Miguenzo
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Dec 3, 2020 3:05 PM
Miguenzo
127556
7000
210
DamnMustardTiger
Good guy Mark Kelly.
BeesKneesJohanson
“When your character is in the middle of a cutscene” fits this perfectly.
CatsUpvoteTerror
She been wearing purple hair wig for awhile. Nothing to do with pence. It's to encourage people to social distancing(not going to hair salon
TheobromineAddict
That's a pleasing level of trolling, against somebody who deserves it.
CatsUpvoteTerror
She been wearing that wig for a while. Nothing to do with pence or gay
TheobromineAddict
I doubt he can stretch his thinking to Encompass the idea that she is not gay.
ciscoxing626
The Republican party had a chance at relevance when Gabby Giffords was shot...
delecti
However you feel about them it's hard to argue they're irrelevant when they have majority in the SCOTUS, Senate, and control the white house
HDSDIWifiGuy
Yeah, I think "integrity" would be a better word than relevance.
turkishbutnotnationalist
Maybe she should dress more professional though? I don't care about other stuff but it doesn't seem professional.
Thelrishlnquistion
Where’s his fly? Where’s the brains of the operation?
evilspyre
Flies only live about a month, so its gone to wherever flies go when they die.
MeniBothanzWasMyGrandFather
"mother" probably dragged him out back and hosed him down when he got home.
Jandegrote
He is not a christian anyway so who cares he is just using it to be a fucking cunt.
pluto408
scorpiomoonshine
“Come now, mother must wash you”
bekindtoanimals
Ewwwww
Kalicula
She's got that "eat shit you fucker" look in her eye too
CatsUpvoteTerror
Can you really see that
tantallous
maybe if we can get CSI to enhance it
01010101011100110110010101110010011011100110000101101101e
In an ideal world, the sexuality of the woman wouldn't be a big deal either way.
DarkwingDuc
That’s kinda the point. If it had been anyone other than “shock the gay away” Pence, it wouldn’t have mattered.
CarlottaVonSprockett
I think we should do away with swearing in the Bible. Let’s have them swear on the constitution or something relevant.
evilspyre
They can if they want, a previous president used a book of law (as a standin for the constitution) instead of the bible
CarlottaVonSprockett
I know I’m just saying it should be just ruled out entirely. No religious texts. I say that as a faithful Christian who believes in the /1
CarlottaVonSprockett
separation of church and state. 2/2
pooga
Ah, yes. Our daily dose of the murica reality show.
fivefrozenfishfingers
The likeness is uncanny
HypnagogicHallucinations
Why are they still using bibles for this?
nopost
You can swear on literally anything...? Jesus, you're like that representative from Roy Moore's campaign that got schooled on national TV
DarkwingDuc
Tradition. Desn’t have to be a Bible, any book they choose. John Adams sore his oath on book of law. Bible is simplest & readily available.
Mikeiller
because Bibles still mean a lot to the people that choose to be sworn in on them
TetsuoooKanedaaaTetsuoooKanedaaa
Swearing on a bible sounds so medieval
evilcarp
You should see Pence's sex life.
Counterfit
I'd rather not
InoffensivePablum
I would have had a drag queen hold a copy of Atlas Shrugged for me to swear on.
AnimalRescueGuy
Ayn Rand? Ugh. Make it something classy like a worn Choose Your Own Adventure paperback and I’m in.
MrSmilingDeath
Sorry, don't have those, but they do have some old Goosebumps books.
darkklad2000
i wonder how many lashes he gave him self for being that close to a woman.
RHodeidra
Mother will have to have him washed and scrubbed before she'll be able to fuck him with a strap-on (shaped liked Jesus - but black)
konelhft
I'll be honest, watching a chick dressed as a slutty nun with a crucifix shaped dildo was crossing a line in good taste for me. Like, nope.
RHodeidra
There is always another line
SteelersNation7
Can I ask, if religion and the government are supposed to be separated, y do we use the bible and god to swear in new gov officials?
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SteelersNation7
I see. Well thats a problem, church and state should be separate by alot
Kingdomonsterdeath
Because they are not separate and your government is actually a neo fascist christian state. Morning government prayer breakfast anyone?
NightCap
You can swear in on anything you choose. Bible is just tradition.
SteelersNation7
I did not know that, interesting
konelhft
One dude in Cali got sworn in on Cap's shield.
SteelersNation7
Really? Thats actually pretty cool
StarscreamAndHutch
Can we stop swearing on books. It means nothing. Sign a contract against your financial accounts. Option a hand. Put some skin in the game.
LittleDragon
I like books, not the ones they swear on. But a good copy of Shakespeare would be nice. But I like your idea more.
delecti
I believe they can choose what book to sear on. Sometimes they use a famous person's bible, but I think they already can use Shakespeare.
EroticZombiePants
mixing of blood
callmethelizardqueen
They get to choose how they are sworn in. Sinema chose the constitution.
pandro
THAT is what our military swears to protect and defend. Not a flag, not personalities, but our country's basic principles.
CarlottaVonSprockett
Firstborn child (or a reproductive organ for those who have no children).
Miguenzo
I'll say foreskin then
DarkwingDuc
Guess I can never run for office then...
CatsUpvoteTerror
I doubt he really cares
evilspyre
Look at his voting history, he is super anti-gay rights & 'mothers' school expels people who come out as gay / bi.
CatsUpvoteTerror
The purple hair isn't a gay thing
evilspyre
Did I say it was?
CatsUpvoteTerror
Kinda the whole point of this post isn't it?
evilspyre
You said that you doubt he was bothered, but that isn't true since he is against equal rights for LGBT community, which includes bisexuals.
quade
Mark Kelly leans over afterwards to whisper to Pence, "Also, I've been to space. Earth IS round, I've seen it for myself."
bekindtoanimals
HA!
thesavagery
Sneemaster
"And it's over 6000 years old..."
DoctorPitt
"...by like a lot too."
ImSorryOakIllPutTheBikeAwayJustGetOutOfMyHead
Astronaut president would be cool
quade
That would make him the most interesting man in the world...
tr26
Comment of the year, right here
stulfer
Az senators are gonna really piss off the religious extremists now. Ones bisexual purple lady and the others anti gun astronaut hahahah
GoatKun
it's a wig
quade
Well, to be fair, some asshole shot his wife in the head on live TV, so...
UsernameRabarber
They sound like really bad superhero names. I love it ?
Mewmus
Pence isnt a flat earther
quade
Jokes
tr26
He’s def a young earther, but hopefully not a flat earther. Still a funny joke making fun of him blatantly ignoring physical evidence.
Mewmus
When did he say he was a young earther?
tr26
He implied it in interviews, then directly said he agreed with Ben Carson’s views on it.
Mewmus
Well, Dr Carson is a brilliant doctor but that just goes to show how religion can fuck people up
tenaciousjeebs
He’s a creationist and it’s just as zany.
nichfra
If you're a biblical creationist but not a flat earther you're just inconsistent in reading the bible literally.
Jonnythetrout
What? Where does it say the earth is flat in the Bible?
nichfra
Different places throughout new and old testament where you can either see all of the earth from one high place, earth has corners and other
tenaciousjeebs
Well that’s what I assume but there isn’t hard evidence on his views regarding the shape of the earth.
ArkoneAxon
...Dude... is Pence really a flat earther? Holy crap...
quade
I don't actually think so, I was just going for the joke. But I think he IS a young-earther
ArkoneAxon
Yeah, "young earther" is a little more believable. Stupid, but less so than "walks into the war room and sees the synchronized satellite>
ArkoneAxon
display, and complains that it's not flat."
donkeyDD
The purple haired lady is our other senator, Kyrsten Sinema.
GifsAreMyFetish
Does she often go out watching new movies?
Blacktusk
Ok but where'd she get the coat?
booooooort
Well that's just wonderful.
mobileimgurlags
Thank you this is what i was looking for
Heliogabalus227
She is amazingly awesome
Heliogabalus227
For how baaaarely blue AZ went, she does ok—promotes bipartisan and social distancing, at least, and is unimpeachably fabulous/ fashionable
live2dyec4
Yea no, she is terrible and I will not be voting for her again. Her record in the senate is an embarrassment.
snuffcarcass
I don’t especially like her either but if she’s what creates a dem senate majority then I’ll vote for her. Big picture.
TiredOfTheBS
Eh her policy record says otherwise
snuffcarcass
As an Arizonan I agree, but she’s better than what we’d get as an alternative right now.
AP116
Voted with Trump a lot
simplejacksoffhismeds
That totally would make a great porn name.
somethingawesomeandgreat
Semena would ...
FuturamaSleeper
Sex work is work and not shameful, y’all. I don’t understand why ppl are downvoting this.
hickchick19817
No it’s definitely shameful
FuturamaSleeper
Lol. Ok boomer.
Xemodnar
Sex work may be work (and in some senses, that can't be denied), but porn names aren't names.
FuturamaSleeper
It’s kinda in the title
PinkyAndTheBrain89
What does that have to do with the price of eggs?
swinglinered
"Christian Cinema"?
Hotjoe1991
Real sensitive people downvoting you right now
simplejacksoffhismeds
It's merely herd mentally kicking in. How dare we make light of a purple haired bisexuals, oddly name. The name is sacred.
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simplejacksoffhismeds
OP's mom?
Jazzcabage
Wanking?
UncleRat
I love British expressions. They always don't sound like they mean.
mobileimgurlags
Everybody be what you want but this just looks unprofessional.
yourjokeisdumb
I agree, we've already had enough undignified shit in the Whitehouse this term. I look like a hot topic wetdream, but this is unprofessional
yourjokeisdumb
It's your job. And it's an office that should have some dignity. Dress that way off the clock, by all means. But have respect for the office
ElusiveThing
I think it's been proven pretty conclusively that elected offices in the US have no dignity.
kakivara
The great thing about it is that she (our other Senator) doesn't care what you think about her.
mobileimgurlags
Your elected official doesnt care what the people think about her. Are you bragging?
kakivara
Oh, she cares what I think about her. She just doesn't care what you think about her.
mobileimgurlags
And as long as she keeps living up to your ideals. She can get elected president and you would like her dressed this way at a world summit
kakivara
I don't agree with all of her positions, she's more conservative than I'd like. But, sure, she can rock her zebra coat.
oprahslovechild
How so? Why does hair color need to be standardized for someone to look professional?
mobileimgurlags
I'm more upset with the jacket
WilliamWeird
Would a vegan friendly jacket be more suitable?
mobileimgurlags
I just think the elected officials that represent the people should dress appropriately but thats my opinion
WilliamWeird
I would prefer that actions and behaviour is taken with respect. I don't give a fuck with how tan their suit is.
smax410
You can request any book to be sworn in on. He should’ve fucked with Pence a little harder.
azimir
On Fascism: 12 Lessons from American History
SpiderProof
The Prince
DarkwingDuc
He’s got more important things on his mind than fucking with Pence.
smax410
i mean this takes zero energy though
Neednoggle
A Stephen Fry novel perhaps?
whitebbwolf
I d expect him to swear on the Universal constant or the Engineers Precision Data Reference
Sayagain
If I may ask why does it have to be a book? And how old is that law? I'd swear in on a VHS of TMNT2 because I'm mature!!!
azimir
You actually don't even need a book, nor a religious connotation at all. There's versions of the oath without any of those things.
Sayagain
Blood Oath it is!!!
SzKnoWnzEvr72
1986 Guinness Book of World Records
YouCheckedTheUsernameHaveACookie
The Kama Sutra
HDSDIWifiGuy
1984
tarkus10
I admire your thought on this. In the words of Jabba the Hut, You are my kind of slime. Go get a biscuit.
DougDeNasty
The Lorax
TrumpSuxIvankastoeslikechillidogs
Fun fact: that's on the banned books list for many schools, interpret that as you will.
TrumpSuxIvankastoeslikechillidogs
The Origin of Species
smax410
Hahahaha
KommissarLyus
I would have chosen the The Satanic Bible.
realargonwolf
The God Delusion would be even more condescending.
Ravise
Principia Discordia
RainierCamino
MrSmilingDeath
The Necronomicon
RainierCamino
unremarkableasterisk
Mother will not be pleased with these shenanigans.
bekindtoanimals
HA!
MrTummy
So fucking creepy.
shamanbaptist
Someone on here said that when Pence comes he says “Mother, I am arriving.” I still have not fully recovered.
TrueNorthernLights
wishIcouldthinkofsomething
"Mother". Gross
RideTheStimutacs
It's OK, there was a man in the room.
klavenism
GREAT NORTHERN BEANS!
rhmrcScifiBandit
Just wait until God hears about this...
Chalybos
She’s going to peg him extra hard for that.
BropaneAndBropaneAccessories
Pence's mother probably:
LK79
I’ve never seen Mike Pence and Norman Bates in the same place at the same time, that’s all I’m saying.....
BeardBass
Heavens above, watch your language! He might hear.
dikynumbawun
Wait- was it Ted Cruz who calls his wife mother? Or Pence
dnuckles
no no no Ted Cruz is the one who kept sending picks of his wiener to young women
GoldFrieza
While a funny story, that was Anthony Weiner
HenryPicklecopter
I think pence
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HenryPicklecopter
Peen-ice
bekindtoanimals
Pence- the freak
dikynumbawun
One solid "yike"
bekindtoanimals
Yep- these are the kinda guys that are caught with young male prostitutes.
TheGhostofElizabethShue
“You won’t be laughing when I’m the president for six minutes.”
Gdaddylurch
Could someone clarify this for me...or more my friend.
Radix865
I kinda want to see them do it but Pence then just smile and say no. Then he walks into a mirror and breaks it.
Ryebread91
Why six minutes?
JdrummerG
I need imgur law professionals to tell me the real lawful possibility of this happening >_>
jcu412
The "possibility" is completely different than legality. It is possible, is it legal? Only the courts will tell.
furriephillips
Task: engineer something that requires that Trump & Pence be separated at the last minute, to prevent them from doing the Potomac Two-Step.
furriephillips
https://youtu.be/DSs4KD-0tlI
Orcus424
Pence should do what Trump does and renegotiate when the deal is already done. Pence would hold his fate in his hands.
PunishMentor
I know it's possible, but seriously who wants to be remembered for being the shortest term president in that context? What's in it for him
poscduke
Being able to get all of the Trump supporters votes in 2024
ArgentMaid
Power
PunishMentor
I dunno. I feel like it's more like being someone's bitch. I detest him, but I think he has some self respect.
ArgentMaid
I respect myself to, but I can also be petty as hell towards people who slight me
FierceAndAdorable
lurkerconvert
He’s a sycophant. He’ll do anything his master wants.
Wastyvez
During his four years as VP Pence has been mostly unremarkable. Trump still holds a lot of influence in the GOP, both in the party as in 1)
Wastyvez
the electorate. Any 2024 hopeful that doesn't want to play the gambit of rejecting Trumpism completely needs to appease both him and his 2)
Wastyvez
rabid electorate. Becoming POTUS to pardon Trump will push Pence in the national spotlight, put him in DT's good graces and satisfy his 3)
Wastyvez
electorate, setting him up for a primary run. Though four years is a long time and that plan could backfire completely. Trump would have 4)
hfctom
Mother's approval
ThronesWoven
METROlD
I'd be stoked if I was the prez for 6 minutes. I'd make a law that everyone has to get a mohawk and I'd be outtie!!!
PithyCommentBelow
1. I laughed. 2. You do know that the president doesn’t make laws, right?
nunyabusuiness420699
Comments like this are what keep me coming back here lol
moonshadowfuzzypants
You must be under 35 cause for sure I’d be Audi 5000.
PlaidBastard
Bet he doesn't even know to avoid that Noid gentleman, either.
PlaidBastard
(Might or might not know how to use the three seashells.)
PoorChoices
Fun fact: based on technicalities, Dick Cheney was the shortest term president at about 1 hour 20 minutes, when W. Bush had a colonoscopy.
Preincarnated
Meh. "Acting president" is not the same as "president."
PoorChoices
He was acting president twice, both due to W. Bush getting butt stuff done to him. He stated he actually didn't know the second time.
PoorChoices
He went for a walk with his dog, and come to find out, THAT was when he was acting president. This was 2 of 3 times the 25th was ever used.
shiyal
Best president ever. And mean while he served at least.
PoorChoices
Before everyone asks, the third was when Ronald Regan got shot because the shooter had a crush on Jodie Foster and wanted to show it somehow
Muunk
The ol' pardon switcheroo
attackingOtter1
Trump can only be pardoned for federal crimes, not state, hence why NY is waiting for him.
Lepidopterous
Also don’t you have to be pardoned for a conviction? Like how is Trump gonna pardon his kids if they haven’t been convicted of anything yet
humanhotplate
Nixon was pardoned before he was convicted of anything
SaintJStew
You can prepardon people and give them immunity. It’s ridiculous but it’s legal. It’s very rarely used even though he used it recently
Lepidopterous
Wow. That should not be legal.
Kingdomonsterdeath
I think it would be hilarious if pence was made president for half a day and doesn't pardon trump. That would be an awesome F U out the door
BaelKor
Pulling the Claire Underwood treatment?
cyberimg
My new happy place....
DasWauto
Doesn’t one have to be convicted to be pardoned? I’m pretty sure they don’t get handed out preemptively (thankfully).
ratfaceddog
Yes.
humanhotplate
Nope you don't have to be convicted of a crime, nixon was given one and was never convicted.
DanielRadcliffesDeliciousAsshole1
Idk we pardon a thanksgiving turkey with him being convicted
IronyEnoughForTheIronClub
Nixon wasn't charged
HarbingerOfButts
I'm not too sure? Bill Clinton pardoned his brother despite there being no active charges against him.
ratfaceddog
Clinton pardoned his brother 10 years after he had served his sentence (which definitely required a conviction).