Shut up and take my money!

Oct 23, 2020 12:30 AM

bdanpseudology

Views

89437

Likes

3717

Dislikes

55

Look in can make him wink ;)

https://www.facebook.com/100005641178045/posts/1420914258106600/

And that's how the wife found out that u bang hookers. The amount of pussy/day, my dick would be multicoloured mesh of figures #nopretty ?

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"So you didn't sleep with anyone else?" Then where did the 4 batman logos come from steve?"

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I hear they're gonna roll out this brand shortly

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yo, Reptar on my ding-dong? Where do I invest?

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I want a slinky one. For obvious reasons

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

pretty sure at best most would get an inchworm

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I hope is a hundred dollars bill so I can watch my money grow.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Sounds awesome cause who doesn’t want a shriveled dinosaur on their dick?

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That would deff make life difficult for the cheaters out there lol like where tf that bear come from? Lol

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Today I learned dinosaurs go nuts for dudes with tattoos on their dicks.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What’s the point? When you take it off your dinosaur is like 30 seconds away from being shrunk down to a tadpole

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Wtf is that on your dick? Get it wet and you'll find out

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My T-rex ... is now a Compy. *Heads to fridge*

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'd vote for that!!! lol

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm already moister than an oyster

5 years ago | Likes 76 Dislikes 3

Too much gravy?

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

No such thing

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Dino dick does it?

5 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

You know it baby

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I made something similar. Olympic condoms. The silver outsells the gold because the ladies want the guys to come second.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

this made me chuckle out loud during breakfast

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That'd be one sloppy ass dino

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

"Sweetie, why is there a T-Rex on your dick? Who've you been fucking?"

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Plesiosaurus.

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I’d have a sleeve in one day for sure

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It’s like getting a sticker congratulating you for having sex. I’m on board with this

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Make the outside like the candy that colours your tongue

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Here you go

5 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

'Why does your dick say AIDS?" Give it a tug and you get Adidas. That was like middle school joke.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Look who's still in middle school!

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Id say i want them in camouflage, but i already get told that they can't see it

5 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

This would definetly make men more likely to wear one. 100%.

5 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

5 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 1

15 minutes later, the dinosaur becomes a raisin

5 years ago | Likes 1284 Dislikes 4

Penis indenting like a meteor hitting it

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

You mean a gecko

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Organic shrinkems!

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It doesn’t say “swan” it says “Saskatchewan”

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

After I tell my wife I'm gonna bury my smilodon in her tarpit I doubt I'll be able to use them again

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

But it is is a long neck to start with, then turns into a ducky yep yep yep

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I feel bad for whoever gets the little foot.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

As I live and breathe! RAISIN?!

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Your right, it needs to be a sentance, something witty that would shrink into a word

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 4

Well Mr Penisman, it seems the public is divided on the subject

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Yeah, at least 4 people who dont have the penis for a whole sentence

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm not too familiar with the mechanics but isn't 15 minutes between "no longer needing a condom" and "losing your erection" a bit long?

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Besides most of us fall asleep right after. So you wouldn't notice til the next morning lol

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

Good one, but there’s no need to make the rest of us feel inadequate mr big shot 15 minutes

5 years ago | Likes 345 Dislikes 1

Doesn't make me feel bad....i totally have a sex...like all the time...so many a sex being had...with women even.

5 years ago | Likes 55 Dislikes 0

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yes this is my girlfriend, Pamela. Pamela Handerson.

5 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

Mary Palm and her five friends

5 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Y'all are getting minutes?

5 years ago | Likes 124 Dislikes 0

Gotta get the ones with the numbing gel in them, or drink whiskey but not too much. It’s a slippery slope to whiskey dick.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

For me whiskey wiener means I never reach the mountain top. Good for the ladies

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

With alcohol I can't even make it past the mountain base...

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

More like 0.5 minutes

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Microminutes

5 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

? ??? ?? ??? ????

5 years ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 0

It was a TUCK!

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Awesome reference. Love that episode. +1

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Stack of dimes

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Pair of dimes...

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Sounds like a good way to get caught cheating...

5 years ago | Likes 266 Dislikes 22

wtf is a condom?

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Unless the cheater goes raw

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Good

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I like it

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Tattoo: Property of [insert name]

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

Trying to make sure people know where you're coming from?

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Not if you use one daily.

5 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

"So you didn't sleep with anyone else? Then where did the 2 batman logos, the unicorn, and the dragon come from steve?"

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Found the cheater

5 years ago | Likes 71 Dislikes 6

?not the case, just playing devils advocate

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 29

Do you know what that means?

5 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 5

Yeah, obviously.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 8

Dressing up as Rudy Giuliani?

5 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Here’s a workaround: don’t cheat.

5 years ago | Likes 343 Dislikes 7

False just make sure you don't go past third base.

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 56

Me assuming you’re just making a joke

5 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Life hack

5 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

But it's so hard!

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You absolute genius!

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

5 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 0

Here's another workaround: be poly ;)

5 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 16

I dont know why you are getting downvoted. I have a really healthy open relationship witt my gf. Its all about communication.

5 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 3

I've watched a couple "poly" relationships. I've never seen them for long term though I'm sure they exist. 1/2

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

2/2 people catch feelings and then end hard because one or both aren't thinking long term.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He's getting down voted because you can't just "be poly." For some it isn't a choice to be monogamous. That's just who they are.

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Just make sure your partner is too.

5 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

Or at least OK with it.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0