RainbowDragon
222030
4429
231
Oct 3, 2017 9:11 AM
RainbowDragon
222030
4429
231
ZippyYeti
Steamed hams are ALWAYS at the front of MY mind! Steamed hams...get some today!!
calenturian
#14 looks like someone shaved a kitten with the tiniest razor.
Cereaza
#10 this photo explains everything.
billbetoasty
That's a mufuckin tree star not a leaf and you know it
mistermixelpix
Re: Homer, there was a full episode about how insanely charmed his life has been (Grimes). That's never been overlooked.
MadHakon
I already dislike Trump enough. Does his mother really have to look like some modern day Cruella de Vil?
DoorToDoorHentaiSaleswoman
That story about the dragon travelling with the gold coin if being written into my current D&D campaign. It's too good
BeckyGaladriel
...I would totally rent the fish...
NightfallEverdark
You had me at otter no one trusts.
TheAngryMarineBiologist
#2 What moron trusts otters?
LtGenObvious
Shouldn't #5 have blue eyes?
AgentTempest
No, he's behind Blue Eyes
ilikecatsbutcatsdontlikeme
I. Am. Weasel. I.r.Babboonnn
QueenofThorns
#7 I have that except mine is green!
ChairDeity
Tbf, Homer hates his job, abuses his son, is known to violent outbursts and is an alcoholic, but sure yeah his life is great.
AttractedToShinyThings
When I saw that giant "fatberg" my first thought was 'they need a flamethrower, and I want to see the video'.
pica0050
Saad man looks like Spenny
lilcritter
Lisa needs braces
Talligan
#1 I refuse to share my food with my wife. I worship the ground she walks on, but if she wanted that meal then she needed to order that meal
derekjohn
Talligan doesn't share food.
Talligan
You are correct good sir.
Baldar
#41 chihuahuas are frickin gross
TheRealBobsonDugnutt
That farmer obviously has no idea how to use proper scales. Like bananas.
Dispari
#4 Which came first?
PmMeGifsForSauce
It probably predates that.
RainbowDragon
No idea!
onefaller
#3 - 1 cubic fluffle.
GlowstickJedi
Not really, as the height isn't the same as the width/length
onefaller
maaan, I want it to be.
GlowstickJedi
More buns!
poorwhitetrash
#1 i interrupt my wife when she orders because she does this to me all the time. We both know she doesn't want that kale salad.
CthulhuCups
Am a wife. I DO want the kale salad, I just also want a steak the size of my head. You just gotta accept your order is going to be weird.
aselleus
cookiepussforever
Does anyone know if there is a poster of this?
yuugian
STEAMED HAMS
squirrelfartsy
AURORA BOREALIS
yuugian
SQUIRREL FARTSY
Lucidalabbra
My husband and I usually split our meals, I get healthy, he gets not healthy and then we share. It’s a win win!
DanFranzen
How is that a win for your husband?
Lucidalabbra
Oh, because neither of us really wants to only eat salad or only eat bad food. This way we feel like we are fairly healthy.
DanFranzen
Well, insert the "I Guess" image here.... ;)
Lucidalabbra
Lol moral of the story is we try and balance each other out. I order pizza and fried foods plenty too if it makes you feel any better.
DanFranzen
Hey, whatever works for you, right?
WellWellWellLookWhoItIs
#39 is a bad sign. Never intentionally embarrass your partner.
alisongrace5656
You speak the truth.
thiscommentwillselfdestruct
Yeah that seems fucked up
broutefoin
Or you know, it's funny and lighthearted? Not like they were made to admit what they get off to in bed or what they shit themselves.
Enoan
An aquatic creature charging 3.50? God damn Nessie
[deleted]
[deleted]
debunker
You think 3.50 Euros a night for a goldfish is cheap?
Dullfifqariano
...shit, i just noticed it says "Euros" and i dont know about this currency so i think i was wrong, i'll just delete my comment
RedBlueGreenRedBlueGreen
I did that plate swapping thing with my gf one time, and although it was a pretty benign, sweet moment, it felt like a massive defeat.
FaultyStarsNoConstellations
Ive swapped with my bf multiple times when I like his dish as well but he preferes mine, or we end up sharing Half and half
TheMiseryOfOthersMakesMeHappy
Ah the benefits of being single, I'll never have to feel that kind of defeat.....God I'm lonely.
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
If it makes you feel any better, I'm almost positive this is a rare quality in romantic relationships, or it's at least reciprocated...Oops
scottjaeger
those are two opposite sentiments in the same sentence
devcoffee
My partner and I usually do splitsies (split two entrees) so we both get to try more food and neither gets a bad order.
PmMeGifsForSauce
Oh I'd do anything for love... but I won't do that!
djknetic
Yeah, stop ordering meatloaf
gewalt
my wife does that shit to me. I usually tell her no, learn to order properly, I dont wanna eat her damn plate of mostly vegetables either.
demoncandy
You mean wouldn't rather eat her delicious salad with fat free dressing instead of that burger you ordered?
justyourfriendlyneighborhoodimgurian
I took the plate swapping as him just swapping without her asking. As in she tried some of his, liked it better, and he just swapped it.
LearnSomething
I don't get why people think this is sweet, it sounds like you're dating a toddler.
RedBlueGreenRedBlueGreen
It's cool, she went down for her nap as soon as we got home.
MeganMeow
I'd never ask my fella to swap foods, if I ordered something crap its my own damn fault. He shouldn't have to suffer haha
uvolu
I'd love if my gf would share food with me, but she only eats like 3 things :(
demoncandy
My mom in law is allergic to almost everything but bread, and dad in law has celiac. They never eat together.
[deleted]
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RedBlueGreenRedBlueGreen
Because everyone knows that a relationship is a non-stop series of mental and emotional battles. Or I was just attempting to be humorous.
ITalkAboutGoats
As someone who's had enough ball and chain "jokes" thrown at them it ain't funny, and people on this site take it as another strike against
ITalkAboutGoats
Women. It's disheartening.
RedBlueGreenRedBlueGreen
But my comment was completely harmless. Stop projecting your miserableness on me.
ivegotaname
Sometimes it's nice to know that even in a relationship you can still maintain a certain level of acceptable selfishness.
TheLetterKay
Most resturaunts want to know if you aren't happy with the food. Just be kind and say you didn't like it and they will bring you something
RedBlueGreenRedBlueGreen
Oh man. Please don't ever do that. Aggravating.
rosely
If there's something wrong with your food, sure send it back. But don't be that person that orders the mushroom ravioli them sends it 1/2
rosely
back because they don't like mushrooms. 2/2
TheLetterKay
else.
ITalkAboutGoats
Meh, doing nice things for your partner should never feel like defeat. Why be with someone who makes you feel that way?
RedBlueGreenRedBlueGreen
I think my tone is being misconstrued.
ITalkAboutGoats
You did something nice for your gf, and you felt awful for it. No misconstruing there.
RedBlueGreenRedBlueGreen
What the hell are you talking about? Who said I felt awful? I was talking about an incredibly minor moment in my relationship humorously.
ITalkAboutGoats
You said it felt like a "massive defeat" how is that anything but what I described?
SpecialAgentSkully
I didn't understand you were being humorous either until I read through your replies here. Maybe use /h for humor or /s for sarcasm? Idk 1/2
SpecialAgentSkully
It can be really difficult to perceive tone through the internet. No offense meant. :)
jyhwkntx
what=4, sometimes=9, never=5. i did good?
mistafancypants
All bout a ? or . at the end
EmilysMan
But =\= 5
ContainedShrim
For some people, you ruined it, but for some people, you made it. Code beige
jyhwkntx
just like sex!
Peconwife
The true MVP of this dump right here.
nclu
Expect: [what,sometimes,never].map(length) == [4,9,5]
jyhwkntx
Aldoosk
It wasn't a question I did not see any question mark it was an explanation
Kensidian
You didn’t do good, but you did well! :D
iMcFly
You did. I did not, however, for I am evidently an idiot.
TojS
You are evidently Mcfly
derekjohn
Clearly so, since you are happy to broadcast the fact.
SizeOfaChaffinch
As am I, but still clever enough to skip the rest of the dump to find out I was not the only one... *hive five*
iMcFly
*high five*
jyhwkntx
https://giphy.com/gifs/mcfly-qLogsdN71M9mo
iMcFly
Hey look - it's the Goodyear blimp!
everynamethatiwantistakensoitookthis
Thought it was beer. Like you spell it beer but when you are drunk you spell it beeeeeeer , but never beeer because then you look illiterate
YouNeedtoChill
I thought what=4, whaaaaaat=9, but you would never type whaat. I mean, look at it. It's just weird.
SlightlyStoopidBear
This guy gets it. My thoughts exactly.
SneakEFoxxe
I have no idea what is happening right now
jyhwkntx
here’s 1 of my favorites then
v
SneakEFoxxe
I am no less confused than I was previously
lettersandnumbers808
Thank you for that, I hoped someone had the answer
jyhwkntx
PmMeGifsForSauce
I want to see a bit where someone goes into the store and says, "what's the answer" they say "4." Then they do the whole who's on first bit.
smeagolpromisedsmeagollied
But what's on second?
PmMeGifsForSauce
four!
VeganFeministFlatEarther
I absolutely hate that picture, every time it's reposted. The grammar is so broken that you can't actually claim it's making 3 statements.
VeganFeministFlatEarther
Which is extra frustrating because if they'd just written it with proper grammar it would work better :
VeganFeministFlatEarther
What has four letters, sometimes has 9, and never has 5 letters
OneArmedDuckFucker
that last "letters" sounds forced to me, but I'm not a native english speaker.
VeganFeministFlatEarther
Yeah I meant to leave that out. I debated between only saying letters once, and all 3 times, and forgot to delete the third one
jyhwkntx
Mr3inches
#1 Thats more awesome for one person than for the other.
strawberrycocoa
Just reminds me of my ex who kept blowing off date nights because she was "tired", or when we did get together just wanted to lay in bed.
pfsar
I've swapped with friends when what they ordered hasn't quite matched their expectations visually. I'd swap for my partner in a heartbeat.
riicochet
You lot have to shit on a nice gesture, couldn't it be he doesn't mind what she ordered? I've done this before with my missus
LustrousShadow
I think it mostly has to do with the intention being conveyed poorly, really..
kspice
w/ food I'm adventurous, not picky. wife is opposite. if she picks something 'adventurous' (to her) I order something she'd like to trade
MyHumanForm
This is why I like eating with people with similar tastes. We end up ordering extra and sharing food. Least favorite gets a makeover at home
Nalianna
I ordered thai food recently, and the RESTAURANT i was in, did this for me. Allowed me to try it before bringing my GF's food.
Nalianna
If it was too spicy for me, they would make me another dish and she would eat what i ordered. I couldn't believe it. p.s. It was perfect.
sinskittles
My bf almost always orders something that is better than mine, so these days I have him pick for me after I've chosen 2 or 3!
Mr3inches
That's making it work!
AbsoIomb
Nobody said it doesn't go both ways. When he orders something he doesn't like, she might swap?
AdmJota
I'm sure that's how it is for the couple, but do you really think that's what the twitter poster was thinking about?
Strasburg6592
Yeah that's my wife right there. Make sure you know what kind of woman you're marrying, that's all.
karlywithak
While I mostly agree, my boyfriend would not care one way or another. He's not a picky eater and mostly doesn't care.
Mr3inches
Thats cool.
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
Yeah that's how it is with my fiance. She's picky, I'm not, so I'll still be happy with whatever garbage she ordered. She sucks at ordering.
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
Although mostly we just end up eating everything family style because we both want to try all the things.
thunder2132
My wife does this thing where she can't decide between two things, so she says I should order one and she'll order the other and we'll /
thunder2132
/ just split them. But that only works if I want both things too. Usually I just want one of the two. I finally have led her to the conclu-
thunder2132
-sion that we'll each get one of the things, try a bite of each other's, and know what we want the next time we go there.
thunder2132
Except for Greengos in St. Thomas. We practically ordered the whole menu and had leftovers for days.
SpecialAgentSkully
Me and my guy do the same thing! Usually at new restaurants. If it's a place we know what our favorite things are, we just order our usual.
benpoon
I made a poor decision and now regret it. Let me have yours. Sure, I don't have any desire to eat what I like. True love?
Mr3inches
I made a poor decision as well. I call it my ex wife.
AdmJota
Yeah, it sounds like she basically wants the kind of marriage where she always gets whatever she wants.
IamJustinSane
Sooooo.... She’s a woman?
AdmJota
You two sound like you might be made for each other.
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
No. Like you, she's simply an asshole. One who wants to be spoiled by her future husband without reciprocation. 1-sided marriage. That's it.
broutefoin
It's a joke, not a dick, don't need to take it so hard.
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
Found a "man"
Trfhfg
Men don't like generalization about themselves but sure do like to generalize women
CrispRatt
Or.. and hear me out on this.. maybe the husband just loves his wife and didn't mind trading?
cnphilli
my experience is that it does not go both ways.
AdmJota
I'm not criticizing the couple -- they're probably healthy and well-adjusted. I'm just criticizing the twitter poster for their desire 1/2
AdmJota
to emulate this particular isolated, single-sided incident. 2/2
CrispRatt
That's fair. Regardless, that's still presumptuous about the twitter poster. She could mean well also. It just seems that often things (1/2)
indigogogogo
My husband takes food off my plate all the time, I don't mind at all. I promised to love him until I die, 1/2
indigogogogo
Giving him some of my food is nothing compared to that. and he feels the same way 2/2
CrispRatt
You're nailing the married thing for sure. Sometimes people on the internet are so bitter about bad marriage tropes that it ruins good stuff
indigogogogo
I married my best friend, so we actually like each other. That has a lot to do with it. We said I do for the love, not the big party after.