notmyrealnameomg
222972
6705
396
Living with a depressed father who has nothing to do but whine about his life. No responsibilities, no love, no worries for his family. Do anything, literally anything and it's automatically against him. Try to calm him down, "Don't show fake love". Get angry at him, "You are doing this to me because I don't earn or I don't have money." Every sentence coming out of his mouth is sprinkled with a lie. He defames us saying we are not good with him.
Lies everywhere about having Heart blockage, Cancer and when we tell him let's get checked up, says "I don't want to go anywhere I want to die and not be a burdon on the family with treatment costs", but in reality he has been lying about his health since 25 years of marriage with my mother! I will say he has had some health issues 15 years ago which led him to lose job and from good salary to almost nothing, but it's over now and he is healthy.
With this shit he makes excuses of living the way he wants. He sits in house half naked. I and my younger brother have seen his genitals 1000s of times, but if we ask him to at least behave properly he will argue that we are doing this to him because he can't feed is properly! He talks about suicide, makes suicidal posts on internet (since 10 years don't worry) and we are tired of this.
tl;dr: Depressed father is a pain in the ass and has excuses for everything. We are still going to (have to) live with him. This all is making us wanting to kill ourselves.
It's 1 am, didn't have anyone to share this with. Here you go, needed to get this of my chest.
ImprovedLoungewear
Some people lead by example of what not to do. Take what you've learned and live a great life OP!
BoredCreep
That doesn't sound like depression, sounds like a narcissistic personality disorder. Don't believe his lies.
deoxy0
He sounds like a narcissist
GreeneyedDevil013
He may have issues, but it ain't depression...he's seeking attention.
PreciousPotato
He might ALSO have depression, but the main problem here is that he's an emotionally abusive toxic egotist.
circlebreaker
who also abhors pants for some reason...
voulge
Came here expecting someone who is trying their best to support a very sad human, turns out they might be getting abused themselves o.o
MurrToTheMurr
That doesnt sound like the typical depression at all. More like som personality disorder. Megalomania, EIPD, narcissism i dunno.
[deleted]
[deleted]
MurrToTheMurr
Mmmm, more like manipulation, which is a big part of all the personality disorders i mentioned.
FireElemental
Sounds like a Narcissistic spectrum disorder, like Borderline Personality Disorder.
Snakesz
Yooo, narcissism isn't the same as borderline.
FireElemental
It was the last time I read the damn literature. Dammit.
kee413
I'm depressed. Your dad sounds like my mom, who is not depressed, but is in fact a narcissist with Borderline personality disorder.
zucchino
Yikes, dude. Sorry about your hand of cards :-/
kee413
Hey it's alright. Thanks. It's a struggle but I'm gonna make up and over.
GenuineHappiness
Hey, I don't suppose you could tell me a little about what it's like to live with/spot a parent with NPD? I've wondered if my mum has it.
kee413
I would love to, but it's a complicated matter and I worry I wouldn't do it justice. Check out r/raisedbyborderlines tho! Opened my eyes.
GenuineHappiness
Thanks man, will do!
Ryanator50
most depressed people I've met don't want to complain about it over the fear of being called pussies.
NotaCoDplayer69
I lived with this kind of person for about a year, I also had severe GAD (Generalised Anxeity Disorder) at the time, still suffer it 1/?
NotaCoDplayer69
Trust me when I tell you I know what you're going through. I had the option of leaving tho, can only imagine what it must be like 2/3
NotaCoDplayer69
Having this person be family :( Hopefully you find a way to figure it out.
yokiAijin
That doesn't sound like a depressed person... i think he has other mental illnesses...
rylecx
Yeah that's a behavioral thing, not the depression.
JayBirdyy
Ye i have suffered from depression for 3 years to the point of suicide and ye i get where you are coming from. I used to be such 1
JayBirdyy
A nightmare to be around and i apologise all the time to family and friends for it. I hate how much pain i caused family and friends.
DizzyDragon57
As a person with depression, that..doesn't sound like depression. That sounds like being a manipulative cunt. I know it affects people
cinaliliana5
Language!
DizzyDragon57
differently, but being depressed does NOT mean its ok to drag others down and lie.
WithPride
Honestly, I disagree. While it does seem that he wants to do whatever he likes, it doesn't mean that he is depressed. Heck, that is usually
WithPride
a sign that he is depressed as doing everything but nothing makes you happy leading to apathy is what depression is all about.
DizzyDragon57
Oh I'm not saying he's not also depressed. Just that depression does not equal being manipulative and lying and hurting people.
isfearitself
As a depressed person, this is not just depression. This is borderline personality disorder or bipolar. Get yourself help. Love.
Snakesz
This isn't borderline or bipolar. This is hypochondric and probably wrong antidepressants.
isfearitself
Maybe. Hard to tell. I hope they get some help.
Snakesz
Yeah, I hope so too. Doubt it though.
glodunbaraki
Ok, cool, mental health nurse here. Bro, this is why we have family support groups and safeguarding referrals. He may never get better 1/2
glodunbaraki
But it's about learning to live with this new person in your life.
glodunbaraki
Ah shit, you're in India... Your health system will be different. Try some of these https://www.ted.com/topics/depression
glodunbaraki
Also hitching and moaning in a group will help, the point is to get it out of your head, not to make plans or try to fix stuff.
vkatkool
This sounds more like narcissism than depression tbh.
CptRobotNinja
You can be sick and still be an asshole. Depression is not a free pass to treat people like shit.
AboHajer
+1
Dagarim2013
A certain proportion of people are assholes: this will include a certain proportion of sick people.
CptRobotNinja
As a nurse...yeah. you expect bad behavior in extremis. People are in pain, theyre stressed ect, but some people are just assholes and you
CptRobotNinja
Learn to spot them pretty damn quick
gabiinunderland
As a depressed person, I know exactly what my depression does to everyone around me and I fucking hate having to put them through it
Dagarim2013
See, this right here is the thing. Just because you have depression does not necessarily mean you're an asshole like OP's dad.
Feardain
You can't cure a cunt! That's not depression, that's a variety of other disorders.
Thisusernameisalreadyinusefuckyou
Yeah no this isn't depression.
SharkShanker
Try being a depressed person dating a depressed person who refuses to get help
zippydee
Good times all round
Nuanra
Speaking from experience, you're never going to get better unless you surround yourself with healthier people.
markfebruary
That sounds more like he's a whiny manipulative asshole rather than specifically a depressed person. He may not even truly be depressed.
cadthulhu
Beat me to it!
MakingDayshiftGreatAgain
God dammit I was going to say that....+1
MakingDayshiftGreatAgain
Now I'm depressed:(
passiveaggressivesesquipedalian
"Truly Depressed" Not really a medical diagnosis so much as a summarization of mental condition. Saying that he's not specifically 1/2
passiveaggressivesesquipedalian
Depressed is like saying hes not specifically an asshole. 2/2
atarang
Agreed.
MrTestCat
I believe he got depressed after being unable to provide for hs family. He let this control his life even past the point when he recovered
GrungirStoneheart
He isn't
potatofishiee
Agreed. Sounds more like emotional manipulation than actual depression.
CynicalUpvoter
Hello I also have a degree in psychology and can summarize a person's mental and chemical imbalances with 3 paragraphs from a bystander
MrTestCat
Username relevant?
CynicalUpvoter
no upvote, just cynical on this one
LucasBurke
Thank you for that.
CyborgScribe
Ok. Do so then. I want to see that.
CynicalUpvoter
You have Dooky Flooky. I know, you thought you had Wooky Dooky but as a credible source i assure you incredibly you're credibly incredible.
tacotrucks
This sounds exactly like my dad, and I agree. I mean, he may be depressed, but there's definitely a lot of manipulation and selfishness too.
smalldickbigpersonality
sounds like borderline personality disorder.
ThySausagePrince
Borderline? More like way over the line.
Snakesz
No, he sounds like a manipulative asshole. I've got BPD and I know how to behave. I'd be ashamed if this person had the same disorder as me.
PolitelyViolent
BPD can present very differently in different people.
RightPremiseWrongConclusion
The same bomb that goes off in a city will kill more people than one dropped in a desert. Everyone is different.
655321mnc
same thing really
655321mnc
i dont mean to sound insensitive but if it's not treated and not diagnosed, just saying
casbutt
Yeah, agreed. I think his behavior has everything to do with his actual personality, and nothing to do with his depression.
EggDogs
I agree with this, I've been sufferring with depression, people I meet tell me that I'm a good person and they love my smile 1/3
EggDogs
I like how they compliments me but it doesn't have much to do to overcome this. I only complain sometimes but I'm very concern with 2/3
EggDogs
people who's deeply concern with me. Don't want to say things that could hurt people because it really bothers me a lot. Hate myself. 3/3
Ryebread91
And the other two thirds of your thread?
CherryEmpress
Yeah, this isn't depression. Or at the very least, it isn't his biggest problem. Source: Am depressed, MA in psychology.
feedmeyoursins
People write and talk about it all the time but they get shut down because "it's not about you! how dare you!" depression effects everyone!
gerdygerdygerdy
My mom went through it for years. One of our conversations she said she was going to kill herself, I told her, no, she isnt. Her response wa
gerdygerdygerdy
"You're just trying to kill me faster". She had been admitted to the local ward multiple times and ultimately was diagnosed with bi polar so
gerdygerdygerdy
Her moods would shift moment to moment, or day to day. Or week to week. And she never took her meds properly. It's hard.
scepticpsycho
*affects
lethaldoobie
both are correct depending on intended meaning....
Caspooky
"Effect" would be a "result of a cause"or a "cause" itself. I'd find it hard to believe you could cause an 'everyone'. ;P
Vercci
Sadness is a depression effect which affects the person.
GeneTheAwkward
I've searched and searched and never found anything. There's no how-to for being a non-professional helping someone mentally ill.
GeneTheAwkward
...sorry not arguing, just...where can I find this magical material?
pelusita35
Look up Pete Earley. Wapo journo whose son is schizophrenic. Excellent source.
pelusita35
A local chaplain. Barnes & Noble, amazon. Books have helped me deal w/an alcoholic son.
SingingMeAndCthulioDownByRlyehFhtagn
They don't always get shut down.
GaiusOrpheus
They do often enough that people feel like they can't have all about it.
GaiusOrpheus
can't talk about it* fuckin iphone keyboard
Kangadilla
I personally do believe that depression effects everyone. Some just have it way worse than others. Honestly a vast majority of people think
scepticpsycho
Affects
Kangadilla
Of committing suicide, yet that doesn't mean they are suicidal. I use to/sometimes get suicidal thought, but I know 100% I wouldn't do it.
RememberTheC4nt
No Depression is not about suicide it is about not being able to feel the right way because your body doesn't produces the right stuff.
Kangadilla
I never said it was, just using that as an example. And even on the "feel the right way" front, I think all people experience depression.
Kangadilla
Not saying everyone IS depressed, or that they all have it bad. Just that I believe everyone has had some level of depression
koopaya
Sorry, not the same. Suicidal ideation, and being in the "planning" stages, is way different than thinking about it. Different mindset.
Kangadilla
No need to apologize.
PaintedSlate
Actual psychologists talk a great deal about family care for any mental illness. Get actual professional help whenever possible.
FallOffTheBike
Actual professional here agreeing with your statement.
MeezerStandardTime
That will be hard, because teh family unit sounds like it is sick here. I am not clear if the mom is still there or not. I hope not!
PaintedSlate
I mean, the psychologist assesses family support needs and resources.
MeezerStandardTime
The catch is that the whole family has to change. My dad wouldn't, and I bet that this guy's dad won't either.
PaintedSlate
The whole family has to get help, yeah, or at least as many as are willing. Because of the dad, the son at least needs that help.
tornik
That doesn't sound like depression, that sounds like emotional abuse and a controlling personality who is leeching off you.
taylorisnotacat
I'm fairness, those things are not mutually exclusive.
BrianNewell
Sounds like you haven't seen depression.
tornik
Seen and living with, Brian.
Nuanra
You haven't seen a personality disorder.
ThatRandomCanadian
I live with depression and can confirm that torn is right.
GeneTheAwkward
Also seen 2-3 cases of depression, one of which is me, one of which came with OTHER unrelated disorders that caused them to act like this.
GeneTheAwkward
In short, their selfish failure to be an independent human being caused them to become depressed. Underlying problems, not depression.
Blabla1979
This looks more like borderline personality disorder than depression. But those are not mutually exclusive. Convince him to get help or GTFO
jennalietz7
Not borderline. He has dementia.
TeddyBearWitch
I can't agree enough with this advice. I have a mother with whom I am estranged because her depression or BPD was abusive.
DocG80
mymorningstraightjacket
I have a father like this - cluster B personality disorders. They often present together. This isn't depression.
ladyjosephine78
This ^^
SarahHannon
Came here to say this.
Tassyr
As someone with BPD... yeah, that sounds a -LOT- like what I got.
Arathius8
Thank you! Most of the depressed people I work with are more concerned about others than themselves (which feeds into the depression).
letmenumberthatforyou
*Convince him that unless he gets help {you're} going to GTFO.
KawaiiRonPaul
THIS
mcfatty74
Also came here to say this.
Amazingamandaaaaa
Exactly what I thought after the first few sentences. I worked in mental health for over 8 years, and its textbook BPD.
CyborgScribe
I wouldn't diagnose based on just this post, obviously, but that was the impression I got as well. Read as very borderline.
EducationalPsychInTraining
I agree with that
slf325
Agreed
OutoftheDarknessIntotheLight
That's what happened with my ex wife. She went off the rails, calling it an episode of her depression, but it spiralled and spiralled
battlestargingerpubes
I agree. Everyone's case is different, I guess, but I've gone through depression and it didn't look like this.
PrincessAnus
thats not BPD. thats narcissistic PD. BPD is different, id know, i have it.
CyborgScribe
It reads as severe bpd to me. Possibly is also depressed. All these things exist in variations of severity and insight.
mascotkelly
I agree with Narcissistic PD. mom has it. Had to cut her off after 36 years for my own mental health
loolabell
not depression. pretty simple. i have family members with personality disorders and the only way out is to get out.
Huldra
I got BPD. And I am not like this. But there is ofc different diagnosis.
FlamingYon
BPD is a bitch to live with.
Snakesz
Seeing multiple people say this makes me wonder if I'm like this, as I have BPD. This person sounds like an absolute arse to me.
Somethingsneaky
BPD is basically being an ass to the point that it's a clinical diagnoses. But knowing, accepting the diagnoses and trying make a difference
Snakesz
That's just not true..
mcfatty74
Everyone is different! Just try to be aware, it's half the battle.
hanabakemono
I wonder the same thing. But I'm an asshole more at myself than anyone else so at least I have that. Yay?
driftir
I also suffer from BPD, typically the worst of us are the people who don't acknowledge or do anything about it. Be accountable.
PrincessAnus
were not.. people just confuse NPD and BPD... :/
venomlash
Came here to say this. The moodiness, the constant accusations of betrayal, the victim complex...textbook BPD.
redheadedvaultgirl
Borderline Personality Disorder? Bipolar Disorder? Either way he is clearly not medicated.
letuspartylikeitsonsalefor1999
Shit this is my mum to a tee...
alloutofyaksblood
Hoped to see this. I concur.
TogepiOmelette
BPD?
Abrausedteleprot
borderline personality disorder
carlofonovs
I would disagree. Those are not the hallmarks of bpd. We have to look for impulsivity, self harm, constant fear of abandonment, 1/2
carlofonovs
intense and stormy relationships (not just problematic relationships), idealization and devaluation of others, cognitive symptoms, and
carlofonovs
Intense emotional lability (not just moodiness). The other symptoms are just peripheral to the disorder.
AkLonewolf
Check mark for most of those for my SO. Mental health is almost non existent in my location.
IAMCRAIG
This. Also if he really is suffering from depression, he needs to be dragged to therapy groups and helped to pursue all avenues of learning
IAMCRAIG
healthy coping mechanisms and ways in general to live with it, since it sounds like a lifetime thing.
Mirisido
You can't help someone who doesn't want help. Dragging someone to a therapy group when they don't want the help causes contempt
IAMCRAIG
I'm not saying outright forcing him, but a lot of the time depression will drain all the energy out of you and you'll need a push or ten.
Mirisido
Oh I know. I've got my own issues. But I went to get help because someone else wanted me to, not because I wanted. It was horrible
normalizetherapy
Also came here to say this. I did BPD research for years at my uni. Most effective treatment as determined by meta analysis is called DBT.
normalizetherapy
DBT = Dialectal behavioral therapy
gorblin
How do you convince someone with BPD to get help if they refuse to seek it and push you away?
whedonsarmy
You can't. The only thing that convinced my mom, who has BPD, to seek help is that I stopped all communication with her for about a year.
berightbackreallifeiscalling
Good on you, by removing yourself and her outlet for manipulation. Best thing you can do. Well done.
whedonsarmy
I'm in the process of setting boundaries with her, but they are very severe. It doesn't mean I don't love her. Just taking care of me.
ladyjosephine78
This ^^
DoktorLurker
As a depressed person, it sounds to me like he's got a lot worse going on.
ColoneISanders
As a depressed person, we rarely let people know we're depressed
DoktorLurker
I did. Mostly so my corpse doesn't stink up the place too bad. Just in case.
EvilChiWaWa
I agree depressed+selfish+narcissistic+possibly dementia? Question on only the last one. Sorry OP
Rookvlees
Agreed. Not a day goes by that I don't want to put a bullet in my brain, but I'm not a manipulative asshole to my family.
Cheetosburnedmycheeks
Yea having depression doesn't make you a dick like that and it's usually quiet. consider getting help for yourself first to deal with him
NarayanDux
It is littarally craving for attention. And manipulating a family to get what he wants. It's selfish
Dcattera14
Sounds more like borderline personality disorder rather than depression. Try reading the book "I hate you! Don't leave me".
CyVs
Possible, but as someone who got diagnosed with BPS and that stricken 5 years later because I have PTSD they didn't diagnose - there's a lot
CyVs
of overlap and nuance in psychological disorders, interpretation depends on a lot. Regardless: this is definitely something to get help for.
Thirddead
Agreed.
HanjinHanamura
As another depressed person, I agree that it sounds like manipulation and guilt-tripping rather than depression.
HanjinHanamura
Source- my ex was this kind of "depressed". She did showy cutting and emotional outbursts when i couldn't/wouldn't do something for her.
HanjinHanamura
Ended up dropping me like a hot potato and dating my (now former) best friend in less than a week after meeting him.
BlueAlopex
Wow. What shitty people. Sounds like you dodged a bullet twice.
BrutallySarcastic
Agreed. Frankly, in my experience (both with myself and others) depression is inward, it shouldn't make people verbally aggressive
somethingofsomething
Ya that doesn't sound like depression. I've helped put a few friends with it, sounds more like manipulation.
mostaredogs
Not all depressed people are assholes, he's just a shitty person.
Tollo92
Agreed. That's more than depression.
hadji
Another vote. That doesn't sound like depression. Sounds like manipulation.
RdizzyC
Sounds more like some other mental illness than just a totally healthy person being manipulative, more serious than just depression.
Corvie
This. As someone that has lived with depression and have close friends with it as well, you fight like mad to hide it.
notmyrealnameomg
Really wish we could know. Everyone's here to help, but he is not giving anything. It's amazing he has maintained his ego these 15 years.
PoppinLochNessHopster
He probably hasn't. He's probably a completely broken person underneath that lashes out to hold the pieces together.
Goldenstethoscope0
I'm not a psychologist, but he may have other issues besides depression. It's very hard on loved ones, but intervention may help.
navyjeff
He sounds like a narcissist.
BeatsBearsBattlestarGallactica
Is he seeing a therapist already? Family counselling could be the next step in helping everyone.
batman000
I'm indian too and my dad is pretty much the same. I sometimes feel like its a cultural thing among indian men.
Italianola
So sort of speculating here, but this sounds more like a personality disorder. You can have both, but there are red flags for borderline PD.
TheBestRussian
It sounds like he has narcissistic personality disorder, @OP. A bitch to deal with. Incurable. Only option is to leave.
johneventually1
My father in law too
stinkingyeti
As someone with depression and kids, he just sounds like an asshole with depression.
Gremlynn4023
Vouch.
ValiantlyFlailing
sounds like Borderline Personality Disorder. Basically shows symptoms of depression to get attention. Sadly tough love is only cure I know
Shortytheshortest
As someone who's ex has BPD, unfortunately there is usually no "cure", and getting out of the relationship is the only option.
nukethelizards
Or you could be supportive and not add to the stigma, sayin. They had the same diagnosis when you met. BPD doesn't just pop out of thin air.
ValiantlyFlailing
source: psych degree, dated someone with this & suffer from it myself. You have to be supportive but only of action. He wants to be forced.
ValiantlyFlailing
sadly, no guarantees. he could blow up and refuse. people have to want to change themselves as well. you give 20%, but its his 80% to match
ValiantlyFlailing
but basically he is a giant baby who always gets his way and you all have to stop letting him have it.
Ronelyn
Kind of a gross oversimplification of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, says another psych major. And BPD's a bit more than 'I whine for hugs.'
ValiantlyFlailing
who'd have thought that w/ a 140 character limit i wouldn't entirely show the incredibly nuanced & complex world of mental health & therapy
Ronelyn
I have never had this problem on Imgur. Definitely not in the last week, and certainly not earlier today. ;)
nukethelizards
Less likely in males, so possibly NPD or HPD, if a PD. Could just to do with entering the generativity stage of life. Dementia possibly.
DoktorLurker
He's likely doing it so he doesn't have to DO anything. He gets fed, housed, and whatever without having to work. Sounds pretty good.
Cyranojoe
Sounds like a pretty shitty way to be, honestly. He may be getting what he "wants", but I'd bet it doesn't make him feel super.
notmyrealnameomg
That's exactly what he is enjoying, but if you dare to say so then "You don't care about me or my health, all you care about is money."
Nihelus
He sounds more abusive than depressed. People use their behavior to control others. You have to decide how bad it is and make a choice.
kogamikirito
This sounds like when rick yelled at jerry
DoktorLurker
It's not an easy solution. My thought is that he isn't medically depressed but that it's an act to get what he wants.
dtek
If you're old enough, get out. If you're not, discuss this with your school counselor. You need some emotional support. Take care of you 1st
JoeT85
well said. I imagine that most depressed, tend to hide that sort of thing. I do, I know that much.
dtek
I stayed married too long to someone with borderline personality disorder. "Take care of you first" is what her psychologist told me.
C141Clay
I think it is easier to write that concept than to actually do. No matter how much trouble a person is, it is so so hard to turn away and >
C141Clay
> leave the problem person to their own survival. the problem grows when there are others involved that will be staying behind. >
C141Clay
I really hope that [notmyrealnameomg] can get out, but he/she is in a tough spot. From my part of the world, all I can offer is words.
dtek
Of course it's easier to say than to do. Many necessary things are. It's difficult to provide detailed nuanced advise in 140 characters. :/
C141Clay
Yep. I agree.
notmyrealnameomg
I am old enough and I am going away sooner or later. What worries me is situation of my mother and l'il brother. I am able to get (1/2)
spamshampoo
Read /r/raisedbynarcissists and you will not only be able to relate, but it might actually make you feel better, some parents are pure shit
CongratsYouAreHereNow
give him a dose of magic mushrooms. trust me
CairoLen
Do not do this.
CongratsYouAreHereNow
Do it
nukethelizards
Do it.
nukethelizards
Listen, I was 15 & left home. Paid my rent, got myself a degree and a salary job all solo. Don't learn his helplessness. Make your life.
GeneTheAwkward
I'd like to hear the story of how that happened. No like really. In a post perhaps?
nukethelizards
I put some in the replies above. Look through my posts for a rant about my abusive cop mom, on mother's day. I've healed, sucks some days
byedone
I did it at 16. Zero support system. Got a degree too. Never went back..don't owe anyone shit either.
nukethelizards
Yes! #2 we should start a club!
happyponypoo
That's exceptional. Most 15 year olds shouldn't be encouraged to become completely independent.
nukethelizards
I had been exchange student & independence was encouraged. The abusive cop mom that wore on me. Emancipated by 16 so I could sign my stuff.
Alavar
I would absotuley love to meet the landlord that let a 15 year old sign a lease lmfao.
TehSeksyManz
Who said they signed a lease? Lmfao
nukethelizards
I had many parents. Refused foster care, but enough of my friend's parents hated my mom. Always have a place to stay until lease time came.
nukethelizards
I was legally emancipated by 16 so I cpuld sign my own legal documents. Couch surfed with friends before I got a carriage house apt. 1/2
nukethelizards
Then, I work/lived at a year round camp for people with disabilities. Did rent hours in exchange for a roof. It was home until college.
notmyrealnameomg
emotional support, but sometimes it's just not enough. I live in a country (India) where depression is in your thoughts. (2/2)
smalldickbigpersonality
Ill be in India to volunteer in the next month or so. If you ever need to chat or need a friend pm me! I've been through the same stuff
OneZebraInAHerdOfWildebeests
My dad was in the sames and still is to a point, but is working now and finally content now that has grandchildren.
RagingAura
Look into some doctors without borders projects and see if one with a psych division is near you. They have them, and they are in india
MaryNoonan1967
You must alter your view. Look at his depression as a physical illness. This obstacle will teach you infinite patience & compassion. <3
RagingAura
Problem is op's father isnt just depressed, hes victim complexed, and thats whats causing the problem, not the depression.
dtek
This is harsh, but you probably cannot help your mother. She is choosing to stay. You may be able to help your brother once you're out.
whegg
Op mentioned they are from India, and honestly divorce there is still very looked down upon
notmyrealnameomg
Wish my mother wasn't so good. We leave him and he might end up doing something, but this time actually.
kuradag
Is a Psychologist an option? Family counseling might wake either parent up for what's best for themselves and their kids.
gorblin
You shouldn't sacrifice yourself. You are responsible for your own happiness and he is responsible for his. He is emotionally abusing you.
itstzarina
If he does that's his decision and has nothing to do with you and your choices. You need to do. What's best for you in the long run.
seawhores
I think ultimately you ask yourself if you are hurting yourselves more by staying than him by leaving... you can't get your life back
theshinobi23
I was depressed for about 2 years. The kick I needed was a good smack in the face from my wife and a "quit sulking and fix yourself" speech.
GeneTheAwkward
I have also been depressed, and I am so so so glad this helped for you. It's rare that it helps, but it's awesome it did.
theshinobi23
Of course, this isn't a good way for most to handle depression, but it worked on me. And it seems you have tried the "safe, friendly, nice"
UnassumingAscotCap
Neat. I've had a couple of those speeches. I've been fighting it for 12 years. Not terribly helpful.
ohjohnboy
SSRI, SNRI, CBT, TCA, ECT?
bebopadoodoo
Yeah you can't yell at someone clinically depressed to stop being depressed...like yelling at someone to stop