superman222k
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156
hecking ducker atacc may fren mr homan!! i halp with protec frens!
dogo is trying so hard not to kill the goose
Jun 25, 2017 1:26 PM
superman222k
350301
9259
156
dogo is trying so hard not to kill the goose
DarkwatchOversouls
Ricky! Only one of my soldiers to attack a human on sight!
Kbotherobot
"Hold me back! Hold me back!!!" -goose probably
Entourage
It's not that the lab didn't want to hurt it so much as genetic knowledge not to bite the neck of a bird. Shit's pretty ingrained.
JakeoftheJakes
Put the damn phone down and get the goose away.
TheEyesofSyn
That dog is being so well behaved, biting just hard enough to stop the feathery honkfilled asshole while still being gentle.
pontiacgirl75
"honkedfilled asshole" love it! absolutely brilliant, ahahah
CM0n5ter
My dog would have snapped its lanky neck in a heartbeat
sarahsaurroar
Dog was being so gentle too. Like 'Don't MAKE me bite you harder noodle neck! You know I will! Leave my master alone!'
PocketCleric
noodle-necked psycho-swan is my new name for geese
CptRobotNinja
Geese are the devil and should be exterminated without mercy
13thDiablo
I hate this gif because the person filming was too interested in getting a video than getting rid of the goose, forcing their dog to do it.
ToastyToasterToastingToastily
Plot twist: dog was forcing goose to attqck.
adahop
Attqck? Sounds more like something a duck would do.
ToastyToasterToastingToastily
Whoopsie, lol. Nice one. :)
phizatmatt
You fuckin wot mate!
mzmzpants
why are geese so damn angry all the time????
recipe4icecreamsoup
I want to get the ducks perspective on this...
CrappleJack
part goose, part honey badger
SomeCrazyNerd
Geese are the bird equivalent of a honey badger.
TheCodiac
So, a normal goose?
myweaknessisstrong
All bastard
LukeKarr22
Goose Badger. What a frightening concept...
SortaKindaFunny
It's on par with the "Caza-Claw".
AntiDownVoteActivist
fuck yes that is
giggler
Someone please draw this...
samsonguy920
Gives me an idea of something to breed for when armaggedon comes
alexrego27
"Hey quit messin' around, mate." Dog probably
doctorWizardnipplefishytits
Ricky was cold-blooded man. He was the only soldier I had that was READY to kill humans on site!!! R.I.P. RICKY! ! !
loveshiba
R.I.P. RICKY
tinykoala
I literally just came to imgur after watching secret life of pets for the first time
booksyarntea
I totally read that in the bunny's voice. XD
Xehanortdark2
fluhatinrapper
?
loveshiba
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkma6pU_n1k
JeromeAlone
This gave me goosebumps.
jamesMemeMonster
Best comment ever
Firefenix203
Goose don't give a fuck.
Andreuseus
Zero F's giving!
TwoEyedWilly
Thank.
Stuebydoo
Ohh that's nasty
orangeisthenewbasic
Goose gonna goose
Counterfit
Die from massive head trauma after ejecting from a flat spin?
MattDerKomponist
Right?! It just goes after the human again even though the dog has a death grip on it's neck.
TwoEyedWilly
Its not really a death grip. The dog is trying to be as gentle as possible.
MattDerKomponist
Well, a potential death grip.
RMaybeth
they're winged honey badgers, truly.
Firefenix203
Too true mate.
cubsfan05
Maybe stop filming and help out?
spunkypewster
Dog, patient. Goose, asshole who doesn't understand boundaries.
LadyBumps
"Leave 'im Kevin! E's not worth it!" - Dog to Goose.
ILookLikeAPencil
I think it's strange how the goose isn't even concerned about the dog with its teeth wrapped around its neck.
SunBrolem
I'm betting the person has food the goose wants and THAT is why the goose has zeroed in on him so hard.
ILookLikeAPencil
It just wants to peck the fuck outta the human.
thewhifflingtit
That's a domesticated goose, we've bred the natural fear of humans and dogs out of them so they're easier to farm.
Mavgurian
Yeah, really looks easier to farm ...
JessieJanson
Goose is like "im so dead, might as well keep attacking" Only to find out its unhurt at the end and thinks goose jesus saved him.
[deleted]
[deleted]
JessieJanson
Pretty much face value. What else would a goose think when its alive after having its neck in a dogs mouth for 2 minutes?
Mavgurian
Till christmas at least.
melshot
Put the phone down!!!
fartinacolander
Don't film it, do something !
slipright
Dog could have bitten harder on the neck, chose not to.
BlackElkSpeaks
Isn't that what OP said... You just put what he said into slightly different words lol
fantasticjack
That's so sweet it's like "I don't wanna hurt u but ur hurting my person so u gotta go friend"
lambda18
I bit u but not bad fren. Now don com bek fren!
easybrz
This dogs bred to have a soft bite.
CanSomeoneHelpFixMySpacebar
I think you meant he chews not to.
Flatscreenface
Patient dog is patient
Loser37
I'm so proud of that doggy for protecting his human and still showing restraint
fracturematt
Not to mention he could have shaken it and really fucked it up.
Trollslegur
And you can see that the goose was not stopped and continued to attack.
Loser37
The goose continued to attack, but the dog had it under control. The threat was neutralized. Goose didn't need to be killed
pilojo
In other words, a well trained dog. Owner wasn't in peril, so no need for desperate measures.
Trollslegur
http://imgur.com/MttDEEK
JokesFlyOverMyHead
If the owner was actually in danger the dog would have chomped in a heartbeat
Trollslegur
http://imgur.com/MttDEEK
Frodoniku
Does that really matter though? Lol it's not going to kill the person obviously
Leaveittojebus
Send that dog to a police academy to teach a course on proper use of force
SpaztiC829
So that's why certain dogs only bark at black people.
skelitor120
Technically this isn't a proper use of force because the goose is still able to persist and therefor the victim is still in danger.
Leaveittojebus
I dunno, that jacket might be goose down, the dog might simply be restraining an anguished and grieving family member.
Leaveittojebus
And there's no sound, dude might be talking shit "Your mother sucks ducks for quackers!" Doggo doesn't wanna draw his doody weapon
ObnoxiousComma
"Alright, we have to make sure to be gentle with the man wielding a deadly weapon and threatening to kill us and our families".
Leaveittojebus
Or the guy who 'fits the description' and has a busted tail light, however you wanna interpret it.
Codered97
Your scenario is less than 1% of 1% of police interactions. Most officers will go their entire career without being in such a situation.
FrozenTime
Depends on where they work. Also, source?
ObnoxiousComma
Oh I'm sure that's true
blue9uy
If a goose does this shit to me I would just kick the shit out if it even if I get fk up in the process.
aqueueforyou
Hhahahaha srsly tho, all you'd need is one good kick. Their bones are fucking HOLLOW, their necks are friggin handles, damn ppl are pathetic
H3X0
Quickly grab the neck just beneath the head. Grab it beneath your hand with your other hand. Twist sharply. Dinner.
Aepsy
Yes! ... No!
ghostinshiningarmor
Yeah why the heck is this person just backing away??
DuckMom
You would not get fucked up. Geese are not able to inflict more than scratches on an adult unless they get hold of your fingers.
leighlovesbooks
I see these gifs and wish I could grab 'em by the neck and squeeze. Stupid birds.
blue9uy
I don't understand why people are so sensitive on taking any action to defend your self.
RoboCritter
Cuz its just a fuckin goose. U can literally just lay lay down on the ground with ur eyes tightly shut and it cant do shit.
ArchieWizard
WOW! I can't believe oyu KICKED THAT POOR DEFENSESELLES GOOSE!!!! you MONSTERERERR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SHAKING RIGHT NOW OMG..............
DeathToSwans
Geese are just full on pyschopaths.
Jowrdan
Nikolai5
We have territorial Swans near where I work because they have cygnets. They can take on small to medium dogs no problem.
samsonguy920
Not all, but definitely enough are to taint their reputation.
Executor32
BrontTheGoodBoy
"I thought you said you have buck teeth." -Dentist, probably
Mockingbirb
And dogs are truly our loyal friends! Hope someday all humans have understood that.
Uzernaime
Had a fear of geese for so long, ours would beat me up as a child
DownWithYouAll
oi you! your 50 times bigger than me! im going to fuck you up!
HillaryBanks
Agreed, I got attacked by a flock when I was 4. Course I live in Canada where we have more of those rude fucks than humans....
DeathToSwans
Yes. Not only that, they are smug bastards. They just walk across streets without regard for traffic.
Geracht
I've never understood why someone doesn't just grab the big ol' noodle neck and bend it in half when they're being attacked. Is it illegal?
Geracht
I don't really advocate animal violence, but if you're being attacked by one, I think defending yourself would be justified, no?
Azerai
Nature's scary, yo
MossyMoose
I have a fantasy of just fuckin sending a baseball bat into their dumb long heads
OrinPlays
Geese are assholes of the barnyard.
JimSilly
I laughed too hard at this.
112864
they detect psychopaths? nice
GingerLaird
They have a lot of issues that stem from childhood abuse. Break the cycle!
MoooCow
Kill the babies?
GingerLaird
I do not condone nor promote violence towards animals. That said; interpret it how you will.
classifiedairspace
Geez. I'll do it then.
ISquanchYou
So......youre saying my ex was a goose??
classifiedairspace
Wow! Brilliant!
flarflarf
This is why I eat Foie Gras. Not only is it delicious, but in some small way I get to take part in the suffering of a goose.
classifiedairspace
PSYCHOPATH: "The walk my ex took as soon as we got back from our honeymoon."
SoludisSnake
Hurrrrrrrrr
Mmmmmh. *unzip*
CristiSsS
What the duck?
Executor32
Be back in 2 minutes, gotta gag the goose.
TheGuyWhoBeatsHisMeat
Executor32
You were 9 hours and 58 minutes too late for that, I'm afraid.
TheGuyWhoBeatsHisMeat
I'll wait for the next one
CheeseIsNaturesFudge
I recall writing from some bloke in the middle ages who tested for the best bum-fodder, he settled on a gooses neck as the most luxurious.
JupiterJedi
Wait...That's not a chicken..Why...Nevermind
speedgracer
A Gøøse once bit my sister.
classifiedairspace
Huh. So I wasn't the first one. And she told me I was! Liar!
davecoulierssuperfullhousefanclub
No, really!
Kahmael
TheWholeOfOneZombie
Certainly lacking in social decorum.
thegriffin88
They are assholes. Go on kill it, you're a good boy.
mckenna310
Swans are even worse.
DeadTuesday
Got one in my garden blocking access to he river for kayak. This one isn't so sure of itself. I've seen smaller shits from a large dog.
CardioVascular
I had a flock of geese, they are just uber protective of what they love and know
ThatDidgeridooPlayerInSpongebob
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/rugrats/images/2/24/Vlcsnap-2013-02-08-01h54m53s172.png/revision/latest?cb=20130208065518
imachikenlol
I always say, "Geese are hell's pigeons"
nickolai252
That's a duck
DeathToSwans
Well ya sure but my statement still stands. I never referred the statement to the post. I always talk trash about geese. Swans too.... ewww.
avi8tor
THATS A FUCKING SWAN
DeathToSwans
Definitely not a swan. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.
Anfalicious
Don't swans have black bits on their beaks? Either way, swans are also jerks.
DeathToSwans
Swans are even bigger jerks...
Lugh314159
...and stupid, too! Considering how easily that dog could break its neck.
nicklefarts
Time has not been kind to the dinosaurs.
Mechlai
is it wrong that fighting a goose is on my bucket list?
Ilikegiraffesandfood
That is a fabulous idea
GloryBeToME
Yes, unless you're a masochist, then go ahead. The goose is going to win
GloryBeToME
... they always do...
MisterButtersStotch
Hmm guy must've said something pretty offensive to the goose
emmalee60
the guy called him a "honkey" and the goose just lost it.
TheDamDog
Geese come pre-offended.
Hubb
He said gooses instead of geese and the goose just lost it
Wills0ns
He probably said Boo.
TheProofIsInDePudding
or maybe it's cause the dude's wearing a down jacket.
mgoodwin1631
He called it a mallard
AlkeneThiol
Anthonlee
Screaming "GO FUCK YOURSELF" and flipping the bird is a pretty effective way to offend a goose I've learned.
AVeryVeryVeryVeryVeryVeryVeryLostDragon
Why do I feel like you have experience with that jazz? :P
Anthonlee
I am a scientist. It's what I do
AVeryVeryVeryVeryVeryVeryVeryLostDragon
Oh cool. What do you research?
Anthonlee
Science.
apeinui
He just honked at it.
frogmineh
"ey goose, your feathers are fuckin ugly"
harshtarg
"good morning, goose."
MemeMcgee
-WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY-
shriek
"goose morning"
BewareTheCrocigator
"u wot m8? say that again to my face"
XaviersSnakeArm
*goose hissing noises*
Not2religious
Kick that fuckin thing. The goose. Not the good boy
Justarandomgiffairy
That is a bad idea. If you don't seriously injure it 2 seconds after you kick it the goose'll remember it has wings and go for the face
whistledink
Then make sure you injure it. Geese are fucking assholes.
owlest
no hurt birb plz
NickFleming
That sounds like something a birb would say... OWLest
AlexanderTheGood
I'm surprised the dog didn't just rip it's neck off
JayHedSpace
That goose would have kept on coming anyways.
Sirsir94
I'm surprised the goose didn't turn
hooliganb
I grew up with an English Springer Spaniel: obedient duck retriever and she was the goodest girl. Even so, she'd have slaughtered that bird.
MigraMines
My dog would have ate it for sure
HmmICantThinkOfACleverUsernameRightNow
*eaten
SneakySnarkySnake
Looks like he could be part Lab. If so, waterfowl dogs have what's known as "feather mouth" so as not to damage a prime catch for a trophy.
SneakySnarkySnake
I should add that this term is from the North West, whereas I have heard "soft mouth" used elsewhere.
INeedAnUserNameButNoneIsFree
I'm relieved I didn't see such scene again. Mine did it. :I
poyayyomyflavo
You can't really rip a neck off. More like rip the head off via the neck. Or with the neck. I'm not sure
YourLittleHoodratFriend
Because they're good boy
psychologicaltrap
Dogs don't have hands. If they eat to pull something away from people without hurting anything, they have to use their mouths.
spiceass9000
Mine would have, she get real angry when things actually attack me. That being said she can tell the difference between fighting and play
turtlezapato
How often are you attacked?
spiceass9000
Well once by a peacock, and another time when a friend and I got an altercation
akhzoz
Labradors are very, very gentle biters.
Donkeymong
Hes a good boy
chunkblaster
But he'd be the best boy if he murdered that damned white feathered anger flapflap
IronPotatoes
They're all good dogs, Bront
LaissezFairy
He's a good dog Brent
berithwow
there's a reason why hunting dogs get said to have a soft mouth
SneakySnarkySnake
The term is "feather mouth" in the North West.
mygfgoestoadifferentschoolyouwouldntknowher
Icommentwithnospaces
Phrasing!
ProffessorWaffles
CaitheRaith
I'm surprised you used the wrong it's. I need to change my name to Grammar Police.
Donkeymong
Or just get a life
nghk
Yeah. Race to the bottom and join the masses.
AlexanderTheGood
Did I? I thought because the neck belongs to the 'it' in question, it is possessive and therefore has an apostrophe? May be wrong like
CaitheRaith
Its is possessive. Careful, it's saliva is poisonous! = ... it is saliva is. Careful, its saliva is = the saliva of it is ... helpmehelpyou
flameshark11
That's with other words but yeah it's = it is. And its = its(possession)
happyham
Waterfowel also have rediclously strong necks for feeding. You can pick them up by their neck and they will still be able to breathe just fi
TrappedShadows
Did someone pick you up by your neck and you couldn't breathe in able to finish your reply?
Mithi
The trick is to swing them in a circle.
diablosword
Crack it like a whip
Theflyingbigbadwolf
Just like my .... nvm
PommedeTerreur
Well trained water dog. Used for retrieving waterfowl during a hunt are trained to be gentle.
armstronacchi
TBH if they're trained to just carry it they will be gentle but a lot of dogs are trained to snap their necks then carry gently.
birdman2873
...Are you just making this up?
armstronacchi
I was more going off experience with my chicken killing lab. He occasionally finds one and brings it back with a snapped neck
Ooglieguy
As an owner of a Chesapeake and several labs who are trained water fowl dogs, they are trained to not bite hard but carry softly with fowl.
DidItForScience
Carry softly then go on walks for big sticks?
birdman2873
Yeah, my disbelief stems from their claim that retrievers are trained to break necks. I waterfowl hunt a lot and I've never seen that
Yodaloid
It amazes me we can teach animals this. I've always wondered how it's taught
BlueKarat
This took an unexpected twist. Thought you were gonna say why can't we teach people this...
10tacles
With peanut butter and closed curtains.
yaboyrob
It's as simple as taking the dummy away from them right away during training. Teaches them not to play with/chew it
NeverSeenAMovie
I've always owned German Shepards and the best way to teach them that is to play rough with them as puppies and they'll learn.
TigerViking
My Chesapeake would retrieve ping pong balls without damaging them as a puppy. No training by me. Retrievers are awesome
knuckledraggr
We use a dummy thats head was a hard ball attached by rope. If dog bite hard and run hard, gets hit by ball in face. If gentle, not whacked
ashunjew
Most water dogs are born with the soft bite too...didn't have to train my dog with that. She's a good girl.
creepwood
also, water dogs have blunt teeth
Arconyte
Water dogs? Seals?
catsaregroundowls
Some people use balloons and commands to start.
catsaregroundowls
The hardest part is teaching your dog how to blow them up.