Tr3scobar
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So I don't have any other outlet or people to talk to who understand. There aren't Crystal Meth Anonymous meeting in Memphis or even within 100 miles so I'm fucked on that front. I started with I was 20 and lost pretty much everything, my apartment, my car, my sanity and my health over the course of about 3 years. I was in an abusive relationship with the drug and a real cunt of person. I still have nightmares about him and also about relapsing. I've been clean for 6 months and living with my grandmother in a town of 3500 people. I've got a job in management and my car back. I'm medicated correctly for the first time every and everything should feel great. It just doesn't. Im tired of the fact that every thought that isn't occupied by work or books or cooking is right back to craving and visions of usage. Im just fucking tired. I'd appreciate and feedback from addicts who are also in recovery that read this far. At least this enough characters to not have an ad and there's a cute dog at then end. Thanks for the time.
Dog tax
AnIrishLegendaryPhotographer
I work for a treatment facility. Lots of people feel like you do. Focus past the cravings, and onto self-care. Also, forgive yourself.
ItWasMeIWasTheTurkeyAllAlong
It's a cliche I know but focus on just getting through one day at a time and know your triggers.
Kaitlynntieo73711
I wish I could help every day is a struggle...
jokerswild97
Every day you don't go back to using is a victory. Celebrate it! (but not with meth)
PunkPrincessP
Yo dawg. Im not much for sad stories, but for a fellow memphian Id help in any way possible. Lemme know if you need anything.
Vicksteris
Best advice i was given is to focus on TODAY. Forget yesterday, it's a past. Don't worry about tomorrow, it's not here yet.So be proud today
PiousFrenzy
It will all be ok in the end... If it's not ok, it's not the end.
BritishBatman
Find a hobby that takes time and is exhausting, like running or aggressive piano.
ThenIDefyYouStars
Agressive piano!!
SpiteMaliceIsAlreadyTaken
What I did after dropping coke was video games and warhammer 40k, they both took a lot of work and effort that stopped me wanting more
dawnofthedead
I know it's not even remotely the same as the struggle you face daily, but I find doing something with my hands like knitting helps when
dawnofthedead
I get the urge to self harm really helps. It takes my mind off the urge and puts it onto something productive. Sending you so much love xx
sr22e
in my experience, one never "recovers"...it's always a part of you. The trick is accepting yourself without relying on a crutch...
mrmartini
5 years sober. It takes time. A lot of it. But eventually your brain will rewire itself.
monkofshadows
Make sure you exercise helps ye ole brain chemicals. Keep at it “It works if you work it”
Phlabibit
One day, one hour, one moment..easy but hard somehow, or hard but easy somehow. Just make correct decisions and ask if you’re not sure which
MyClockIsOrange
The best thing I found was, routine and a hobby. Small steps, it's undoubtedly a long journey. I found my strength through a doggo.
MyClockIsOrange
The doggo helped with my routine, and made me look forward to coming home, reading a book with him in my lap. It seemed a lot easier to forg
MyClockIsOrange
Forget about the cravings when I had someone that absolutely depended on me. That's just me though, I wish you the best of luck.
adozenelephants
It may not be the meeting you want but it maybe the meeting you need. Every meeting you're in is time you're not using.
Tr3scobar
Heard
adozenelephants
3 meetings a week good program, 2 meetings a week good luck, 1 meeting a week good bye.
Tr3scobar
Word
Stebeven116
Accountability partners are a cheesy idea but can be incredibly effective. Find a friend who is recovering, and keep each other in check.
Sinus23
Download a free music making software and start making your own music. It's challenging and against popular believe the best music is 1/2
Sinus23
written while sober by people that have experienced the alternative. Or writing, painting just something creative parallel with exercise.
Sinus23
It doesn't trigger the want for drugs unless you already were creating something in the medium while using. So it becomes a new habit 3/3
riyadhkhaddar3000
Speaking as a guy who was slamming meth for 2.5 years and has been clean for 1.5, find something to make. Literally anything.
irishPEDOelf
He could make meth?
Willybill17
You're trying to make yourself different. You're not. Go to an AA meeting and listen. Do it again. And again. Eventually you will get it.
sabrinadent
You are doing really well. Really well! What you feel now is normal, and it will get better if you stick to it.
sabrinadent
Everyone tells you detox is hard; nobody tells you recovery is b o r i n g.
andreAwardPilot
53yo alcoholic here, dry for 625 days as of today, still fighting with depressions, but get better. Fix your feelings, become positive...
andreAwardPilot
...try meditation or NLP. become healthy, sleep good, eat good, work out. working out has big effects on your brain, makes you resilient ...
andreAwardPilot
fix your social contacts, get out, find friends. Someone to talk to, someone to cry with. You can do it you're much stronger than you think
FDaRIAx2
I've been clean from heroin for 3.5 years now and it does get easier at time passes but it will never completely go away. The dreams will 1
FDaRIAx2
Stop. I dont crave the drug anymore but sometimes I do miss having something that makes me not care anymore, but I tell myself not caring is
FDaRIAx2
Isn't good at all and it passes.
FDaRIAx2
Keep your head up the first year is really hard because adjusting to a normal life is so different but you'll get it. YOU CAN DO THIS.
Kottok
13 years sober. You will always be a recovering addict. You need to focus the urges on other tasks, and eventually it will become habit (1)
Kottok
For you to want to do the new thing. Addiction is lifelong, I don't believe we can ever not be addicted, but we can change what we are (2)
Kottok
Addicted to. I did a bad and got addicted to alchohol after kicking narcotics, now I'm a year and half sober from that. Coffee is my new (3)
Kottok
Addiction of choice. Just do your best, stay medicated, keep positive people in your life. Good luck @OP.
Iktirmn88888
Replace a bad addiction with a good one. Running worked for my brother. He was a prescription abuser for quite a few years. Proud of him now
5timespeed
Lakeside Behavorial Health Systems in Memphis,, call them, tell them what your going thru,, asking for help,, call immediately,, I also
5timespeed
Recommend exercise,, biking,, walking in nature , Yoga, Pilates, Art Therapy, continue to reach out, you can set SMART goals 4 urself,
5timespeed
Your clean time is great, you will have these urges early in recovery. The urges remind us, we need help, it’s real, those are warning signs
5timespeed
You recognize this warning sign, early, congrats, ur self reflection is on target, bam, give yourself credit for your positive action Call
5timespeed
Any hospital or go to your doctor, your brain is used to a much higher feeling, anything less, feels empty, you’ll get thru it, FIGHT””
happyrabbitzz
You are still very early in your recovery; it will likely continue to be both strange and difficult for awhile. Two suggestions: 1) Try 1/?
happyrabbitzz
AA maybe. If you ever drank alcohol you qualify; you don't have to overwhelm others with you being an addict though. Just say "when I 2/?
happyrabbitzz
was using." 2) Maybe consider an online meth Anon meeting, if they exist. I would try both. Remember you were used to medicating to 3/?
happyrabbitzz
do life; now you are having to figure out how to do it on your own. Of course you would want to return to what was; that doesn't mean 4/?
happyrabbitzz
you should. I am in your corner! 5/5
Tr3scobar
You're only allowed to talk about how alcohol has specifically affected you, other drugs or sex is not to be mentioned.
Tr3scobar
I've gone to NA but 7 out of 10 people are there because they got caught with weed and it never feels right
Tr3scobar
Rather is hasn't felt right
happyrabbitzz
All the AA meetings I go to people often talk about both. Again, you can be subtle about it to satisfy the big book thumpers/bleeding 1/2
happyrabbitzz
deacons. And a new comer should always listen more than talk anyway.
imhavingsomuchfun
I'd just like to add that you shouldn't feel like a fraud because you're addicted and crave it. I bet if you ask anybody who had an
imhavingsomuchfun
Addiction, they probably relapsed once or twice but like everyone else is saying just keep trying. It doesnt make you a bad person to
imhavingsomuchfun
Relapse or to crave it. What's really important is trying your best to beat it and you will. Just look at the positives of your battle. You
imhavingsomuchfun
Are doing awesome
Donth101
The support group you are looking for is narcotics anonymous or NA. Google says they operate in Memphis.
Tr3scobar
1I've gone to NA meetings. 7 out of 10 people are there because they got caught smoking weed. The other 2are there because they got caught
Karakorum
You can also try AA if it is an open meeting. Get a sponsor and start working the steps. Recovery work can fill some of that time.
Karakorum
You can slowly build a support network out of your group. I've got 30 numbers I can call anytime when I need it.
willlyb
You need a sponsor
willlyb
I am a recovering addict. Get a sponsor, work the steps and be honest while doing so. Call your sponsor when you get the cravings. It works.
MadamPuddifoot
He works in treatment now, and LIVES by the 12 steps. He swears they are the most important part of his recovery.
duliji
Just an observation: The 12 steps are pretty useless for atheists.
MadamPuddifoot
Not really? AA isn't faith based. You can believe in anything that's your "higher power" - like the ocean. It's just something bigger (1/?)
MadamPuddifoot
Than you. Acknowledgement that you aren't the biggest thing in the universe. Not something "controlling" all things, just that, literally,
MadamPuddifoot
My bf is an addict but follows AA and their big book - he used to hate AA but has found his longest sobriety with AA.
MadamPuddifoot
He had a bad experience w/1 AA group b4 and until he went to rehab he thought they all judged addicts. They don't. He's just celebrated 1 yr
sabrinadent
I understand it works for your BF but this kind of AA evangelism is part of what turns people off. It isn't the only model for recovery.
MadamPuddifoot
AA and the big book literally saved my bf's life, so pardon me for being a little excited about it.
MadamPuddifoot
Oh I'm aware, but seeing as op felt hopeless and my bf went to 11 different NA based rehabs and relapsed after them, I figured I'd share.
MNsnow66
Hi I'm Paul and I'm an addict. I also think AA and NA are deeply flawed and tend to cause more harm than good, especially in early recovery.
catsaregroundowls
I agree. In my area there aren't resources for individual therapy so when I quit drinking I did it alone and I am glad I did. I seriously...
catsaregroundowls
...want the part of my identity that is an addict to not be my main center of focus and going to meetings, in my mind, hinders my ability...
catsaregroundowls
...to move forward and form new aspects to my identity that don't deal with alcohol.
MNsnow66
Get your medications right and go to therapy. An actual therapist not a group of addicts who like sharing war stories
Beeekman
This. And actions of giving. Giving, giving, giving. Volunteer. Dedicate to participate. Can’t understate the therapy part.
MNsnow66
Staying sober is going to suck for awhile. You're going to feel shit, like fucking feelings and it isn't fun. My one piece of advice is this
MNsnow66
Keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter what. Don't stop. I promise, next thing you know, you'll be farther than you thought
OddOod
Hell, stay sober is gonna suck pretty much forever.
Tr3scobar
2 with pills. It hasn't felt like a group of people that understand. There also is no element of talk therapy. Just confessions
purgethefilthyheretics
And the fucking religious talk is so horrible imo. So horrible.
Donth101
Was that always the same group? Because if so it might be worth trying a different group.
Donth101
Sorry, meeting might be a better word than group.
Tr3scobar
There's only one group where I live because it's a town of 3500
Vomgnar
Hang in there man! 2 years sober here, it gets better. AA/NA was not for me either, keep an open mind. Learn to meditate, zen or whatevs.
RumfoordandKazak
My dad was in NA and has been clean for 10 years for many drug. I think it depends on the group meetings you're going to, I would try again.
ACabbageFromSpace
Maybe have a look into EMDR, it's a therapy for PTSD, but may help with your cravings/flashbacks
MadamPuddifoot
My bf LOVED EMDR when he was in treatment. He said it helped him TREMENDOUSLY.
CourtCorgiTaker
I’ve found the best places for AA or NA are at halfway houses. The people there aren’t there for marijuana or a small problem. Try there.
Beeekman
This.
Ap0c0lypstick
Try na zoom meetings and find one that fits you.
AntaNce
some EMDR people nearby. it's really good shit. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/emdr/tn/shelby-county
MsSchadenfraulein
So create one. If you are struggling with it, others are too. It will provide a support network & an energy outlet. Stop making excuses!
thedarkdesert
You need proper training to run these things. It's not like a bunch of guys just meeting up to chat over beer.
MsSchadenfraulein
Training helps, but any support is better than none. I work with addicts btw.
kccoig14
That's exactly what it is, minus the beer. No "training" needed.
kccoig14
@op keep hitting meetings and you'll eventually find people who are there for the same reasons as you. In the meantime, if you need someone
kccoig14
To talk to message me.