stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
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MV Edit: if you relate to #3, I’m your new mom now.
PathologicalLier
#1 ....well... I feel called out
OverThunkTheRadiation
ToCrushYourEnemiesSeeThemDrivenBeforeYouToHearTheLamentation
doctorbocker
#20 I start a new job on Tuesday. We operate out of a small workshed on the grounds of a large park. All the directions I received were a Google Earth map with a "workshop" text box. Immediate fight-or-flight reflex.
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
You’re gunna be great!! Maybe have a friend take a test drive with you before Tuesday? A little familiarity before your first day might help ease the anxiety
Asatani
I don't wanna work, I wanna bang myheadagainstthewall all day.
Solarstephy
#6 just got out of a therapy session working on not being the family caretaker and conflict mediator. How are you?
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
High anxiety adult who constantly (over)apologizes because she’s learned that diffusion is what keeps everyone safe & keeping everyone safe has been her sole purpose in life.
iwaspromisedjetpackz
Oof #3 hitting closer to home 😬
DissapointedJesus
Same for me. 💀💀
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
I grew up in that kind of house, too. I’m so sorry you went through that, & I’m here for you
machmach
SickSadWhirled
#26 yes. please send help, but also don’t.
MyHouseOnMars
Oof, same.
CityYeti
Too late. Weird hippies you've never met are on their way to hug you while humming
nodyourhead
fartharder
#37 I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but sometimes that's what it takes to shake off the patriarchy you were raised under
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
Nothing bad about it. I’m all for whatever helps someone heal
fartharder
I mean, it's a solid joke, don't get me wrong
broadwaynut9
Yeah, my thought to that one was, ‘Good thing they did it since their upbringing clearly didn’t allow them that opportunity. Don’t make fun, lady.’
Sarahsmomhasgotitgoingon
TheOnePristineMonk
#8 his alligator skit is one of my favorite
Qualtagh
#11 Actually, having a professional outside of your family/friends to talk to about life is a longstanding, cross-cultural practice. 1/2
Wasnbo
That is correct, those outside perspectives can be invaluable to helping someone understand their situations. It's part of why folks (1/3)
Wasnbo
readily confess things or ask for advice from strangers on the Internet. That said, it's just generally harder to live happily (2/3)
Wasnbo
than ever before, to the point where some therapists are saying, "yeah, I got nothing, there aren't enough coping mechanisms for this shit."
Qualtagh
It just used to be done mostly by religious leaders. That system has huge flaws, but yeah, it might just be a standard human need. 2/2
themobileappisbroken
#12 nobody should be alone with my thoughts.
Jinxies
I love being alone with my thoughts! We hate all the same things, especially my self!
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
I’m always here to listen if anyone doesn’t want to be alone with theirs.
Faloopsinarb
#7 The first time I heard Super Charger Heaven by White Zombie I listened to it on repeat for six hours straight. Helped that I was on a car trip with nothing better to do, but still.
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
I drive my spouse nuts with that particular habit….
yummilicious
These are all so relatable right now. I should make another appointment with my therapist.
melon94
Sorry but #3 just makes me angry
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
It made me really sad. I grew up in a fucked up household like that
vinny8boberano
#30 if you like, or are interested, in anime; might I recommend Restaurant to Another World?
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
Not really an anime person but I’m always down to try new things! Thanks for the suggestion :)
vinny8boberano
It's chill, and great for appreciating food!
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
I avoid it mostly because a lot of the time the actual animation makes me motion sick. Getting older is a joy!
vinny8boberano
Oh! My apologies. Well...you can watch the entirety of "Bob Ross: Joy of Painting" on YouTube for free?
namelessfish
Lol mood
brandonblk
seriously, what even is a coping mechanism
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
Breathing techniques. Recognizing harmful patterns of thought & trying to stop/change them before they spiral. Exercise. Hobbies. Spending time outside. Journaling. Self care, even if it’s something very simple. Replacing self-harming behaviors with something harmless that fits the same niche (i do my nails when I feel that particular urge: it gives me something detail-oriented to focus on & keeps my hands busy). Meditating. Creating a safe, comfortable space that you can retreat to when needed
aslum
#11 Yeah, this is what big money doesn't want you to know, they're crushing us to the point where we don't have the spoons to fight back.
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
They’ve got us fighting culture wars when we should be fighting class wars
Sarpedan
#37 so what you're saying is, we should dose the GoP with 'shrooms?
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
CityYeti
Couldn't hurt
RomanSnow
#3 Literally had that talk in high school. Parents found out i was self harming and told me "you need to understand how it reflects on us".
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
I grew up in a house like that, too. I’m so sorry you went through that. Since your mom didn’t say it, I will: your feelings are valid. Your pain is valid. And you are worthy of the help & support it takes to get through those painful feelings & scary thoughts. You are worthy of being loved & cared for.
SaganIsMyLordAndSavior
#7 this is that song for me right now: https://youtu.be/or3aeINvJEg Good Morning Sunshine by Narcissist cookbook... one step at a time my friends, build that castle!
DeltaLaw
Good listen! Here is mine: https://g.co/kgs/c4UeUu this dude is hugely talented, his song Hi Ren is a work of art about mental health and self acceptance but the linked song is a play on Animal Farm and other similar works like Clockwork Orange
RandAIFlagg
Buzzdog1
It's from elementary school report cards. There were a few different things the teacher could write down for you about your behavior in class and one was "a pleasure to have in class". Another was something like "Conscientious and diligent worker" or something like that. Source: am first born son who was "a pleasure to have in class" every year.
Solarstephy
For myself, I was a pleasure in class because I learned at home that people pleasing and caretaking other people’s emotions is how I would get very basic acceptance and love. I was saddled with the responsibility of being a shining example for my siblings (even tho I myself was a child) AND making sure my parents were happy (my mom was very explicit about what we were to do and not do to keep from upsetting my dad and it was our job to manage her anxiety about his emotions)
Solarstephy
My mom acted that way because she too was the oldest daughter from a dysfunctional household and was expected to take care of everyone else’s emotions. I’m working on breaking that cycle for my own daughters because no child should ever have to be responsible for an adult’s lack of emotional regulation.
MimaMaxima
You were a pleasure because you pleased everyone, this is how you got attention and praise. As the eldest you were expected to help so you become the helper. And you keep on giving and giving parts of yourself until there is nothing left, but ultimately it is never enough. When you have no more to give, you are a disapointment and they all "don't know what happened to you"
circlebreaker
Might be the trope about first-borns being saddled with more responsibility + expectations than middle/youngest kids and developing complexes about it. First-born daughters specifically, I'm not sure, maybe the thing where many get saddled with childcare responsibilities as the first non-parent adult-ish family member?
PrincessWendyB
As a first born daughter it was ASSUMED I'd care for my siblings growing up & my parents as they aged. So unfair.
Wasnbo
I'm so sorry for you. I saw a mom with 5 (fucking really?!) children, and the eldest was clearly ALSO acting as a parent to her siblings.
PrincessWendyB
Oldest of 5 here. It left its mark for sure.
doctorId
#8 That's what we in the therapy biz call an ingrained emotional pattern
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
rudejohn
#6 "First born daughters who got pleasure to have in class" can compare struggle notes with me - first born son who scored low in "plays well with others."
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
I played too well with others because I was constantly trying to keep the peace, trying to keep everything perfect. I’m a high anxiety adult who still overapologizes & prioritizes everyone else above myself- how’d you turn out?
rudejohn
I had some social adjustment problems and didn't understand when kids were being friendly or making fun of me. I had a lot of trouble all through elementary and middle school, but things got better in high school and college. Now a days I just have pretty bad "imposter syndrome" - at work, people thinking I'm competent, and socially trying to suss out whether people who invite me to things REALLY want me there.
TheFakeCraigFerguson
If my real parents aren't gonna thwart me with 3, why are you?!
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
Quite the contrary: I’m offering to be the supportive kind of parent I wish I’d had
TheFakeCraigFerguson
I'm sorry your parents sucked as well. We deserve better than we got.
randomguy365
#20 this is me so hard. I will actively avoid going to my local large city downtown unless I KNOW there will be easily accessible parking.
porcinechoirmaster
This isn't why I started riding a motorcycle, but boy howdy is it a perk.
theplantladyisabenevolentruler
This is why i love public transit so hard. Parking situations can absolutely ruin my day/week and I never want to deal with that again
RottenMuffin
I will straight up walk unhinged lengths to avoid having to deal with parking
dedpan
This is a hangup for me, too. I grew up in the country and have no problems driving anywhere there, but if I gotta find and/or pay for parking, or navigate public transportation, I feel like I've lost control of the situation.
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
I’m the opposite! Public transportation? Hell to the fuck yeah! I can help you with all the planes, trains, & tube stations. But driving places? Big yikes all panic no vroom vroom cuz crying.
Echo6256
Anytime my friends want to go downtown I either ask them to pick me up, or I usually take a Lyft. I hate trying to park.
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
Yep- I’m the “we can take my car or I’ll pay for gas if [someone else] drives” kindof friend
noxdracoria
I really like making use of google maps and street view to prep before going into town : I look up the location and scrutinize the parking situations and check the street view so I know what it will look like ahead of time. If the parking/navigating is going to be terrible I might chose to take public transit instead 9if a bus goes near where I need it) even though my anxiety will be through the roof I at least won't have to deal with driving and parking.
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
I love exploring new places but I hate anything having to do with driving to new places. Getting lost, parking, worrying about a nonexistent car problem. Just one of those things that stresses me tf out
HelpfulCorn
I don't mind the driving with Google maps but yeah the parking gives me anxiety
RossReedstrom
I dream of a world with copious public transportation, where you can visit new places by merely buying a ticket and riding a bus or train, directly to the destination, which is enjoyably walkable. I'm told this dream exists, in parts of Europe.
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
Went to London on my honeymoon last month. The Tube is an amazing thing!
icouldntthinkofabetterusername2
#37 Yes, but the mind blowing part is “basic empathy and open mindedness” *towards yourself*.
Nuttsy
...best I can do is a random box of candy three days in a row.
RichterCa
Sometimes it's basic empathy for others. Like with Libertarians try shrooms, for example.
icouldntthinkofabetterusername2
disposablewords
Why should I be empathetic and openminded to myself? I'm a weird dork.
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
That’s my favorite kind of person, truly
bongles
Try shrooms and maybe you'll find out
Guluzinyu
Then you should especially be empathetic and open- minded to yourself. Everyone has inherent worth, but I admit I have a bias in favor of weird dorks (being one myself).
FeChefImgur
so is this a societal thing ?
Rahava
Yes. Our society doesn't like teaching men emotional skills. Women on the other hand are allowed to feel emotions in a public way which in turns gives them the chance to learn how to handle difficult emotions. Men are taught the only two emotions they're allowed to feel are anger and lust. Thankfully we are getting better but it will take several generations before this problem goes away.
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
Women are also taught that it’s acceptable to be called “overemotional,” “crazy,” “irrational,” & “incapable” because of said emotions we’re psuedo-allowed to have. Loddy doddy errybody needs to learn not only how to have emotions, but how to handle emotions in a healthy way. Conscious discipline & CBT were game-changers for me
Spooner1
Could I dm you about CBT?
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
Sure :)
keraos
Basically as a society we suck at handling emotions in a healthy way. Different expressions of the same problem. Psychedelics can help get past a lot of those barriers, particularly if they're reinforced by trauma (spoiler alert, they are for almost everyone yaaaaaaaaaay)
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
Psilocybin was life-changing. One should do their own research before jumping into any the ing like that but for a lot of people it’s an amazing tool that takes the terror & trauma out of exploring past issues, confronting the symptoms of many mental illnesses, or addressing addiction. Just something to think about.
UhhIGuessSo
I definitely thought of the wrong kind of CBT at first lol. I was like, whatever works for you dude
stonedlikeicheckedoutmedusa
I mean…CBD is also helpful lol
RoseHarmonic
Came here to say this lmao