AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
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The story so far (for those not into greentext)
• Late October, the hacker known as 4chan describes his plot to mess with Republican douche Rick Wilson
• The hacker known as 4chan writes a pissplay fanfic, formats it (poorly) to look like an intelligence report, and e-mails it to Rick Wilson
• Less than a week later, vague tweets emerge from a few of Rick Wilson's friends about a 35-page dossier on Russian activity
• Media doesn't mention it again. The hackers known as 4chan figure it flamed out
• Today, Buzzfeed, Cosmopolitan, and other outlets published the pissplay fanfic (from "an unknown source) as news.
• The hacker known as 4chan suffers a cardiac arrest from overlols.
• I post it here because I love my fellow imgurian/ettes and this is funny AF
******************
This story has developed quite a bit in the last few hours, including a tracked progression of a mysterious 35-page report through different agencies. (In updates below)
The pdf is available online. And... it's scary. The formatting was better than the excerpts led me to believe. There is a very real chance that this "dossier" has heavily influenced both the intelligence community and the left-leaning media, on the promise that there was a smoking gun to be revealed in the future (that there was video).
I'm still laughing - but it's one of those 50/50 cheerful/nervous laughs. Okay, maybe 80/20 but I'm cynical as hell. Goodnight, imgur.
PastaNoose70
Pretty sure Trump loves golden showers. After all he's been pissing golden streams of lies on his supporters and they love him for it. Smh.
TeddyMoment
The mighty trustworthy journalistic empire buzzfeed has fallen.
Hoop66
Intel agencies had the report much earlier in the year, that much is in the public domain. So *this* is the trolling...
Terebravisse
"There's no remaining Trump scandal that's credible" -Nice try.
DadApproved
Yellow Journalism?
Fwords
So someone made up a lie about Trump and he's mad that people believe it? Boy if that isn't a perfect example of hypocrisy.
thevoiceofdolphins
"The person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals." - Agent K, MIB
RetConMan
They only put that "person is smart" part in there so people watching could think "yes I am the smart person"
nmgwynn
"a hacker known as 4chan"
KewlAlex
We must stop this hackerman 4chen
SchwiftySanchez
RetConMan
http://imgur.com/8fqU0o7
BraddockMIA
mx599
There is absolutely nothing left for the lying press.
mordaedil
If it didn't happen and is just a 4chan story, why is DTrump denying it so hard, while crying, on Twitter?
BaronVonMadScience
Nevermind that intelligence agencies had these reports back in August (see: before November), and Carl Bernstein himself verified them...
Hoop66
Facts can't help you here.
314isPie
I'm pretty sure I saw that in our German news today. Wow.
BaronVonMadScience
Don't trust OP, 5 minutes of research can prove he is wrong. Your news probably has it right. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aO6DYrTuEWc
fartharder
Pissing on people is news in Germany? Color me surprised.
TheDevilsJester
So what i've taken from this is that world war 3 is gonna be started by 4chan and we are all gonna be laughing when the nukes drop.
fartharder
Probably
theincredibledork
Its funny, but shit like this is going to make it so nobody believes it when there's a real scandal.
fartharder
That's the whole purpose of it.
BaronVonMadScience
You mean like the republicans being hacked by Russia? http://edition.cnn.com/2017/01/10/politics/comey-republicans-hacked-russia/index.html
Freakayou
Obligatory
RandoCalrizzian
I guess you could call this .... Yellow Journalism!
stormtroopr1977
i feel that if you replaced his face with putin's you would really strike gold
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
OMG who downvoted this? This is... GOLDEN.
StaleMeme
Who is this 4Chan?
SuperSaiyanBlueGoku
Oh honey...
aduntoridas
They are hackers on steroids, treating the web like a real life video game.
inaplasticcup
a wretched hive of scum and villany. Also the place that birthed the "alt-right" movement.
fartharder
AlmightyHamSandwich
Except the chain of events is all wrong and the released dossier is much, much bigger than one story.
BaronVonMadScience
Summary: https://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/5n8z88/megathread_intelligence_report_claims_russia_has/dc9lhlr/?st=ixsp6nn7&sh=ba4c28f3
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
The PDF is available, but it's scary to read and realize how much anti-trump momentum it generated behind the scenes regarding Russia.
residentolive
The PDF is dated 13 Dec 2016 (at the bottom). How does that line up with your timeline?
residentolive
intelligence regarding Russian interference for Trump is a lie? Or are you not claiming that? Can't tell. 2/2
residentolive
How does someone's fake report that 2-3 news sources (not very credible ones either) published TODAY lead you to conclude that all 1/2
PaintedSlate
I think you know the answer to that question.
DMGuy
...oooor, and stick with me here because this might confuse you, they might have more than one unsubstantiated "piss fanfic" to go off of.
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
Well, the media IS right that we should fear Russia, given their new mechanized infantry tech:
JHRD1880
OP seems like he's totally unbiased in all of this.
cuddlefishy
So what if its biased? Doesn't really change the facts.
JHRD1880
Facts ? He's making it out as if all media are running with this. Basically it's mostly Buzzfeed who even clearly say it's unsubstantiated.
cuddlefishy
CNN reported it as well from what I've heard.
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
#PISSGATE UPDATE: Julia Loffe of The Washington Post (left media) calls for journalists to speak out http://imgur.com/PXTe409
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
UPDATE #2: This thing has made the effing ROUNDS. WOWZA. http://imgur.com/ZTf67MF
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
#3 Part 2: http://imgur.com/7JBnYJ9 --- While yes, that is a picture of a closed passport, this is an easily verified statement.
Helgonet
No. If entering the country on the ground he will NOT get a stamp.
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
#3 Part 3: Alright, at this point, you guys and gals know what's up. I'll post future "updates" if I encounter anything hilarious. TTFN
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
UPDATE #3: Michael Cohen, the attorney alleged in the fanfic to have been in Prague, claims never having been to Prague in his life. ->
revcleo
do you know about schengen?
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
UPDATE #4: Evidence (not proof) of the fanfic's travels through government
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
UPDATE #5: The report, allegedly. https://assets.documentcloud.org/documents/3259984/Trump-Intelligence-Allegations.pdf
TheHourGrowsLate
Stop muddying the waters with this 4chan bullshit. This is an investigation that McCain started, and the CIA is involved in.
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
John McCain.... Piss Investigator. *70s theme music, zoom in* Stop right there! *mute music for catchphrase* Urine trouble now!
TheHourGrowsLate
I'm glad that you're focusing on the piss, and not the part where Russia is blackmailing the president elect.
LuftMeister
Yeah how about you settle down, if it's trending on buzzfeed and other cancerous, shitty sources like that it's not confirmed real.
BaronVonMadScience
Yeah, its not like Carl Bernstein, the guy who broke Watergate has verified the sources for it or anything. Just another shill, amirite?
Seanspeed
Like CNN? Oh wait, yea I forgot, that is now a 'liberal fake news site' according to what your master Trump told you
LuftMeister
I use BBC and voted for Gary...
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
It's funny how much fake shit you'll make up to justify the fake shit you already believe.
bongobongobongosohappyinthecongo
I'm going to have to go with the classic, expected gif:
ashipthatshipsshippingships
How is it possible to hate a gif so much, and love it at the same time?
Anon7091
Whoever 4chan is, he has too much power to be on the internet. Please ban him.
bongobongobongosohappyinthecongo
There's no point; he's a crafty one. He'll just hack the ban...
Azaldi
Oh no no no
bongobongobongosohappyinthecongo
Bingo bango bongo I'm so happy in the jungle I refuse to go!
Azaldi
Don't want no bright lights, false teeth, doorbells, landlords I make it clear!
TheComradeStalin
Tasteful classic, finely aged.
CatBlaster5000
Still with enough pixels to view. mmmmmmmm
basketdragger
And yet none of those words describe her lol
CatBlaster5000
Still with enough pixels to view. mmmmmmmm
CatBlaster5000
Still with enough pixels to view. mmmmmmmm
bongobongobongosohappyinthecongo
I like the way that you posted that three times. You get three upvotes.
CatBlaster5000
These damn servers. Well, I guess it worked out for the better that time
lnsaneWolf
I'm gonna need more source than an imgur post
thatmaninblack
It has still more source than the CNN and Buzzfeed had. As they wrote (unverified news sources). :D
NOINOON
There is an actual investigation and a report and OP confused news about that with whatever the pissgate is. So OP is really just as >>
NOINOON
>> trigger happy to believe anything as the media in OP's imagination is.
NOINOON
I mean yes "the media" does often publish unverifiable shit but this is not one of those times.
residentolive
Or maybe, just maybe (if any of these screenshots are even real), CIA's evidence of compromising information is not from 4chan's fake report
BaronVonMadScience
The report released contains 35 pages of stuff like communication between Russian officials and Republicans. 'Pissgate' is the distraction.
BaronVonMadScience
https://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/5n8z88/megathread_intelligence_report_claims_russia_has/dc9lhlr/?st=ixsp6nn7&sh=ba4c28f3
JoeBobBriggs
Ive read the report its on Buzzfeeds website. Full of spelling and gramatical errors its in the wrong format and it refers to Football as
JoeBobBriggs
Soccer. No Brit would every call Football Soccer its fake as hell man.
residentolive
is in a highly classified government document? Because as they say on the internet, tits or GTFO
residentolive
Like, are you really saying that the exact text from a fake report, that you can actually prove was posted online X months ago by a 4channer
SPECTREagent
You think you're so smart for not believing what the mainstream media tells you but instead you're believing what 4chan tells you.
RepostFromLastWeek
Main stream media has financial motive to lie to you.
nachomanrandysandwich
How is this downvoted? The majority of mainstream media is owned by 5 men who are buissness moguls.
NOINOON
Buzzfeed amd Cosmo have been mentioned. Any real news sources?
69tigers
CNN originally reported on an intelligence briefing on the contents of the dossier to Obama and Trump. Buzzfeed fucked up, but it's buzzfeed
ikma
CNN was the first to break the story. BuzzFeed published the actual report. The 4chan stuff is a lie.
TankEngineer
Yes
TuggSpeedmann
Actually this is what journalism is supposed to be. Dig your way to the bottom of the story
Sm9yCg
I thought the last /Journalist/ went extinct long ago. At lease in the mainstream media.
Rambo006
Actually, journalists are supposed to do the digging first, then decide what to publish as news. This is not journalism, but trolling.
RepostFromLastWeek
Main stream media has financial motive to lie to you.
maniacalmacaroni
They also have a financial motivation to NOT destroy their own reputation by spreading unverified fake news like Facebook 'news' blogs.
nachomanrandysandwich
They do news stories about Trump eating KFC with a fork... Their reputation is already crap
ineedausernamerightmeow
"financial motive to lie to you". how perfectly you have phrased Trump's political career
maniacalmacaroni
This is the most perfect summary of the tin-foil hat social media user I've heard yet. Complete distrust for companies that have 100s of
maniacalmacaroni
Employees dedicated to sourcing and fact-checking while believing, embellishing and spreading news memes and basement blogs like gospel.
nachomanrandysandwich
I'll use the gulf of Tonkin incident to disprove that
nachomanrandysandwich
They fired Phil Donahue for being critical of the Iraq war, hmm I wonder why maybe because war is profitable for corporations like Lockheed
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
Feel better - lots of journalists turned it down, some investigated and declared it unverifiable. My respect for the Washington post went up
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
2) a bit. Not enough to trust MSM about anything, but a bit.
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
2nd to last pic. Date check it. Do you really need to be told by a media outlet that November 2016 comes before January 2017?
residentolive
But the PDF buzzfeed posted is dated 13 December 2016 https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/3259984-Trump-Intelligence-Allegations.html
Keru
Hate to break it to you, but the info about golden showers at the ritz came out in august last year. Trumps a pissbaby.
Keru
In case anyone wants to downvote, here's the Rick Wilson https://medium.com/@therickwilson/fool-chan-e97fba24384f#.qcw40pl8p
Seanspeed
That doesn't change anything except they were trying to take credit for this when it was initially reported on. Dont underestimate Trumpers
thatlamer
Good point, there's nothing more conclusive than a screenshot on the internet.
thatlamer
Woops, sharex's editor completely butchered the quality when I cropped it. Here's a png.
CanIPleaseSkiAlready
do you want an archive or something? I can get that
thatlamer
Can find it on my own. It's literally meaningless, though. A third party archive with no accountability, with vague anonymous [1/3]
barrocoyote
Seems like there's a lot of info that this post doesn't address at the moment. I'll wait a few days to make judgement.
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
The play by play is too massive to port over. Hopefully this gets folks stirred up into checking out details as they unravel.
BaronVonMadScience
Go check the reddit thread for it. 50x more info there. OP is a troll pushing a fake story made by /pol/ and t_d.
BaronVonMadScience
No replies? Not surprised. https://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/5n8z88/megathread_intelligence_report_claims_russia_has/dc9r9ht/
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
2) Just checked out the reddit megathread. It's 2 hours behind /pol/ and with 1/10 the links to old material. Men.
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
*meh (I love autocorrect but I never get really good ones)
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
4plebs is an archive site. Just tossing that out there.
BaronVonMadScience
Why does that matter at all? The dossier was made before that troll comment and Carl Bernstein (of Watergate) verified the sources of it.
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
Lol. Link? (Also, read the pdf. You'll die laughing.)
BaronVonMadScience
He wrote the CNN article, for starters. http://edition.cnn.com/2017/01/10/politics/donald-trump-intelligence-report-russia/
ashipthatshipsshippingships
I'm a commoner, and I'm having a hard time following this. Is 4chan suggesting that the most recent intel is completely fabricated?
richardson1701
They are, and they're lying and have every single fact of how the dossier came to the intelligence community wrong.
JoeBobBriggs
They should have known when a British intelligence officer couldn't spell and called Football Soccer. Read the report and laugh.
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
Not exactly. A guy on pol published the pissplay fanfic and his plans back in late October. It apparently circulated until today. So, not
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
2) suggesting, so much as "holy shit. They published a 4channer's pissplay fanfic as a news story."
ActuallyJabbaTheHutt
The /pol/ board on 4chan made it up for the lulz and it got picked up by the media as legitimate
NOINOON
You fuckers need to decide whether Buzzfeed is real media or cum guzzling hacks. You can't flip flop depending on your POV of a subject.
hughesybooze
The thing is, you could say that about almost any non-independent media source nowadays.
ruferto
but.. the bullet points spell out exactly what happened
ashipthatshipsshippingships
Bullet points were a recent addition by the time you commented.
ruferto
oh
Seanspeed
They are Trump supporters trying to deflect and 'take blame' for this so as to try and hurt the credibility of the report.
LetMePointOut
Your evidence?
Seanspeed
You're kidding, right? lol The report has been confirmed to have come from ex MI6 agent who specializes in Russian intel for a while now.
Seanspeed
In fact, my comment was 100% spot-on before this was even confirmed. It was pretty obvious.
Seanspeed
What's even more hilarious is that the guy was originally hired by *Republicans* back during the Rep primaries.
RandoCalrizzian
As the Brits say, "I think they're taking the piss mate."
fatrustyfarts
But what do the Australians say?
RandoCalrizzian
They'd probably shout "CUNT!" really loudly.
sissichu
Lindemann - Golden Shower
Cyborgbird
I can't understand it too well either, but I think the 4chan users made fake news for the lulz and CNN thought it was real.
BaronVonMadScience
Actually, the "4chan made it up" stuff is fake. Just another attempt to discredit real events. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aO6DYrTuEWc
mithiwithi
Or at least so they claim. They could be fucking with us now instead.
Cyborgbird
Yeah. You can never read those people...
IDownvoteYourShit
Timestamps on the posts provides date the start of this back to last November. Anon sent an utter lie in and the "news" is running it. lulz.
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
The real report was from October, though. Not November
SirPelvisJohnwood
Oh shit, timestamps? As in pictures of numbers? That's like 200% unforgeable.
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
So Buzzfeed and Cosmo are CNN now? When did that happen? Also, the real report was from October. Not November, which is when this was posted
69tigers
The dossier had been circulating since August I believe, but nobody wanted to touch it
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
Do we know when the 4Chan "dossier" was made?
69tigers
I think it's more likely that 4Chan is lying about this now. Anyways, if it's a real dossier, it had to have been in the making for a while
69tigers
Regardless, I don't think buzzfeed should have published it. It's totally unverified, and to report on the dossier is irresponsible imo