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also cake day :D
#red_panda Monday
Also Cake day
hawesome
oh my god. I laughed harder than I've ever laughed by myself at the fart orgasm. so so true.
ExodusDei
The ouch and adventure ones... fuck, all of this is accurate.
VforVagina
Trollgasm! You motherfucker. ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME. Also Imgur has gone a bit pervy tonight!
AsinusAdLyram
I wasn't sure if the phone call one was "Lucky you" or "fuck you" at first. I realized I do my f and L similarly by extension.
magnolia
This. This made my day.
nowimscared
best post ive seen all day...
tacklegirl
These are all true. +1 for Benedict Cumberbatch and Dr. Who.
JacksMcGee
As a girl, this is all true.
yodabiri
Definitely + for The Doctor!
wibblywobbleytimeywimey
That's my favorite one
yodabiri
Hence your name... kudos sir/madam!
dragosteakae
This was hilarious. The vibrator and period one made me lol hard. <3 for Doctor and Cumberbatch.
hotfornerimon
+ Bennedict Cumberbatch
photopyro11
how does one make that happen for a lady?
AsAGirlcomma
Watch Sherlock with us and then take us to bed!
chiruchi
Cum | berbatch as it was properly split.
whttrkrnnr
This is so much better than anything I've learned in college.
Maggiemypet
+1 for Timey Whimey.
meghanmecrazy
I just ordered my first vibrator online and I'm super excited for the "vibrator 4 the first time" one.
pr0nty
Go you! Have fun! :D
lolimapeanut
+1 for stress relief/bedtime story.
Broadway2
These graphs would be a lot shorter if it were males....
makescreamogreatagain
Well you would have to find the mean time spent masturbating before orgasm of at least 100 subjects, at which point, you need to analyze....
AdmiralWolverineLightningbolt
Ever take adderall then tried to masturbate? It's like shaking soft spaghetti for five hours.
WhenIWasTwelveIHadAWetDreamAboutWhoopiGoldberg
It'd pretty much just be the 'Trollgasm' one.
uitSCHOT
also there'd be only two graphs, one for regular day orgasms and one for first time after a dry spell, which will be a bit longer
icookfoodandfightfire
they would all be the same too...
MementoLori
I doubt that.
potatoplatypus
How about like, a "just kidding" one. Does that happen to anyone else?
greenwhiskers
Trollgasm happens to me ALL THE TIME. Ugh.
VforVagina
Yeah totally agree, always happens to me! Its like OH OH OH then AWW FOR FUCKS SAKE.
KenDRAGON
i think thats the trollgasm
potatoplatypus
ahhh I see now!
KenDRAGON
OR "Shit Not This Time"
delonwheels
The "shit not this time" is also called "I spent too long being picky about porn".
GingerPowersActivate
This is hilarious and so true.
Crayencour
Hahaha the unexpected phone call !
marvelsarah
Change Benedict Cumberbatch to Tom Hiddleston and you've got it.
CeeCee221b
Change it to both and you've got my non-existent sex life.
BoardGameofThrones
Thank you.
datwani
I can do both. Oh, wait...
butcakes
Trollgasm = guys
RChrono
I get that one a lot too.
BecauseHowHardIsItToPoachAGoddamnEggProperly
Yes! Now women can understand
delonwheels
I never know what to do about Trollgasms! I try to do something sexy but I end up falling off the bed or farting or getting a cramp.
twintub
Really? Trollgasms are the worst, its like .. " :) :)) :)))) :))))).....? :(" (and no, i can't explain it better)
Rebecs
Nailed it.
stupidlaugh
Or she's about to come and he comes first...
killereggplant
No, dude. Trollgasm is getting 70% of the way there, then your body goes "nope" and the urge departs without actual orgasm. Frustrating.
butcakes
i just wish guys could orgasm like girls...
MitcheGraef2
legit laughed out loud. take my upvote you clever bastard.
skyhook
TIL that women using a vibrator for the first time repeatedly go slightly back in time.
LiTMac
Well yeah, the first time one uses a vibrator, her nervous system actually surpasses the speed of light before she lifts it off out of shock
tehtick
You misunderstand, it simply means that there are multiple levels of pleasure simultaneously.
MustachedSloth
It also went back when they are drunk and have a phone call. The going back in time for Doctor Who makes sense though.
Tornadoallie
well...there's always a reset when that shit happens.
renakunisaki
It's not really going back in time when they're drunk. It's just hard to draw a graph when you're drunk.
CommentsOnAlmostEverything
+1 for Vertical Line test
Tornadoallie
It's because tachyons and vaginas let's do the time warp again.
quintessentiallybritish
This is the most accurate representation. Especially the "ouch my clit" one. Bravo!
ElastaGirl
That was way too true...
ThatGermanGal
In most cases it's "Ouch my arm" first.
rozster
yes, Ouch my clit, but i want it, but fuck, yes but no... AGH!!! cum.
procrasturbation
Bravo? Can males have female orgasms. As a male I'm gonna try this out.
neverassumenormality
The ouch my clit one is why I've pretty much quit masturbating.
stefmon
As a guy, allot of these are the same for us. Missing the random stomach ache one though
wakeonuptimshel
It hurts so good
MadMouseScientist
OMG! My athletics coach in 6th grade used to say that when we were stretching! But it definitely applies in this scenario too!
skwerl
Jeez, I'm slow! I thought you mean that your coach used to say "ouch my clit," and I was like "wtf?" lol
PrfctDrk
You clit can hurt? I have no idea what any of this means. I need to get myself a girlfriend :(
RaspberryBlue
Basically, all the nerves that are in an entire penis are condensed and make up the clitoris.
ItsLeviOHsaNotLevioSAAAA
its suuuper sensitive ...like the line between a good touch and a bad touch are like almost never far apart.
IGetIrrationallyMadThatSeanBeansNameDoesntRhyme
They can hurt for days after an especially rigorous outing.
EnderXVI
This much I know, she will tell you if you're being too rough with it. Some like it that way though.
AbyssusPuella
SUPER sensitive, especially after a orgasm. Very fine line between pleasure and stabbing me in the vagina pain...oral especially effective
TechnicolorCheeseWedge
Usually this one occurs on what I call the "misfire": when the guy pulls out a little too far, instead of going back in it hits the clit.
pr0nty
It's full of nerves, so yeah. The head of your dick hurts if you rub on it too much, right? Same thing.
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pr0nty
I'm sure it's different for everyone. But as long as you pay attention to your partner to learn how they like it, it's all good!
seraven
That 'on my period' chart was bloody awful.
kallan0100
And awfully bloody.
lindybug
At first I read this and was like "eh"
MadDogMags20
Ain't nobody had time for that...
feaoOo
the bad porn one <3
tooseriousaboutcheerios
That happens way too often to me. Results in an evil circle of weird "suggestions".
LiTMac
Yeah, I have that one a lot. It's a bit more gender neutral, I guess.
TrippingPocahontas
this kind of makes me want to try a vibrator. *sigh* maybe one of these days i'll have the courage to buy one
amberyintar
Get one online. Seriously, I'm a married woman with a higher libido than my husband. I love it- and he's not threatened. Worth the money.
kwongdzu
(1/2) I got a simple 1 from a site that sells a bunch of non-vibrator things as well, so it felt normal & shipped in a normal box.
kwongdzu
(2/2) Afterward they kept encouraging me to "share" my new item on Facebook (they offer it for all purchases). I declined XD
Greenskee
http://shop.literotica.com/ Buy a vibrator.
lousyspy
Get one! Go through a sex-positive source and get something friendly, like http://www.babeland.com/kiki-vibe/d/1025 or if you really (1/2)
AsAGirlcomma
Do it. I was shaking when I walked in the store (and they asked for my id) but the clerk was a helpful woman and the purchase was...worth it
pr0nty
Why the heck did they ask for ID? There's no age minimum on masturbation! wtf!
AsAGirlcomma
Going into an adult store though, you have to be 18. And it was *definitely* an adult store.
pr0nty
Oh. I suppose so. :( Ah, well. That's what online shopping is for! :D
Nekiam
I laughed at the vibrator one
jakaii
Imagine a girl sitting on the bed going "f-f-f-f-f-f-f-u-u-u-u-u-u-c-c-c-c-c-hsia."
nation543
the period got me. oh god
Imgettingfedupwiththisorgasm
I could not have made it more accurate if I tried hahaha.
Shovi
Is she traveling backwards and forwards through time in that one?
naarmu
Yeah, that tends to happen sometimes.
lurkyoulongtime
the "omggggg??" is accurate.
Karlo
Maybe I'm weird, but that one didn't really apply to me.
lurkyoulongtime
my first experience with a battery operated toy was strange and different. not exactly enjoyable.
Karlo
They just don't really do it for me.