Heard it here first.

Jan 1, 2018 10:23 PM

Views

189789

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3633

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299

She's right.

@astayoung

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Fuck teemo.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I've said it before but I really mean it this time: Teemo can suck my dick.

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 2

A lot of things stop mattering when you've got an A+ bod and an even better personality.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Give me some mushrooms and I will surely grow on you.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

First time I saw her at a Con was from behind. I was wondering why a 7 year old had the tomb Raider crop top and short shorts.

8 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Probably the same thing Teemo tells every girl he gets with. Accurate cosplay.

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 2

Dammit here I am trying to wean myself off of League of Legends then I see this and remember how much fun it is to annoy people with Teemo.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Damn she is so cute!!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I could go for a little sex right now

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Captain teemo reporting for booty

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

It's the proper proportions for her height that make it hot. Also the being hot

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Watch "Asta Young | Let's Talk About Sex" on YouTube https://youtu.be/Osc3M_2PCH0

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Unless you want to ride a rollercoaster

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Looks like she's fun size.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Closest you'll get to a Deadpool tiny handjob.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

*legally

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I would love to take her to my cave and have her mine for me.

8 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 6

Bitch, that's a Teemo! She's gonna build full AP and shove a 2,000 damage mushroom up your snatch!

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

Still cute

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sexy

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Need banna for scale...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

She so adorable! :)

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Fuckin' Teemo...

8 years ago | Likes 189 Dislikes 1

Literally.

8 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

And boom! 2/3 of your health gone

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

*Goes supp and just cheeses bot lane*

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Teemo (and Heimerdinger or Shaco) becoming World-Finals-viable is the one thing keeping me thinking "I may play LoL again someday"

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well teemo and the donger are very easily itemized against. And we are moving into a heavy tank meta. Just FYI

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

idgaf, cause I don't play anymore. Again, "I may play LoL again someday" - When Teemo and Heimy are a thing. The "donger" thing is stupid.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Let me kill you and your jungle and get away clean with 10% life. Then step on a FREAKING shroom when I go to recall.

8 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

And that's why I'm a Teemo main

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 9

How's bronze? I jest, I jest.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ah, so how's the weather from your throne in hell?

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Same here me and my buddy run Teemo and twitch in the bot lane....we arent liked. lol

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I have to bang a midget before I die

8 years ago | Likes 615 Dislikes 38

Never do it. Immortality.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 5

You should mate, your tool will look like a giant pipe in her hands

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Pass the 411 & any relevant info if you score before us

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I cosign this statement. *High five*

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

To a midget... every dick is a big dick.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 4

Looks like I'm gonna live forever.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Been there. It's ok. Good story.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

#writing_prompt

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Let me know if your new little person friend has a sister.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Shut up, Doctor Octopus.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Is there BEER in he'll?

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

A great read

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Always wondered what it would be like to have a midget girl go up on me...

8 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 5

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

A proportional midget.

8 years ago | Likes 46 Dislikes 5

homunculus?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Midget=a fairly regular proportioned human, just small. Dwarf=the bobblehead, wacky proportion type.

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 4

I think that's just called a child

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Very important

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Does a paraplegic count?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

No, that s a different item on the bucket list

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Step one: definitely don’t call them a midget. I think the preferred term is “little person”

8 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 8

A 5 year old is a little person. Midget is factually descriptive

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I think the real preferred term is their name.

8 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 1

4'10 counts as a midget right?

8 years ago | Likes 46 Dislikes 3

I thought it was 4'9" to qualify as idiopathic dwarf if not of a known genetic form.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It has nothing to do with height. It's about if you have the disease.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

The genetic condition is dwarfism. That makes you a dwarf. A midget is someone very short, usually defined as 4'10" or under

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yep! Went to college with a girl that was 4'10", she was able to get a handicap pass for the parking lot because she was a "midget"

8 years ago | Likes 48 Dislikes 0

Wth, I'm 4'7"..

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Well that's off my checklist then

8 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Ditto, plus she liked to be choked. It was awesome.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Go on...

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

She's taking about her size, your size definitely matters.

8 years ago | Likes 2240 Dislikes 26

but... maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

She never said it didn't matter though

8 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

Small hands make the junk look big.

8 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

Everything's proportional when she's tiny..

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#AllSizeMatter

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

I'm 6 foot, 4 inches. Those are two measurements.

8 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 2

classic

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I don't have to take that from fucking Teemo.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Truth, sad truth

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

My size would probably kill her. (Not really, but it wouldn't be fun for her, most likely.)

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

Well my size would be proportionately bigger, wouldn’t it, wiseguy?

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

when his height starts with 5'

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Trump hands

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's a tiny quarter

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wh.. What's the banana for?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Its a sort of scale to see how far you can stretch your asshole.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Looking for 6'3 or don't even talk to me!

8 years ago | Likes 512 Dislikes 10

I'm 6'3! Of course that two different measurements

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm six foot and three inches. Those are two different measurements.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Are those two separate measurements? Because if so, I'm in

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

"what's your size?" "What's your weight?"

8 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

"What's your social security number?"

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

"What's your mom's maiden name?" "What was the name of your first pet?" "Where'd you go to high school?" "Who was your favorite teacher?"

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

"By the way I'm not biased at all about Height or Weight, but I bet you have BEAUTIFULL fingerprints. And a Nice blood type."

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

She needs a ladder to give head. That'd be a fetish killer.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 3

You think someone like that would ever bother giving head?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You obviously don't know where penises are. Fun fact, they don't grow out of your forehead.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Have you never sat down in your life or what?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

She don't need a ladder to do fucking anything

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

Jesus, you've have to coil that shit up and wear it as a belt + whip Indiana jones style!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

6' or taller, no excuse, hit the gym!

8 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 1

you don't get taller by working out

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 25

Bicep girth?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Do a shitload of toe curls and you'll get like a half an inch taller.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

It’s a joke

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Its a reference to some tumblr post some chick made a while back or something.

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Also I’m 230 lbs and I work at McDonald’s

8 years ago | Likes 162 Dislikes 4

...as garbage disposal?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I also have a literal list in my room (At my parent's where I still live) of the qualifications for a guy to even CONSIDER dating me.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

6 figures, 6"6, 6 genders studies degrees, and 6 dogs?

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Any man who has taken 6 gender studies degrees and actually believed it would've sold himself into slavery then killed himself with a tampon

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Size doesn't matter if your head game is strong enough.

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 2

Fantastic because I have one ginoooormous head

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

So long as your tongue can reach the primer button you're good!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

As a gay man who can actually talk candidly with women about guys junk. They'll take a 2min sprinter over a hour marathon and average size.

8 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 41

Um, no we won't lmao. Maybe you do though.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Did you go the the special needs school for metaphors?

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Can you say that without the metaphor?

8 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 1

What am I supposed to understand from that. It's pretty cryptic

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

They might say so in candid talk. But for some women it actually hurts if the guy is too big. It's more important to have good techniques.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What?

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Im getting my duck sicked

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Did you make a typo? They’ll take a guy who finishes fast over a guy who can last a long time and has an average penis? That’s not correct.

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1

I think he meant to say they'll take an average guy who can last over a hung guy who blows immediately.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

I think it was the opposite, they prefer hung guys over guys that last

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

well, that's what I want to assume he said, but that's not at all what he said.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Of course, I'm just interpreting it to actually mean something.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I think im getting my duck sicked

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0