Nuggetmcg
428427
11424
261
#1
saddest story I've ever read (fracture warning)
#2
#3
#4
#5
#6
#7
#8
#9
#FML #funny #ishouldbestudying. FP EDIT: hedgehog tax https://imgur.com/XbQPD7F
CertifiedAgreer
#8 is the best one I've ever seen
OuroborosX
Unless the girl laying her in your lap is related to you or a child, that boner is permissible.
GrumpySealy
#8 So he was focusing on smashing pussy, to stop himself from getting a boner?
DustinDustyDust
#5 I remember that line from Rome. . Did GOT rip off rome?
bigfishlittlepond111142
Umm, what are you doing in bed, in between your parents? That's hella weird
flambelicious
I was picturing it as op lying on their bed with dad sitting by it.
ASDusername
More pls
StringupthelightsandlightupthetreeWeregoingtomakesomerevelry
Also something similarly to these is the r/TIFU subreddit
kukupuff
Fmylife.com
nutellafetish
THIS IS SMALL
gayrat5
So he imagined beating a pussy to not get an erection?
SomeCrazyNerd
My first thought! Heyooo!
xiuke
#8 - PSA - if a girl puts her head onto your lap, she WANTS YOU TO GET HORNY!
ThePiedPiperofRuination
#4 Plot twist: the brothers are fraternal twins.
JayTheUnicorn
Moderately? Hoe that's tiny. Ugh.
nikkolaus
#5 That's domestic assault... Press charges and file a restraining order.
Flyndaran
In most places you'd get laughed at or worse arrested if she so much as bats her eyes or claims you hit her. Be careful.
astrogeek
At least he was interested in the mom.
ItHasComeToTheTriarii
Like wtf kinda teddybear complex does your parents have with you
ratfaceddog
I had to look that up to find out what they does have, but I think maybe they doesn't have it.
BlastFX
#9 Amateur. I've edited “A Whole Nude World” into Aladdin and shared it on Pirate Bay where it was downloaded by over 2000 people.
carbonkid17
I'd rather get the boner than imagine that
SexualConsent
At least then she knows you're into her
APackOfExcitedGingers
These always piss me off, because there's always thousands of the "you deserved it" votes, despite how much it 100% wasn't their fault.
Flyndaran
Often people say that only because, "this story is complete lying bullshit" isn't an option.
GoldenVoltZ
"Some dude broke my window and punched me." "Oh yeah well fuck you, get better windows."
rshini
the way the site works, it's very easy to accidentally hit the wrong button and you can't undo it
PhailRaptor
Needs 2 more options to work: "You're a filthy liar" and "I have no strong opinion on this matter"
Yolaan
Am I the only one who find the disposition of the room strange in #3 ?
coldshock
Yea where the hell is the bed, in the middle of the living room?
mzmzpants
what women shows her tits over her child..i mean, unless the childs still breastfeeding
Rivet95
Poke her in the eye with it. If she's laying her head on your lap and expecting platonic thoughts, she needs a wakeup call.
BlakeTortilla
Is it even a dump if i don't have to click to load more pictures?
TheToughestGuyInLetterkenny
@OP, you and I need to discuss the definition of "moderately sized" when used with "dump"
Owliebub
#1 cuz that's what mom does with hers
Vaanhalen
#8 she knew what she was doing. She wants to check for a bone, let her feel a bone
PainGwen
And if she didn't, it's life lesson time.
BELLTONES
My boyfriend lays his on my lap all the time...is he feeling for a boner too?
cataleap
Just to double check, you're a Gay, or a Thai girl?
BELLTONES
Im female so its slightly concerning.
illogicalphallusies
60GB tv series would be torrents and you could check an episode and cancel it.
somethingdark
At the very least there would most likely be a comments section somewhere.
thorkun
But what's worse is it took him 2 weeks to download. Like was it some obscure series or why did it take so long?
kgbofficer
Exactly I download the first episode first, then download more while I watch the first one.
Nirgal
Yeah, but did he masturbate with the electric toothbrush?
SomeCrazyNerd
How??
samsonguy920
Pro Happy Tip: Rest the vibraty part against the spine of your shaft.
SomeCrazyNerd
Ahh. I just fuck my bed. ;)
Deadpangod3
Nirgal
We'll tell you when you grow up, dear.
DaveFondale
#6 sounds like you are using to much makeup.
awkvark
My sister wears too much. People think she's a whore.
RedPeggy
Save Ferris.
iwearlittlesocks
Mikeiller
I was thinking the Queen from Phantom Menace, but that works too.
wellwellwelllookwhoscomecrawlingback
You got some er..... some lipstick... on your cheek there.... no other side..... er yeah
SpecialContainmentProcedures
Seriously, she looks like a whole different person? How is that even fair?
MrPeebles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7QNw1LRJv4
marvelousspoons
Omg #9 makes me so happy
tinybabycat
I use kodi to stream shows and you have to click a stream and sometimes that same clip pops up and i have to go back and click a new stream
SexualConsent
Calm down there Satan
seaweedbrains
Until it happens to you
ratfaceddog
Fuck thieves.
YouBetterNotBeJackingOffToBillyMaysInThere
ratfaceddog
Rationalize all you want. Fuck thieves of all varieties.
Slamtastik
People usually only pirate things they prolly weren't going to buy anyway. Studies show piracy can improve overall sales by word of mouth.
ratfaceddog
How would a "study" like that even be conducted? People only steal things they aren't going to buy? You don't say...
Slamtastik
chargeling
"two weeks of waiting" sounds like that post is from 2000, not from 2015 though…
ireallycantthinkofanythingoriginal
Could be Australia.
PichatoMartini
I'd say he was running a torrent at an inconsistent rate of about 100kb/s. That should take about 2 weeks.
PichatoMartini
The problem with that is, in 2000 practically nobody knew what a gigabyte was.
PichatoMartini
Let alone 60 of them. It'd be like saying you had a 60 terabyte download going today.
IamJustinSane
#8 If she's doing that, she's trying to give you a boner. It's the foreplay for foreplay you idiot.
lazyboomerang
Straight people are weird.
FrankDux99
Some guys just don't deserve pussy, I swear!
infearandfaith
I don't want to "talk talk talk talk talk about it"
UntitledUnmasteredDeluxe
What if you're in a public place like a library or your aunt's funeral?
IamJustinSane
Are you listing places I've gotten blowjobs? Cuz that could take a while.
RiversideM
Not necessarily. My then gf layed her head in my lap while watching movies, she had other friends over. Nothing was supposed to happen.
IamJustinSane
Blowjobs aren't "supposed" to happen, they just do. You reach over to grab a chip from her bag and BAMM!! Your dicks in her mouth!
IFoldlyGo
Or she wanted to show off to her friends how much control she had over you
Thanaroa
Could have been a twelve year old cousin though...
IamJustinSane
Then the question is why is his underage cousin trying to suck his dick, then put a stop to that right away.
SexualConsent
I think that just raises questions as to why he's bonering at his underage cousin
JFurse96
"bonering."
SexualConsent
Yes, as you can see, I can words
GundamCustoms
Sustained contact can sometimes cause a boner regardless of who it is, it's just instinct
RaccoonRoss
Don't you remember? We no longer respect this man's science.
ExvicepresidentAlGore
Yeah wtf got a random boner just reading these comments smh..
SaunterbluggetHampterfuppinshire
Give a young man thirty idle seconds and he's going to get a boner. We've talked about this.
jtb1313
I had a class that like clockwork I would walk in, sit down, and get so hard that nothing could make it go away. Just tuck and hope for
CthulhusGreasyBallsack
really, especially at teenage years, it's nearly impossible to control yourself regardless of who it is, you don't WANT to feel that way...
Pokecole37
...you need to talk?
UnspokenX
ColdSnacks
#3 sounds like the start of a porno
flyingmtvmonkey
Ew
randomcanadian13
Rule 34
Azerai
WhatDoesTheFoxEh
SO many questions
blahtotheblahblah
Deanscream
zackofspades
SexualConsent
Genbuthesaint
I'd give it a watch.
FriendlyCordyceps
Anthony?!
chainsawbabies
I think most don't get this but I applaud you +1
IndescribableUsername
My friend in retarded, mind explaining for him?
FriendlyCordyceps
Game Grumps running gag, Arin's favorite gay porno begins with a guy walking in on his naked brother and he shouts "Anthony?!"
FriendlyCordyceps
https://youtu.be/2MqU05a-NFI
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
"luckily I was adopted, so..."
NoOne428
Does it matter
MrMineHeads
Sarujinie
Late night pool party with step-dad and foster-bro
lurkvoter
Generally, if I lay my head in my partner's lap, I want him to get a boner. Most women know what they're doing, I think.
MegaDeuce
Probably a crush, too soon for lap enhancements.
zackofspades
...wouldn't that cause actual discomfort to the skull?
spinningdwarf
Generally someone's pants do a good enough job of keeping things compressed. Even in sweatpants, it's free to be moved out of the way.
wellwellwelllookwhoscomecrawlingback
Can confirm
MovieMoments
I fell asleep like that on my housemate. More to do with being tired and sad and cold, but suddenly feeling the mini heater on me
MovieMoments
Passed out like a five year old. Only realised later his boner risk
GnaeusMarcius
I usually lay my head in my partner's lap because it's very comfortable for a nap.
lurkvoter
I do that too, but most of the time that's not why.
SomeCrazyNerd
Suuuure you do.
SerenePrincess013
When I was out visiting my bf, I laid my head in his lap for a nap. He proceeded to use my chest as his mousepad while I slept.
Goldcart
You're simply looking for a nap, And not asking for a tap, When you use your partner's lap? You must take me for a sap.
turbovagina
Had no clue when I was younger, but I was a bit sheltered.
MildInconvenience
#8 he did that to STOP getting a boner? Each to their own I suppose
IHaveAMemeForThis
[deleted]
[deleted]
PropainAndPropainAccesories
Choose any. Cause one is not enough
Sparky8832
Why not just pop a boner and see where it goes?
CastleIsGreat
Alternatively I think it's more of the perfect scenario when you WANT to get a boner, then she can be like oooo.
IAlwaysUpvoteDumps
That's dark, man.
MildInconvenience
Damn. I should've said "different strokes for different folks" instead and shoehorned a masturbation joke in there too
SomeCrazyNerd
I thought slamming a pussy is how straight guys normally have sex?
boopboopityboop
This needs more upvotes
khaosstrife
I just think back to that one time I was tricked into going to the Lemon Party website. Works every time for me.
yourmomisminenow
a cat is fine too
TheHawkRules
Goochami
Thinking about pounding that pussy usualy gives me a boner
Jokeykilla
I just eat a whole raw potato
brotherwalfrid
margaret thatcher naked on a cold day
IlikePudding
took me a few posts to realise what you wrote...laughed way to hard...came back to upvote
CairoLen
CloroxPlease
DrZangariSlifkin
XxCHODIEFOSTERxX
*to each their own
AntonioStark
BramStocker
very clever
SupaStu
stellanova
to each, their own*
MGM93
No comma needed either. Don't correct people if you're not 100% sure
AdamTurner92
Either expression is acceptable as means the same thing.
ratfaceddog
"Each to their own" sounds like people are being commanded to man their stations.
ohHiMark2000
Give your meat a good ol rub
Gurablashta
terrific.
RookieMove
PMMeTitsForPuns
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hd5hQkfB_xQ
AllWizard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXQCo9fLYWI
AchmedTheTerrifyingTerrorist
YAH BOEEYYY
Cr8zyEight
HUE HUE BOYS, HOT AND SPICY MEAT
cwispy
PMMeTitsForPuns
that girl's hair color is shifty https://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxpy50U2Jt1qlqle5o1_400.gif
waddlehorse
Thinking about slayin pussy usually helps me get a boner.
Kage197
GrimRiderJ
Had to come back to upvote that one
ratfaceddog
From where?
GrimRiderJ
The next post.
ratfaceddog
Why didn't you just upvote it the first time?
ImgurCelebrity
IF ANYONE LIKES FUN, IGNORE THIS ASTERISK: *To each their own.
ImgurCelebrity
Oh, you decided to drill down deeper into this comment? :3c Oh my. It means "TO EACH will go THEIR OWN preference", roughly.
ImgurCelebrity
DEEPER!? Okay, it's poetic/archaic word order. Equivalent to "Each's own to them."
ImgurCelebrity
I guess we actually did have some fun after the asterisk! :D Thanks for coming!
Someguy3239
Someguy3239
Well. I was wondering why the fuck my account gained 1200 points overnight. This card is apparently OP.
SnortingCocaineFromAProstitutesAss
A Trap Card, eh?
QuickINeedAName
I need to print a deck of these out
SlightlyFabricated
Best use of this I've seen so far
XenoCore
I love this meme, and I love that it kind of came out of nowhere.
Iwishicouldthinkofacoolusername
More of these?
SnortingCocaineFromAProstitutesAss
What are they called
IW42
Iwishicouldthinkofacoolusername
Amazing,Thanks
diregamer
Apparently I need to rethink my life... That's like the third time this week.
Malikhi
We should be friends
diregamer
Hi, I am dire, padre of whatever4isinspanish, d20 player, lover of all things funny and seen too much of the internet to be phased by much