As a geologist, I can confirm that this is accurate...

May 29, 2017 3:35 PM

geonerd

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Can't find original source, if anyone finds it, please let me know so I can give credit.

As a knapper ,obsidian is for the blood sacrifices. The little shards or a random asshole flake makes me look like I tried to off myself

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Of course not, you using the wrong crystal, try Crystal Meth! It'll do ya'... into the gutter

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Obsidian can make a damn good fallout 3 spin off. Excuse you

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

No! No! No! Crystals do have power! The power to remove money from the coffers of retards who believe in mumbo jumbo!

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 3

you forgot the best crystal - meth

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I have eaten many gems for their "healing powers" but all I ever get is a belly ache. I have switched to gluten free gems no improvement

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Excellent. Now do essential oils one

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Haha, look at the geologist trying to step up and discredit the hard work of Geologist Mystics. Ya gotta dual class for any respect dude

8 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 7

I'm a Geologist/Alchemist and can support these conclusions though.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

They fall under the category of Placeboids.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

When paired with gold, all of these gems have amazing relationship repairing powers

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

To be fair, quartz does have electrical properties. That's why they use it in watches and shit. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quartz_clock

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Healing though?...no, just...no.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's also good for crucibles and as a heat-resistant glass substitute.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

correction: rose quartz had healing tears

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You need Lapis Lazuli to enchant shit so like, fuck you dude!

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

You have to use them as suppositories to see health benefits

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well, since you asked: https://yoniegg.com/what-are-yoni-eggs/

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Hahaha! Healing crystals are so stupid? Why would anyone believe this!? Oh, look, moneycat! Better upvote so I can get rich tomorrow!"

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They're minerals Marie!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

* fluorite.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sorry to burst your bubble, but with Amethyst I can learn how to summon Bahamut, so I call bullshit on this.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What about bath crystals?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I second this confirmation.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well, they look nice. That's it. I'd put a chunk of pretty rock on an end table just for some decoration.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Crystal meth, however...

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fluorite is used in public water systems to help prevent tooth decay or some shit

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Actually, amethysts can change your relationship, just throw it hard enough at your partner.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What about Crystal Pepsi?

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Has the healing powers of diabetes.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

But superman... fortress of solitude I'm calling bs. Crystals are clearly the only way to get super powers. Read a book.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If you find the right one of those it will have a positive impact on your life. A big enough amethyst will buy you some nice sushi for sure

8 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 1

I have a pretty big one:

8 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Still waiting for it to buy me sushi, though.

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Maybe if you put out more you'd get some sushi.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Have you asked it nicely?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hey now, obsidian can make a damn sharp knife.

8 years ago | Likes 245 Dislikes 4

Also useful when constructing a portal to the nether.

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

And fluorite's great at mind control

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Or a portal to the nether.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Also good for killing white walkers

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Also the occasional good game.

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

...all that glitter is gold.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

only https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feA64wXhbjo break the mould

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

i have tons of obsidian. anyone know any good guides to making an obsidian blade?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Maybe there's a wikiHow, they have one for just about anything lol

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Look up Flint knapping.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That generally gives it the opposite of healing powers.

8 years ago | Likes 149 Dislikes 1

If you are bleeding out from a gun shot, I can shove one of them in to seal the wound. :D

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

death cures almost any aliment;

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Stabby powers?

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Depends on the persepcitive...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Eh, the stone healing peeps aren't hurting anyone. If it makes them feel good, why not.

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 7

Well, except for when they cause people to try to use bullshit instead of medicine for serious issues.

8 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

Well, that's their own fault, isn't it?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I don't know if we should be trusting you with that username.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hitler may have done bad bad things, but he did like dogs so I guess he wasn't all bad.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Also, autobahn.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0