Sep 28, 2021 1:08 AM
jjameess
151634
1812
102
JcElliott
Sounds like he dose not have real friends or dose not know that there are many outlets for help. At worst this is is a look at me post.
LetMeGoogleThatShtForYou
Women are viewed as sexual objects men are viewed a disposable objects..Can you see who is viewing all of us like that? They are the problem
NotWelcomehere
The powerful mostly.
ridureyu
My back went out. It’s a recurring effect of an d injury that leaves me crippled for days. Worth Than the pain is the constant litany of:
“Stop being a wuss!” “You’re just faking it.” “You’re so lazy!” “Well, I still need you to lift heavy stuff for me!” “You’re inconvenient.”
“You’ve never felt any real pain in your life, so stop whining.”
MyQuietRiot
As a person with life long back problems, I feel this. Also, try a leg pillow.
Gaelig
0_o you live with jerks.
onedayillthinkofsomethingtoputhere
At 31, during a breakup, I started a friendship with my best friends. We can be honest. Everyone deserves the support we give each other.
Iwouldbenick
Same. Now I am 35 and engaged to someone fantastic! I owe a lot to my 2 friends that helped me through it all.
IncognitoPanda
You started a friendship with your friends?
workoutplan
You'd be amazed at the amount of men who struggle to open up, even to their closest friends. I am very lucky I have three extremely close1/?
mates that I have been able to share my worries/problems with and it has massively helped my mental health.
dogmatix
Surround yourself with decent people. I'm a 40yo guy and my group of friends are very emotionally supportive, open and caring.
Whatwhatsomethingbutt
Sure... but it's not really that simple.
Yeah I know I am lucky in that respect, but it is not as simple as "I'm a male so having supportive people around me is impossible" either.
imgonnahurtu
It very much can be, especially depending on where you are.
Redisia
Its ... hard FINDING those though. I honestly try to be 'sensitive' to the few people i know without much response.
Golfon
YES!!! THIS!!!!
sqqqq2
The stupid part is that you will find that in any post about the topic, you'll see everyone saying "HEY GET HELP HERES >CALL LINE<
FluxSagrie
in my experience those call lines suck ass too. I was at my darkest hour and couldn't even get someone to talk to half the time.
BUT you aren't even allowed to say the word suicide or killing yourself or any of those without it being shut down. You can't talk about it.
BornOnAMonday83
Yeah. I called one of those once because I needed to get some stuff off my chest and made a joke off handedly "gah, all this stress makes me
Wanna blow my brains out. You know?" I laughed. The help line girl laughed. The cops that she called to come to my apartment drug me off to
A not house because I was now suicidal. Lost my job because they wouldn't let me go until I admitted I wanted to kill myself and talked
With them about why. Fuck those call lines. Never again.
WGG25
the only judgement i have is about "censoring" those words. as a man i feel this though
CrispsorChups
Pesonally I find women can be very molesty.
SomeGuyWhoSaysStuff
Yep, this. I've lost people in my life trying to open up and talk about problems. I stopped talking about them. No one wants to hear them
GTPTB
A rare time that I'm glad there's no sound.
Nah. I think hearing the pain in his voice would really drive it home.
otamolot
With you. DM me if you want to talk.
NowDoThatVoodooThatYouDo
The answer is feminism. It’s tight as hell and as beneficial for men as it is for women, despite what misogynists will tell you
Tigersterne
Really depends on the school of feminist thought you're advocating....
Bacxaber
Misandrists being misandrists is not "despite what misogynists will tell you".
FuckThemIfTheyCantTakeAJoke
Dont forget the matriarchy!
RadiantCrescendo
We (guys) need to be more open about mental problems. I have problems and am seeing therapy and there's nothin wrong with that.
YourFriendlyNeighborhoodPartyPooper
Idk who needs to hear this but I love you for being you. There’s not enough love in the world. We need more
you can't talk about this to everybody. your therapist won't judge you or joke about your pain.
VBong
As per usual we need to stop fighting about genders and push for real change, mental health services for all, gov funding etc
Roit2003
I feel the same. Except that my mom cares for me, and my sexual abuser was a male. And unfortunately still out there.
MyOldUserNameMeantUndeadCocaineButNowItsThis
Jeez, that sucks. I have pretty good friends that I can call at 3am when I'm having a crisis. They can call me too.
Mightyn0ob
As a man, everyone I open up to, seems to just push me away. Most of the time I'm too afraid to talk to my friends about anything.
OhHaiNeonPegasus
Ditto :(
Skulldoor
Comments got a lot of people not understanding that feminism != egalitarianism. Propaganda working really well nowadays.
Explanation: Feminism is advocating women's rights with the stated goal of equality. Note, that says nothing about men's rights.
Egalitarianism is the idea that all people are equal and deserve equal rights. Note, this encompasses everyone, not just men or women.
Cassian
Yes, academics on the matter call that intersectionality. The usual suspects have been trying to make it into a boogeyman like CRT.
xd1213451
are these the same 'academics' that caused the 2008 financial crisis that fucked over the working class?
Nope, that was bankers giving subprime mortgages because of deregulation. Is there anything else you don't know that you need educaiton on?
BunnyBeard
I’m just judging you for using TikTok
uponstrangeshores
Social media ain't great but TT is at least better than FB.
Jessapillar
You clicked on this TikTok to whine about TikTok lmao
CypherSteak
Tiktok is an incredibly large and powerful platform.
sauerteig
https://www.logicalfallacies.org/bandwagon.html
AnonOmis1000
Doesn't mean it's good
onlymostofthetime
I once confided in a girl I was interested in that I was depressed. she had so many issues of her own but she ran for the hills (1/2)
she married the next one
ahernandez
Not saying no, but men can go to therapy to learn ways to reject the standards toxic masculinity places on them. It’s not hard. I had to /1
violence is the voice of the unheard. its not their fault no-one listens to them
Don’t quote MLK Jr. your struggle is not the same. Men have opportunities to make themselves hear. In the same others have to do so as well
Find a therapist without insurance, money, a job, and without family, and while living amongst peers who didn’t think men could suck dick /
This comes off as incredibly dismissive...
It is. If you want to talk about why you’re depressed I’m all ears. If you want to talk about how men can’t be sad, I’m tuning out.
Wat?
tinydog
I agree with the words, but why is he filming himself ranting and shooting the camera with a Nerf gun in a field?
ilikefoodmorethanpeople
well, that's being a man for you. you have to make other people care through your actions, some choose positive, some negative
outthere987
He’s angry bro
DungeonsAndDongers
Because he can't express his feelings around people, so he found a place where he can let it out while still being isolated.
illmanneredkai
Because theatrics for tiktok
darkhalfbreed
I think it's symbolism for why some young men feel the need to shoot up schools when they are emotionally frustrated with no good outlets
UlisesAlvarez
Catharsis
PartyStone
Black man raving and waving around a "gun"... so he doesn't end up on the news?
kievanmereel
This is OP's first post on imgur. Heavy stuff. Men can be raped too, having something taken without your consent is still trauma.
nangke
Bc the only valid modes of masculinity are aggression and anger, even when they need to express loneliness and vulnerability.
SNAPN2ASLIMMJIM
And if he was at the house he could get arrested for domestic violence doing the same thing
PleasantPeasantPheasant
He really doesn't hate 'being a man' what he really hates is the patriarchy.
But because equality gets ridiculed as well you can't say that either.
railgap
F-ing THIS
TakenToaster
This this a thousand times this!!!!
TheFashionGuy1
Because that's the only way people will take a man seriously when he talks about his emotions. Effed up, but true.
GenevaCat
To let out steam. It feels so good to scream into the void/open field/ocean at times.
I guess. This wasn't a spontaneous release though. He drove out to the field, brought his Nerf gun, set up his camera, and then conjured an>
> emotional display which he posted on social media. Even if the message was heartfelt, this was a "production", which feels weird to me.
SantasAnagram
I definitely need to plan my emotional outbursts in advance. Find a safe, quiet place where no-one else can judge/get hurt, then let it out.
Junktrunkjunkie
I haven't had an outburst in over a decade... I've got a lot bottled up. But not really sure how to release it.
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
A lot of us don't live near a place we can just spontaneously yell in, certainly not without additional judgement.
I would say that about 0% of my emotional releases are spontaneous, they are bottled and released later out of judging distance
What if he lives there? Who knows
Could be!
thelazyninja
S••C•D•L? A little help, please?
TrillionTalents
Suicidal
OnlyPositiveFavourites
Thanks. Wheel of Fortune isn't my forte.
itsthevoiceman
Yeah, TikTok doesn't like certain words.
Super Cool Dalai Lama
Hashbrown123
https://imgur.com/7LoLO4l.jpg
covideokilledtheradiostar
And women hate being women for all the same reasons. We need to approach mental health issues better than we have.
sarkonas
How many women do you think get told they were lucky to be sexually abused?
michealangleo
i think most get their sexual abuse dismisssed
PurpleKittyBot
Maybe not lucky, just “Are you sure you weren’t asking for it/ sure you weren’t imagining it?”
While true, can you remind me of the ratio on abuse shelters for men vs women? How about getting a woman charged / restrained for violence?
The point isn't "Things aren't perfect for women!" because that's absolutely true, it's that they're also horrifyingly bad for men. 1/2
Making note of the issues for men, and moving to correct them, doesn't invalidate or stand in the way of doing the same for women. 2/2
It’s not a contest.
Then why bring up women's issues when we're discussing men's? I actually don't care but that's something I see get thrown out in the reverse
Grimmy32
You know what else men also need. Male shelters. They have nothing like Womens shelters in the US.
cactuskid1956
It's called a sports bar ?
humptysorthopedic
Erin Pizzey launched 1st dom vi women shelter in Britain, no funding. She got banned bc she also helped men, boys by Marxist rad feminists.
BrokeInCaseOfAnEmergency
Men actually used to have one, the YMCA used to double as a shelter of sorts for men down on their luck
Spuduck
My sis used to do voluntary work at a mens shelter..there arent nearly enough resources for them
captainmojojojo
I used to volunteer at a shelter that had rooms (fewer) for men too. It was state grant funded. I don't think it's super common though
Celphat
Wait. I thought that's what a pub was for
thatunpleasantfeeling
I don't think they have any state funded ones. The ones that exist are all privately funded.
they used to exist but feminists campaigned to defund them.
elinveronicap
Sauce?
LaronX
We have them in Germany. Merkel and her party did s lot to slow that down, but they are coming
Niagaran
There is one in all of Canada. There used to be another but the guy paying out of pocket for it killed himself.
sweaterpuppies
We have one in Seattle.
METROlD
Woot Seattle!
xwarui
My ex is super red pilled - toxicly - but that doesn't jade me to the fact that there is a real issue when it comes to men's rights.
He had me watch the film, The Red Pill, and it sheds a lot of light on the hypocrisy of the men/women dichotomy. I highly recommend it.
lurkeronthecompound
City Union Mission, KC, MO. Started by a Madam Chamberlain in the late 1800s. Yes a real Madam helping men on all fronts.
yoshmagosh
I was surprised to find out there is one here in Georgia that helps men get back on their feet with jobs and housing too
CasualStrawberries
I've never even thought of this. Thanks- for real
TheDudeanator
s/ you want a place to cover your head? Just get a job! /s
sskyrimjob
Part of the issue is there seem to be a good deal more homeless men than women. Problem doesn’t seem solveable.
Literally every shelter within an hour of where I live is family or female only. Single men are screwed.
Painguin
I took in a family member because he was homeless after escaping abuse. We couldn't find anything.
Taxicat
Then go make it. Shelters don’t spawn out of thin air; they took constant and serious WORK to create and maintain.
Probably because women (and especially women with children) still tend to be at a bigger financial disadvantage and in more danger >
Conser1
We get it. You hate men. Stfu and go away.
Not even close. Just tired of men blaming their problems on women instead of actually fixing them.
>from either being on the streets (where they’re seen as easy targets who no one will miss if they’re kidnapped, killed, or >
>sold into sexual slavery), or from whatever violence the shelter helped them escape from. That, and/or no one bothers to make >
>shelters specifically for men, whereas most women’s shelters were started by OTHER WOMEN who had been forced to flee similar violence.
ginevra
Totally agree here - the funding is at appropriate levels for shelters where women and their children need to seek refuge, but there should>
be more help for men and families, too. Like, I’m a woman - I GET why some shelters may need to exclude men, but what I don’t get is why >
the only help for families with at least one male parent can only get conditional help from churches or other religious organisations. And >
Even the family ones often don’t take men (my bro & his family are homeless. 7 of them living in his car cos no shelter would take them all)
It's bullshit.
Then lobby to create shelters that do admit mixed-gender families.
I don’t live in the US. He does. He’s so broke he has time to work, sleep & be a dad. So, like, he hasn’t got the privilege of campaigning.
Other men do, so why haven’t they? They seem to recognize a need for it, but instead of making actual plans, they’ve just attacked >
glenngriffon
This is a part of feminism most people overlook. It's not all about women and our quest to have equality but to give men some of the >
same outreach tools women have. To tear down the masculinity that says "if a woman sexually abuses a man, the man got lucky and is happy" >
cause no, that's not how abuse works at all. And to give men safe places in society where they freely express other emotions besides >
"Angry, hungry, horny". To make it acceptable for men to cry and to forever end the tiresome cry "Be a man!". And that's not all of it.
but that is all of my comment though. Sound off men. Make yourselves heard.
Erin Pizzey started first dom vi shelters for women, added for men. She was kicked out by Marxist rad feminists for caring about men too.
Most women’s shelters were started by other women who had survived homelessness and domestic violence. There’s plenty of >
>opportunity out there for men to create more men’s shelters, but for whatever reason, few of them have bothered. Perhaps instead of >
>just complaining, or attacking women’s shelters for not admitting men, maybe explore WHY men haven’t stepped up to the plate to help >
>other men, the way women have helped other women? It’s not like they lack the means to help, so why haven’t they?
[deleted]
Weissicles
Maybe because the majority of the public (in many cases including friends and family) gaslight them into thinking it wasn't an issue.
There was one up in canada, but it met so much opposition for its mere existence that it had to close down.
meskarune
FYI all homeless shelters are men's shelters. Women specific ones were made because women were getting assaulted at regular shelters.
Domivla
You just proved this guys point. You litterally say the place where rape is done is men's shelter. Men are probably abused in those 1/2
Shelters too. They are just less likely to get help. Also noone gives a fuck if a man gets raped.
Maybe in the big cities.
Finduses
Why is this a competition, these are both pressing issues
TheScaryJello
FYI: there are no shelters for men who are victims of domestic violence, which is the point that they're making.
Regular homeless shelters ARE for men who are domestic violence victims. Most have programs specific to that.
The vast majority of those programs ASSUME the man is the aggressor and offender. That's if they even have a program.
90% of people in homeless shelters are men and the programs available include rehousing. Have you ever actually been to shelter?
Women can go to homeless shelters. Can men go to women's shelters?
Not saying they wouldn't face problems but it's still their choice.
Women do go to regular shelters but they are frequently assaulted by the men there.
the difference is being 1 female sleeping with 50 men...thats why theres smaller womens only shelters. 1/2
and most men don't feel uncomfortable sleeping in a room with all women where the reverse is more common
kendrickmeadows1
This kind of reaction, feeling like you can't talk or express yourself safely is why we need feminism.
ChickenROAR
... Or just talking about it. Exactly what this guy is doing. Raising awareness of a problem that some of us didn't even know we all share.
Can you let this man have his moment?
tylerlarson
If feminism is the solution here, then feminism is unhelpfully named.
Cortezdelanoche
Maybe the actual definition of feminism decades ago. But modern feminism vilified men and benefits only women
andrew823543
Feminism has done the opposite for me. I know that wasn't the intention, but here we are.
lowersmark
Not modern day feminism
Chimaeraxxxxx
#heforshe
Datsinginguy
No. This is like the Black Lives Matter/All Lives Matter conversation. As a man who held strong for everyone, when I needed the support I /
Didn't get it. I really really feel this guy.
MajorasFlipFlops
It's true. Instead I'm awake at 0131 and we'll thinking about cutting everyone out and just leaving.
LtColScottyBukkake
Feminism the movement and feminism the philosophy are very distinct entities. I agree that feminism the philosophy would solve this, bcz 1/*
Because toxic masculinity is the direct result of misogyny (i.e. the widespread perspective that feminine traits are weakness and have no 2/
Place in a male body.) Validating the value of feeling your emotions and talking about your struggles IS feminist, and it also aligns with3/
Many other values systems that would lead us all to believe that this is an important change. 4/4
Rwhejek
There are a lot of communities where men don't have the luxury to embrace"feminism"..men are different from women and require different help
LumpWithaLeafHat
Feminism as a paradigm centers issues impacting women. We need something else to elevate men out of this toxicity.
this the same feminism that got canada to stop funding the only male shelter, shortly after which the owner of the shelter commited suicide?
nice try shill.
DiningKruger
Equalism
Egalitarianism*
MosesSupposesHisToesesAreRosesButMosesSupposesErroneously
Humanism
gnomedeplume
big "all lives matter" energy coming out of this
That's a good example of projection. I'm sure you can think better than that.
springuy8
^This person gets it
VitruvianFilms
Feminism is equalism, despite how the internet has twisted that word
No, it isn't.
for equality to exist first must come the acknowledgment that inequality exists
We've acknowledged that in spades.
No, feminism, because it’s the way things like genuine friendship, non-sexual affection, and empathy have become linked to femininity >
Saying that it's feminine to have emotions and empathy is grossly wrong.
Tell that to society in general, unfortunately. Boys and men are still routinely mocked as “gay,” “girly,” and “weak” for it, especially >
>by other boys and men.
>which is then continuously derided as “weak” and “inferior” and something men should avoid being associated with at all >
>costs that has caused this mess.
redandgreenisbrown
Exactly. Feminism teaches men TO talk, and not to feel ashamed about their feeling and that expressing them in a healthy manner is healthy!
CarmenSandiego
Actual decent response and you have the most downvotes. Smh.
Zypherfier
Sadly all the feminists I've talked to have made it about women and called me contrarian for the sake of it. Not always so simple.
temporarynamesftw
Look at the responses from people in this chat - lots of feminists and they're being kind. There's room for everyone and our issues.
stevencloser
Also some who are condescending, so...
Eddyrock
Most feminists I’ve met are pretty dismissive of male issues and men with problems.
I think this may be due to a lack of nuance in public arguments about it. See Emma Watson’s #heforshe speech
nibot43
When they are compared to women's issues. But male issues beget female issues. Raising men to be full humans helps women be full humans.
Herbaria
Anna it also helps women and men stay alive
yourqueenrat
I feel like there’s a lot of “surface feminist to be trendy” out there (coming from a female perspective and I’ve actually studied fem)
A lot of what's going around is feel-good feminism that isn't informed by much actual study
That’s a fair point
Please expound on which issues they're dismissive of? I'm willing to engage in a good faith discussion on this.
talldrink413
Rephrase: most humans are dismissive.
stinkingyeti
I had a female therapist laught when i said i was emotionally abused by my ex
GrumpyOldMillennial
Men being victims of domestic violence. Men being raped by women. Men's mental health in its entirety. Men's role in relationships.
Picoshi
Also, like almost all divorces end up with dad having to live alone. In general only males have to go to army. Yet we don't get to whine.
angelfixer
Woman here. I’ve found this too. So many men and boys beaten and abused by violent women, but no support given
Someshithead241
Even examples of support being taken away. Like the man driven to suicide by being attacking him online for opening a male abuse shelter.
BBetts84
Y'all need some friends who have your back
It makes a difference, doesn't matter the gender, find some people who care about you for you
Yup. Now, where do we get those?
Got most of mine in undergrad
Ah, impossible for me. Fun.
NinjaHoff
...I'm not entirely sure feminism is going to help men with the majority of double standards and issues they face
Yea I respect the good thought but I snorted out loud when I read it
ArgonSpark
I don't think you know what respect means...
PetiteWentz
You should really look into Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s caseload as the founder of the ACLU’s Women’s Rights project. Might change your mind.
JackalopeFromNeptune
Bro then you have no idea what it is.
kaitekarue
Feminism. At least in Previous iterations, was about equality and addressing the underlying sources of societal inequity. One of which 1/2
Is emotional stagnation and societal pressures on men to be hyper aggressive robotic personalities that forces them to seek oppression 2/3
As a means to self aggrandizment. Misery loves company. Honestly whaf is "feminism" now isnt feminist ideals at all.
Those issues come from a skewed vision of masculinity, which is "the patriarchy" feminism aims to tear down. The idea that an individual is/
the sum of their demographic parts doesn't come from feminism (or racial theory or queer theory, etc), it's the result of a civilization //
discriminating against certain parties for the betterment of others. Intersectionality is analyzing how identity paradigms work in either///
Conjunction with or opposition to each other. "Feminism" simply means the belief that people are equal, regardless of gender. That's it. ///
Consider the fact that genuine friendships, non-sexual affection between adults, empathy, even emotions other than anger have all >
>been strongly associated with femininity, which is then devalued and mocked as “weak” and “inferior” and something that men should >
>avoid being associated with at all costs, and you start to see why this is a feminist issue. As long as anything associated with >
>women is seen as inferior, men will desperately avoid associating with it even if it hurts them (or even kills them) in the process.
Please elaborate. I'm willing to engage in a good faith discussion on this.
Vojens
If I may in good faith ask how it helps men?
The idea is that the equality women are fighting for gives men as much as it gives women, because it sees us as equal, which means in 1/2
Addition to letting women be treated with respect in the workplace etc, it can tear down the cultural values that define what men can/‘t be
ikbeneengeit
Not OP but the philosophy of feminism is ready helpful for men's wellbeing (I am a man). Valuing men not because they're wealthy, strong, ..
..or sacrificial, but because they are warm, nurturing, and longing for emotional connection to others. Like all humans. Removing...
.. gender roles is a key theme of feminist PHILOSOPHY. But be warned, some PEOPLE calling themselves feminist do oppose sympathy for men.
The biggest thing that comes to mind is divorce custody cases being overwhelmingly in favor of the mother
Freemage69
A lie. In the modern US, fathers win the majority of custody cases in which they fight for custody. Unfortunately, a lot of men opt not 1/x
have anything to do wtih the kids if they no longer have the option to fssk the mom, leaving her to do all the work of child-rearing. 2/2
These laws come from the antiquated notion that men work and women stay at home and are broodmares. Feminism works to dismantle this.
Feminism also works to establish that men can be and are victims of domestic abuse, and should be able to get help for such.
notinitforthepoints
it's actually patriarchy that creates the double standards that only women can be mothers and therefore child has to stay with mom.
This is dismissing the actual issue which is a systematic problem, and attacking a group trying to fix it.
I'm not trying to attack women. That doesn't solve anything, I know. It was just one of the things that came to mind in terms of issues.
Except when you look up the actual data, they’re overwhelmingly NOT. The vast majority of custody cases are decided outside of court, >
>with BOTH sides agreeing to give the mother primary custody. Of the very few that require the courts to intervene, most fathers who >
grampybone
Was once shown a thread by a woman about Men VS Women relationship values. Had some good points! Then it dissolved into why men are bad. 1/
By the end it was just one line repeated and bolded over and over again, with great excitement : WOMEN WANT A PARTNER MEN WANT AN OBJECT. 2/
I understood the why of it. And I still felt sad when I asked about that bit and she just seemed confused why I didn't agree. 3/
MrBlueSands
The extent to which feminism is a political movement, and most contemporary politics embrace a very "Us Vs. Them" mentality, and as 1/?
feminism is most often expressed and recognized as a Women's Movement, it often becomes or presents a facile "Yay, gals! Boo, guys!" 2/?
sentiment that is tragically distant from the very needful feminist idea that greater gender equality, and questioning of traditional 3/?
ImWhompyWhomperson
Agreed...modern feminism atleast. it has morphed into this "girls rule, boys drool" narrative. Not super helpful to a mens' self esteem
TallDude
No. No it is not. But sadly that argument is used to fight against real feminist issues. Straw man.
legalisegaymarijuana
That's not the definition of "modern femininism" ?♀️
Who gives a shit about definitions when you have actual examples of it happening? Oh that's right, people who use definitions to deflect
this misunderstanding of what feminism means is also why we need feminism
SerialChickenLover
That’s just throwing gasoline on the fire. Feminism needs a rebrand, if anything.
charontremble82
No, masculinity need a rebrand. This toxicity towards men is a self perpetuating cycle also aided and abetted by some women... 1/2
yourlocalgayfurry
That's not modern feminism, we call that radical feminism and i agree it's horrid. But modern regular feminism is good.
Itcanbedone
Well that's the problem in it self. Some rebranding needs to happen.
CommanderXirlos
Intersectional Feminism is the term you’re actually referring to.
It may not be the "real" feminism, but its the one getting the most attention and making the most change, for the good and bad
alex5775
I only see it get attention on this site and it's always as a means to shit on feminism as a whole
I used to think this way. Then I learned to talk about my feelings. I'm willing to have a good faith discussion about this if you are.
How did learning to talk about your feelings change your view of modern feminism and its goals/narratives? I don't see the correlation
Modern feminism taught me that the nuclear family is a farce taught to children as the norm, when in fact there is no norm.
More importantly feminism taught me that feelings of inadequacy of being "masculine" don't come from women. They come from archaic views of
Feminism taught me that biological sex and gender identity are not linked and that men can be home keepers and women can be breadwinners.
JcElliott
Sounds like he dose not have real friends or dose not know that there are many outlets for help. At worst this is is a look at me post.
LetMeGoogleThatShtForYou
Women are viewed as sexual objects men are viewed a disposable objects..Can you see who is viewing all of us like that? They are the problem
NotWelcomehere
The powerful mostly.
ridureyu
My back went out. It’s a recurring effect of an d injury that leaves me crippled for days. Worth Than the pain is the constant litany of:
ridureyu
“Stop being a wuss!” “You’re just faking it.” “You’re so lazy!” “Well, I still need you to lift heavy stuff for me!” “You’re inconvenient.”
ridureyu
“You’ve never felt any real pain in your life, so stop whining.”
MyQuietRiot
As a person with life long back problems, I feel this. Also, try a leg pillow.
Gaelig
0_o you live with jerks.
onedayillthinkofsomethingtoputhere
At 31, during a breakup, I started a friendship with my best friends. We can be honest. Everyone deserves the support we give each other.
Iwouldbenick
Same. Now I am 35 and engaged to someone fantastic! I owe a lot to my 2 friends that helped me through it all.
IncognitoPanda
You started a friendship with your friends?
workoutplan
You'd be amazed at the amount of men who struggle to open up, even to their closest friends. I am very lucky I have three extremely close1/?
workoutplan
mates that I have been able to share my worries/problems with and it has massively helped my mental health.
dogmatix
Surround yourself with decent people. I'm a 40yo guy and my group of friends are very emotionally supportive, open and caring.
Whatwhatsomethingbutt
Sure... but it's not really that simple.
dogmatix
Yeah I know I am lucky in that respect, but it is not as simple as "I'm a male so having supportive people around me is impossible" either.
imgonnahurtu
It very much can be, especially depending on where you are.
Redisia
Its ... hard FINDING those though. I honestly try to be 'sensitive' to the few people i know without much response.
Golfon
YES!!! THIS!!!!
sqqqq2
The stupid part is that you will find that in any post about the topic, you'll see everyone saying "HEY GET HELP HERES >CALL LINE<
FluxSagrie
in my experience those call lines suck ass too. I was at my darkest hour and couldn't even get someone to talk to half the time.
sqqqq2
BUT you aren't even allowed to say the word suicide or killing yourself or any of those without it being shut down. You can't talk about it.
BornOnAMonday83
Yeah. I called one of those once because I needed to get some stuff off my chest and made a joke off handedly "gah, all this stress makes me
BornOnAMonday83
Wanna blow my brains out. You know?" I laughed. The help line girl laughed. The cops that she called to come to my apartment drug me off to
BornOnAMonday83
A not house because I was now suicidal. Lost my job because they wouldn't let me go until I admitted I wanted to kill myself and talked
BornOnAMonday83
With them about why. Fuck those call lines. Never again.
WGG25
the only judgement i have is about "censoring" those words. as a man i feel this though
CrispsorChups
Pesonally I find women can be very molesty.
SomeGuyWhoSaysStuff
Yep, this. I've lost people in my life trying to open up and talk about problems. I stopped talking about them. No one wants to hear them
GTPTB
A rare time that I'm glad there's no sound.
BornOnAMonday83
Nah. I think hearing the pain in his voice would really drive it home.
otamolot
With you. DM me if you want to talk.
NowDoThatVoodooThatYouDo
The answer is feminism. It’s tight as hell and as beneficial for men as it is for women, despite what misogynists will tell you
Tigersterne
Really depends on the school of feminist thought you're advocating....
Bacxaber
Misandrists being misandrists is not "despite what misogynists will tell you".
FuckThemIfTheyCantTakeAJoke
Dont forget the matriarchy!
RadiantCrescendo
We (guys) need to be more open about mental problems. I have problems and am seeing therapy and there's nothin wrong with that.
YourFriendlyNeighborhoodPartyPooper
Idk who needs to hear this but I love you for being you. There’s not enough love in the world. We need more
Gaelig
you can't talk about this to everybody. your therapist won't judge you or joke about your pain.
VBong
As per usual we need to stop fighting about genders and push for real change, mental health services for all, gov funding etc
Roit2003
I feel the same. Except that my mom cares for me, and my sexual abuser was a male. And unfortunately still out there.
MyOldUserNameMeantUndeadCocaineButNowItsThis
Jeez, that sucks. I have pretty good friends that I can call at 3am when I'm having a crisis. They can call me too.
Mightyn0ob
As a man, everyone I open up to, seems to just push me away. Most of the time I'm too afraid to talk to my friends about anything.
OhHaiNeonPegasus
Ditto :(
Skulldoor
Comments got a lot of people not understanding that feminism != egalitarianism. Propaganda working really well nowadays.
Skulldoor
Explanation: Feminism is advocating women's rights with the stated goal of equality. Note, that says nothing about men's rights.
Skulldoor
Egalitarianism is the idea that all people are equal and deserve equal rights. Note, this encompasses everyone, not just men or women.
Cassian
Yes, academics on the matter call that intersectionality. The usual suspects have been trying to make it into a boogeyman like CRT.
xd1213451
are these the same 'academics' that caused the 2008 financial crisis that fucked over the working class?
Cassian
Nope, that was bankers giving subprime mortgages because of deregulation. Is there anything else you don't know that you need educaiton on?
BunnyBeard
I’m just judging you for using TikTok
uponstrangeshores
Social media ain't great but TT is at least better than FB.
Jessapillar
You clicked on this TikTok to whine about TikTok lmao
CypherSteak
Tiktok is an incredibly large and powerful platform.
sauerteig
https://www.logicalfallacies.org/bandwagon.html
AnonOmis1000
Doesn't mean it's good
onlymostofthetime
I once confided in a girl I was interested in that I was depressed. she had so many issues of her own but she ran for the hills (1/2)
onlymostofthetime
she married the next one
ahernandez
Not saying no, but men can go to therapy to learn ways to reject the standards toxic masculinity places on them. It’s not hard. I had to /1
xd1213451
violence is the voice of the unheard. its not their fault no-one listens to them
ahernandez
Don’t quote MLK Jr. your struggle is not the same. Men have opportunities to make themselves hear. In the same others have to do so as well
ahernandez
Find a therapist without insurance, money, a job, and without family, and while living amongst peers who didn’t think men could suck dick /
NotWelcomehere
This comes off as incredibly dismissive...
ahernandez
It is. If you want to talk about why you’re depressed I’m all ears. If you want to talk about how men can’t be sad, I’m tuning out.
NotWelcomehere
Wat?
tinydog
I agree with the words, but why is he filming himself ranting and shooting the camera with a Nerf gun in a field?
ilikefoodmorethanpeople
well, that's being a man for you. you have to make other people care through your actions, some choose positive, some negative
outthere987
He’s angry bro
DungeonsAndDongers
Because he can't express his feelings around people, so he found a place where he can let it out while still being isolated.
illmanneredkai
Because theatrics for tiktok
darkhalfbreed
I think it's symbolism for why some young men feel the need to shoot up schools when they are emotionally frustrated with no good outlets
UlisesAlvarez
Catharsis
PartyStone
Black man raving and waving around a "gun"... so he doesn't end up on the news?
kievanmereel
This is OP's first post on imgur. Heavy stuff. Men can be raped too, having something taken without your consent is still trauma.
nangke
Bc the only valid modes of masculinity are aggression and anger, even when they need to express loneliness and vulnerability.
SNAPN2ASLIMMJIM
And if he was at the house he could get arrested for domestic violence doing the same thing
PleasantPeasantPheasant
He really doesn't hate 'being a man' what he really hates is the patriarchy.
PleasantPeasantPheasant
But because equality gets ridiculed as well you can't say that either.
railgap
F-ing THIS
TakenToaster
This this a thousand times this!!!!
TheFashionGuy1
Because that's the only way people will take a man seriously when he talks about his emotions. Effed up, but true.
GenevaCat
To let out steam. It feels so good to scream into the void/open field/ocean at times.
tinydog
I guess. This wasn't a spontaneous release though. He drove out to the field, brought his Nerf gun, set up his camera, and then conjured an>
tinydog
> emotional display which he posted on social media. Even if the message was heartfelt, this was a "production", which feels weird to me.
SantasAnagram
I definitely need to plan my emotional outbursts in advance. Find a safe, quiet place where no-one else can judge/get hurt, then let it out.
Junktrunkjunkie
I haven't had an outburst in over a decade... I've got a lot bottled up. But not really sure how to release it.
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
A lot of us don't live near a place we can just spontaneously yell in, certainly not without additional judgement.
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
I would say that about 0% of my emotional releases are spontaneous, they are bottled and released later out of judging distance
GenevaCat
What if he lives there? Who knows
tinydog
Could be!
thelazyninja
S••C•D•L? A little help, please?
TrillionTalents
Suicidal
OnlyPositiveFavourites
Suicidal
thelazyninja
Thanks. Wheel of Fortune isn't my forte.
itsthevoiceman
Yeah, TikTok doesn't like certain words.
NowDoThatVoodooThatYouDo
Super Cool Dalai Lama
Hashbrown123
https://imgur.com/7LoLO4l.jpg
covideokilledtheradiostar
And women hate being women for all the same reasons. We need to approach mental health issues better than we have.
sarkonas
How many women do you think get told they were lucky to be sexually abused?
michealangleo
i think most get their sexual abuse dismisssed
PurpleKittyBot
Maybe not lucky, just “Are you sure you weren’t asking for it/ sure you weren’t imagining it?”
imgonnahurtu
While true, can you remind me of the ratio on abuse shelters for men vs women? How about getting a woman charged / restrained for violence?
imgonnahurtu
The point isn't "Things aren't perfect for women!" because that's absolutely true, it's that they're also horrifyingly bad for men. 1/2
imgonnahurtu
Making note of the issues for men, and moving to correct them, doesn't invalidate or stand in the way of doing the same for women. 2/2
covideokilledtheradiostar
It’s not a contest.
NotWelcomehere
Then why bring up women's issues when we're discussing men's? I actually don't care but that's something I see get thrown out in the reverse
Grimmy32
You know what else men also need. Male shelters. They have nothing like Womens shelters in the US.
cactuskid1956
It's called a sports bar ?
humptysorthopedic
Erin Pizzey launched 1st dom vi women shelter in Britain, no funding. She got banned bc she also helped men, boys by Marxist rad feminists.
BrokeInCaseOfAnEmergency
Men actually used to have one, the YMCA used to double as a shelter of sorts for men down on their luck
Spuduck
My sis used to do voluntary work at a mens shelter..there arent nearly enough resources for them
captainmojojojo
I used to volunteer at a shelter that had rooms (fewer) for men too. It was state grant funded. I don't think it's super common though
Celphat
Wait. I thought that's what a pub was for
thatunpleasantfeeling
I don't think they have any state funded ones. The ones that exist are all privately funded.
xd1213451
they used to exist but feminists campaigned to defund them.
elinveronicap
Sauce?
LaronX
We have them in Germany. Merkel and her party did s lot to slow that down, but they are coming
Niagaran
There is one in all of Canada. There used to be another but the guy paying out of pocket for it killed himself.
sweaterpuppies
We have one in Seattle.
METROlD
Woot Seattle!
xwarui
My ex is super red pilled - toxicly - but that doesn't jade me to the fact that there is a real issue when it comes to men's rights.
xwarui
He had me watch the film, The Red Pill, and it sheds a lot of light on the hypocrisy of the men/women dichotomy. I highly recommend it.
lurkeronthecompound
City Union Mission, KC, MO. Started by a Madam Chamberlain in the late 1800s. Yes a real Madam helping men on all fronts.
yoshmagosh
I was surprised to find out there is one here in Georgia that helps men get back on their feet with jobs and housing too
CasualStrawberries
I've never even thought of this. Thanks- for real
TheDudeanator
s/ you want a place to cover your head? Just get a job! /s
sskyrimjob
Part of the issue is there seem to be a good deal more homeless men than women. Problem doesn’t seem solveable.
Hashbrown123
Literally every shelter within an hour of where I live is family or female only. Single men are screwed.
Painguin
I took in a family member because he was homeless after escaping abuse. We couldn't find anything.
Taxicat
Then go make it. Shelters don’t spawn out of thin air; they took constant and serious WORK to create and maintain.
Taxicat
Probably because women (and especially women with children) still tend to be at a bigger financial disadvantage and in more danger >
Conser1
We get it. You hate men. Stfu and go away.
Taxicat
Not even close. Just tired of men blaming their problems on women instead of actually fixing them.
Taxicat
>from either being on the streets (where they’re seen as easy targets who no one will miss if they’re kidnapped, killed, or >
Taxicat
>sold into sexual slavery), or from whatever violence the shelter helped them escape from. That, and/or no one bothers to make >
Taxicat
>shelters specifically for men, whereas most women’s shelters were started by OTHER WOMEN who had been forced to flee similar violence.
ginevra
Totally agree here - the funding is at appropriate levels for shelters where women and their children need to seek refuge, but there should>
ginevra
be more help for men and families, too. Like, I’m a woman - I GET why some shelters may need to exclude men, but what I don’t get is why >
ginevra
the only help for families with at least one male parent can only get conditional help from churches or other religious organisations. And >
ginevra
Even the family ones often don’t take men (my bro & his family are homeless. 7 of them living in his car cos no shelter would take them all)
Hashbrown123
It's bullshit.
Taxicat
Then lobby to create shelters that do admit mixed-gender families.
ginevra
I don’t live in the US. He does. He’s so broke he has time to work, sleep & be a dad. So, like, he hasn’t got the privilege of campaigning.
Taxicat
Other men do, so why haven’t they? They seem to recognize a need for it, but instead of making actual plans, they’ve just attacked >
glenngriffon
This is a part of feminism most people overlook. It's not all about women and our quest to have equality but to give men some of the >
glenngriffon
same outreach tools women have. To tear down the masculinity that says "if a woman sexually abuses a man, the man got lucky and is happy" >
glenngriffon
cause no, that's not how abuse works at all. And to give men safe places in society where they freely express other emotions besides >
glenngriffon
"Angry, hungry, horny". To make it acceptable for men to cry and to forever end the tiresome cry "Be a man!". And that's not all of it.
glenngriffon
but that is all of my comment though. Sound off men. Make yourselves heard.
humptysorthopedic
Erin Pizzey started first dom vi shelters for women, added for men. She was kicked out by Marxist rad feminists for caring about men too.
Taxicat
Most women’s shelters were started by other women who had survived homelessness and domestic violence. There’s plenty of >
Taxicat
>opportunity out there for men to create more men’s shelters, but for whatever reason, few of them have bothered. Perhaps instead of >
Taxicat
>just complaining, or attacking women’s shelters for not admitting men, maybe explore WHY men haven’t stepped up to the plate to help >
Taxicat
>other men, the way women have helped other women? It’s not like they lack the means to help, so why haven’t they?
[deleted]
[deleted]
Weissicles
Maybe because the majority of the public (in many cases including friends and family) gaslight them into thinking it wasn't an issue.
ridureyu
There was one up in canada, but it met so much opposition for its mere existence that it had to close down.
meskarune
FYI all homeless shelters are men's shelters. Women specific ones were made because women were getting assaulted at regular shelters.
Domivla
You just proved this guys point. You litterally say the place where rape is done is men's shelter. Men are probably abused in those 1/2
Domivla
Shelters too. They are just less likely to get help. Also noone gives a fuck if a man gets raped.
Hashbrown123
Maybe in the big cities.
Finduses
Why is this a competition, these are both pressing issues
TheScaryJello
FYI: there are no shelters for men who are victims of domestic violence, which is the point that they're making.
meskarune
Regular homeless shelters ARE for men who are domestic violence victims. Most have programs specific to that.
TheScaryJello
The vast majority of those programs ASSUME the man is the aggressor and offender. That's if they even have a program.
meskarune
90% of people in homeless shelters are men and the programs available include rehousing. Have you ever actually been to shelter?
Niagaran
Women can go to homeless shelters. Can men go to women's shelters?
Niagaran
Not saying they wouldn't face problems but it's still their choice.
meskarune
Women do go to regular shelters but they are frequently assaulted by the men there.
VBong
the difference is being 1 female sleeping with 50 men...thats why theres smaller womens only shelters. 1/2
VBong
and most men don't feel uncomfortable sleeping in a room with all women where the reverse is more common
kendrickmeadows1
This kind of reaction, feeling like you can't talk or express yourself safely is why we need feminism.
[deleted]
[deleted]
ChickenROAR
... Or just talking about it. Exactly what this guy is doing. Raising awareness of a problem that some of us didn't even know we all share.
otamolot
Can you let this man have his moment?
tylerlarson
If feminism is the solution here, then feminism is unhelpfully named.
Cortezdelanoche
andrew823543
Feminism has done the opposite for me. I know that wasn't the intention, but here we are.
lowersmark
Not modern day feminism
Chimaeraxxxxx
#heforshe
Datsinginguy
No. This is like the Black Lives Matter/All Lives Matter conversation. As a man who held strong for everyone, when I needed the support I /
Datsinginguy
Didn't get it. I really really feel this guy.
MajorasFlipFlops
It's true. Instead I'm awake at 0131 and we'll thinking about cutting everyone out and just leaving.
LtColScottyBukkake
Feminism the movement and feminism the philosophy are very distinct entities. I agree that feminism the philosophy would solve this, bcz 1/*
LtColScottyBukkake
Because toxic masculinity is the direct result of misogyny (i.e. the widespread perspective that feminine traits are weakness and have no 2/
LtColScottyBukkake
Place in a male body.) Validating the value of feeling your emotions and talking about your struggles IS feminist, and it also aligns with3/
LtColScottyBukkake
Many other values systems that would lead us all to believe that this is an important change. 4/4
Rwhejek
There are a lot of communities where men don't have the luxury to embrace"feminism"..men are different from women and require different help
LumpWithaLeafHat
Feminism as a paradigm centers issues impacting women. We need something else to elevate men out of this toxicity.
xd1213451
this the same feminism that got canada to stop funding the only male shelter, shortly after which the owner of the shelter commited suicide?
xd1213451
nice try shill.
DiningKruger
Equalism
Skulldoor
Egalitarianism*
MosesSupposesHisToesesAreRosesButMosesSupposesErroneously
Humanism
gnomedeplume
big "all lives matter" energy coming out of this
MosesSupposesHisToesesAreRosesButMosesSupposesErroneously
That's a good example of projection. I'm sure you can think better than that.
springuy8
^This person gets it
VitruvianFilms
Feminism is equalism, despite how the internet has twisted that word
Bacxaber
No, it isn't.
gnomedeplume
for equality to exist first must come the acknowledgment that inequality exists
DiningKruger
We've acknowledged that in spades.
Taxicat
No, feminism, because it’s the way things like genuine friendship, non-sexual affection, and empathy have become linked to femininity >
DiningKruger
Saying that it's feminine to have emotions and empathy is grossly wrong.
Taxicat
Tell that to society in general, unfortunately. Boys and men are still routinely mocked as “gay,” “girly,” and “weak” for it, especially >
Taxicat
>by other boys and men.
Taxicat
>which is then continuously derided as “weak” and “inferior” and something men should avoid being associated with at all >
Taxicat
>costs that has caused this mess.
redandgreenisbrown
Exactly. Feminism teaches men TO talk, and not to feel ashamed about their feeling and that expressing them in a healthy manner is healthy!
CarmenSandiego
Actual decent response and you have the most downvotes. Smh.
Zypherfier
Sadly all the feminists I've talked to have made it about women and called me contrarian for the sake of it. Not always so simple.
temporarynamesftw
Look at the responses from people in this chat - lots of feminists and they're being kind. There's room for everyone and our issues.
stevencloser
Also some who are condescending, so...
Eddyrock
Most feminists I’ve met are pretty dismissive of male issues and men with problems.
Chimaeraxxxxx
I think this may be due to a lack of nuance in public arguments about it. See Emma Watson’s #heforshe speech
nibot43
When they are compared to women's issues. But male issues beget female issues. Raising men to be full humans helps women be full humans.
Herbaria
Anna it also helps women and men stay alive
yourqueenrat
I feel like there’s a lot of “surface feminist to be trendy” out there (coming from a female perspective and I’ve actually studied fem)
nangke
A lot of what's going around is feel-good feminism that isn't informed by much actual study
Eddyrock
That’s a fair point
kendrickmeadows1
Please expound on which issues they're dismissive of? I'm willing to engage in a good faith discussion on this.
talldrink413
Rephrase: most humans are dismissive.
stinkingyeti
I had a female therapist laught when i said i was emotionally abused by my ex
GrumpyOldMillennial
Men being victims of domestic violence. Men being raped by women. Men's mental health in its entirety. Men's role in relationships.
Picoshi
Also, like almost all divorces end up with dad having to live alone. In general only males have to go to army. Yet we don't get to whine.
angelfixer
Woman here. I’ve found this too. So many men and boys beaten and abused by violent women, but no support given
Someshithead241
Even examples of support being taken away. Like the man driven to suicide by being attacking him online for opening a male abuse shelter.
BBetts84
Y'all need some friends who have your back
BBetts84
It makes a difference, doesn't matter the gender, find some people who care about you for you
itsthevoiceman
Yup. Now, where do we get those?
BBetts84
Got most of mine in undergrad
itsthevoiceman
Ah, impossible for me. Fun.
NinjaHoff
...I'm not entirely sure feminism is going to help men with the majority of double standards and issues they face
springuy8
Yea I respect the good thought but I snorted out loud when I read it
ArgonSpark
I don't think you know what respect means...
PetiteWentz
You should really look into Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s caseload as the founder of the ACLU’s Women’s Rights project. Might change your mind.
JackalopeFromNeptune
Bro then you have no idea what it is.
kaitekarue
Feminism. At least in Previous iterations, was about equality and addressing the underlying sources of societal inequity. One of which 1/2
kaitekarue
Is emotional stagnation and societal pressures on men to be hyper aggressive robotic personalities that forces them to seek oppression 2/3
kaitekarue
As a means to self aggrandizment. Misery loves company. Honestly whaf is "feminism" now isnt feminist ideals at all.
NowDoThatVoodooThatYouDo
Those issues come from a skewed vision of masculinity, which is "the patriarchy" feminism aims to tear down. The idea that an individual is/
NowDoThatVoodooThatYouDo
the sum of their demographic parts doesn't come from feminism (or racial theory or queer theory, etc), it's the result of a civilization //
NowDoThatVoodooThatYouDo
discriminating against certain parties for the betterment of others. Intersectionality is analyzing how identity paradigms work in either///
NowDoThatVoodooThatYouDo
Conjunction with or opposition to each other. "Feminism" simply means the belief that people are equal, regardless of gender. That's it. ///
Taxicat
Consider the fact that genuine friendships, non-sexual affection between adults, empathy, even emotions other than anger have all >
Taxicat
>been strongly associated with femininity, which is then devalued and mocked as “weak” and “inferior” and something that men should >
Taxicat
>avoid being associated with at all costs, and you start to see why this is a feminist issue. As long as anything associated with >
Taxicat
>women is seen as inferior, men will desperately avoid associating with it even if it hurts them (or even kills them) in the process.
kendrickmeadows1
Please elaborate. I'm willing to engage in a good faith discussion on this.
Vojens
If I may in good faith ask how it helps men?
Chimaeraxxxxx
The idea is that the equality women are fighting for gives men as much as it gives women, because it sees us as equal, which means in 1/2
Chimaeraxxxxx
Addition to letting women be treated with respect in the workplace etc, it can tear down the cultural values that define what men can/‘t be
ikbeneengeit
Not OP but the philosophy of feminism is ready helpful for men's wellbeing (I am a man). Valuing men not because they're wealthy, strong, ..
ikbeneengeit
..or sacrificial, but because they are warm, nurturing, and longing for emotional connection to others. Like all humans. Removing...
ikbeneengeit
.. gender roles is a key theme of feminist PHILOSOPHY. But be warned, some PEOPLE calling themselves feminist do oppose sympathy for men.
NinjaHoff
The biggest thing that comes to mind is divorce custody cases being overwhelmingly in favor of the mother
Freemage69
A lie. In the modern US, fathers win the majority of custody cases in which they fight for custody. Unfortunately, a lot of men opt not 1/x
Freemage69
have anything to do wtih the kids if they no longer have the option to fssk the mom, leaving her to do all the work of child-rearing. 2/2
kendrickmeadows1
These laws come from the antiquated notion that men work and women stay at home and are broodmares. Feminism works to dismantle this.
kendrickmeadows1
Feminism also works to establish that men can be and are victims of domestic abuse, and should be able to get help for such.
notinitforthepoints
it's actually patriarchy that creates the double standards that only women can be mothers and therefore child has to stay with mom.
kendrickmeadows1
NinjaHoff
I'm not trying to attack women. That doesn't solve anything, I know. It was just one of the things that came to mind in terms of issues.
Taxicat
Except when you look up the actual data, they’re overwhelmingly NOT. The vast majority of custody cases are decided outside of court, >
Taxicat
>with BOTH sides agreeing to give the mother primary custody. Of the very few that require the courts to intervene, most fathers who >
grampybone
Was once shown a thread by a woman about Men VS Women relationship values. Had some good points! Then it dissolved into why men are bad. 1/
grampybone
By the end it was just one line repeated and bolded over and over again, with great excitement : WOMEN WANT A PARTNER MEN WANT AN OBJECT. 2/
grampybone
I understood the why of it. And I still felt sad when I asked about that bit and she just seemed confused why I didn't agree. 3/
MrBlueSands
The extent to which feminism is a political movement, and most contemporary politics embrace a very "Us Vs. Them" mentality, and as 1/?
MrBlueSands
feminism is most often expressed and recognized as a Women's Movement, it often becomes or presents a facile "Yay, gals! Boo, guys!" 2/?
MrBlueSands
sentiment that is tragically distant from the very needful feminist idea that greater gender equality, and questioning of traditional 3/?
ImWhompyWhomperson
Agreed...modern feminism atleast. it has morphed into this "girls rule, boys drool" narrative. Not super helpful to a mens' self esteem
TallDude
No. No it is not. But sadly that argument is used to fight against real feminist issues. Straw man.
legalisegaymarijuana
That's not the definition of "modern femininism" ?♀️
Someshithead241
Who gives a shit about definitions when you have actual examples of it happening? Oh that's right, people who use definitions to deflect
gnomedeplume
this misunderstanding of what feminism means is also why we need feminism
SerialChickenLover
That’s just throwing gasoline on the fire. Feminism needs a rebrand, if anything.
charontremble82
No, masculinity need a rebrand. This toxicity towards men is a self perpetuating cycle also aided and abetted by some women... 1/2
yourlocalgayfurry
That's not modern feminism, we call that radical feminism and i agree it's horrid. But modern regular feminism is good.
Itcanbedone
Well that's the problem in it self. Some rebranding needs to happen.
CommanderXirlos
Intersectional Feminism is the term you’re actually referring to.
Someshithead241
It may not be the "real" feminism, but its the one getting the most attention and making the most change, for the good and bad
alex5775
I only see it get attention on this site and it's always as a means to shit on feminism as a whole
kendrickmeadows1
I used to think this way. Then I learned to talk about my feelings. I'm willing to have a good faith discussion about this if you are.
ImWhompyWhomperson
How did learning to talk about your feelings change your view of modern feminism and its goals/narratives? I don't see the correlation
kendrickmeadows1
Modern feminism taught me that the nuclear family is a farce taught to children as the norm, when in fact there is no norm.
kendrickmeadows1
More importantly feminism taught me that feelings of inadequacy of being "masculine" don't come from women. They come from archaic views of
kendrickmeadows1
Feminism taught me that biological sex and gender identity are not linked and that men can be home keepers and women can be breadwinners.