DoctorDerk
124645
1511
12
sauce:https://www.kake.com/story/42255182/diego-the-tortoise-who-saved-his-entire-species-finally-retires-to-uninhabited-island
Jan 14, 2023 1:26 AM
DoctorDerk
124645
1511
12
sauce:https://www.kake.com/story/42255182/diego-the-tortoise-who-saved-his-entire-species-finally-retires-to-uninhabited-island
tenkindsofawesome
Apparently their dwindling numbers were attributed to early seafarers finding them to be delicious.
Exdeath5000
That's a look of satisfaction right there
skip2043031415
A species saver ... well done Diego ...
TheAccursedHamster
"I fucked our species back into existence" is a pretty good bragging line.
misterwappy
This guy fucks
VandelayLatex
This comment definitely does not have enough upvotes and I’m sad I can only give it one. Look at the title of the post. THIS GUY FUCKS!!!
CatSparkleBreaker
rusty42marlin
Way to go Big Guy!
LewdSomnambulist
Life, uh, finds a way
TheUglyGuy
Sometimes it pays to be horny.
CheeseGreaterGood
Mitch McConnell can still get it up‽
mungtongue
::rocky voice:: "who rang the bell?"
momjeans92
All I can think of is that video with the little turtle making noises on a sneaker from years ago
PullHarder
I want some of what he's eating!
BorealFace
He's not staying on that island, he's coming to steal your girlfriend.
Targe0
Oh he's had her long before you got to her.
SkyeIngram17
I mean, did he even want to retire? Lol
Audasity
Meowzart
Unstoppable libido.
Interleaver11111111
hannahbutnotreally
Atta boy.
RoryBory
Silkyninja1
They look like terrifying purple satellite dishes. Really.
DoctorDerk
At least he died doing what he loved.
DaierMune
Yeah, Your mom.
hitdog42
Got em
Marsmallowmancer
Dumb question, but doesn't that narrow the gene pool if so many children are his?
YeastInfectedWhiskerBiscuit
Oh, he ain't done makin' babies yet.. He'll have that island's population boomin' in no time.
MrRandom314159
Dude fucked his species back into existence. Legend.
friendsofsandwiches
He's the big dick of tortois'
TeflonTrout
Go, Diego, go!
justpullnpray
Hopefully he reacclimates to the wild okay.
Targe0
They eat grass and leaves, and those islands have basically no predators. Doesn't take much of an adjustment from captivity to that.
BladeTurMoiL
My only concern is if he can even move himself anymore lol
thri1
He's been buck wild for 40 years. He'll be fine!
zeusdemigod131
They have plenty of nature centers on the Galapagos
Tomothy123
If not, it seems like he had a pretty good life…
wobblecopterrrr
I’ve had a couple tortoises, they are basically always trying to “reacclimate” to the wild, it’ll probably be fine.
TheArtistFormallyKnownAs
It's the great escape every day with tortoises until they're sleepy again.
StewedTomaters
I have a memory of watching a friend's Sulcata tortoise approach a strawberry top, taste it, walk around in a circle, get excited again
StewedTomaters
about the strawberry top, spit it out, walk in a circle, and repeat for about 10 minutes until I removed the strawberry top. Cute idiots.
masteryoplait
sound on
basti0731
oooo you're maing fun of him, like you sound any different
masteryoplait
Good point, my sounds are more ridiculous. I genuinely love this bc we don’t see all animals as having personalities & preferences when in
masteryoplait
fact, it’s amazing the ranges in personality in all critters from fish to birds.
BTrayaL1
Is that not problematic from the genetic diversity standpoint?
SirButcher
It is, but the alternative is the whole species dying out.
Targe0
Slightly, but he's not the only male. He was just the most enthusiastic.
HasteTheFool
We humans went through the same thing with Genghis Khan and we haven't been specially...violent... since...shit.
wobblecopterrrr
lysani
austinwizardforhire
Give her a couple of taps
DeeDoubleYu
Nature is horrific and teaches us nothing.
Granac
DiamondDogLedTasso
PutItInNeutral
sonomarco
So the species has a Genetic concentration?
DoctorDerk
Funnily enough, they had two males, but the other male wasn't interested in mating.
JustTawnee
mydamnkidsdontthinkimfunny
Diego definitely does NOT have a reptile dysfunction
lurkilydurkiler
boostcreep
RandyRandalman
That was fucking beautiful, and I thank you for the genuine LOL
PRNsedation
Tiggums
MrsHowVeryDareYou
baals
komeonnow
Funniest thing I've read in a long time! Thank you for the smile and chuckle.
BananaForScaIe
You. You. I like you.
cozynester
I wonder if this event will irrevocably change the standard libido of the species
lewisco90
Just hordes of horny tortoises as far as the eye can see
HasteTheFool
As you reach the Galapagos Islands you cower in fear as you hear Velociraptors from everywhere. Then the locals explain and all is worse.
TheAnswerWasAlwaysMoreLube
OneUniverse
I would hope it is inhabited by other giant tortoises.
Targe0
It's likely the Island where he was born.
HasteTheFool
There was probably a man who sailed the see.