Today I was supposed to be a dad

Mar 23, 2017 11:38 AM

talleyman

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393201

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20866

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5454

This is my little girl, Elizabeth Brave. She was born at 18.5 weeks on Oct. 23rd. Today, March 23rd was supposed to be her due date. She's dressed in blue because we thought she was a boy until after the medical examination.

She lived for 15min after she was born. She had 10 fingers, 10 toes, all with finger and toenails. I wish I could have walked her down the aisle, held her when she was scared, took her to her first day of school, but I thank God for the 15min I had with her. Today's gonna be rough, but I wanted to share my little girl with you today, imgur, because she was beautiful and I never want her to be forgotten.

FP Edit: Thank you for all the supporting messages and comments. My wife and I greatly appreciate them more than you know.

To those who have attempted to shame/guilt me or have expressed disgust; I forgive your ignorance. I pray you never have to go through this. This is my baby and these are the only pictures I have of her. I imagine that if she were to have looked more "normal" then the response wouldn't have been so negative, but the only reason she's so red is because she hadn't developed any fat. She's a baby just like any other but a little less developed. Watch your words because they stab worse than any sword.

FP Edit Edit: Man, who knew you could feel so much love from a bunch of strangers on the internet. Hold your babies tight today and get them some ice-cream. I thank you all from the deepest places of my heart for the kind messages and comments and for getting rid of the hateful garbage that was in the comments section. Y'all are pretty awesome.

As fathers, this is what we all fear for the rest of our lives: that we will outlive our children no matter how long that may be. I'm sorry.

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 2

Be there for each other. Get help if you need it. Heartbreaking

9 years ago | Likes 62 Dislikes 6

As the father of two - I cannot imagine. My condolences.

9 years ago | Likes 96 Dislikes 13

Hang in there fella, I hope your missus is ok too. Cherish those 15 mins and stay strong.

9 years ago | Likes 103 Dislikes 15

I lost my 1st daughter after 15 days. Time does heal the loss and the sorrow you feel. It's been 29 years tomorrow that we lost her...

9 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 5

Check out the organisation www.sayinggoodbye.org they really helped my friend through her angel. @op

9 years ago | Likes 53 Dislikes 6

This breaks my heart, friend. As a father - this saddens me beyond words :'-( and maybe we can all value life a bit more. Sending love, bro

9 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 3

My birthday is October 23rd... I'll light an extra candle this year for her.

9 years ago | Likes 120 Dislikes 16

Youre AWESOME!

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 4

Been a long time lurker here on imgur but after seeing this post I had to sign up to comment. I teared up so much . Sorry for your loss

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 2

"supposed" to be a dad? You are a dad.

9 years ago | Likes 58 Dislikes 7

I agree–you're a dad. Celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day. You took care of her for the time you were allowed. "Thank you, daddy"

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

We lost our first child at Twenty-three weeks. His name was Jesse. Life is precious and fleeting.

9 years ago | Likes 135 Dislikes 20

I'm sorry, friend. *virtual hug*

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

It was a very long time ago but really you never forget. But you move on.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 72 Dislikes 11

My mother had 10 miscarriages, and I was born at 23 weeks. I can only imagine your pain. Stay strong. You are an amazing father!

9 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 4

Wow!!! 23 weeks!! You're a miracle! So don't do drugs! ???? you're here for a reason

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 8

Kinda sounds like something tried telling her it wasn't supposed to be, but good for her.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 3

I have a friend who has a similar story. Her mom named her Heaven because she was her mom's miracle from heaven

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 6

Fuck the downvote fairy. Your friend's existence is worth neutral points at least!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's fucking awful, OP. I'm sorry this happened to you and her mom. I hope you're blessed with a child that you can love and raise.

9 years ago | Likes 1228 Dislikes 68

Are there really people out there talking shit?!??!?!

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

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[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Mar 24, 2017 8:18 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Cunt I bet your face looks worse than that.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

.

9 years ago | Likes 67 Dislikes 278

I don't understand why this is such a negative comment...?

9 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 3

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[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Dec 29, 2017 8:24 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Yes. Context please!

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 2

For everyone wondering why this dot is getting downvoted, you need to know that it means that the user has the intention to return to 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 95 Dislikes 1

this comment at a later time for some reason. Since nobody can discover said reason here, it's getting downvoted. 2/2

9 years ago | Likes 91 Dislikes 1

Looks like his username is not so relevant eh?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I read it as "I am putting this dot here so that when you DO have a healthy kiddo, I'll hear about it"

9 years ago | Likes 59 Dislikes 1

Me too, but that wouldn't really make sense, right? I'm really curious as to why they dotted this.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 2

Why was the dot bad?

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

Isn't it JustSoObvious

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

It wasn't, really. I guess some people thought it was out of place.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

A lot of people put the dot on sexual posts. Maybe they thought it was a tasteless joke

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

how's her mom?

9 years ago | Likes 255 Dislikes 21

Sorry Mom & Dad, I wish you guys the best. From your words, you seem strong and I'm certain you're supportive as well.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

She's doing well. Physically she healed very quickly, but mentally it took her a while to grieve and today has brought a lot of that back.

9 years ago | Likes 334 Dislikes 5

i wish you two all the strength an love it takes to get through this together. can't possibly imagine how it feels.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

I would imagine for both of you the time after this was very rough and is still today found with rough days ;_(

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Be strong and keep talking.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Im so sorry for both of your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you both and your daughter will be watching over the both of you ❤

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

All my love to you and your wife, OP. From Perth, Western Australia. You are a Dad! And always will be. RIP your sweet little baby ~Hugs~

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I once thought I'd had a miscarriage. (Very late period, odd tissue in it) it takes a long time to get over even if it was a false alarm.

9 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 11

Look, I've had a miscarriage myself. But I don't think it's OK to compare a heavy "odd" period to OP losing a once living baby. Insensitive.

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 43

personally I feel like rather than 'comparing' she was making a point that even a false alarm can be heartbreaking and an actual -->

9 years ago | Likes 53 Dislikes 2

miscarriage is by far amplified above that. If it takes a long time to get over a false alarm, they must know that an actual miscarriage -->

9 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 0

The anniversaries are the hardest for me. The day I lost them, their due date and 10 years later Mother's Day still fucking sucks.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The anniversaries are the hardest for me. The day I lost them, their due date and 10 years later Mother's Day still fucking sucks.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 42 Dislikes 2

Mayi know the sauce please?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

That's Game of Thrones. Season 1 I believe.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Game of Thrones, scene where Arya has to basically say bye to her Direwolf due to reasons I'm not gonna spoil.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You need more but this is all i can send

9 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 7

I have pictures of me holding my son when he was born early and didn't make it. It's hard. But you'll get through it.

9 years ago | Likes 1085 Dislikes 52

Pics?

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 67

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[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Aug 15, 2017 4:54 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Nate the gay

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Lol!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 4

I lost my son at 22 weeks. You are a father and always will be. I am so sorry for your loss. I am here if you need to talk.

9 years ago | Likes 2750 Dislikes 74

22 Weeks, CMV. It's an extremely common cause of stillbirth. https://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/25/health/cmv-cytomegalovirus-pregnancy.html

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Sending lots of hugs

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

This really goes to show the ups and downs of imgur. We can all stop for a second to support someone, even a dad with a UN of corgibuttnubs

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

I lost my baby girl at 23 weeks. I have a son now who I love above all else but I think about her daily.

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1

17 weeks. Molar pregnancy. We are trying again.

9 years ago | Likes 223 Dislikes 2

Just make sure both parties are ready for that.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 7

I had a molar pregnancy too but they managed to catch it at 4 weeks, made me very ill

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

That's really far along for a molar pregnancy! I hope you are ok.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

I had a molar pregnancy too. They found it at 9 weeks. After a total of 6 losses we finally had a healthy boy in 2015. Don't give up hope.

9 years ago | Likes 108 Dislikes 2

I adopted a year and a half ago after a miscarriage and immediately got pregnant like 5 minutes later. It was the best thing to ever happen

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Congrats on your baby boy. Out of curiosity and respect, why did t you try adoption after a few failed attempts? No rudeness intended!

9 years ago | Likes 50 Dislikes 2

We pursued it and still are. But I really wanted to be pregnant and have a child.

9 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 2

I commend you on your efforts, both with adopting and having a child of your own. It feels so unfair to me that I'm carrying a baby while

9 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 2

If you don't mind me asking (we are trying to get pregnant) is there any particular reason son was lost at 22 weeks? Any info is appreciated

9 years ago | Likes 57 Dislikes 2

Incompetent cervix. I went into labor that they couldn't stop. The pregnancy that was successful envolved stitches in cervix and bed rest.

9 years ago | Likes 45 Dislikes 1

This is unrelated to miscarriage, but rather advice for conceiving. Regular sex improves sperm count and ensures that available sperm are

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 3

Newer, more mobile, and more chromosomally normal. Having sex at least once every other day will greatly improve your chances.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

Thanks for the tip. I am kinda worried because I used to be (recently quit) a heavy pot smoker. So I'm hoping that won't cause any issues !

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I wouldn't worry much. My fiancé and I smoke weed moderately often and got pregnant despite iud, but baby didn't make it past extraction. :(

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Unfortunately I don't know much about how that will impact you. Neither my husband nor I has had anything stronger than caffeine.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

regular everyday potsmoker for the past 11 years here, wife is at 26 weeks. hey, if snoop dogg can have kids, so can you.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I feel like it's so rare to hear how fathers cope after something like this. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

9 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 1

It's not fair that men aren't allowed to mourn like women. FYI October 15 is International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

A random comment from a complete stranger probably on the other side of the world but I want to send you a ton of sincere & heartfelt love

9 years ago | Likes 252 Dislikes 24

To Emily Brave. Wind to thy wings, little sister.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

'I forgive your ignorance'. You are the better man, OP. Thoughts and prayers from mine to yours.

9 years ago | Likes 250 Dislikes 52

I don't think it's ignorance. I think it's the disturbing photo of the dead baby.

9 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 80

No, that line is why I didn't upvote him. We don't need that passive agressive arrogant bullshit. He suffered a loss so he wont...

9 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 131

That's harsh, but something off about posting a photo of a discolored, dead baby and expecting strangers to be supportive.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 31

Well the majority don't seem to agree with you on that

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 8

To be fair it is probably split. You just don't see it bc its buried under bad comment section

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Actually no I've read almost all the comments I saw the post before it ever hit front page

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 5

...get downvotes from me but that wasn't cool. Anyone else I would downvote for that snarky proud tone.

9 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 98

Dude you're literally as hypocritical as it gets. You're the reason he wrote that.

9 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 7

That's not passive aggressiveness man, that's pain and well managed rage. Don't talk shit about other ppl's kids, otherwise you're garbage.

9 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 11

Time and a place dude. Vent somewhere else cause right here right now this ain't it.

9 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 14

Seeing things like this helps me keep my life and problems in perspective . Oh my 10 yr old didn't put his dishes away? A customer ......

9 years ago | Likes 192 Dislikes 22

....yelled at me? Who cares. Don't sweat the small stuff. People are dealing with some hardcore shit day to day. All the best OP. Take care

9 years ago | Likes 118 Dislikes 3

Yup. Had a hard day at work today but you know what, tomorrow is my son's birthday and I'm leaving work early to make him a cake. My (1/2)

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

work problems can wait and my boss will be fine without me today, I'm not gonna let anything get me down. I have too much to be grateful for

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Yes, it's a virtue to be grateful for your struggles because somebody out there could have a burden greater than you can imagine. Bless

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1

I understand what you are saying and completely agree with it. However it's like saying you can't be happy because some else is happier.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I'm not saying that at all. It should give you some solace that's all, not guilt.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

As heart breaking as this post is, I agree with you, all things are relative to your own situation.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

But maybe it can make you realize that things aren't as bad as you make it out to be

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

"I wish I could have...held her when she was scared" In a way, you did. You provided comfort through her entire life.

9 years ago | Likes 124 Dislikes 7

Stop cutting onions. Jesus, it's heartbreaking to think of, but you're right.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This is the comment that destroyed me.

9 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 1

Yes

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I hope @OP takes this comment to heart...spot on.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This is actually amazingly beautiful. :'(

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I hope @OP takes this comment to heart...spot on.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I hope the mum is healthy and well.

9 years ago | Likes 2819 Dislikes 65

This. Hug her for us?

9 years ago | Likes 516 Dislikes 5

I don't think she's well but I hope she's healthy.

9 years ago | Likes 107 Dislikes 1

The sad truth

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Off of the generally obligatory "soo.... she single?" That imgur usually ironically generates here, THIS. 100x this. I hope you two are well

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 8

I hope mom is okay. She's going to need you a lot. Give her lots of cuddles ans hugs. Prayers for the 3 of you.

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 2

Its just as important that Dad is looked after. My husband took our daughters death worse than I did.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

She must be hurting too.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

My parents' 1st only lived for a few days. She wouldve been 30 & even now they say they have 4 daughters, not 3. I think it helps her to 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 1

(2/2) tell people and not try to hide it or let herself feel diminished by it.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

I have 3 siblings that didn't make it. It doesn't get easier

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Almost cried on the bus.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

When my friends lost their sweet Ezra at 18 weeks I sent her a little bracelet with an E on it. Your wife may like something like that.

9 years ago | Likes 66 Dislikes 1

Yes. When I had my miscarriage my obgyn told me I should get the birthstone of the month I lost my baby... Something to remember him by.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

PS. With a cerclage they went on to have a beautiful baby girl who is about to turn 1!

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

TIL what cerclage is. Very interesting

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Is there anyway to know/ask beforehand if that's something you may need?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

It's been said to never shy away from a loving gesture or " how are you doing?" because they're probably already thinking of him/her.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm sorry. I misunderstood what you were asking. Yes! A diagnoses of incompetent cervix.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Thank you, we may try and start a family in a bit and I'm trying to get an idea for what to ask

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

In some ways it legitimizes their pain. "I see you are hurting and I'm hurting with you and thinking of you". That loss was REAL.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This. Please take care of her.

9 years ago | Likes 139 Dislikes 5

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[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted May 22, 2017 1:27 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Haven't seen that many downvotes on a comment for a while

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Ya know, I understand grief can be met with humor, but that is just a tasteless remark.

9 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

The comment was deleted. What did it say? I understand if it was too awful to repeat, but I'm curious.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

it said, send nudes

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Well that is pretty fucked up.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Fuck off dude.

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 2

What did he say?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

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[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted May 30, 2017 6:19 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

It's disappointing to see that nothing remains inviolate on the internet.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

fuck you lassann

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

What did he say (fuck lassann)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"technically still milf nudes"

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

There's something very wrong with you two.

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1

what did he say?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The worst things :(

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I mean, it is lassann.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Perhaps... Still, doesn't mean it shouldn't be said.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm 15 weeks pregnant and I feel like my body has a very tenuous grasp on the baby. You've lived my greatest fear. My heart bleeds for you.

9 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 5

Agreed I'm 7 weeks and my boyfriends mother had a stillbirth 4 months ago. I'm terrified.I always thought this would be one of the fun part

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

It's absolutely hard, especially at the beginning. I don't think it's fun until you can feel the baby move. That's when I can relax a little

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

But really it's the most worrisome

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Long time lurker, first time posting. My wife and I lost our daughter Paloma @ 39 weeks gestation. Worst fucking feeling ever. Don't stop

9 years ago | Likes 96 Dislikes 9

Oh that truly breaks my heart. Have you had any successful pregnancies since?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Yes we now have 2 beautiful children.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

39 weeks! That must have been so hard on you both. I'm so sorry.

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 2

8 years later we still celebrate her birthday.

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 2

A lot better than a suicide at 28 years.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 48

Wasn't measuring dicks, just trying to help a fellow imgurian with their sorrow.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 8

Don't compare grief, any loss of a loved one is a tragic and hard experience no matter who or when.

9 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 2

I have to disagree, with all due respect, it can get worse. We sell ourselves on the idea of relativity of pain as a comfort to our egos

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 18

But.. What, it's supposed to make the dude you replied to feel better? 'Well that pain is worse, so... Buck up, mate.' I mean, really?

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Ohhh man, i'm so, so sorry :( My wife lost 6 babies, but never that late. I could not even try to feel what you lived that day. :(

9 years ago | Likes 104 Dislikes 12

I'm so sorry for your loss that must have been hard

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

It's worst for my wife... I need to be her rock so she can go through it :). Still it's not easy at all.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I can't even imagine the pain of dealing with that kind of loss 6 times. I'm very sorry and hope you and your wife are well.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

If I may ask a personal question, do you have any other kids? I'm just curious, putting herself through that so many times shows (1/2)

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

how much she wanted kids and how great of a mom she would be. You're amazing for helping her through every one of them, that's for sure.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

No, we don't have any. I'm 36 and she's 34 we've not given hope yet but I'm not desillusionnal either. We'll won't stop yet.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Don't give up! Consider all your options. You deserve to be parents :)

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My wife&I lost 4 (1 at 12 weeks,twins at 17 &the twin of our now 4month old).It doesn't get easier,but at least the nightmares have stopped.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

As titswaggle said, you deserve to be parents and some lucky kids deserve to have you, whether they're yours by blood or not :)

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This guy just lost some big hopes and dreams and all imgur can think about is "Omg I'm so grossed out!!" Grow a pair, imgur.

9 years ago | Likes 358 Dislikes 108

While I understand and respect his loss, I wasn't expecting images of a deceased child on the front page.

9 years ago | Likes 45 Dislikes 6

Honestly, I do think Imgur needs some sort of content warning option that can be turned on or off by the user.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Are you seeing the same comment field as I am?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ya'know I just don't go to imgur to see dead babies. Maybe that's your thing, I'm not judging, but it's not for me.

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 6

It's not what I really expected to see today either. Not knocking OP at all, just wish Imgur would add a content warning option for users.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

All i can think of is how premature babies look like ayyy lmaos

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 61

I was really pissed to find out there was a need for his long edit start with "To those"

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 7

I'm not saying I nessasaraly agree with the logic, but most people do feel bad for him, just don't really want pics of the baby......

9 years ago | Likes 52 Dislikes 17

Totally fair. But there's no need to leave comments to make OP's time *worse* when you can simply hit next or step away from the computer.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 3

Emotional needs of parent with deceased child > collective discomfort of imgurians who don't like gross pictures

9 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 13

Even then, the people calling her "gross" for simply being less developed than they're used to seeing are the real disgusting ones.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Imgur puts up some gnarly pics or poorly treated dogs that are so bad they make me literally look away and they have a problem with this?

9 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 13

Hey, I'm just saying what I see other people saying. I never said I agreed with it.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

Dead children are more taboo in society than abused animals.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

None of us want that here

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 61

I didn't downvote you, but I def disagree with you. I think the photos are fascinating and beautiful .

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 6

Seems like a lot of sincerely supportive people don't mind it.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 5

Try tumblr then, it's really better for those kind of posts. You know, the not funny part

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 14

Try a proctologist then, to help you get your head out of your ass. This site is for all sorts of things.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Allright I understand. I'll make sure to post here as soon as someone around me dies so we'll enjoy that together

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Speak for yourself cunt

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

you want dead babies on frontpage?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

It even makes you aggressive :)

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

This isn't Reddit.

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 111

Seems like I've hit a nerve haha

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 44

Don't give them a chance to downvote you twice

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 4

There's a story category, you twat. If you don't like it, don't brows in usersub...

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 11

I'm not in usersub, cunt. Go read what twistedupinsidemymind said above. Plus there isnt even a nsfw marking, seriously?

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 37

Umm...this is first item FP currently, dude.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Its not that its gross, its how inappropriate it is. His kid dies and his first reaction is to post its corpse on imgur. Fucked priorities

9 years ago | Likes 70 Dislikes 223

I agree with you...sorta. Because people are fucked up so he could be fishing for upvotes, sick as that sounds. That said...

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 12

...giving him them don't do anything bad for us. If he isn't lying he could use the support.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

I bet if that same pic was used fir some stupid meme with jokes on it you wouldn't mind

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 6

No they would t

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Wouldn't

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yes they would

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's called empathy. You should try it

9 years ago | Likes 66 Dislikes 15

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Dec 29, 2017 7:02 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Photos at funerals aren't uncommon in some places in the WOD.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

World*

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Please do some weekend at bernies shit

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 5

I don't think there is any issues with sharing pictures of loved ones. I've seen quite a few coffin shots on here. Death is a part of living

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This guy is going through an extremely traumatic moment and wants to reach out to his community for support. He's not posting for FB asshole

9 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 12

Hope your genitals rot off.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 7

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Mar 26, 2017 11:27 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

You're right, my pointing out how inappropriate it is to post a picture of a dead child definitely warrants my own child dying. Cheers!

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 30

Saying people deserve dead children. What a nice and measured response.....

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

He's allowed to be a proud daddy just like anyone else. It's months later.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

It's been five months. It's the date she should have been born. Some people need to share and get support and let her not be forgotten.

9 years ago | Likes 101 Dislikes 13

On Facebook. To friends and family. Not a community of memelords who will comment utter atrocities. It's asking for abuse.

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 44

Sometimes people need the anonymity. Facebook is full of friends, family, acquaintances who'll be all up in your business after the fact.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

And these are the consequences of sharing grief. That's why most of us learn to bottle that shit up until we trust people.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Just because some of yall are dick cheese doesn't mean many of us aren't good people.

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 4

Idc how many downvotes you get for this, thank you. I hate he's going through that but come one. This isn't the place.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

Come on*

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

you're a father and she will always be your first born, keep every memory in your heart no matter how short your time with her was

9 years ago | Likes 7192 Dislikes 185

Great response for the post !

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 3

Your journey as a add started the day your baby girl was conceived, she may have only been out the womb for 15 mins. But she we will

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

https://www.sayinggoodbye.org/ I also want to make sure people who also have suffered a loss of a baby know this website exists.

9 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 1

This is so important!

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

Thanks for your support. The people that run this organisation are truly amazing. So much compassion love and support.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

The above comment is all you need.

9 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 2

Always be in your heart for the rest of your time, you are a DAD, congrats on a beautiful baby girl. Follow her in dreams.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

If you haven't named her yet, do so. And don't give it to your next daughter.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 3

Love you. You're a good person.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Your Daughter is beautiful. Thank you for sharing her with me. You are a good father for this.

9 years ago | Likes 71 Dislikes 6

fuck you, dont lie to be polite, what he did its exploiting his grieve for sympathy ? wtf its wrong with the world!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 4

I'm pretty sure you're what's wrong, sensitive little snowflake. Fuck off and let him share his story.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Dude, I enjoyed the post. People all grieve differently. If his process is sharing that she existed I support it.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I've never read more truer words than I have right now

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Amen to this.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

No one can ever say you are not a father you are and f2ffoing a great job so far, live on for her.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

Why is the hat so small ?

9 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 79

I wasn't expecting this. I almost spit my mountain dew all over my keyboard

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 5

Usually hospitals with NICUs have volunteers that make tiny hats for the preemies born there. It's probably big enough for a 24 or 25 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Week baby which would have a "pretty good" chance of surviving

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

I'm not sure that is a good a idea. He will only recall sadness.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 5

What's with the "first born" thingy? All children are equal.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 56

It's a special bond. You "grow up" with your first, become a parent and another level of adult. You have different experiences with them

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

That's just discrimination. All kids should be treated 100% equally.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Agreed, but I think the point here is "She will always be counted among your children", even if other people don't see it that way.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

You should just.... You know, shut the fck up.

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 6

Yeah! People should only say things we agree with! This open exchange of ideas, questions, and differing opinions is repugnant.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 12

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 4

Well you can say whatever you want, but don't be a dick to a man who just lost a child.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

This is the so very true. Your family is in my heart.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

As one Dad, to another, I'm so sorry for your loss.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

The hospital was awesome and gave us a memory box. We're going to plant a garden at her grave today. Thanks for the support kind stranger

9 years ago | Likes 1753 Dislikes 27

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 20

Seriously, fk any1 trying to shame you. She will always be your daughter and should be treated as such. This is a beautiful memorial, OP.

9 years ago | Likes 78 Dislikes 6

Our memory box is on our shelf in the bedroom, next to his urn. PM me if you need to talk to someone. I lost my first too.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

We planted a tree in our yard because we weren't able to plant anything at the gravesite.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

She was beautiful. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Unfortunatly we can relate. Our Sophie was born at 23 weeks. Elizabeth will have a friend to play with.

9 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 1

Take lots of pictures now so you'll have something for the future

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

This was last October

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

Stay strong man! That's just horrible. I would wish that on no one.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Wish you all the best.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

http://imgur.com/t/miscarriage this is an awful tag but you can find plenty of others to talk with on these other posts if you need to.

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 2

My thoughts are with you, man. You are the best father and you comforted and loved your child. I know that u & ur wife will get through this

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Respect for the dead, thats all i can say, he/she deserves to rest in peace, but no; now the internet have the dead photos for ever

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 5

So sorry for you and mom. Embrace what happened for what it was. Talk about her, smile and cry for her. Don't keep it inside. Best wishes

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Please, get grief counseling for you and your wife/gf. My brother and his ex did not and it destroyed their relationship and she turned

9 years ago | Likes 379 Dislikes 2

to alcohol to cope. He didn't do any better, even though he IS doing better now.

9 years ago | Likes 255 Dislikes 1

This! I've seen people just go completely insane from losing a baby. I've seen some even go as far as to neglect other children they have

9 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

The worst part is that she is still in denial that she needs counseling. It will be 5 years in August and she is at the bars every single>>

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

She was born at 4.5 months, literally half how long a pregnancy is supposed to last. I didn't even realize that was possible. Fuck.

9 years ago | Likes 511 Dislikes 38

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Mar 24, 2017 1:31 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Sometimes shit just goes wrong, quite often in fact between 10 and 45%, risk incresing with older mothers.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

You didn't realize pregnancy complications were possible?

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 38

Bit fucking harsh, mate, under the circumstances.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah, I didn't see the previous post. I thought they were referencing another comment, not a personal experience. My giant fucking mistake.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

No worries :)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Mar 24, 2017 1:31 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Came here to post months. Nobody counts time in weeks.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 19

You count months after like 20 weeks post-birth...

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

OBGYNs and Labor and Delivery nurses do.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Almost everybody I know that is/has been pregnant measured it in weeks. That is a more accurate track of development than months.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

My babies were born at 19 weeks. One was stillborn, the other lived about 5 minutes.

9 years ago | Likes 207 Dislikes 5

So so sorry. Hugs.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm so sorry :(

9 years ago | Likes 64 Dislikes 2

I am very sorry that that happened to you.

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

:(

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I'm sorry for your loss.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Fucking hell :(

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

And this is why I am almost afraid to have children. I don't know how I'd handle going through something like this.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I was born prematurely today, but not as premature as this baby...

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Yeah, I was born at 27 weeks as a twin, neither my brother's lungs or mine functioned at all during birth and both of us turned out (1/2)

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

relatively fine,my brother is able to run something like a 5:20mile and I'm reasonably healthy.Health sci is only going to get better(2/2)

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I'm happy for you. Science has gone far.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wow, I was lucky then born at 26 weeks to a 44yo mum, in 1967. No NICU, just a humidicrib, and no parental visits. Many premature babies in

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well, today 17 years ago.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

I was about to say, they're giving anyone imgur accounts these days...

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

perhaps gives someone out there some perspective about late term abortions..

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 40

Late term? 18 weeks is still fairly early crazily enough.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 4

Dude, not the time or place to push your political agenda. Have some class and tact.

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 4

Your an ass

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

*You're. Insults are a bit more effective when well written.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And almost ALWAYS in late term abortions, that child is wanted more than anything, but it is an issue of medical safety.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

So then what's the big deal with changing "almost" to "always?" Plus this sadly wouldn't even be close to being considered late term.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

So then what's the big deal with changing "almost" to "always?"

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Because it reduces access. You have people disagreeing about degrees of 'awful enough' and fearing legal reprecussions should they come *c*

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*c* down on the 'wrong' side of the line - as determined in hindsight. Canada doesn't have such laws and a woman still had problems *c*

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Or suffering. Delivery, especially with certain complications, is traumatic to both mom and fetus.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Exactly

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Mar 24, 2017 4:18 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

There are no late abortions that aren't medically necessary.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 7

There are indeed, at least here in Canada.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 4

I'm sure you have proof of this, outside of it being theoretically possible.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

This is Imgur, not a scholarly debate. Google it. I'm too lazy to but I know it's there. I live there after all.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 5

People who have abortions at 18 weeks, in the vast majority of cases, want that baby more than anything.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 3

I can't imagine having to make that decision.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

which almost never happen, so good job being irrelevant i guess?

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 4

This wasn't a case of an abortion. It was a severely premature birth, dumping that accusation onto someone who didn't want this (pt. 1)

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

I'm aware this isn't an abortion. I'm using this and alluding to another topic.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 9

Alright, that's very understandable, and I will commend you for that. But this post isn't a very appropriate place to make that allusion on.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

to happen is very cruel to do. I don't agree with people who get abortions at all, but it is still saddening to se this forced onto (pt. 2)

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Other people. Even if it had been an abortion, they didn't want to lose this baby. They're heartbroken accusations pour salt on the wound.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Late abortions only happen when it is dangerous to the mothers life, or the baby is not going to survive. Fuck off and read a book.

9 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 6

Yeah you got rekt by another user in the first reply. Might want to read a book yourself moron.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

That depends where you live... legal at any point in the pregnancy in Canada

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 11

Stating a fact, not taking a side. Didn't realize that straight facts get downvoted now...

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 7

Welcome to Imgur and it's insanely left community.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 5

Do you really fucking think a woman wakes up in her 8th month and is just "eh, im not feeling this anymore. Abortion time!"? Fuck off.

9 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 6

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Mar 28, 2017 4:49 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Another tolerant Liberal telling me to that "fuck off" is an argument. Yes here in Canada you can get an abortion right up before birth.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 11

So a mother waits months and thinks oh no I jav3 a baby maybe I'll just get an abortion on the day before my labor. No, it's almost purely

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I'm not explaining individual's thinking I'm talking about the law of the land. Separate the 2.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

Med8cal if they get an abo4tion in the last trimester

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You don't have to be a liberal to respect a woman's right not to die in labor.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That's not even what I'm talking about. I'm talking about optional abortions not medically necessary ones.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 4