xDamper
122009
3475
539
During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."
Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.
When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"
This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!
When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."
The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"
This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!
After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.
This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!
The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."
This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.
The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"
This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"
The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.
This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!
So who are the real robbers her
Alphadauug
Very gripping
opc3000
This post is called conflating...lol.
circlebreaker
Go away, Yahoo-era e-mail thread joke. Eat some shit when you get there.
UmbrellaCorps
You should read more things...
RockImgr
Now forward this to ten people you care about and your crush will fall in love with you.
Squirtiebot
Nobody mention the "e" that got stolen from the end of the description.
CountSnarkula
The central bank who controls the inflation rate.
rymnadeau
You had me until here* was spelled wrong
Craftylefty47
Her
Goodmerlinpeen
you used to tell the truth but now you're clever.
riggeroo
Stealing is stealing. Some chumps just stole more than the other chumps.
iamjacksboredmind
Yeah, like this post stole two minutes of my life from me.
StreaksOnTheChinaNeverMatteredBefore
AkimboMajestic
Thanks Facebook!
theonetrueCronos
Or, we get ourselves jobs at the bank to scope it out. Every couple weeks the bank will put some money in our accounts & over years it adds
balmut
its like they're paying us not to rob them!
terryr
They got 20 million for a few minutes work. WTF with the bitching? And why are Chinese banks using $$$dollars?
iLynux
Same reason all of the robbers are speaking English.
SFCrawNik
TL:DR Be a bank manager and steal money when you get robbed.
questionableanswers
Someone watched Heat...
iqTpi
When I started reading this I was interested. Now I am not.
SerTall
It was a cool insight until they started asking, "now whos the real thief?" They all are. Thats a dumb question.
FutureHylian
At first i thought it was coverage of an actual event, then i thought it was building up to an amazing punchline, now im just dissapointed.
LemmiwinksKingofGerbils
This is called "@OP faggotry"
YouRadicalizedMe
Lol. Haha and another lol. Still going. Lol
brianclementsvatua
Who are the real robbers her?
asrai86
it was the woman on the table all along!
brianclementsvatua
Distracted them with her provocative pose.
ocean123456
Op for stealing this damn story
pangyre
Who are the real robbers her, indeed?! Poor she…
NeonArlecchino
A lot of people could've used this as a base for their business, ethics, and/or philosophy papers a few weeks ago...
Residualfail
Now imagine what happens when the robbers are caught and its found that they only got away with $20m.
Glumerlink
it'll be assumed they stashed the rest and through "enhanced interrogation" they may even admit to it
Vazhox
Kept my interest till the very end... +1
MauriceSpangle
I believe it was the NUT RUBBERS
LTMmusic
Definitely the nut rubbers
MauriceSpangle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFobb7n7AzE
AlltheSarcasm87
Robbery implies possible violence, the banker is just a thief...
NovemberBravo
was expecting a tree fiddy
retsaoter
It takes many years to become a bank manager and several more to be able to embezzle $80 mill. The robbers have only months invested.
StupidManThing
so you mean given enough time the robbers could be at par with the manager?
retsaoter
This is called opportunity cost.
CaroleBaskins
What I learnt in college finally being applied! I thought I'd never see the day :')
DontWantToBotherFindingAGoodUsername
happy to see your student loan helped you understanding a story on imgur
ruferto
this is called Teacher Somewhere Smilling
DefinitelyNotAdolfHitler
This is called "following OP's lead."
ruferto
TheGrinchStoleYourShit
pretty sure stealing money is just bad but okay
DishonorablyDischargedGrammerNazi
What about stealing presents?
TacoPrime
What about eating tacos?
blueluck
Stealing presents is grinchy. Anyone who would do that is a bad banana with a greasy black peel!
Denvercoder09
Touchy subject. Not going to touch this with a 35.5 foot pole
nihilistdad
What does "bad" mean in regard to actions? I don't understand the concept.
HieronymousFlex
Generally considered to have a negative impact on society or the people around you.
nihilistdad
Oh, okay. Nothing to worry about, then.
ruferto
most crimes are bad if you get caught
DrYoloMcSwagmasterIIIEsq
They're usually bad even if you don't get caught
DontWantToBotherFindingAGoodUsername
In itself, robbing a bank doesnt actually hurt anyone directly, maybe costs a bit to shareholders or such, but customers are insured
DrYoloMcSwagmasterIIIEsq
Ah, yes. No one is directly hurt, so it must be a good thing. The logic is sound
DontWantToBotherFindingAGoodUsername
I didn't say good either, and the robber didn't steal that much compared to the manager, law/criminal is not the same as good/bad
norill
it hurt everyone, even people not holding money in that bank
DontWantToBotherFindingAGoodUsername
How so ? I said it doesnt "directly" as in you don't steal from anyone but an insurance company whose job it is to to this, and no killing
nihilistdad
At least four people benefited, as long as I'm one of them it's cool.
DontWantToBotherFindingAGoodUsername
2/ of course its still stealing from someone, but its far from being the most damaging crime, at least the theft in itself.
Naeaes
No fake robbers here. Everyone who took money is a real robber.
MauriceSpangle
Nut Rubbers, not robbers
Jsupes
all these fuckers downvoting your archer quote. I got you bruh
haHAaaaaaahhh
"her" is too the robber
OneGloriousBastard
Article was click bait. Naeaes doing the Lords work. Thanks
howToLoseTheGame
Article says her can't you read
pixe1adrift
*her
GumCuzzler
are you a real robber?
obscureusername
Yep, OP stole our time and our souls with this post.
peterhjp
The lady laying on the table was robbed of her love.
peterhjp
This is called "a stupid joke".
[deleted]
[deleted]
lolzomg123
Force yes. Armed robbery happened. Then he was like "well, good as chance as any." and used someone else's force.
georgopolis
You, sir, think like an opportunist. I like you.
spudato
Just a cunt
icejanitor
By dictionary standards, he would be a larcener.
georgopolis
He was a burglar
HisExcellencyGary
just a thief
SoftFur
One could argue that abusing power (here, the responsibility and trust of being in charge of large sums of others money) is a use of force.
c1328chase
Maybe someone in their safe space might try to argue that. Like a feminist saying she was raped after being ogled. Same, different, but same
aguacatedeldiablo
Someone could argue that. If they tried it in a court of law, though, they'd be laughed out of the room.
AwkwardKeming
Larceny and robbery are different. You can be a thief but not a robber. And burglary doesn't even require theft!
DontWantToBotherFindingAGoodUsername
I doubt the point was legal semantics
c1328chase
When a person unlawfully enters or remains in a structure (dwelling place or not) with the intent to commit a felony or a theft.
AwkwardKeming
Yep! Actual theft isn't required, just the intent.
thefuckingwalrus
He was an embezller
CoBr2
I wonder if the legal penalties are the same. I will google this when I wake up. (Comment is so I remember)
awesomeface
Reply is also so you remember. Also to remind myself because I'm lazy. :)
CoBr2
Short answer, unless armed w/ deadly weapon, embezzlement has higher penalty, 5-20 years in prison. Armed w/ robbery is about the same
EverydayPaul
This says you posted this 6 hours ago, people don't sleep this long I need answers!
CoBr2
Short answer, unless armed w/ deadly weapon, embezzlement has higher penalty, 5-20 years in prison. Armed w/ robbery is about the same
MisterQuestion
Tell answer after finding.
CoBr2
Short answer, unless armed w/ deadly weapon, embezzlement has higher penalty, 5-20 years in prison. Armed w/ robbery is about the same
thefuckingwalrus
It will vary by state
CoBr2
Yeah, but the gist I found is that embezzlement is harsher unless deadly weapon involved w/ robbery, then they're equalish.