pavelevich
454387
12301
809
Demoocracy
Jan 31, 2017 12:38 PM
pavelevich
454387
12301
809
LunarApocalypse
Foxhack
A Mexican corporation: You have two cows. Those cows are now in the US picking crops. (Disclaimer: I'M MEXICAN, SORRY, I COULDN'T RESIST)
nocturnz
OMG VENTURE CAPITALIST DESCRIPTION LMAO
maerdetin
Repostism: you have a picture, it gets less pixels every time it's reposted.
Phocasola
German Corporation: You have two cows, you milk them.
ThatVenezuelanLostINimgur
Venezuelan Socialist Corp: Seize 2cows, sell subsidized milk, milk is bootlegged to neighboring countries. No milk in shelves. Blame the US.
ScopesMouthwashTrial
Where's North Korea? You have one cow. It's actually a dragon that won 213 Olympic Gold Medals.
dabomb23
TheRelevancyOfMyNameIsRelativelyIrrelevant
that is beautiful
jackatack
licoricekin
I now have a PHD in economics
JeRMP
An Imgur cow. You find someone else's cow and show it to everyone claiming it's your OC.
andergriff
no, you cut off a chunk of the cow, then you steal it and say that it is yours.
JayEnfield
This joke is so old, it remembers where it was when it heard WWII was over.
DoingJediShit
That joke is so terrible that it hurts to look at like your mom
JennyComments
NORTH KOREA Corp: Dear Leader has all Cows. Dear Leader tells you American Imperialists are jealous of our Cows. Dear Leader is always right
ForeverVoteless
I have one cow, I scratch her.
sciencebasedlifeform
KaneVel
I toucha da cowy.
Beefblaster
Don't talk about your wife that way
link117318
Ngl OP. This was funny. And politically correct with the exception of the UK one. Didnt get it
MisterDictionary
It's about mad cow disease. Started in Britain.
Sneckz
Those are some nice teeth
TheStigsShitPostingCousin
Is that actually your cow?
ForeverVoteless
Sadly no, a common google cow.
IntergalacticCheeseSandwich
Cows are adorable!
CantComeUpWithACreativeUsername
D'aawww!
kharmatika
That's lovely
MyTran971
Petism.
AstralBeast808
They're good cows, Bront. 13/10
ColRhys
[deleted]
[deleted]
beardydraws
Brangt*
Ashen44
*Brody
SmoothSaline
*Brobert
nitemayr
The socialism one is wrong; "you have 2 cows and are compelled to share the milk with your neighbor in return for wool from their sheep"
Deadbau5andy
In return for not being fined and going to jail. Neighbor is also forced to share
CardboardPizzas
Welsh Corporation: You have two cows. You trade them both for two very attractive-looking sheep.
Sockpuppet89
As a welshman i'll have you know... yeah that sounds right.
NintendoSWales
That was uncalled for.
WrongUn
oooh. You baaaaastard!!!
JohnnyTitelips
Fun fact: Arabs invented the condom using goat intestines. However, the British refined the idea by removing the intestines from the goat.
Solbion
TheRadbeard
Harsh. But Fair
AsAnArtTeacherIApprove
@IShagSheepOnTheFirstDate
DafyddWillz
Hey now, there's no need for that. They don't have to be sheep, we can make do with anything. My uncle farms exclusively cows and turkeys.
Nilhlis
I, like most Welsh folk, prefer the company of a sheep than any other animal
grandfalloon
https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2016-05/12/6/enhanced/webdr09/enhanced-9040-1463049901-11.jpg
posthumousmince
"Farms"
DafyddWillz
"To Farm" can be used as a verb and not just as a noun you know.
Mdp2525
I upvoted you because your ignorance of Welsh stereotype is adorable or you don't want to play into it. Either way - upvote.
DafyddWillz
I'm not ignorant of the stereotype, I'm Welsh myself so of course I know, the joke just completely went over my head! I feel like an idiot.
fewe
The joke is that welsh people fuck farm animals, specifically sheep.
YarnPeopleNylar4
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. No legs? Ground beef.
ThatVenezuelanLostINimgur
Well, hello, fellow dad joker!
YarTheBug
A cow with 3 legs is lean beef, a cow with 2 legs is @op's mom.
DailyAdorablePuppies
What did the mama cow say to the calf it's past your bed time.
myduck
What do you call a cow that just had birth? Decalfinated
Ricker270
I thought a cow with 2 legs was called your mom?
OopsJustJizzedInMyPants
These both deserve more points tbh...
myduck
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he isn't coming anyways
Azmania
I was going to say Eileen and Matt, but you made more sense.
idontcareaboutyourpcbuild
I thought it was "what do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef. Then "what do you call a cow with two legs" Your mom
BlindBelladonna
Seen this before, still funny
twofishtails
I believe it's been improved upon, new entries,etc.
[deleted]
[deleted]
twofishtails
Naw, didn't see it then. Last time I saw this was a year or so ago.....
WorkBeerRepeat
Due to potato quality I have only seen it half a time lol.
muggybonehead
Have you seen one with better pixels? Can't read the dung thing.
irongaz
Pretty sure I saw this in an email forward in 1997.
Downsvotesyndrom
Ecownomics
Hitlerdideverythingwrong
Cowmunism
LarryLevine
E-cow Comics. high af
DiscountDooku
Well, I don't think Op knows what fascism is...
Cela84
You have two cows. They are are milked on time.
SOGGHD
Or communism
ReverendAurora
Or socialism.
SOGGHD
Or communism...
JudgeMentalCat
Or capitalism.
erik4556
OP didn't make it.
u2bist
The U.S. has two cows. Trump says, "Fake news! These are the BEST giraffes EVER!"
Maharajmeister
All is correct (and funny) except the fascist state. They will not sell you back the milk. They will just shoot you.
msu14hockey
And socialism/communism are switched.
Badgerlord
Socialism is wrong as well. You don't give away the cows, one is taken from you by the government and given to your neighbor.
Deadbau5andy
Or both. Or they redistribute among everyone leaving you with an eyeball and a tooth
MrMeems
That's a special case called Naziism.
[deleted]
[deleted]
ecodude
To be fair, there have been dozens of successful fascist states that evolved into democracies.
Maharajmeister
"Special state" ? is there another type of fascism? A tamer version of fascism a kinder version with less violence or killing?
SirusKing
To be fair, not all fascist systems are anything close to the Nazi regime. Still pretty awful but still.
commanderspooge
Fixed
jiankui
If you really wanted to fix it, you'd just turn the American one upside down.
ImAShittyTransAm
Actually, IIRC NewstalkZB is an NZ or Aussie company, so all the other cows are inverted to them.
Th3Lionheart
Interim imgur communist representative newstalkzb?
SweetSweetAmerifags
@aussieausti
Aussieausti
SoraD98
ǝʇɐɯ ʎuunɟ ʎɹǝʌ
BattlefieldCounterStrike
Ahh found it
commanderspooge
oɹq 'ǝʇɐɯ ɹnoʎ ʇou ɯ,I
n080dy123
Fuckin' Aussies
PresidentMuffin
ʇunɔ ʎʞǝǝɥɔ n 8ɯ ǝɯ ʇɐ ǝɯoɔ
yourmomisminenow
9 upvotes, so 6 upvotes in imperial right?
PsuPepperoni
I think it's like a double negative because the votes are upside down too
SoraD98
Oh yeah, I forgot i'm not Australian.
massInsomnia
Yeah mate
Snickaaman
oɹq 'ǝʇɐɯ ɹnoʎ ʇou ɯ,I
TinyOctopus
Tiny Octopus offers: Kleptocracy. You have two cows. You create laws so that other people have to give you their cows. You steal the rest.
BenjaminPannell
DeviantArt Capitalism: You have two cows. People pay to watch one have sex with the other.
SirSloth
Fixed that for you:
Etlatalis
Implying that isn't worth all that sweet sweet milk
dontsayretarded0itsgay
I thought the author was a little biased too
BarnacleBillTheBayler
Yes. This.
DukeDardar
Yeah, but you could say that about every one of these.
ChimneyImps
https://i.redd.it/ebrzfvairrzx.jpg
BestOfMenMustDie
bottom text
sciencebasedlifeform
genius
kmikl
MemeCOWnomy... did no one else see that?
ryry1237
This could have been a haiku
ashmenon
This made me realise that the last time I saw this cow economy joke, memes didn't exist.
BonesMagoo
How is this not top comment?
LoveMakinDinosaur
also in memeconomy: OP never receives the credit/recognition he deserves.
Fleecemaster
I guess everyone likes the cow scratching one too much?
ZerixTheArcticFox
Ah yes here's he missing piece
Hybris51129
Best comment of the day.
StreaksOnTheChinaNeverMatteredBefore
Efreeti
UK/Scottish slang, jobbie means a turd
enzio64
What about this brought this up?
tehaoer
I have no idea but I always upvote Charlie and the Gang.
karenscream
Haha just what I was thinking
crumbhustler
Russia
tehaoer
I have no idea but I always upvote Charlie and the Gang.
MiIdIyAdequate
Charlie and the Gang.
KaneVel
Great band name.
ICanConfirmThis
China
davecoulierssuperfullhousefanclub
Said Donald
ICanConfirmThis
No he said something along the lines of "Choina"
DoingJediShit
BlockigifFluffles
Valve Corporation: You have two cows. The third cow is frequently confirmed but is still MIA.
KharnApproves
Missing German corporation: You genetically engineer the cows to triple reproduction and milk rates, while decreasing inefficiencies.
MrMeems
A Japanese Corporation: You genetically engineer the cows to be 1/5th the size while having twice the milk output.
MrMeems
Then make outrageous branding for them and market them worldwide.
SwarmLord
Russian one: You have 2 cows. You take 1 and mount a rocket launcher on her back, while pretending that the 2nd is the best in the world.
zagibu
Real Russian one: You have 2 cows. You sell both to buy vodka. You have 2 vodka.
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
German corporation: You engineer the cows to trick a sensor into thinking they don't release methane.
KharnApproves
Haha well played.
Originalname17
I know it's satire, but TRUE communism is where everyone has 2 cows.
cunninlinguist
probably only one, but yes :)
Etlatalis
True communism would be everyone owns the 99 cows equally and get equal amounts milk, even if it isn't enough. Everyone suffers equally.
msu14hockey
True communism would be you have six cows. Your son died last year and your neighbour just had twins, so you give him one of your cows.
VetVed
According to need =/= equal amounts of milk
Etlatalis
Even worse, govies take the left over after dictating your lifestyle and dictate their own more prosperous lifestyle.
98BonersOnTheMoon
Communism doesn't have property rights, so the infographic is more true.
GapingAnalCavity
Communism has private property but the means of production are owned by the workers.
98BonersOnTheMoon
No it doesn't. It is a pretty big tenant of communism. You have personal belongings but you would not own those cows.
GapingAnalCavity
Yes you would if the cows were your own personal property. You would own them in aggregate if they were part of a larger production facility
98BonersOnTheMoon
The cows are a means of production and would not be owned, as well as the farm land to keep them on.
JudgeMentalCat
Well depends if you're talking in theory or in practice
Originalname17
Theory. True but theoretical communism doesn't sound all too bad honestly.
JudgeMentalCat
Theoretical communism sounds amazing. The communism that's been practiced historically kinda sucks
JudgeMentalCat
But so has every other economic system that's ever been implemented
alsoAzrael
Tbf, I'm pretty sure that true communism has never existed as a state government, because it's basically impossible to implement.
JudgeMentalCat
Yeah. Same thing with capitalism- the theory of the free market doesn't work with hymans
SilasRedd21
True communism by definition doesn't have a state.
Cheomesh
Closer to "there are two cows, someone milks them, and we all get some of the milk"
706f696e7477686f7265
Not by the definition of communism.
Cheomesh
Ok, what definition are you picking?
706f696e7477686f7265
Communism by the literal definition, means that everybody owns the same. No matter where it's from nor where it's going.
Abekrampe
I think earns is more accurate than owns, not trying to nitpick but i remember that as the general idea.
Etlatalis
Communism is a socioeconomic system structured upon the common ownership of the means of production and characterized by the absence of...
JudgeMentalCat
One man owns 99 cows, and a farm. He hires 30 people to work his land, and grows fat off the profit. The workers decide they are being
JudgeMentalCat
exploited, unionize, and seize the property from the man. They share the cows in common, each receiving a share of what is produced
JudgeMentalCat
according to what they need.
bond100
You glossed over where they kill the owner, kill 15 counterrevolutionaries who balked, and 3 of them end up with 90 cows and a dacha
aPokal
Dacha? And now we know you talk from experience, right comrade?
GrouchyMarx
The thing is, those who oppress will never step down peacefully. Overthrowing with violence is the only way to seize the means of production
livetotroll
Libertarianism. You have two cows. You give your neighbor some milk, you also sell milk. The state minds their business.
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
You have two cows. They get sick & die b/c the state "minds their business" & didn't regulate the vet. You can't afford food. You die. 1/2
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
The state continues to mind their business. 2/2
UnusedJesusForSale
livetotroll
steaminduece
Nice. I Laughed out loud for real.
msu14hockey
Your other neighbour was born on a farm with no cows. He goes hungry, but I guess that's his fault for being born to that family.
FrustratedBluffing
Libertarianism. You have two cows. Both die because you can no longer afford water or power, and because the vet isn't regulated.
livetotroll
I don't understand why the vet needs to be regulated... a vet that goes around killing cows isn't going to be in business very long.
FrustratedBluffing
What if he's the only vet in the area? What if people are convinced by him that it wasn't his fault, so no one ever knows he's a bad vet?
hakunamatatas
The socialism one annoyed me, no, you don't give your cow to your neighbor, the state takes your cow and gives it to your neighbor.
SardonicGrin
That's the comment I was looking for. And walking the cow into your neighbors pasture will cost the taxpayers 2M.
ThaWaySheGoes
ThaWaySheGoes
Zahnradfee
No. Actually you found an LPG with 2.000 well-kept cows from 2.000 members who now all work together to make sure everybody has milk.
hakunamatatas
I have no idea what an LPG is, all google is coming up with is Liquid Gas Petroleum. I need clarification unless you want to bottle farts.
Zahnradfee
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landwirtschaftliche_Produktionsgenossenschaft
hakunamatatas
Looks like a glorified feudal system to me. "Keep ''''''your'''''' property so long as you work it."
ReverendAurora
No, true socialism is I have two cows, I give what milk I don't need to people who have no milk production capabilities.
ReverendAurora
emphasis on need.
hakunamatatas
You have to have a state enforcing this. What you just described is charity.
ReverendAurora
I'll grant that, but the state doesn't take your cows, it just says "give that extra to those without."
hakunamatatas
That is one way it could manifest, but it is all about "seizing the means of production" in the end.
KharnApproves
Libertarianism. You don't save your cows from a disease because the Earth will eventually be consumed by the sun.
TinnyOctopus
That would be nihilism.
KharnApproves
I was referencing Gary Johnson saying we shouldn't do anything about Global Warming because the sun will eventually destroy Earth.
TinnyOctopus
After a brief foray on Google, I have determined that that is neither libertarianism nor nihilism. That would be numbing idiocy.
TinnyOctopus
Full disclosure: I didn't pay any attention to him, because - in my estimation - libertarianism is wildly long term destructive.
KharnApproves
He was a welcome distraction from Trump
ThaWaySheGoes
Danowar1990
Libertarianism. You post on facebook about how democrats and republicans suck at handling cows.
CoolHandRK
Then nominate a moron who just barely beat out a murdering rapist.
TinnyOctopus
Which one was that one?
CoolHandRK
Gary Johnson was the libertarian party nominee, he just barely beat John McAfee.
boywiththehappypenis
Yes, and while the state may leave you alone, the libertarians won't.
ChimneyImps
Some other guy who doesn't give away some of his milk can afford to sell it for less than you. You need to stop giving away milk to compete.
LilAniSkywalker
With the money saved from paying a low flat tax you can afford to share milk if you want.
Throrf
People think he's an asshole and buy milk from you.
mytigio
People SAY he's an asshole and that they buy milk from you, while still buying milk from him to save money.
Schmedes
You realize that you were giving milk away not for money but because you like your neighbor and it's a nice thing. So you keep doing it.
Omegilla
Eventually however, due to the fixed cost of your lost milk your profits dwindle and die in the face of more pragmatic competition.
Bsizzle42
Eventually others recognize your charity to your neighbors and donate money to your company and increase your publicity.
TheTastiestTampon
Ahhh, the old "I'm not greedy enough" argument of modern business ethics. "I'm not as generous as others, so I deserve more" basically
Schmedes
Or you run your business effectively and while not being a megacorporation, yo u make more than enough to get by.
FindYourChillMate
Libertarianism. You have two cows, but cant sell the milk as you are undercut by huge corporations, you sell the cows and hope you get a job
98BonersOnTheMoon
That is what happens now. Libertarianism cow situation wouldn't have raw milk regulations, can sell directly to neighbor.
FindYourChillMate
2. Certain companies.
jesusfuckingchristwhatnameisnttaken4
You have to totally ignore that corporations have all the power and nothing about that would change with libertarianism.
FindYourChillMate
Im assuming you are in the US. Thats because instead of using gov regulation to promote competition you use government regulation to help
PassiveAggressiveHotdogVendor
Libertarianism depends entirely on equal access to markets, something which cannot be supplied, and lack of allows creation of monopolies.
98BonersOnTheMoon
Were doing oversimplified comparisons right now. Please reword it in cows.
ElbowDeepInAPoliceState
Neighbour dies from e.coli infection from drinking unpasteurized milk, you but the invisible hand of the market does something and alls well
98BonersOnTheMoon
Neighbor is sued and tried for manslaughter.
lanenwm
Man still had to die before you did what you were supposed to in the first place. Others keep doing it hoping they won't get caught.