Toolology
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Aug 19, 2016 5:51 AM
Toolology
54509
1496
439
zethlington
Knowing specific and uncommon words is being smart.
sirbroderic
/r/iamverysmart
wuchaa
I chuckled at most of these. Thank you
terreurhaas
So that's what we call smart nowadays? Well then, I guess everyone's a genius then.
LetsGetThisOverWith
20 jokes dumb people think smart people like
shuthefuckupdonny
I'm dumb and I got these jokes
max22imus
Throwing around the term "Intellectual" pretty loosely, arent we?
planetguy
#19 "Go get eggs, we still need them. And while you're out shopping, get some milk." The programmer never came back.
Dunkbuster
Why doesn't the government want me to know?!
Twist1000
#17. The monk gets his hotdog and asks for change. The vendor says: Change comes from within.
VladimirIlyichLenin
"Can I get my change" "You have to really want to change"
wardsandcourierplz
ITT: internet commenters trying way too hard to signal superior intellect. Let people enjoy things.
PigsWeGetWhatPigsDeserve
An intellectual read these 20 jokes. You won't believe what happened next!
griphyn220
"intellectuals"
papayathesailorman
Feel like I've been reading Stephen Hawking books
WhenYouLookAtMeLikeThatItMeansImJoking
Not in numerical order.
joeyjojojuniorshabbadoo
#19, lol
GentlemanBart
@LillaaK
GentlemanBart
@LilaaK
GentlemanBart
@LilaaK
Goochami
The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen master, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box
Goochami
and closes it. "Excuse me, but where’s my change?" asks the Zen master. The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."
antmansclone
#8. Did you just assume the gender?!?!!!!
InterestedWalrus
I liked the jokes, but the "for intellectuals part" was sorta stupid.
GoodNewsCigaretteJuice
Who let this filth out of user sub? Oh right, the same people that thought these jokes were for the 'intellectual'
ditto12g
I'll be honest, I upvoted it bc my sense of humor is deplorable, and I thought these were hilarious
KaiKaiTheBoringGuy
Its not that they're not funny, its that they aren't for intellectuals only.
ditto12g
Right, I get that. But just explaining why I upvoted it, which was bc I found it funny, not bc I wanted in on an "intellectual" circle jerk.
boldspoo
Pretty much all of the logic "jokes" are wrong... just so wrong.
DuffMaaaann
#18 most of the mass of atoms does not come from interaction with the Higgs field but from quantum chromodynamics.
washismycopilot
Oh Yeeeaaah
oldelidog
Thank you, Richard Feynman!
VillagerJeff
And the mass that is from Higgs comes from the field not the emission that is the boson
AustinAlex
"20 jokes anyone who has passed 8th grade will understand"
Scoobyknowsbest
Because you learned to program in 8th grade? Don't be a dick.
Corabellius
As a person going into 9th grade, yep.
SinceTheAccident
Way to go, little buddy!
scabab
well thats a mean thing to say
robertloblawlessthethird
I'm only up voting so I can pretend I understand
deadzoneternity
Upvoting for honesty
aDefenseless9yearOldGirl
You can't figure the ones you're unfamiliar with out through context?
robertloblawlessthethird
I don't even understand what you've said
GoodNewsCigaretteJuice
I think he means that knowing that these are all jokes, you should be able to isolate the "clever" punchlines and deduce therein the joke
SendMePicturesOfYourDog
I think robertloblawlessthethird knew that
Gasnia
Number 12 should be programmers, not engineers.
VillagerJeff
I've used it in some math application in proving math works in every base system but never in engineering
oldelidog
Exactly what I was thinking. Engineers generally don't use octal.
VladimirIlyichLenin
Who does use octal?
Polarbit
My thought. I mean, both; but primarily programmers.
abracadabrajahbuloneymahaboneyahyahyah
12*25=300 =/= 10*31=310 , 12+25=37 =/= 10+31=41 , 1+2+2+5=10 =/= 1+0+3+1=5 , 1,225 =/= 1,031
Jattetont
3*8^1+1*8^0 == 2*10^1+5*10^0
nigelandco
20 jokes that people who wear fedoras think only they understand
notofthisworld777
Nice
drenchedindingleberries
Thank God someone said it.
lesbianyellowsourfruit
m'lady
Lavatoryman
no survivors
Leozas
Why generalize things? Why can't we all just enjoy some witty humor
SomethingOffensive
The title suggests that intellectuals will only understand these jokes. This title is as dumb as those IQ or genius tests on Facebook (1)
SomethingOffensive
That make people with at least a 9th grade education think they're witty. (2)
andwhyisthecarpetallwetTodd
or "Big Bang Theory" fans
GoodNewsCigaretteJuice
Yaaaaas, perfectly put
SmertNSpecial
*laugh track*
distortedlens
You had me at #3, but I don't understand #12
JudgeVegas
31 in base 8 (Oct) is 3x8+1 = 25 in base 10 (Dec).
washismycopilot
Octal and Decimal numbering systems I think.
nickknack7
Can you explain number 3? It's the only one I don't get.
distortedlens
The logicians understand the bartender's question as "do all 3 of you want a drink?" 1/2
distortedlens
Because the first two didn't say "no" that implied that they did 1/2
distortedlens
If one of them said "no" then only *some* of them wanted a drink