avanishprajapati
306007
8495
220
Siri is full of shit
Sunflowers
Girl scouts
He's bananas
Friends forever
Always use condoms!
Kinda short.
Is it illegal to have sex in a dressing room?
Ryucian222
Solid dump
droppingbeats
Genuinely laughed out loud at the dressing room one; holy butts.
grai
"I jerked off in a dressing room do I sound like a lawyer" made me LOL
ConstatineEmpire
The mutant dandelion gets me every time
ScreamingGreenFrog
Can't help but wonder if that formal baby one inspired the Boss Baby movie
TheCakeisALieiKnowiChecked
And as always, my favourite: 'ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?'
Feardain
A few I haven't seen before.... So yea have my reluctant up vote.
Aremannen
Footy four...
TasteTheCrainbow
The funniest dump in a while
fudgycurmudgeon
I CAN'T STOP FUCKING LAUGHING NOBODY LOOK AT ME
Qiwi3
I haven't cried this hard from laughing for a while, it is awesome!
TerritorialRotbart
jimwormmaster
I see what you did there.
90ina65
B)
bunnyrut
SVcross
Yeah, that totally happened. #NotReally
Bishca
Tesla was actually quite disappointed that women were becoming more like men and saw this as the decline of western civilization (1/2) -link
IllegalDuckling
NineThousandAndOne
What is a "Canadian asshole"? I've never heard about those before.
notsogoodatusernames
*pipes up* Present.
jimwormmaster
Would that be an ehhole?
Godsoftheodds
GET CENTRIFUCKED
LongtimeIMGURlurkertotallynotstalkerguy
GET MAXIPREPPED
Salpinus
Spending Sunday tomorrow centrifuging and staining cells - I needed that one!
guywithwifi
GET PCREKT
yarnageddon
Well done
guywithwifi
;)
ImTheGoddamnBatwoman
This is straight ripped from a recent Buzzfeed article. Congrats.
FreddyBenelli
Oh. Where did Buzzfeed steal it from?
Marine23
Ikr
prolificchicken
bell peppers aren't fruits you fucks
0rpheus
Peppers are seedy so they are fruits.
prolificchicken
fight me
0rpheus
1v1 rust, interventions only.
prolificchicken
nvm
Dontdearabbyme
Question: who uses a fork for bread or wine?
sockadactyl
I just bought a comic book called Mooncop and it's basically this and it's lovely
hawkesnightmare
Why did the asker in #17 only give three stars for that answer? Were they expecting a fucking peer reviewed journal on Fruit by the Foot?
GrizzlyWicks
what in the name of sweet zombie jesus is fruit by the foot?
hawkesnightmare
If you know what a Fruit Roll-Up is, it's like that except long and thin. If not, it's a 3-foot ribbon of artificial flavored goodness.
dontsayretarded0itsgay
How many PhD's u got? Just curious
chronovore
@hawkesnightmare has even stolen other people's PhDs when they aren't looking. Stay vigilant.
hawkesnightmare
Damn that Stephen Hawking and his security measures guarding his diplomas!
hawkesnightmare
All of them.
manspeed
Re: The Iron Giant one.
manspeed
It's set in the 1950s. As far as Hogarth knew, there probably was some kid in Russia with two giant robots. Or even more.
rockman147
Really want to know if the Nic Cage guy got the job
peketu
Good job, this one was hilarious.
CloneCommander1119
Canadian asshole is an oxymoron.
Janthran
If you spend any time communicating with a considerable amount of Canadians, you'd know that is untrue.
iantollewellyn
Who you calling an ox, moron?
InnsmouthTourist
No, we're real jerkface. (Sorry)
Obide
Well maybe but it says Candian, so no worries
BrontTheGoodBoy
It's probably not Canada, then. My guess is Dubai.
notsogoodatusernames
As a proud, Canadian asshole, I can attest to the fact that we do indeed exist.
alt1387
Justin Beiber.
ThatRandomCanadian
Nah, he became americanized. He left as some crappy singing kid.
elementofdisaster
Canadian here. Just checked. Definitely have an asshole.
YepUsernameChecksOut
You're an oxi-clean moron
Cobaltios
Torontonian
dingdongawhatiswronga
Albertan
ThatRandomCanadian
I'm from Alberta and am an asshole. Can confirm.
notsogoodatusernames
Nova Scotian living in Ottawa. I can also can confirm that I am an asshole.
TooBrokeToFunction
Can someone explain the emoticon pun one?
CaptainSquared
The B and ) together, if you view it sideways looks like a smiley face with aviator sunglasses B)
cranialpleasure
2 grand a month?! Those 8th graders had such an easy assignment. :(
ChinMusic
It's Australia, cost of living is much higher.
Samaedag
Uh....Where do you live? 2k a month means we can afford meat with our Ramen where I live.
CrocodileTears19
Yeah that's almost twice what I make :/
Danishlmgurian
Hah! I'm living in half their assignment!....if you don't count all the free food I get from granny.....
CatGoesMeh
Two grand a month is roughly my income. Just over half is rent and utilities. Another quarter is insurance, gas, food and nessesities.
CatGoesMeh
The rest is unknown expenses, car repairs and yunno... life. Otherwise I can be frugal when needed.
Forunth
Jesus, I would kill to have 2k a month. I try to live with 300$ per month. Someone buy me a dinner :(
reallyaplatypus
I feel this. Right now I'm having water for dinner and just being thankful I'm not sleeping on the street.
Forunth
Exactly me right now, but unfortunately I might end up homeless before Christmas :( Have my most sincere wishes, I know how it is
SirSmurfalot
Damn dude, water is expensive, what is this your birthday?
burgerandy
You must accompany me to Taco Bell.
Forunth
There is no Taco Bell in country I live in :<
burgerandy
LateNightBunnyParty
That's...that's not a lot. My husband makes twice that, and we're comfortable, but he still can't afford many sick days.
oheina
Live in Mississippi. Can confirm. If I alone brought home $2000 a month I'd be so happy.
iantollewellyn
Shit, I make less than $2k a month and I still throw back a bit in savings every month.
ionlywriteinlowercase
2000$ a month ? I live on 400€ a month!
dontsayretarded0itsgay
How exactly?
ionlywriteinlowercase
150€ rent with 150€ from the state, then I have 50€ for internet, netflix and shitz, then I have 200€ for food and toilet paper
dontsayretarded0itsgay
Greece?
ionlywriteinlowercase
France, and I get enough for gas for my 18 years old ford fiesta also
ionlywriteinlowercase
It's easy if you don't like sauce on your pasta
dontsayretarded0itsgay
OMG I can afford a vacation in France I did not know this
PillsburyFuckboi
Here in America we put the $ before the number
dontsayretarded0itsgay
I put the $ wherever the hell I damn well please. 'Merica, hell yeah
dante1120
2$,000
PillsburyFuckboi
You unwashed savage
ionlywriteinlowercase
Well I hope you get well soon
PillsburyFuckboi
There are quite a few uppercase letters for someone with a name like yours
ionlywriteinlowercase
Shhh