If relationships were just like video games

Jan 8, 2018 1:06 AM

I misinterpreted the walkthrough and used a spell to transform her into a burrito. Do I win?

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

I seem to be stuck at the "add player two" screen

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

She made the wrong head big I guess.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Motherlode ... Wait, maybe not.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I’d just settle for a respec...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

i have a problem with the fast travel one bc most games have it where in game time goes by and is usually longer than if you went yourself

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Where are the mods?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Oh er, cool man

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Save states would be amazing..exams, presentations, weekends, fucking some d-bag UP..just quickload if necessary

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

What’s with Americans and big asses all the time?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

She does not seem all that displeased to be given a huge butt

8 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 1

Would you?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Now what one would you choose?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

BAAAAAAADONK-A-DONKK!!!

8 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 4

Dorkly is the king of overly long, unoriginal, unfunny comics.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Someone should make me a Burrito.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

DORKLY :P

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Oh god I hope I didn't have big head mode activated at the end of high school...

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Don't worry. That's what college is for

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Jesus this is awful. And not the slightest bit of originality

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

It's cool I beat him on the SATs

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

How about the other way around? He leaves much to be desired being generic schmoe that forgets everything.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Cringe.

8 years ago | Likes 46 Dislikes 14

Really? it's just a comic. Would it be less cringey if it was from a girl's perspective?

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 7

no

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 4

Yeah agreed, these aren't funny.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 3

*you cannot travel when enemies are nearby...*

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Can I make 2 burritos on the make lunch quest?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yes, but it still unequips both at the end of the mission, in my experience.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Drop the item, finish the quest, then go back and grab the item.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

wrong head

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If they were, then I wouldn't be able to afford the latest system.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Exactly when do you equip fast travel in games?

8 years ago | Likes 146 Dislikes 4

Fast travel or teleportation can be achieved by drinking a large amount of alcoholic beverages. Your results may vary, though

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

When you do it for love

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

Bunny Hood -Majoras Mask

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

In Tomba 2! you had different colors of pants that were sequentially a faster running speed. Also the turbo fruit made you faster than was

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

comfortable to control. You also had to go into the Equipment and item screen to access the bells that teleported you around the world.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Pokemon you have to equip the bike (til you get flying anyway and never really walk anymore)

8 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 6

I always thought fast travel was the equivalent of teleportation. It's kinda like saying "teleportation equipped"

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Exactly my point! :)

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Before the bike, you hold B to use the running shoes, too. But Bruiser's got a point that it wouldn't be called "fast travel."

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Back in my day we didnt even HAVE running shoes. Not until 3rd gen!!

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Boi, Pokemon Red was the 1st game I owned that I didn't share with my older brother. I know the struggle. And I have Yellow on my 3DS now.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

No, you don't. And the bike isn't Fast Travel.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Do you move faster whilst traveling on said bike? If so, then is "fast travel".

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

yes you do. yes it is

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Yes you do, but no it isn’t. Fast travel refers to teleportation to specific points on a map. The biks just lets you move faster.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

No, you don't have an equipment slot that you fill with the bike. You can use it anytime without equipping. You can also assign it to a...

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

...shortcut key but that is not the same thing. Also, "Fast Travel" is a gaming term that refers to skipping the actual trip and simply...

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I would just replay the bj quest ad nauseum

8 years ago | Likes 97 Dislikes 11

If she pinches the web of her thumb you can actually avoid the nausea.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

There isn't just one replayable quest. You have to unlock it by completing various Life Goal quests, and it has to be redeemed immediately.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The perfect girlfriend ?1

8 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Or find the glitch to mine gold like crazy. Like save game right before betting everything in Vegas.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Sorry, you only get one per girlfriend, if you're lucky. There are rumors of some out there that let you repeat it endlessly, but I never

8 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 6

found one so I doubt they exist.

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 4

Ha

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

what you need is an inability to get off to a bj. For me, girls figure out it puts me into overdrive. Then we both get what we want lol

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Listen, I've gotten a bj maybe like three times in my entire life. Almost 24 years old and eight sexually active girlfriends later, not one

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

orgasm. Not even from sex, protected or otherwise. Premature ejaculation ain't an issue, when ejaculation isn't even happening in the first

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

place

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I've gotten a guy off by bj maybe twice in my entire life and keep telling them I have no desire to learn better. I know the stupid game 1/

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I won't get what I want if my mouth does too good a job.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

some of us guys just don't get off for a bj. Besides, I enjoy going down. And the number of girls that just pass out after their O is high.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

lol how to undrastrnd feml

8 years ago | Likes 368 Dislikes 30

Buying GF

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

8 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

Lmao, okay, thanks for the laugh...hahahaha +1

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Ask see picture vegene

8 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

Are you ok?

8 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 2

Do you smell toast?

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

CALL A BONDULANCE!!

8 years ago | Likes 121 Dislikes 1

Bond Name's the James

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bames Nond is having a stronk~

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

well that was quick

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Give them wine, chicken nuggets/fries, some stupid crime drama show, and dont fart around them.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 3

you sound like quite the charmer

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Dont lie, like 90% of people would love to get that all right now. The other 10% already have it.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Did you have a sesure?

8 years ago | Likes 103 Dislikes 4

*C-jah

8 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 1

K-JAH WEST https://youtu.be/1mR11riZnAE

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yes, horrible webcomics are bad for your neurological health.

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 24

So is being retarded which, if I understand, you got covered already

8 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 4

Good job adding "if" to that sentence, 'coz understanding isn't your forte. (It means you're not good at it.)

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 31

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

You mean blanks?

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 6

Where can i find the guide?

8 years ago | Likes 912 Dislikes 4

You don’t

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Git Gud

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I get the feeling she wrote the guide.

8 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

You didn't answer him, where can I get this guide!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

From her, duh. :P

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Better this than someone who doesn't know!

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

4chan

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

That’ll definitely get you.....somewhere...... not laid, but somewhere certainly.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

getting laid on prison cots.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

v

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Tradition!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

its all just common sense shit man

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You don't need to guide, just use the Konami Code: up up, down down, left right, left right, (B) (A).

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

won't help, it's randomly generated each session

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Make me a burrito and I’ll tell you

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Learn how to make doughnuts and buy a crockpot

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Where can I find the girlfriend?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Forget about it... Even if you find a guide, it's not written in any comprehensible language for us anyway

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Indeed, i always fail to decode mix massages.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I think you need a different strategy than he's got, D00Mwarrior

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Where can i find the girlfriend?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Same

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Grinding or microtransactions/DLC

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We're not that challenging. Just listen, tell us we're pretty, and buy us things to make us feel special ... like chocolate.

8 years ago | Likes 245 Dislikes 13

That works three weeks out of four. What do you do during hell week?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

K

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You're pretty chocolate...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"Feed me tacos and tell me I'm beautiful." - women

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Can confirm. Buy the wife ice cream, tasty food (she's a cheap date and is fine with TV dinnners) and compliment her constantly. Sex helps.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yes, it is that simple and it's sort of like taking care of yourself twice. Unless you choose poorly, I guess.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

No. Not true. Not with a woman currently but the ones iv been with even agrred that even women dont understand women. dont try, do ur best

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Did that, got in the friend zone. Twice.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*hands over a piece of paper with "pretty" written on it and says "you're chocolate"*

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

My girlfriend would beg to differ. Fuck buying things, doesn't believe me when I say she's beautiful, but I listen. Shit be challenging.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

What about icecream and chocolates

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's only on easy mode. No one mentions saving up enough for the wedding or the ring.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

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[deleted]

8 years ago (deleted Jan 15, 2018 11:55 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Jesus. He could have just said he wasn't interested in marriage beforehand and saved you the trouble of losing on Very Hard Mode.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Does this work for women, too?

8 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Fell in love with my wife partly because she'd bring the special cans of mountain dew when she came over

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How so? We're the spiked with Vicodin or something?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Were* heckin' autocorrect

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ok that gets me to the frienddzone, how does one get into the pants level from there

8 years ago | Likes 176 Dislikes 16

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just don’t be weird

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

If it did then your intentions were unclear or you're not her type. Getting a particular woman can be hard, but that doesn't mean all are

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

be attractive enough for their league?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Be interesting and suave as fuck. I assume. I'm neither soooo

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Good news, suave is creepy or intimidating, sweet and funny and loving despite or for weird habits is where it's at. You can do it mate!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

suave is creepy only if you're ugly and/or awkward

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Customize your face to not look like a preset. Also doesn't hurt to do money cheat.

8 years ago | Likes 194 Dislikes 2

^ sounds like love at first sight.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So much truth in these 3 comments.

8 years ago | Likes 52 Dislikes 1

Or be funny and interesting to talk to

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

You're setting the bar pretty fucking high there buddy.

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

You get into the friendzone treating her like a friend. Most people in the friendzone don't make their intentions clear from the start.

8 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 2

v

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Friend zone is not a dead end. Make your intentions clearer and don't beat around the bush if you want to beat the bush.

8 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

and if she turns you down if you do get to the point, don't be an ass about it - it'll lower your reputation among members of girl faction.

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

How do I not do that? I want them to be comfortable around me before I ask them out, and want them to know I'm not a creep.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Tbh I practiced on strangers before I ever tried on a girl I like. I used to give out a compliment every day, w/o any ulterior motives.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0