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Part 127: http://imgur.com/gallery/RhjsV
Part 129: http://imgur.com/gallery/JQBPe
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MESSAGE ME YOUR CONFESSIONS!
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dkd1234
The guy waiting for a pregnancy test is going to be waiting longer than a day.
BlueAndGreenAndWhite
This one is relatively tame compared to a few littered with foul bachelor/ bachelorette frog worthy material. Still very entertaining.
blkbox
Y'ALL NEED JESUS
benderrodriguez
That disabled sister one. Damn.
TextWampa
Bareback Homewrecker, my only MAJOR issue with your behavior is your dumb ass not using protection. That's just fucking stupid.
Saskquatch
I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
SnoopDoggAttending
You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Galantis
Ear wax nope... Shit yeah alright.
FatForYou
Ear wax is fucking disgusting. I've never tasted shit, but ear wax tastes god fucking awful.
DarkTowerRose
@iupvotebadposts are you my husband?
IgnisMoltenheart
.....so if assuming this is true and not all made up, this guys a huge piece of shit
DaveTheMurderingHippo
So are those women.
brknsoul
Since he's barebacking, we can only hope that there's family court battles and dna tests in his future.
jaffa5
and also cock rott right?
c0diferous
Couldn't continue reading after I imagined a candle in my dick hole
USDepartmentOfEnergy
I'll take "Things That Never Happened" for a 1000, Alex.
Rararawr
"This major WW2 event allegedly resulted in millions of deaths, primarily of jews, and the disabled"
USDepartmentOfEnergy
Lol Armenian Jeopardy?
Noyoucomeupwithausername
What is the holocaust
GoodOlZR
Why you gotta end with the sad one?
Eldiablo17
Hmwrkr - I hope you die accidentally on purpose, by someone who takes you by the dick and shoves your microdick in a wood shredder.
FullMetalBitch
2) I anonymously sent him a letter that said "you have a micropenis, you can't be a dick too", years later I hear it still bothers him
FullMetalBitch
I had a bf I found had cheated on me w/ 4 women at once,first I just hated him but now I understand he was insecure about his micropenis. (1
Zvw2
I hate everyone involved in cheating if you know they're in a relationship you should not silicate sex from them.
WhoPaidForThisFloor
Ooo silicate sex. It's crystalline.
DarthReznor
I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you've been cheated on, lol
mybrainwonteven
I have never been cheated on, but I 1000% support @Eldiablo17's point.
Eldiablo17
Nope never been cheated on that I know of. And if he was talking about some other dude's girlfriend I wouldn't care as much.
heyopeps
I'm assuming you haven't, so you don't know how worthless it can make you feel. Nothing like validation of a feeling that you already had.
DarthReznor
1/2 I have, back when I was a teenager who didn't know much about how relationships worked. Now I'm happily polyamorous, and I get baffled
DarthReznor
2/2 when I see the absolute rage fest that gets directed at anyone who does anything to challenge the sacred myth of happy monogamy
heyopeps
When a couple agrees to be monogamous, that's when it's a problem. An individual is breaking the contract they both agreed to. 1/?
BigNad
Happy birthday to urethra, happy birthday to urethra
FatForYou
Splinters
Winterwonderstruck
My great grandmas middle name is Urethra, so we could've sang this to her on her birthday. Too bad she went by her first name Beulah.
stickitinuryolo
Grandma Allnite was my favorite.
YourWaifuIsTrash
I think I can guess why she did
Leifinator
stay classy @ruffcats (holy shit I actually found this in usersub)
IceCreamDoomMachine
I found this one early because I follow him on Twitter
Beardgoesalltheway
So was the manager pregnant?
stickitinuryolo
No but her 18yo lesbian boyfriend was pissed.
NowSneakyTurtle
Yes and no because the story is BS. Pregnancy tests don't work the next day.
Ryanodinereceptor
Why would you wait for her to buy a pregnancy test the next day? Taking one the next day won't tell you shit. Were you referring to Plan B?
riegspsych325
I wonder if they're just uneducated in birth control and other safe sex info
Ryanodinereceptor
Well that's even scarier!
RipSaturn
That's a strong force if a fake nail broke off in your butt
DiarrheaTouchdown
Maybe they were those shitty press-on nails? Those pry off really easily.
lazybummm
What a name
ribidoo
#peniscandle
MnemonicMonkeys
#teampeniscandle
degenerator
#burnswhenIpee
MeatSparkles
Ok the eating your own shit finger one is just fucking gross.
Rekkora
Just the whole "eating yourself" thing that guy had was gag-worthy
me6800
Every time i see one of these i know my day is going to be great, because no matter what i do, or what i say, it won't be as bad as these.
Meisti
To the guy who eats his own shit, you're disgusting.
westmd
Touché
CrimsonGhost107
But dingleberries are always in season.
ionlylooklikeapotato
Not as disgusting, however, as the sick fuck the gets off on revenge fantasies and breaking marriages. People are awful.
FappedInAmerica
Yeah, that is some sick fucking shit right there!
penguishark
They could honestly have a disorder that causes this.
GoffaKearsilv
The weirdest part is that he could have stayed anonymous but he wanted you to know who he was
GoochoLibre
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Thats-A-Bold-Strategy-Meme.gif
dungeonsandsnuggles
Some people are hopelessly desperate for attention. ANY kind of attention.
TheBackgroundMan
I didn't know that I could.
johnathan741
Too late now shit eater
TheBackgroundMan
I know. ;-)
ThatLoudGiraffe
You're my god damn hero, you know that?
Sionas
I know everyone is different, but that's some serious shit.
RoninSven
Ha! Puns.
ogg149
Fuck man you're like the unsung hero of honesty
PublicRelations
Jesus.
TaterLord
Jesus can't save him
MorgothTheDemonLordFormerlyKnownAsMelkor
@MOTHERFUCKINGJESUS
NinjaGrizzlyBear
But the TaterLord might be able to
TaterLord
No, he cant
shinyRK9
RandomEqualsFunny
Flawless execution
tiniweiner
You all kinds of fucked up
JudgeMentalCat
One question: Why? What's the appeal?
TheBackgroundMan
Disposal.
Cynistera
That's what trash cans are for.
TheBackgroundMan
I can't vacuum clean with a trash can.
ChrisPrattsTinyNipples
It's fake
JeSuisIvre
I hope:(
Ziggypiggyziggypiggy
Omg I got sick reading that. And it wasn't his shit? It was his fleshy insides ...?
CripPick
Are these all proven true? Cuz a lot of them just seem like bs
[deleted]
[deleted]
TheBackgroundMan
Please don't.
Iwanttoseeyounaked
I can't talk for the others, but mine is true. If you were a doctor I guess you could check my medical history.
Coltboy
TIL my jaw clicks are to be worried about
Iwanttoseeyounaked
It can lead to other issues (your cartilage probably shifted away from the bone). If it starts hurting you should see an orthodontist.
xthetenth
Yeah, I've got a clicky jaw from tooth grinding and now I'm concerned.
degenerator
First, do this test: can you taste the difference between pussy and French fries? If not, then worry.
CannotRememberMyLongUsername
TMJ can be bad.
SupineStar
A pregnancy test wouldn't work the next day, right? Morning after pill and give her nail back, done and done
JonathanHoag
The best pregnancy test can detect a few days after the first missed period. So like 2 1/2 weeks after conception.
FreeStevenAveryAndGiveMeFloofs
Finders keepers on the nail, not obligated to return.
tangybreath
Absolutely not. That one made me hope it was fake. If it isn't, I pity the stupidity of both of them.
SweetGeekling
Maybe she wanted to see if she was already preggers so she would know who the father was.
Shmewkey
Who would want that nail back?
HeavyMetalMonk
I think it was more about getting it out of his ass vs giving it back.
Ziggypiggyziggypiggy
Do they not know how reproduction works??? Like the most sensitive pregnancy tests take a week after conception to detect. Such lies.
stilev
Its not that they aren't even sensitive enough, Implantation doesn't occur till day 7-10, at which a hospital lab MAY be able to detect HCG
Thisthough
That one made me mad! Anyone who has ever remotely had a scare knows it doesn't work right away. The peons part was weird too.
NowSneakyTurtle
No it wouldnt. Urine or blood. I bet it's a fake story because of that.
Ironbunny
perhaps they boned weeks ago, and just happened to do so again that night? idk...
stickitinuryolo
I believe the last line.
kingofshitafuckmountain
lemme just say MRGALERGALERGALLLLLLLLL
Senisty
no, seriously. I knew someone that thought they were pregnant 2 days after sex (not with me, but I'm okay with that)
TravelerOfBothTimeAndSpace
I was just about to say, pregnancy tests take 3 weeks to read positive
HeWhoPours
Guy purposely fucking married women: you're both a moron and a piece of shit
Knivz
The women are in the wrong, not him.
Lezio
Huge piece of shit.
songbardbird
Especially because he isn't bring truthful about exclusivity and based on his description, they aren't using condoms. VERY unsafe.
WeCantCallPeopleWithoutWingsAngelsSoWeCallThemFriends
Be safe in the knowledge his situation WILL blow up in his face someday. It always does. Until then he can "not regret" whatever he wants.
thedustygrad
Someone doesn't react to cheating like that unless they were an asshole to begin with.
Aquilarden
"I was cheated on and the experience left me so emotionally vacant that now I knowingly create twice my own misery. No harm in that, right?"
zhukoz
But one day he'll be too old to attract those married women, then he can collapse emotionally. So all good lol
CowsAreLame
Well, his trust in any relationship is apparently gone, but this doesn't justify those actions. He's just making it worse...
ohdeepthought
If you've been hurt and betrayed like that i don't see how doing it to other people is ok. If anything you are worse as you felt that pain.
thomerow
Am I missing something here? He is single and can do what he want. The women are the ones cheating on their husbands.
iliketosaysomethingandthenjustbanana
Aparently people are more upset with his motive than the action itself. I also believe cheating on your husband is worse.
ohdeepthought
Behaviourally speaking he's pretty dull. He'll either never heal or he'll face his issues. Hope it's the second option, less angry husbands
Coalitionofchefsnamedjeff
B-b-but he was cheated on! That doesn't make it ok? /s
Etazin
I used to exclusively pickup girls with boyfriends because it was easier. They put there guard down when you "just wanna be friends"
goodguygonebad
but what about the married women?
ShivaTheDestroyerOfWorlds
Also Mormons... Yep definitely mormons. Fucking autocorrect.
Sumpte
They are also terrible people, but they're not bragging about it online either (well, probably not)
HeWhoPours
Ya they are acting like horrible people as well, just addressing the person that would maybe see it. So dumb
MadPoopah
Also horrible, but they (presumably) aren't cheating with the intention of ruining some random person's life...
bond100
No. They're pieces of shit. He's just a dude who happens to have a thing for skanks.
FuzzBall87
Consensual sex is consensual sex. To each their own.
FrenchPressThePoodle
fucking crazy that the truth gets downvoted. It's consenting adults, move the fuck on.
Sumpte
Spoken like someone who has never felt the touch of a woman.
FuzzBall87
You assume I like women.
Sionas
Same thing I said to the guy who wanted to die last week. Conesual homicide is pretty fun. Lel.
wuttheshit
You're kidding, right? You're not actually excusing someone being an asshole are you? Of course not. You can't be. What a silly question.
FuzzBall87
Ahh, the assumption that the things I say online mean or change anything. #banvaccines
wuttheshit
Person who k owe what they said, stands by what they said and doesn't care. And you driving away from the point o lay provides more evidence
wuttheshit
The only impression anyone has here is over the Internet. Of course people are going to question what you said. Your response is that of a
wuttheshit
That you actually believe what you said.
FuzzBall87
The way you call me out on my bs, really turns me on. I have such a hard on right now.
Sionas
He's trolling you. I would advise not to respond further.
theyaregooddogsbront
Seriously. I hope he doesnt pass any std's to either of those women. Not that they are any better, but 2 wrongs dont make a right.
Sumpte
It's not the women themselves I'd feel bad about, but they'd pass it on to their unsuspecting husbands.
StuckInBetweeen
I'm conflicted. In a way I hope that he does give it to them just so that their husbands find out. Better they do now than ruin their lvies.
Nova5269
So you want men who didn't do anything getting STDS?
thefragrantvagrant
If the women are having affairs it's possible that they are not having regular sex with their husbands......so no STDs for them?
Nova5269
They'd have to be in a completely sexless marriage for them not to get it, even sex just once in a great while they could still get it
TrapsAreIllegal
They might be hotwifing andhe didn't know
HeWhoPours
What the hell is hotwifing? From what I read he was getting off on banging other people's wives and them not knowing
TrapsAreIllegal
Hotwifing is when the husband tells the woman to fuck someone else so he can fuck her after. He gets off on reclaiming her.
TrapsAreIllegal
They could just be cheating, but not all hotwife situations are known to all parties before hand.
DeadlyFood
Stuff like that, even just reading it invokes a feeling in me that I can only describe as wanting to throw up but can't.
DeadlyFood
Like how much of a freaking monster to you have to be to cheat on someone who puts that much trust in you, or be someone who assists affairs
SixHundredThousandBees
"I regret nothing." - @hmwrkr
CoeusDarksoul
that, and "Don't care, had sex." too prolly...
stickitinuryolo
"I bury my anger and grief so I regret nothing."
DefinitelyNotEmmaWatson
Earwax... well I guess you have to draw a line SOMEWHERE.
UnemployedReceptionist
http://49.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_loet4vU71v1qhd14co1_500.gif
adventuretoin
SomewEAR* - ftfy
TestTickCoals
Have you ever tried it? It's horrible
MadSlapper
Lol
Dragonmaster3000
How do you accidentally eat ear wax
DildoSchwagins
Dravit
Earwax is pretty nasty though. I'm assuming the same of scabs, dried shit and toe-jam as well but I can't speak from experience.
CripPick
I really don't believe that one. That one just seems like a troll.
IveGotJustTheThingForYou
Couldn't continue you after that.. I'm done with this whole post.
AnotherGoblin
As long as that line isn't across the butthole.
ForgivingCat
Keeps your immune system in check.
z0de
Choo Choo!
Stuebydoo
howdoisolvearubikscube
Reading that post made me ill
orangeorangutan
Probably makes him/her ill too
IAmThePermabannedAccountOfMyNameIsMrTorgue
Chillax, guys. That one is fake, obviously
[deleted]
[deleted]
retunedspider287
Isn't this a mental disorder though?
Amb1verse
It's not fake, I do it
Iforgetharrypotterisfiction
Alas! Ear wax!
Ang3lRocksYourSocks
Underrated comment of the night!!!!
DeusCaritasEst
Username checks out!
AdequateBehaviour
But eating scooped out shit is fine obviously
dungeonsandsnuggles
What a nasty ass mofo. That just makes me sick. What the hell is wrong with people?
ratfaceddog
JackOfAllTradesMasterOfBaters
Right, but rusty hook'ing yourself is just fine apparently -__-
Rekkora
Worst part is enough people do it for there to be a term for it
AliBarber
HAH! rusty hook. In other news I just vomited in my mouth a little
brandonleecool
Did you eat the vomit back down?
ClaretEnforcer
who doesnt?
pooballoon
MugsMoney
Of course! It's not like it's earwax or something disgusting like that.
AliBarber
You took the words from my mouth sir
Lawlrofllmfao
That's butthole stuff right. I didn't know there was a name for that.
COLONELOBVlOUS
How would you find out, without having some sort of experience with it?
ThePrimrose
Lmao, is that what that, um, 'act' is called or did you come up with that amazing name?
SmokinBirdie425
I understand where that last one is coming from but it's still the most depressing.
nanamonster
My neighbor's daughter went to school with me. I never knew how to speak to her. 1/2
nanamonster
She acted kinda normal but also seemed to have down syndrom or a birth defect. I also wondered how she would have sex or masturbate. 2/2
ptcena19
It hit so close to home it hurt. I just want her to be normal. But for her...this is normal.
thefallen
My older brother is disabled, and hes the happiest person Ive met, he struggles with things but I don't wish he were different, hes perfect.
2020happened
I had an older sis who was handicapped (I was born because my parents didn't want to end on a sad note). I had the same thoughts sometimes..
GoogleFucker
That 'was' is scaring me :(
2020happened
She died when I was 12 (I'm 26 now). I grew up helping to take care of her.
GoogleFucker
So sorry to hear that. :(
Greymalum
I think it's sad the top 3 comments are about the guy eating poop. I had a child who died from their disabilities, his name is Kade and 1/2
Greymalum
he was almost 8. I will remember to teach my kids just how good they have it because they never know when they will have less. Humility.
GoogleFucker
I wish I could hug you.
anygirlx
Humility and gratitude are amazing things to not teach our children, but everyone. Unfortunately, I'm never sure of the right way to do that
brandonleecool
This was depressing
Greymalum
Life isn't. It's only down for a little while and there is so much more love than hate
SovereignPhantasmia
You're like a ray of sunshine. Shine on amiga/o
GoogleFucker
Can confirm, have a brother with special needs. He's my best friend, but damn I wish he was 'normal' sometimes.
Alkkine
same. childhood was pretty lonely
madeofmess
It is incredibly isolating, but there are a few support groups. sibs.org.uk for one.
PhloydPhan
The one about the Welsh and Argentinian fathers sounds like a romantic comedy.
forallthewins
Or the relationship between the Xbox and Sony employees
TotallyNotYourTeacher
Spanish movies: Ocho Apellidos Vascos and Ocho Apellidos Catalanes. Unfortunately the subtitles lose most of the jokes.
DoctorWhatsMyNameAgain
Plot twist: the romance is between the Welsh father and a sheep belonging to the Argentine family.
AbstractBettaFish
I find it funny that THAT one the guy chose to stay anonymous, but the dude who scrapes his own butt frosting was like "this is me!"
vo0d0ogirl
Threes abysmally three one that hit me the most; imagine the fathers meeting...igniting some trouble PTSD...what a wedding :(
Jasperman62
Busy working on the screenplay here!
degenerator
That's more bullshit than this very list!
GimmeSomeCadbury
Sounds similar to Kane and Abel. Except the war part.
ordohereticusinquisitor
"Hey this is my boyfriends dad." *pulls out handcuffs* "Is tha' right?"
TonyTin
Sounds like some Romeo and Juliet stuff
assassin180sx
I really want to know what happens
DrewTheStampede
Or a Shakespearean tragedy
canibFrank
I really need to know whether they have met AND whether they might have looked at least a little bit familiar when they met again.
jokeyjokemaker
That would make a good movie, but probably more as a drama than a comedy
qussow
Edudramedy.
pineapplepuppy
I would watch it if it were a movie directed by Tarantino.
JohnFloorwalker
No no no... Michael Bay...
PhloydPhan
Perhaps, in a particularly bold casting call, he could choose Jason Statham to play a badass retired soldier.
degenerator
You said Argentinian. He said Argentine. Is this a UK/US thing?
EchoOfSnac
Unlikely. My spelling-checker recognizes both. The Wikipedia is titled "Argentines" while "Argentinians" is mentioned an alternative form.
PhloydPhan
but no one seems to agree on whether Argentine, Argentinian, or Argentinean is the correct adjective/demonym. (2/2)
degenerator
Yeah, that's what I concluded too. I've heard that "argentine" refers to silver, and that the nationality should be Argentinean/ian.
PhloydPhan
Because I am an awful employee, I just spent about 20 minutes trying to answer this question. Turns out it is not a US/UK thing, (1/2)
CowsAreLame
Dinner conversation be like
TheHorribleHades
I knew it was going to be that gif!
ThePrimrose
Im watching this show for the first time just finished that episode. Am I the only one that hates Walter?
CassandraCurieux
I kinda hated Walter. Gus was my favorite character ever. Like in all of TV history.
ThePrimrose
Omg mine too! He was just so fucking calm and collected. Very decisive and just an amazing character to watch.
CassandraCurieux
He really was!! I wish we could have learned more about his past!
DankMemeStealer
He made me angry but please dont hate him :(
ThePrimrose
So done that, that night I dreamt that I was turning him in to Hank.
ThePrimrose
He has become so manipulative and by any means necessary type of rationale. Then once he killed Mike I was done with him.
TheSkeletonWar
That's what the creator wanted, to make a hero into a villian. Though I love Walter forever.
ThePrimrose
I think I'm the only one fan that hates Walter. He doesn't seem bad ass he just seems like a narcissistic douche.
qussow
As an American with little knowledge of the Falkland war other than that it lead to the interruption of a Top Gear episode: I would watch it
FireBreathingFerret
The ridiculous failure of the Argentine military was what finally destroyed support for the brutal dictatorial regime, and led to its end
RandomAbscessMemories
"This is our island now." "Well the people living on it don't want it to be." "OPPRESSION!"
RandomAbscessMemories
Alternately, "We're taking this oil." "No you're fucking not." "FITE ME IRL BRITAN"
MrPoopyDickButt
Their only claim to the island was proximity, despite being inhabited by Britons, Argentina got slapped up like the little bitches they are.
WillowFox
Fuck you. Verily.
ElfSIut
BUT ITS CLOSE TO US. Well, Ireland is close to the UK... can we tell the irish people to fuck off and its ours? (Again)