warmyourbeans
137750
4748
185
Oct 2, 2019 7:07 PM
warmyourbeans
137750
4748
185
GeeBrainWhatDoYouWantToDoTonight
Here’s to hell! May our stay there be as much fun as our way there!
PearjuiceATX
If the sea were whisky and I was a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and never come up.
RustyRelic
May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my Grandmother's teeth
REDF0RMANSF00T
If I had a dog that’d piss this stuff, and surely if he could piss enough, I’d tie him up to the bed and suck his dick til we both drop dead
CaptAguilar
Here's to favorite and forget, as usual
Jakethesnake357
YesImAGuyThatCooks
Here's to those we fucked the best, we fucked them naked, we fucked them dressed, we fucked them standing, we fucked them lyin, -1-
YesImAGuyThatCooks
-2- if they had wings we'd fuck em flying. And when they're dead and long forgotten. We'll dig them up and fuck them rotten.
Th3D00M
"To our wives, to our horses, and to those who mount them"
FitzFarseer
Jody thanks you for your well wishes
mikeatike
To toast! *raises bread*
HanktheHeliotropeShank
A toast to the toast we like the most.
JerkStoreCalling
A toast to bread for without bread we can have no toast.
MoonpilotDingo
Here's to your coffin. May it be made from the wood of a 100 year old oak tree that I will plant tomorrow.
RustyRelic
May all your ups and downs be under the sheets.
DoctorGiz
Perfection.
zenivSuperQueen
Here's to you, here's to me, friends forever we will always. If we ever happen to disagree, well fuck you here's to me.
GodCommentMaker
To Absent friends that one is right in the feels
teaforyouandme
I feel like I don’t get it? Maybe all of my friends are absent...
thatrascalpuff
I think of it as my friends who have passed, or friends you wish were there but live to far away.
RElDICULOUS
To honor. To get honor, to stay honor, and if you cant come in here, come on her.
Ihaveadjustedwell
I came here looking for this toast.
inchwormwrath
May we get what we want, may we get what we need, may we never get what we deserve.
wakkatata
To science! May we stop to think if we should.
Dryheat
whatifthiswasmyusername
There are good ships. There are wood ships. There are ships that sail the sea. But the best ships are friendships, forever may they be. 1/2
whatifthiswasmyusername
2/2 But if ever you should fuck me, then fuck you and here's to me!
WhoPutWhatInTheWhereNow
Best man's toast: They say the best man's speech should last as long as the groom on his wedding night, Good night everybody (mic drop)
HowBoutThemDawgs
.
Ihaveadjustedwell
.
azazyel
I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, when he said, "I drank what?"
APenguinInATuxedo
Hemlock
FitzFarseer
Dylan Thomas’ last words were "I've had eighteen straight whiskeys. I do believe that's a record." That’s the best toast lol
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
Was it a dream where you're standing in sort of sun-god robes surrounded by thousands of naked women screaming and throwing little /1
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
pickles at you? /2
TI99Kitty
This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get -->
TI99Kitty
too sexually frustrated.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
Look, I was hot, and I was hungry!
Merlin1179
My favourite toast is “May God damn the goddamn French”.
thefeckamisigningupwithfacebook
d3jake
Im reminded of a toast by a wise British gentleman on NCIS... I just need to find it.
Syko73
I think this is the one you are referring to: https://josvg.home.xs4all.nl/scot/card/index.html
FitzFarseer
aboyandhisbox
https://youtu.be/uvvHOe4P7rQ?t=103
scienceandhistoryupvoter
Here's to rattlesnakes and condoms. I don't fuck with either of them.
assroar7
This is both profound and beautiful. Wipes tear...
thefeckamisigningupwithfacebook
thelostfaith
Fucking bravo
Northotron
Here's to the ones we've met, here's to the ones we've fucked and here's to the ones with no such luck!
ISISKrieger
Here's to Nipples! Without them, breasts would be pointless!
DamnThursdays
Here's to lying, cheating, stealing and drinking; if you're going to lie, lie for a friend; if you're going to cheat, cheat death...
DamnThursdays
If you're going to steal, steal a heart; if you're going to drink, drink with me!
byrondio
This one has always been my favorite!
DamnThursdays
It's a memorable one to spout off, that's for damn sure.
FlawedSquad
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
inchwormwrath
I first read that in a Berkley Breathed comic years ago.
FlawedSquad
First time I heard it was from Tom Waits on a talk show back in the 70's.
ItWasIWhoFarted
To the stars who listen and the dreams that are answered.
teaforyouandme
This is so nice.
ItWasIWhoFarted
I like your name. Also if you read, google the line and get all the books. You will be hurt but you will love it.
brucom
The nearest star is 4+ lightyears away. That's why your dreams take at least 8-9 years.
ItWasIWhoFarted
Not in the university portrayed in the book that quote is from.
sumelar
I'll always hear #2 in Russel Crowe's voice.
mity0k23
Benny Hill for me
ScootinNtootin
Makin' movies makin' songs N foitin round the wolde!
IhopeyougetstageIIIcoloncancer
Fun fact: that was the formal naval toast for Saturday - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Customs_and_traditions_of_the_Royal_Navy#Toasts
TupacAintDead
Strength and honor
Gizmodian
My uncle looks so much like Russel Crowe, it's weird.
kimbo305
Just post dat OC
Gizmodian
Unfortunately I don't have a picture of him. I try to avoid him.
maxtension78
Lesser of two weevils!
TheSomethingSomethingGenericReplyGuy
IwishKimPinewasmygirlfriend
Read them. Read them all. I know it's super hard to get into but I tried the audiobooks and it's much easier and funnier
TheSomethingSomethingGenericReplyGuy
cyberjazz
Here's to being single, drinking double, and sleeping triple
Noismute
Here's to just floating by day to day
ThrowAwayAcct0000
"Here's to you, and here's to me. The best of friends, we'll always be. But if by chance, we disagree... Fuck you and here's to me!"
Syko73
East to the sea, west to the land, death to the bitch who touches my man....(if you're a girl...on the east coast)
J0joTheIdiotCircusBoy
Heres to the stork that brings good babies, the raven that brings bad babies, and to the swallow...that brings no babies.
Bowchickameowmeoww
<3
Scathed
I like that
wtforero
To health, wealth, and family. Is my go to
jwingZ
But why do you so 'is my go to' in your toast
wtforero
Just the first sentence, though I realize you might be being deliberately obtuse, which is cool.
InternalError500
Here's to drinking triples, seeing double, and acting single....
LegendarySelf
This whole thread sounds like a Pitbull song
Smellykelli
Here's to single player, double jumps and triple shots
ThaWhiteRanger
jwingZ
Hers a single to dabil, trab a stronk
iDrinkDrano
Three, two, one, let's jam!
TheBestNamesAreTaken
See you space cowboy...
Muunk
Here's to triple doubles, double doubles, and single players
acertainjenesaisquoi
May our sons rest in the shade of oaks we plant today.
ElevenAndCounting
Can we pick a different tree? I'm allergic to oak, makes all unable to breathe and stuff
Novazo
Or cut down and sell the oaks once they mature. Nice money to be made. Or given to your child.
OneTheory
Kids can make their own damn money
totemspirithousecat
Here's to the oaks we lost to global warming *pours one out*
NinjaManMat
*and daughters.
GucciWithSprinklesOnTop
“Children” could work nicely
NinjaManMat
Agreed! I'm a fan of nondenominal offspring myself. :)
[deleted]
[deleted]
Marsupialmessiah
Washing... Dishwasher takes.... 70s disco... Hanging at dishwash... Dishwasher.. To to toototororotoo
McWhoppin
Omg