whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
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#funny #dump #nsfw #funnydump #phoneclearingdump
Stop the genocide of Palestinians! Ceasefire now!
Knifesmith
#29 Duke soap does this on purpose I think. I had a bar of their pine soap that was supposed to smell like "Misdemeanor illegally cut pine tree", and the box copy was more of the same.
Rogahar
#32 I mean... I'm pretty sure invisible gases comprise a very large percentage of what's on earth, too.
AllTheGoodOnesWereGone
#8 a 130,000,000,000 dB "sound" would probably shatter space-time instantly and possibly either create a new universe or collapse the entirety of this one into a black hole. Fortunately, 100db + 100dB = 103dB not 200dB.
Xenarion
#1 Ok but that's actually a decent way to eat it. Why shouldn't that be acceptable?
wilagames
#1 when I moved into my first real (post college) single guy apartment I bought myself a bag of instant rice and one of those baby cakes at the grocery store. The cake was to celebrate my new home obviously.
evilspock
#9 I have a group of college buddies, and we often compete to see who can give each other the worst (but funniest outcome for the rest of us) advice. So when someone says "That's a great idea, you do that, hold on let me get a camera ready" - it gives you pause.
InTheDistanceAPlaintiveEnglishHorn
if the woman who got the hysterectomy didn't keep her uterus it's perfectly possible for someone else to decide what happens to it and in it!
jimfalconer611
#28 some people have melancholy that is *TEMPORARY*?!?
Richter12x2
#1 the first time my girlfriend came to my apartment, the only things in the refrigerator were a 12 pack of diet coke and a half a can of beef ravioli. Now that we're married I have a thousand dollars worth of rotten produce, as nature intended.
minizeries
The first one is exactly how my best friend eats toast (...but with butter and jam, not salad dressing). She literally butters a bite, eats it, then keeps going. I've never asked her why, but I have always wondered. Decades.
Snooj
#1 Is this only for past tense? Because I've been with my wife for 25 years and one of my most favorite meals is still microwaving a hot dog and plucking it off the turntable with a slice of cheese. Wrap the cheese around it and it warms up the cheese. That's it. That's the meal.
SavageDrums
#25 That is ALMOST enough pulp...
murderhobbit
#8 this discounts distance between cats, the air causing the sound to dissipate, and the uncooperative nature of cats, among other things
CoarseAndSalty
I used to microwave burritos and dip them in salsa like chips.
SauronsLeftNut
#8. And then science and logic entered the room.
atrielienz
#23 I personally purchased a cake with boobs on it for a going away gift for a coworker. And a second cake that said Bye Felicia for another coworker.
BeingABotIsRad
Are we talking drawn on the cake, or hanging off the side with no support? Which "side" of the cake would that even be?
atrielienz
/gallery/5WFM3 The boobs were made of fondant wrapped rice crispies. I don't have pics of the other cake (we had it delivered to his new place of work) but "Bye Felicia" was written in pink and green frosting on the top.
SomeKindOfEye
Dark matter is the science equivalent of saying god works mysterious ways. If our theories only work when we add in an undetectable invisible substance then our theories dont work.
hollenqual
lmao. Then you get it very, very wrong. Dark matter is the result on many ecuations. It is not someone's belive forced into papers and treated as the only answer. They are not equivalent, in any way.
garbuhj
Exactly. If it's not falsifiable then it's not science. It's just a giant fudge factor being dropped in to save our current mathematical models from being called imperfect
Tarmaccian
@OP, the primary function of a rubber duck is to be a more competent software engineer than my coworkers.
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
Ah yes. Duckademy. Duck training. Where you quack on with learning. The future beakons you
evilspock
#8 but, it's also spread out over the land masses, so it's sound like a cat meowing. If you were someplace with a local abundance of cats, it'd be a bit louder, but still cats meowing. Cats meowing are not like laser beams or earthquakes - you can't meaningfully add them together and extrapolate.
trigonman3
Not with that cattitude, you can't.
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
Round of aclaws please guys
panta3
#6 family friend sent me one of these during chemo bc all i did was puzzles, I finished it. I'm mildly disturbed I did. It's glued, and somewhere in a closet. It had a lot of detail to the dog turds.
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
During chemo? How are you doing now friend
Sunshine12345
#23 the cake I made for my husband's coworker leaving the department
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
I love it. Looks tasty. Now is it a bum, a spot or a volcano
Sunshine12345
It's an asshole made to represent the guy she was moving departments to avoid. We made a chocolate pool in the center because he banned chocolate in his household and would bitch at her whenever she brought it in the office.
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
Can I steal this picture
Iaimtomisbehave
#12 "You can help improve this score!"
NotACanadian
Huh, Galveston Bay sure looks different this time of year
Calicious
#1 pretty much the only thing I ever eat. Frozen precooked ground turkey, and frozen mixed veggies. Dump some of each into a bowl, and microwave. No seasoning of any kind. I just hate everything to do with eating, so this is the fastest, easiest, & cheapest way I've found to get it over with. Takes no prep, I only ever dirty one bowl and one spoon so I never have dishes, and I can start making it and finish eating in under five minutes.
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
Can I ask a question, do you by any chance have autism or anything? I have it, I just wondered if it's the texture of food you dislike
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
And a lot of People with autism are very particular about good, will only have plain things and the same thing over and over again
Calicious
Valid question. No, I don't have autism. It isn't that I hate any tastes or textures. I like most food and can tolerate virtually all food. It's only that I absolutely hate needing to eat, grocery shopping, wasting money, cooking, cleaning, dishes, food spoiling, having to stop what I'm doing to eat, etc., all significantly more than I enjoy any food. Food is one of the worst time, energy, and money sinks of our life.
trigonman3
#1 I have put pieces of bread, slices of cheese, and slices of meat on a plate, which I ate separately and did not assemble into a sandwich, though the opportunity was there.
evilspyre
Just call it a deconstructed sandwich and you can sell it for $100 at some fancy restaurant... probably.
onlyhalfghost
do it on a plank instead and that's a charcuterie board.
jery007
#8 wait are things louder if they're done at once. Is the sound of two dropped pencils twice as loud as one? Seems unlikely.
SidewalkWidflower
What about a truckload of pencils?
iRegretThisUsernameAlready
Yes to the first question, but I assume no to the second. 1,000 people clapping at once is obviously louder than 1 or even 10, but I can confidently say that it doesn’t produce thousands of decibels. I don’t know what the curve looks like, though.
ZachariasWolfe
Sound waves CAN combine but it doesn't sound 2x as loud. Our hearing is like the dB scale. It's logarithmic, so: the range was 65-75dB, so we'll take 70 as our avg. volume. To multiply the sound by 2bn, we do 70 + 10*Log(2*10^9) = 163 dB. This is the max. theoretical noise from these cats meowing. However, sound disipates as it travels, so the observer must be equidistant from the cats, at the range at which 70dB would have been measured (1 meter is a fairly standard distance for dB measurement)
jery007
Thank you very much for the explanation but it seems like you're telling me that the maximum sound output of two 70db is more than double?!?
ZachariasWolfe
No, the 163 was for the 2 billion together getting the post. 2 sounds at 70 dB would be about 73 dB. Convert 70 dB back to linear -> 10^(70/10) = 10,000,000. Then double it 10,000,000 x 2 = 20,000,000. Convert back to dB 10*Log(20,000,000) = 73.01 dB. The part that throws me off the most about the math is there's a x10 and divide by 10 in there, because 1 bel is 10 decibels, and you can only do the logarithmic to linear conversion with it in base unit of bels
jery007
My goodness you sound brilliant!
Thanks
jtxyz
#24 id swear that's Meryl streep in the middle. Don't ruin it for me with contradictions.
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
Mamma Mia
TheobromineAddict
#1 The sink lettuce is good, must remember that. For me a bachelor meal is any one-pot meal that I can eat directly from the pot using the spoon that I started the pot with. Only two items to wash… or to soak until the next meal.
ZachariasWolfe
I love the idea, but I can't anymore. Once out of all the times I've bought lettuce there was a slug or something in it. Don't even quite remember what it was, but now every leaf from the head must be inspected on both sides before use.
trigonman3
How uncouth! Just pour the meal into your plate. Your single plate. Which is washed occasionally.
TheobromineAddict
That's not a bachelor meal. Although to be honest, the true bachelor meal is the pizza you eat with your fingers.
TheArrestingAbhorrentArrantAbominableAlliterator
Totino's Pizza, not rolls, cooked on the grate, cut on cutting board. No plate.
jerbern1
#8 that's not how sound works.
AuryxBecauseWhyNot
You don’t know how satisfying it is to have that be my exact thought, word for word, and then get down here to find it as the top comment.
TheJuiceLoosener
I couldn't pick out the correct answer, but I definitely can pick out one wrong one. Follow me for more tips on how to ace the SAT
abmoraz
Sound is additive, but the scale ("Bels") is not. It's logarithmic and inversely proportional to the distance from the source. Getting that many cats together would take up such a large space that They from any given point measuring the sound, the vast majority of the 2bn cats wouldn't be functionally adding to the noise. It would be louder, but not that much louder. Instead the sound would be heard over a much larger area.
valkyriepalmtree
Cats are not bound by the laws of nature.
hhggg3000
You must not have heard my cat at 3am.
dreammer243
catastrophic
Allrighty
Their reasoning isn't sound?
SergeantTerryJeffords
That person just multiplied the numbers and got a number that would mean the destruction of the entire planet. For reference, a nuclear explosion is between 220 and 230 dB
aThingWithTheStufAndTheJunk
Wayyyyyy more than just the planet. 1,100 dB is theoretically enough to create a small black hole. 150,000,000,000 dB is... I'm not sure the *universe* could handle that.
[deleted]
[deleted]
zimirken
Nope. Its +8db. Multiple sound sources of equal intensity can only go up to 8db higher than the single source. ~sound and vibration class in college
ZachariasWolfe
No offense intended just curiosity, but could you possibly find me some sort of source for that other than essentially that you heard it somewhere? I can't find anything useful on Google because my searches keep coming up with people asking about just two sounds, so I'm hoping knowing the proper terms you may find something. It seems very in unintuitive that there would be a limit. What happens to the rest of the sound energy?
zimirken
So as sounds add up the increase in db approaches 0. After searching, I believe the 8db was more of a rule of thumb rounding, as I found differing cutoffs on various websites from 10db to 20db. Since it was an engineering class, not a science class, the 8db limit was probably a practical cutoff for real world applications, as opposed to a hard mathematical cutoff.
ZachariasWolfe
In that case it very much does sound like the 8 dB would be a practical limit, since that would be 6-7 identical in-phase sounds equidistant from the observer, so that covers up, down, left, right, forward, and back, or a pretty good circle around an equipment operator. Any more than that is going to be problematic to try to physically place in most circumstances, and one or two more a bit further away at that point isn't making much of a difference either due to the attenuation.
albaboss
Oh I’m sure. It’s notoriously difficult to herd cats
ZachariasWolfe
It's also assuming that these cats are in perfect harmony, directing all their sound together at a location for 100% perfect constructive interference, AND they are all VERY close together. A lot of sounds are measured at 1m, so that 163 dB would have to be a point 1m away from all 2billion (or at least, 1m away from the 70 db cats, ranging from about 0.56m to 1.77m for the 65 db cats and 75 db respectively). I don't know how you fit 2 billion cats into such a space without killing them all.
zimirken
It's +8db. Multiple sound sources of equal intensity can only add up to 8db over the volume of a single source. After that the increase drops to 0. ~sound and vibration class in college
anothergingerbeardman
Ha. This guy doesn't know how to fit the cats
jcgitsfkh69000
That one’s always bothered me. The decibel level isn’t going to compound.
firesnake
It is a power sum not a linear sum, so it would go up by 10 log10 (2,000,000,000). Neglecting spreading losses, which would be huge, that would only be a 180 dB increase, so 250 dB IF and only if you stacked every cat in the exact same space and completely broke physics. Adding spreading losses with a physical arrangement, you're probably in the 100 dB range.
joenoone
It's logarithmic
PolarbearsToenails
says you
ActualZedAxial
You're right. This is why stadiums and crowds are notoriously only the volume of one loud person.
GiddyKipper
That’s not correct? Is it?
GiddyKipper
Eight people shooting will sound twice as loud as one - it doesn’t compound but it will add to an extent
jerbern1
If it worked to the degree as presented in the post the mere fact that millions of people talk at the same time all day would mean we all would be deaf.
ActualZedAxial
WAT? Speak up sonny I have the deaf from all the people talking at once
JesaraB
I mean, I am pretty sure it would compound, but it wouldn't Multiply, as in for example, 2 people shouting in sync will be slightly louder than either of them shouting alone, but not remotely twice as loud.
Zedrapazia
So in order to make a cat sonic boom, we'd have to bring all cats on earth to the same place and have them meow in unison?
JesaraB
A sonic boom has nothing to do with volume. A sonic boom is just the name of the shockwave formed by an object at or exceeding the speed of sound, so the sound it produces stacks on itself.
Zedrapazia
How unfortunate, I don't understand anything about anything ...
All I know is that some people can shatter glass with their voices, and jets can do that too if they make sonic booms.
SergeantTerryJeffords
It is twice as loud on a linear scale, but sound is logarithmic
JesaraB
That sounded Mostly right but just off, so looked it up and yeah sound is more complicated than that, and the form the sound takes will affect whether it doubles or potentially up to quadruples (if they form a constructive amplifying waveform), but not beyond that. But yes the dB scale is logarithmic and both of those would be barely notable increases.
TrashAtItsFinest
So… how loud WOULD it be if all cats meowed at once?
oldguyexlurker
#33 That's... like, really sad. 1st, she lost like 49,998 babies which is, you know, a bummer. But probably good on balance since if she did any better, the seas would be friggin' TEEMING with octopuses. 2nd she gave her life to get a 0.004% on that test. I didn't do THAT badly in diffy-q. (I mean, it was close, but... I LIVED!)
HowlingRollercoaster2
Lived how long?
menemyr
The really really sad? It isn't a case of the mother not being willing to go get food. It's a case of literally accepting the end.
I listened to a podcast where a researcher had been caring for this octo they were studying for years. Then when the octo laid her clutch of eggs, researcher tried to feed her and she would gently take the food, sit it off to the side, and caress the person's hand instead. Just.. heartbreaking stuff.
Zedrapazia
There's an aquarium close to where my aunt lives where they tried what would happen if they were to remove the eggs from the enclosure of the female octo to see if she would start eating again (as it is done with, for example, ball pythons).
The point of the experiment was to see if they could use her for breeding more than once (rare species).
The answer is yes, after a few weeks she'll eat again, but octopi still have an awfully short life span for such smart creatures, only like 3-7 years.
oldguyexlurker
Interesting. Thanks!
TheJuiceLoosener
This is what it means to be a stable population. The adults reproduce, and only a number sufficient to replace those adults survive to their own successful reproduction.
thebeanzmemez
Well yes on one hand, but that data provided doesn’t allow for significant loss of life (like from predators or disease) before reproduction. Which is why it doesn’t seem accurate IMHO.
pixelscapes
You’re right; the stat in the meme is wrong. After she guards up to 100k eggs and they hatch, about 1% (a lot more than “2”) survive predation in the planktonic stage. Then, “once settled to the sea floor, juvenile octopuses grow rapidly and have a significantly higher survival rate.”
thebeanzmemez
Thank you
TheJuiceLoosener
That's the denominator. The denominator can be whatever it is, it doesn't matter; it accounts for all loss of life before reproduction. What matters is the numerator is stable over generations. That's inherent. If it's three surviving, on average, then that's a population that's growing by 50% generation over generation.
pixelscapes
Just 2 surviving is not a steady rate, given predation that could happen meanwhile. Anyway, the stat is wrong. (Summarized in a separate comment.)
TheJuiceLoosener
The stat isn't wrong. Poorly phrased, maybe. Nothing "survives" in the long run, but only two, on average, live to see their own successful reproduction. Again, this is inherent to defining a stable population. If a population is stable, then the numerator is 2. You can count/estimate the clutch size and get the denominator, and that's your survival rate, but for a stable population, a numerator of 2 is the correct answer.
littlecoatfatguy
#1 slicing off small pieces of cheese, and eating each one cold on a tortilla chip.
Eldibs
I don't have an ultimate "single guy" meal, but I do have an ultimate stoner meal. I made a pizza, but instead of pizza crust, I used a steak. The fun part is that I don't even smoke. Never been stoned in my life.
Moonthatspellsmoon
To be fair, the only difference between this and cheese and crackers is that chips are fried whereas crackers are baked. And nobody would bat an eye if you said you had cheese and crackers for dinner
Teas
I bought what I thought was a head of lettuce from a street market because I wanted salad. First time living alone. Didn't know how to cook or what to buy. I decided to just eat it- The next day a friend opened the fridge and asked why the only things in there were a bottle of ketchup and a cabbage with a bite out of it.
Bignholy
Velveeta on crackers.
darnesey
Red Baron cheese and garlic french bread with pizza rolls on top. Inspired by a short lunch break in retail trying to microwave both at once.
ChernoGamma
Oh you mean Lunchables Nachos? Yeah
ThisGuyHere
Had a loaf of bread in the pantry, so I made a loaf of toast.
littlecoatfatguy
Nah, gotta keep the power bill down.
peastream
Dipping pre-cooked bacon in nacho cheese dip. While I was showering.
pandemicpolemic
Oh, come on. That can’t be true or if so it happened with extenuating circumstances. Like meth or LSD or something.
peastream
I was high on loneliness if that counts.
trigonman3
Slicing pieces instead of biting them from the block? Fancy.
BklynPunisher
When you’re fancy you slice the cheese. When you’re poor you cut the cheese 💨
littlecoatfatguy
You've clearly never been broke enough to have to make the cheese last until more money shows up.
ElectricSlideOrchestra
Eating nacho cheese Doritos and squirting easy cheese on every one before I eat it.
Snuggelapolous
Avsfan
The meme that says as a kid you just wanted Goofy to understand why the Powerline concert is so important, and now as a parent you understand Goofy just wanting to spend time with Max. Ugh I wish I didn’t carry this onion on my belt, for fashion.
Hashbrown123
Water crackers and mustard.
littlecoatfatguy
GenStrike
Cream crackers and butter. A dash of salt. A pinch of paprika.
FabergeBurrito
Mayonnaise sandwiches
AFrugalMoogle
Ketchup sandwiches for me
JustAnotherRandomCommenter
i used to salad cream sandwiches when i was at uni.
Blud4BludGod
I dated someone who ate those not because she had to, but because she liked to (at the point I met her, anyway. Her mom made them for her when she was little, because poverty). She liked to freeze them the day before and crush them flat :/. She was a really wonderful person and I hope she's doing well wherever she is out there, though.
FabergeBurrito
Was it Hellmanns/Best Foods? If that's the case, I wish her well also. If it was anything less, I hope she's doing better than she was. I'll be honest, these days if I have really soft bread & Hellmanns, I make them sometimes too. Shhh
erikleorga
Layer of tortilla chips- thin, layer of shredded cheese, then another layer of chips with a different cheese. Microwave.
BklynPunisher
Mmm soggy chips
littlecoatfatguy
The question wasn't "what's a better way to prepare that food", it was "what's the sad-bastard-est meal?"
TomBrokaw
Fuck that, I'm writing all these down. Keep em comin!
erikleorga
5 minute rice, butter, chicken bullion, water, microwave?
littlecoatfatguy
If you've got a microwave, and bullion.
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
Couscous and salad cream