Incarnaden
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Researchers at UCI inadvertently created a long lasting battery with long lasting potential. This nonobattery can at a conservative number keep a laptop going for 400 hundred years. The average laptop battery is good for roughly 1000 charges, but will diminish over two years time. The UCI nanobattery “endured 200,000 charge cycles” for the length of three months and was “effectively still brand new” when they were done experimenting.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/uc-irvine-accidentally-invents-battery-153000772.html
InterestedWalrus
Very misleading title
onlyveganreplys
neat
DoritosCat
theres always some technicality which makes it useless or unfeasible to bring to market always happens with bold claim shit like this.
jimieratchet
SwitchLover
Mastertothewakingworld
That's so cool! The future is awesome!
MasterPrime
They've also said they don't plan on making batteries from it but studying the effects of the plasticization.
WittyWes
Zot Zot Zot! Little shout out to my Alma Mater. Creating cool shit...
iEatRectum
It's a *nanobattery that theoretically lasts *400 years
Ilikestyx
*A battery that retains its full capacity for a significantly long period of time
LongCommentChainAppreciator
@OP Nanobattery, clickbait title, it doesn't last forever, it's just rechargable for a prolonged period of time
notapreppie
The author of that article miss the boat on so many things: capacitors vs batteries, charge cycles vs capacity. *smh*
squishybaker
union cycliste internationale nano-battery sure is a weird name.
PattiMichelle
Let me tell you about cold fusion...
Tagoytoy
Naquida then ZPM.
CountessPatagium
Lot’s of charge cycles: good. How long is a charge: no data.
DeptAlienHumanRelations
Some giant corporation will buy this tech and shelf it so they can keep us in consumerism slavery
ToaChronix
Oh hey another great invention that our stupid species will never actually use.
Cimroa
It'll probably last four days on my phone.
goryarbiter
As a battery chemist in a previous life, this battery would have horrible power density. The electrical potential of the metals used 1/2.
goryarbiter
would create a lower voltage than a lithium battery.
sonicbn
my xbox 360 controller will still drain it in 3 hours
recursivealgorithm
OP's mom's vibrator battery
HardAsARockMainline
Battery companies HATE her!
YoureThat
Your paraphrasing skills need some seeeeeerious work
Incarnaden
I didn't write it, this was a direct quote.
ticktockbent
Well it's wrong, and you should feel bad for spreading it
ticktockbent
His clickbait title however is A+
GBMaker
Four hundred hundred years is a very long time...
macfett
That is about 4 bazillion faps.
Elrabin
That's the total life of the battery, not per charge.
GBMaker
I think you're missing the sentence flaw I'm pointing out.
bookemdanno80
but only about 4 years when playing Pokemon Go
b4nned
About 7000 ducks
wtoddp
More than 12, at least
cssbananahamock
And yet nobody will ever market it. There's no money to be made.
8hourgamer
Tell that to people that drive a Tesla
ZombieMV
Phone batteries.
cssbananahamock
That's not the point. They make tons of money selling the batteries they have now. Why sell something you don't need to replace?
IJUSTMADETHEVOICEINYOURHEADYELL
YOU'D EFFECTIVELY KILL YOUR COMPETITION, AND YOU'D STILL SELL NEW BATTERIES FOR NEW LAPTOPS.
xxoctavianxx
400 years is now forever.
YourUncleTheConvictedFelon
It said they did a test that was valued at 400 years and it was still "practically brand new". Learn to read.
tacooo
Ugh I'm so hungry, feels like I haven't ate in forever
ZacPope43
400 is the new forever
FckyourselfSarah
Electronic manufacturers consider 4 years forever. So that's forever + 396 years.
assholecasserole
Found the pessimist
XandarianNovaPrime
I guess when you look it with the average humans life span 400 is kinda forever.
mikeatike
No, its not. Its several lifetimes.
XandarianNovaPrime
But for a single person it's their forever.
xxoctavianxx
Excellent point my good sir, here is your +1.
Whyineversawa
It is 400 hundred years, by the way.
PhantomOfSaltLand
Why not 40,000?
FishingForConversation
Because that's heresy!
Zreen
Because that's not 400
TheLivinLegend
So you're telling me it lasts
OmniGeoff
Fooooiiefffurr
dietderpsy
TWELVE!
jumpyjsn
Can't stop staring at that glorious moustache
MileHighLivin
For...ev..er.
mario0318
Well, not forever. Ask Multivac
RheaButt
Yes he is, but he's lying, the charge lasts about as long as any old battery, it can just be recharged more times
antillesw
from The Sandlot
FedVetus
Fourty four
MrMagnanimous
Dragonskulleton
I cant read lips is he just saying forever?
RebellionXCI
Nah, he is saying Quaver
GalaxyDigger
FOREVER FOREVER FOREVER
Stieefus
No, he says cow milk
RoystonVaseyBaby
Boy fur
DoctorJungyBrongen
Nah, he's saying "Forehead Fur"
Canofminus
He wants to Lynyrd Skynyrd to play 'Free Bird'
EscarFrazzle
You're killing me smalls.
Octwo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3b8LswWO1A
flimelam
thx alot
Elrabin
If you'd read the article, you'd see that it's got high durability(200,000 duty cycles), not 400 years of battery per charge.
OhHiMarkOhHeyLisaHiDannyHiMiUnderwearesOhHeyLisaSpooooons
But still. My phone dies so quickly now cause its 3 years old if it could still work like brand new... 1/2
OhHiMarkOhHeyLisaHiDannyHiMiUnderwearesOhHeyLisaSpooooons
I could play pokemon go for soooooo much longer. 2/2
hawkesnightmare
I think it's referring to the entire battery's life equaling 400 years across all charging cycles.
heeeynow
no it's 400 hundred years . 400.....hundred
JasonD
I interpreted the comment to be describing durability, too, not 400 years of charge.
MerToo
Remember when they first charged this battery and you all laughed and shook your heads? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
flarflarf
read an article? what am I, fuckin Einstein here? come on!
sqwibking
I should hope not, Einstein had been dead for more than 60 years, and necrophilia it's illegal.
FuzzyX
You can dream though of a battery having 400 years of charge. You can send an interstellar probe to other star systems on that.
HatsAreEssential
Well, any battery can last 400 years of use if the use is microscopic (and you invent a battery that doesn't lose charge over time)
mynewestusername
We give our probes nuclear batteries. Tech on those has increased and they can last a very long time. They have a low power output though.
mikeatike
Not if it cant hold enough power to do anything useful. You do understand that you need to deplete a battery to use the power in it, right?
only90skidswillgetthis
We already have RTGs
FuzzyX
The Voyager probes have RTGs. While they last decades they have decayed and could be much more efficient.
notapreppie
Without actual advances, those dreams are only one micron above "worthless" on any reasonable measurement scale
FishingForConversation
You have the sum of all human knowledge in your pocket. Did anyone believe that would be possible 30 years ago?
HatsAreEssential
Tesla envisioned it, IIRC.
mineovermatter
Yes. Even 50 years ago. Real knowledge enables reasonable predictions.
notapreppie
Nobody has the sum of all human knowledge in their pocket. Paywalls and data loss are real.
mikeatike
Yes, Arthur C. Clark did.
FishingForConversation
OK so 1 guy. No one legitimately thought we'd have this.
notapreppie
The last paragraph of that article shows that the author has no idea how batteries work on a basic, 5th grade level.
imposter22
Jonathan Ramsey (the writer) must have been a Liberal Arts major. If he even went to college.
ShiftingPattern
Do you have any idea how little journalism pays these days? We're lucky they understand language arts at a 5th grade level.
QTLingTorrasque
As a writer, writing doesn't pay for shit. I have "exceptional writing" according to my editor, but I think it's mediocre at best. 1/X
stygyan
I saw someone trying to pay $2 for a 300 word article. TWO BUCKS.
QTLingTorrasque
Is it good or bad that I wouldn't mind doing that? 300 words is nothing.
QTLingTorrasque
I've seen the writing that many other people do, and wow my writing is god tier compared to theirs. It's mind blowing how bad the avg is 2/2
notapreppie
The thing about average... "Think of how stupid the average person is and then remember half of them are dumber than that!" - George Carlin.
121E1V
a national newspaper in my country devoted 2 full pages to the iphone 7 because apple threw some freebies around at their editorial office.
benisoyylmao
such is the case with all news sources.
WhatzitTooya
They have probably written half the article, too.
121E1V
it was literally translated from their site, so ye.