
Preincarnated
Not extreme in the least. Especially not with kids in the house. though I suspect most of this "controlling" crap is his bad wording. IF >
Preincarnated
she really was as apalled by her own behavior on camera as he claims, any "you really have to end this friendship" conversation was probably
bChrispy
I always love to read these relationship advices. It's always people jumping to conclusions like it's a pole vaulting contest haha
PuppyDontCare
I'm sorry Mr Interesting life. I've been in my pijamas for 4 months and this is the most interesting thing i'll do all day haha
GeneralWho
It's entirely possible it went down exactly as the husband's described. It's also possible the wife has been feeling super controlled by the
disagreeable
It’s also possible they reside on a planet from another galaxy. It’s a Reddit post. Either you take it at face value or ignore it. IMO
GeneralWho
Definitely. This is more for the terrible advice givers in the comments who take it way too seriously and are freaking out. :)
disagreeable
Hahaha yea. Fair enough.
GeneralWho
husband (taking jobs to get out of the house and feel like she has a life apart from him) met someone she really clicks with, had a blast,
gadaboutpoet
Was thinking the same. Everyone sounds off in this, incl. the husband, who sounds controlling. A bit from column A, a bit from column B
Preincarnated
Wait, wait...taking a job "outside the house" is evidence of having felt trapped in a controlling marriage?
GeneralWho
Not on its own, not at all. There's no evidence of anything one way or the other. That's my point; we've got one side and I'm providing
GeneralWho
another possibility. Wife takes job for more money (potentially that she doesn't have to run by him) & to get out of the house (his words)
GeneralWho
is a lightweight, drank too much, agrees to hang out more with Misty & co, comes home, husband comes out pissed, tells them MY WIFE (which
GeneralWho
he did) grabs wife a little forcefully, guys protest what they see, then husband gets even more pissed and threatens guys, wife cowers to
GeneralWho
avoid further control and abuse, Misty actually does care about wife and the shit she "knows" is the abuse husband inflicts. You can easily
tzap
Tbh the husband sounds a bit weird, too. He threatened to divorce if his wife didn't immediately drop her friendship without really giving
ImabouttogoTRexonthesenuggets
If she still would want to be her friend that means she will potentially put herself in that situation again I'd also divorce her.
LurkerSince2015
Totally lends credibility to the accusations of being controlling
Earlkay
Honestly I read this as him being abusive.
CoarseAndSalty
Yeah, wife is 45 minutes late and he's freakin. feels he needs to explain that he's the breadwinner, first thing her friend says is "You
CoarseAndSalty
don't own her" just a lot of red flags all at once there. Misty may not be a saint in this but there's a lot of messed up stuff going on.
Shismouche
Fear and will to not have another situation where she had 99% chance to be gangraped. Understandable.
FlatPlutoSociety
If your wife has obviously just been through something she doesn't remember or understand, that's cause for sympathy and concern, not anger.
ILInfiltrator
This so much
RaisinZetaJones
"Obviously ... doesn't remember" is a stretch. Claims to not remember, and he's not sure if she honestly doesn't remember or is lying.
Seigeengine
By his account she was severely intoxicated. Memory loss is an extremely common result. There's no reason to doubt her except paranoia.
RaisinZetaJones
Uh-huh. And what's your point?
Seigeengine
Lol, you're not even trying, are you?
RaisinZetaJones
I'm going to say that's a fairly normal reaction for a husband, a wife, a parent, a child, a friend. She doesn't know what's going on, but
RaisinZetaJones
neither does he. The fact that you think the guy should immediately have a grip is oddly misogynistic, like men are so strong and rational
RaisinZetaJones
that *THEY* can immediately understand a situation they weren't even involved in. Give me a break.
Seigeengine
LOL @ you trying to call realizing your drugged potential gang-rape victim wife probably isn't the bad guy misogynistic.
tzap
Yeah, exactly ^
alisa2089
RaisinZetaJones
Uh, yup. If that's not their lifestyle, that's fair game. Love isn't unconditional between spouses. If I marry a woman and one day I'm sober
RaisinZetaJones
and the next day I come home with a heroin needle hanging out of my arm and my wife tells me drop the junk or drop her, that's her ticket.
Seigeengine
Except those aren't analogous in the slightest. 10/10 trying to diminish a drugging and attempted gang rape though.
RaisinZetaJones
Not even close, and of course a toxic friend is highly analogous to a toxic habit. But you can't address that, so nice straw man.
RaisinZetaJones
The situation is toxic to the point of being absurd and the guy (*ANYBODY*, really) has the absolute right to enforce their boundaries.
Seigeengine
"How dare you be a victim of drugging and potential rape/trafficking?!?!?! I WANT A DIVORCE!" grow up, dude.
RaisinZetaJones
Yes yes, here you go again with your disgusting misogyny. The man knows she was drugged and potentially raped and trafficked while the woman
rollerskateorgies
That's a straw man if I ever heard one. Drunk and potentially rufied VS taking heroine??
RaisinZetaJones
Getting rid of a toxic friend vs. getting rid of a toxic habit. But you know that and, of course, are strawmanning my argument to project.
Feralkyn
Getting roofied isn't the same thing as being a heroin addict, and even SO that's when she says get help.
RaisinZetaJones
The roofie isn't the problem, the friend is; that's what he told her to drop. Stop playing dumb like you think we were talking about roofies
Seigeengine
What? Someone who was just victimized and confronted with evidence of it doesn't immediately come to the same conclusion as you?
Feralkyn
"Playing dumb?" The fuck are you talking about? What rollerskateorgies said is right; you express concern you don't deliver ultimatums, not-
rollerskateorgies
And "this woman isn't your friend and potentially hurt you" is concern. "or move out" is not.
KevinJames6
This guy is a creep. I understand he was trying to protect her but his reaction shows this is much more about him being in control.
ImabouttogoTRexonthesenuggets
If she is like that w his wife what harm could she bring to the kids should they maintain their friendship
StuckInBetweeen
So you'd let your obviously fucked up wife get in a car with a bunch of guys and drive away. Damn son.
tzap
It's more about the aftermath.
StuckInBetweeen
Idk id face the aftermath to prevent my wife from getting raped but I guess other guys would be okay with that. Different priorities
tzap
That's not what I meant.. I meant their discussion in the morning after. He seems very aggressive in it.
ImabouttogoTRexonthesenuggets
I disagree. Misty could see his wife was messed up and she thought it was okay to bring her to Netflix and chill w 3 random dudes.
tzap
But that doesn't really justify raging to her wife in the morning about it being "complete bullshit" and threatening to divorce if she ..
tzap
.. doesn't end her friendship.
tzap
.. much of a chance for any other approach. Does sound a bit control-freakish. Whole situation sounds weird on all sides.
RoastedSalted
He also says she didn't initially believe what had happened, so maybe it came to that before she saw the proof.
sunnymangoes
And why the completely superfluous and unnecessary mention of his good job and nice car?! I get a weird vibe from him honestly
WesVTX
I'm sorry... a friend that enables another person in that state is no friend. A bit of separation & perspective seems reasonable.
tzap
Well, if I was thinking that it was my wife in this, I really don't feel like it's up to me to decide who her friends are or that we would
tzap
.. divorce because she has a haphazard friend. Think of yourself in this situation. Two scenarios: One, either you actually drank a lot ..
tzap
.. more than you claimed you did and was pushing it together with your friend. Or another scenario: You got roofied and your friend ..
bekind2joeblake
Yeah, he sounds intense. Grabbed the dude by the neck? Who does that?
Seigeengine
That literally has nothing to do with what's wrong with his behaviour.
crisscross98
I would have done the same honestly.
AnAccountToPostThis
Sounds like he was in fight or flight mode by that point because he was protecting his wife. Maybe thought theyd kidnap her.
YurgenGrimwood
A person who just had his wife come home trashed, people trying to drag her back with them and then threatens to beat him up?
tzap
Well, I'm totally like not an example of the average person, but I'd honestly probably be pretty amused by the whole situation.
RaisinZetaJones
You agreed with a comment that said his wife didn't "remember or understand" as "cause for sympathy and concern" and you find that amusing?
YurgenGrimwood
I found it a bit weird how he was talking to his wife afterwards. I'd be more worried for her than anything. Maybe her behaviour was off.
rollerskateorgies
Idiot was shit talking and sitting in a car. If he got out and advanced on the husband, sure, but in this case the husband can be charged
rollerskateorgies
with assault. The only reason they're not pressing charges is probably because some fucked up shit goes on at these little "parties"
YurgenGrimwood
I doubt much would go anywhere, there's no way to prove anything happened unless he literally left strangle marks.