It was the best time of my life and yet the worst

Many people have asked me to post about my experience in the Old Guard, specifically at the Tomb, on here. I want to start by stating a few things first:
-I have like 3 pictures left of my time there (regrettably), and they are only of my friends hanging out. So any pics I post here are public pics from the FB page or google. I am in at least one of them yes.
-No I will not give the exact dates of my service, nor my Badge Number, nor any of the NCOs or Officers I worked with. Just for privacy reasons.
-I did serve at the Tomb around 2006-2007, so if you went to a Wreath Ceremony around that time then I definitely was one of the guys you saw.

Getting to the 3rd INF DIV, the Old Guard

When you join the Army and have open orders, meaning they don’t have a unit for you yet, and you meet certain criteria, i.e. highest 10% ASVAB test score, height, weight, and ‘no uggos’ (ugly guys) as the recruiter said, they show you a video in basic training in a small room and ask you if you want to join. Lets just say NO 18-19 YR OLD KID HAS ANY IDEA WHAT THEY WANT TO DO. I just said yes, because I was programed to say yes, and I got new orders to report to the Old Guard after Basic.

I was assigned to the HONOR GUARD 1st PRESIDENTIAL MARCHING PLATOON ECHO COMPANY

You have no idea WTF you are doing, you just show up and report. The first 2 weeks I was training with a ton of other privates and one SGT who was transferred from another unit. It consists of mostly how to stand still for hours on end, not moving, how to do “Rifle Manual” (that’s the term for using the rifle to salute and stand). We did some tactical training, like riot prep. We got sprayed with mace and had to run an obstacle course. It sucked. After that’s all done you get assigned to your platoon. Due to my height and I assume ‘looks’ they put me in 1st platoon.

I spent years doing Presidential and Dignitary Ceremonies

My main job was to march in formation during parades, stand and look pretty during Wreath Ceremonies at the Tomb of the Unknown Solider, salute solders in Arlington Cemetery being buried, etc. Anything that had to do with the President (Bush at the time) we were there, even President Fords funeral a lot of us were involved (that’s a whole other story).
The other half of our job was to ‘maintain tactical preparedness.’ We trained for ceremonies, and when we had time off we trained in the field for combat. I always thought it was kind of a joke, but I later heard from my other friends that went on in the army that we were some of the best trained guys in the army. We did train with the Marines on a few occasions on their base in VA. We got the opportunity to go to 'schools', training courses that take weeks to a month to complete. Airborne School, Air Assault school, etc... we had the time to get our uniforms all decked out with tons of training medals.

Life was busy, and I liked to goof off in my off time

The Barracks where I lived was just a brick C shaped 4 story building. Each platoon had their own wing and floor. I never have lived in a college dorm but I guess it was pretty much like that. We played a shit ton of video games, drank ourselves to death, and snuck girls in the back door after the visiting hours. Yes we got caught many times, yes we got in trouble.
There was kinda of a ‘good o boys club’. If you were good at your job, always on time, and marched perfectly, you kinda got away with a lot. And 1st platoon got away with A LOT. I was only late to formation once in my time, it wasn’t a big deal, I got smoked and that was the end of it. Friend of mine got caught with Cocaine and only got a general-to honorable discharge. Crazy.

Roommate of mine got asked to go be a Tomb Guard

Lets just say there was 1st platoon Echo Company (us) and the only other guys on the base that had more prestige was the Tomb Guards. They were the shit, the best of the best, and many of them got recruited from our platoon. I thought I had it rough, making sure my shoes were P-E-R-F-E-C-T, my dress uniform was P-E-R-F-E-C-T, and my rifle manual was P-E-R-F-E-C-T, but damn the Tomb Guard were robots. I saw how my roommate basically lost his social life, his ability to joke around, and was being programmed to BE THE BEST TOMB GUARD. So when I was asked if I wanted to try out, I have no idea why I said yes. I knew I would hate it, but I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it.

Tomb Guards Are No Joke

We always joked about Tomb Guards being robots, and well, they kinda are. 21 steps. Prefect Manual. Prefect Uniform. Perfect Memory of everything Tomb Related. During the first weeks of training while youre trying out (your training never really ends, you’re always on your quest to prefect yourself) they teach you new ways of dressing your shoes. Holy shit this is 75% of your time, removing edge dressing, re applying, again and again and again.
They also had this game for new guys, I caught onto it really fast, it was basically a Snipe hunt in the graveyard at night. We were supposed to have memorized the entire cemetery’s layout and each headstone (yea right) and go get a rubbing of the stone. I have to admit I had a cheat sheet in my shoe, and discovered they sent me to places that didn’t exist, probably a test to see if you would say ‘ oh yea I got it right here’.

My life ended

The stories you hear about Tomb Guards not allowed to speak is non-sense. But there was a sense of duty and honor being part of the group. You were never supposed to drink too much, or anything on base. You never knew when you had to cover someone and march a shift on the Tomb. You really didn’t cuss all that much, because you wanted to watch your mouth around the public. So with all my time being spent working on my shoes, and uniform, and 21 step count, I had no life. I didn’t see my friends at all. It sucked.
I look back on that time and think about how awesome it was, but in the moment I didn’t have the right mindset. That part of your brain that is supposed to click and turn into a robot never happened for me, Im too light hearted and cynical. Don’t get me wrong I was damn good at my job (probably why my NCOs were frustrated with me leaving), but I never fit in with the other ‘robots’ or ‘tools’ and I might call them. Im not proud of it, just wasn’t me.

The public’s view of us was great

Girls thought we were gods. Moms thought we were heroes. Dads always wanted to shake our hands. People always asked how to kept a straight face during the day when THOUSANDS of people came to see us. Everyone has a trick, mine was 100% fool proof, and to this day I still can beat anyone in a staring contest.
Most people were always respectful of the ceremony at the Tomb. Every once in a while youd get a joker, or some guy who thought it was funny to mess around and try to crack you. (FYI, if you did crack, youd never march again) But we never did. The only difficult thing was the amazingly hot women youd want so bad to catch a peek, cuz youre bored sometimes, but we couldn’t, they were always just outa sight. (maybe it was just our imagination)

In all, my time there was sacred

When my rotation was done and I volunteered to rotate back to my unit, it was bitter sweet. Most guys might stay there for years. I didn’t. I honestly just wanted a simple army job and not spend my time doing detail work, I was so glad I had done it, but just wanted to have a life again.
Ive got tons of stories about people, presidents, dignitaries, parties, college girls, Marines (gosh they are tools, badass tools), Pentagon duty, etc… I still to this day have the muscle memory for my rifle manual. Anytime I pick up a bat, my rifle, anything 10-14 lbs, I find myself wanting to flip it around. Im a tool I know.
If you PM me, I cant say ill respond but I will definitely try. Hope this is what you wanted.

My Goat Tax