deanurse
181956
4011
76
Jul 9, 2018 6:41 PM
deanurse
181956
4011
76
Wacked
Shit. I've been spotted.
sjbrooksy7447
Beat that cancer, then beat them cheeks
QueenOfEthiopia
No big mouth reference?? Im shocked.
BulkSausage
https://imgur.com/PCXTsrJ
ImJacksWittyUsername
Her instagram, in case anyone else was wondering: https://www.instagram.com/sammielev/
alsoAzrael
Lol, if she's having a dry spell, it can only be because of her own standards. Which is okay, but it's weird that she's also complaining.
ThinMartin
KTthecreeper
Nice
omnifeeder
8008 days. Not really though. Actually like 3 months? Feels like its been forever though.
kstar9909
TIL; people on imgur really need to get laid.
Lagerfunk
Y'all wank off to porn i bet, that's what's killing your game. Check nofap and yourbrainonporn Asap. Verified shite
giorgiolx
Remembering fight club scena
ASCIWhite
Amateur! I am on day 8395 and I don't even think about it anymore.
JinxRocks
2350 days here and a friggincurvy coat rack is tempting lol
Dionysus187
Did you know horrorporn dotcom has a plan for your fetish?
Akubarix
handbanana13
I get fucked just about every day it seems.
Willybum84
TheRuckestRick
With a profile picture like that I feel all you have to do is say yes once and your problem will be solved
GoldenRamoth
I'm pretty sure, that's a dude.
MemedtheStableBoy
Yeeahh kinda dumb.. like complaining about walking to a bunch of wheelchair kids
JessThe2ndBestt
I’m pretty sure almost anyone could get someone that wants to bang them
ImJacksWittyUsername
Her instagram, in case anyone else was wondering: https://www.instagram.com/sammielev/
AggressiveChickenSandwich1
Great... another soundcloud "DJ."
Armsbearer
And then everything is explained
shamusaran
Real talk though, I live in Alabama where am I supposed to meet women who have libidos instead of bible verses on an endless loop
philosoraptor1000
Christian Mingle.
ferdiepoboy
Louisiana!
surprisemotherfuckers
drive to florida or something?
HisDudness
New Orleans?
n0n53n53
something about your cousin's house or something
myusernameisavailable
27 years and virgin. Wondering how sex would be ?
thegreatkumquatmassacre
In my experience sometimes good, never fantastic, not like the movies and I might have been doing it wrong
funnyrating
Ancantia
It'll be two years in October and I'm *25* and *married*. Wtf
CrashingOut
If you're not joking, that's WORSE than being a 25yr virgin. Fix your shit before your 40 and look at what should be your peak yrs of 1/2
CrashingOut
2/2sexual activity and realize you wasted your fucking time. What, are you planning to save all the tail you want to bang for age 57? WTFman
n0n53n53
sounds like you married young and not the right person
AggressiveChickenSandwich1
Damn...
Tyreaus
Day 9,529. The demon has rejected my advances. He says even virgin sacrifices have standards. Losing hope.
Macewindow54
Look dude. Born again virgins don’t count. They taste like off brad cereal.
personalspaceinvaderspiff
don't eat cereal off of Brad
Tyreaus
Hey, it is NOT my fault I got roped into this reincarnation business, okay?
TheCrusher78
I can help you put your count back to zero
LurkingUntilImUseful
I could also help, but I'd probably just be a disappointment. *Cleveland laugh*
WildFireWind
SomeGuyWhoLikesThings
I am also willing
gaaaaalavant
Yeah, but they'd have to drop their standards to zero also
remko
YepThisIsStu
JebKermin
MindRape
IamJustinSane
Have you tried opening your front door and yelling, “I’m a woman who wants to have sex with someone!” That usually works for any female.
JamieSmyth
Except it doesn't.
tacotickler
It’s a joke not a dick, don’t take it so hard... that is also a joke FYI
IamJustinSane
Are you sure you’re female? Because in 50 years I’ve never seen a woman that can’t get laid if she really wants to. Try doing it in a bar.
Arnoxthe1
Assuming you're attractive, go on Tinder.
JamieSmyth
I think we may have found the problem
Arnoxthe1
I'm assuming it's a weight problem? If so, you need to eat better. In fact, eating better is just as, if not more important than exercise...
Arnoxthe1
BUT that doesn't mean you need to starve yourself or even start counting calories. The paleo diet is the best way to do this. Incredibly...
Animorphs
I frequented /x too much, I have tried to induce sleep paralysis intentionally so many times, and have yet to accomplish it.
WellIsThisTaken
Ignore all the stuff about energy and astral projection. It's a physiological thing. Lie on your back, nap during daytime, get a cold.
etcnotect
I've been getting it every once in awhile since as long as i can remember. I'm not sure why you would want it.
ididntgetthejobatfruitloops
Yay we can be sleep paralysis buddies
Krice110
I dont open my eyes. Still feel like someone is sitting on me but I remain calm and am ok
OneFootInTheGravyTrain
You too? Only happens to me a few times a year, but that fucking shadow demon has his hands wrapped around my throat. He's a bit of a dick.
HisDudness
Mine just sits on my chest and whispers all my shortcomings into my ear.
Dualpsiioniic
Huh, mine always grabs onto my ankles. Fucking foot fetishist horror-terror.
OneFootInTheGravyTrain
I named mine. It helps when it happens again, putting a name to a faceless terror. When I see him now, I think "Oh it's Eugene, fuck you"
OneFootInTheGravyTrain
Doesn't help much in the moment, but once I actually wake up, it helps with the aftershock terror
Dualpsiioniic
To be honest it isn't really scary at this point. Once i'm fully woken up it just seems pretty neat that sleep paralysis is a thing.
CHELFD
I two often have SP, but I just can't move, I don't actually see anything. Must be pretty terrifying to actually see stuff...
PTMdragon
Did it ship from bad dragon?
FartingDragon
Who the what now?
YOUPROBABLYSAWTHISNAMEINTHECOMMENTSANDLOOKEDBECUASEITSALLCAPS
Your username. Can you tell me how to get there. It's urgent.
ActionJohnnie
Username relevant
sudokori
Dragon dildos. Some actual sized. Dragon dildos. Some actual sized.
oggyswe
Bad dragon? *emerges from the shadows* i got wares if you got coins
RequiemOfHorror
I too have wares but would like more.
oggyswe
So ill put you down for a butt ton more?
RequiemOfHorror
feryooday
I have no coins but desire wares *fades back into shadows*
oggyswe
Theres otherways to pay for wares
porcupineinthewind
I remember coming across one of those videos of a webcam girl using milk or whatever to make a giant fucking mess. Creampie massacre..
sardonislamir
It isn't milk, it's designed that way with something they call cum lube.
surprisemotherfuckers
porcupineinthewind
"another creamy dildo cam" with a blue background and red satin robe. I lied tho it isn't a baddragon unfortunately.
HipsterJawn
.
Kerro1981
DeathPro
Looking at her profile photo, it looks like she already did.
stinkingyeti
There are profile photos?
stinkingyeti
Oh, unless you mean the twitter photo, then yes.
erragodofmayhem
Was anybody else not sure what ngl meant? Not gonna lie, I had to look it up.
ImUglyIRL
[deleted]
[deleted]
ImUglyIRL
MishiMoshiSquishyToesies
Ngl, I only figured it out after reading your comment ;)
efini69
Honestly, I only figured it out after reading yours lol
TheGhostofKennyRogers
I had sex earlier today. I put my penis in her *looks at writing on hand* bagina?
MoxieCat17
Why did this comment make my entire day worthwhile?
prepbatman
def thought the " * " meant butthole... until I kept reading.
blahtacosblah
I laughed more at this then the actual post
definitelynotawolf
*bergina
IsayiLoveYouaLot
Rofl. You win. Imma leave imgur because you filled my laugh quota. I love you
Revokingthesealofquality
No, that's the capital of Saskatchewan.
DeadWombat
Did you pee in her butt to make a baby?
Iamtheonewhobrowses
Hahahaha!
turfdraagster
verguba, dammit!
JamieSmyth
It's vegana you fucking virgins!
AggressiveChickenSandwich1
It's vagene (and bobs) if you're in India, you twit waffle!
JamieSmyth
Twit waffle!! XD