LSDHHS
137219
2932
162
Jul 6, 2017 3:39 PM
LSDHHS
137219
2932
162
ohnoitsbarbo
haha I remember sleepovers with my uncle too
LowKeyTroll
It's a trap! She is TICKED about something and doesn't want to wait until morning to destroy your life over it.
Aubanis
tonyjarrets
That may be the cleanest microwave I've seen on here
JustBarelyTrolling
Poisoned chicken. Nice!
Iskyandar
That is not a dick and if you were to suck that, remember it is a choking hazard!
justsignedupforthishit
I don't believe you. Of course, I am very bitter. My ex refused.
cksigma
Must still be in the early stages of the relationship....
ProbablyAtWork
LOL the comments
IIIHalezIII
i mean! my goodness.. lmao..
RecoveringIntrovert
My wife would do this. shit she asked me if I wanted a bj on more than one occasion while playing ps4.
CaptainAnus
My girlfriend does that, the game usually goes down hill pretty fast though.
Isaypoopythingsbecausemostofyouannoyme
-Mom
vonKaiser
"Nice" - Oedipus
Kassimila
That level of CRAZY must be off the scale.
DaedelusMuse
@sureasyourebornyourenevergoingtoseenounicorn
sureasyourebornyourenevergoingtoseenounicorn
freekingeekinrocketdockket
Spicy wings + BJ = pain
Tilted9000
Plot twist: those are covered in Carolina reaper peppers.
BroadFjord
Revenge: Reciprocate oral sex
baturro
Awww Ma!
DigitalWaffle
Wife her!
Lysergian
Do not! Wait a bit at least... This is wedding ring bait, alas once you are caught there is little need for bait.
rockjock29
Now the question , which to do first. Heat up the chicken wings or wake up the writer of that note...
TimothyVonShaft
I don't think chicken wings can write notes, I could be wrong, I'm no anthropologist.
TearingAway
anthro minor here....uncertain also.
TimothyVonShaft
Well at least we are going in the right direction to get the answers.
imaginaryupvote
And just like unicorns, this isn't real
mynameiselliott
Jealousy is ugly
ittybittywitty
You mean envious....
imaginaryupvote
http://i64.tinypic.com/35lbxqr.jpg
kempper
lol I love that people think this is bullshit
BroadFjord
Yeahh kinda sad, but that's imgur fer ya
Frogapus
This is the kind of girlfriend I aspire to be.
TastelessBuildABear
carpebass
that what optimistic blacked out drunk me always writes.
cas86
Plot twist: OP visited his parent's house and found the note
Nayruspuppy
I'd honestly be happy to find out that my parents still have a healthy sex life. Good for them!
Error404TrollNotFound
Well my dad's dead so, define "healthy"
Nayruspuppy
Hey, don't kink shame. (But seriously that sucks, my condolences)
BeaverHunter
You mean, don't shame kink*
Nayruspuppy
I mean, they literally mean the same thing, so...
BobbityRoss
I'm gonna guess you started dating about a week ago.
BukkakeRider3000
Later it's just "Wank in a glass so I'll drink it tomorrow when I wake up".
JerkStoreCalling
Haha this made me laugh the most.
jsktrogdor
What the world needs now is more women who find pleasure in giving blowjobs.
darkdragonempress
You gotta make it fun for her then.
jsktrogdor
How exactly am I supposed to do that? Draw a little game of tic-tack-toe over my dick?
darkdragonempress
That's one way. Also ask what things she might like while going down on you. Sounds may do it, or touching her as well.
jsktrogdor
You seem to have missed my meaning. Some people find the act of giving oral sex arousing. More people should, is what I'm saying.
darkdragonempress
That's kinda stupid. What you find arousing isn't really a choice. If it's that important find a person like that.
yeldarb92
Does dead chicken give good dome?
s0bere
That one got me
RecompostedSapiens
No, but ghost chicken does. This is some voodoo shit if I've ever seen it.
yeldarb92
Oh boy
j84johnson
Up voting for "dome".
yeldarb92
Yeah...
travelintimeinc
No that's why it's dead.
crushingbore
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgnh1zg7ULI
xr1ssc0ttm
" No sir I didn't see you playing with your dolls again."
HungryPumpkn
Dimma-don't get me started.
BadWolf78
Nah, but chicken heads do
sharkwhistle29
Said no woman ever
CaptainAnus
My girlfriend of 4 years does this kind of thing, too be fair I don't think she's normal.. I might have her tested.
mynameiselliott
To you
2the9s
Burn!!!
sharkwhistle29
Yup I'll give you a burn up vote.
MaplePhoenix
"Bob, you're a great roommate and all that...and I appreciate the chicken wings...but this has to stop"
notquitebilbobaggins
Genbuthesaint
http://imgur.com/HRzyApv
Kerbrary
Omg I'm sitting at a bar by myself, read this comment and spit my drink all over the guy sitting next to me haha.
GoldblumNoises
Now show him Imgur. Get him hooked. We needs more organs.. I MEAN.. funny comments
LSDHHS
????????????????
Znayx
Yeah don't use emojis on Imgur, it comes out only as question marks. Then people think you're just oblivious and downvote you.
Thekindofkindlyman
Oh I was wondering why the confusion but that makes sense now
Znayx
I'm always on the lookout for it now. Seems others don't know about it yet.
PlatypusPowersActivate
rabaal
It's not gay. He's sucking my dick.
reid2048
"Bob, you're very lovely in my ex-wife's red dress, but it's not the same. I know we've tried this a couple times, but it's not working."
DefenderOfDog
"I'm in a diet Bob but great job with the slob on the nob tho"
TyrionLannisterTheImp
We're flying to close to the sun, Bob.
cntdn
A blow job is a blow job is a blow job.
Discoduck
Just gotta get off on how much they are getting off, and enjoy the fact that it's all about your pleasure. - a once-closeted gay man
manslut
I love when his beard hair rubs against my balls.
CorneliusCornwall
If I'm paying half the rent and my fair share of utilities you get I'm gonna cross some boundries
alsoAzrael
Dammit Bob, some boundaries shouldn't be crossed, no matter how delicious your burgers are!
CorneliusCornwall
*presses finger directly onto your lips* shh shh shh. Boundaries are for cartographers to worry about.
IRatetits
Fuck dude, that's a great line
alsoAzrael
Mmph! Mmm mmmph!
GenghisJohn2010
plot twist. OP wrote it to himself through his tears as he put the chicken in the microwave.
ChampagneSupernova
Leroy Jenkins: Life after fame.
TheForbiddenBagel
Penmanship is too nice idk about this one man
ComradeNinjaCow
beezzarro
Writing is too good to be a man's script. So maybe OP is fooling us into thinking they have a BF
Charcharm
Obligatory "Still a better love story than "Twilight".
inspiringandfunnyusernamecoolheh
But then he cheers himself up, because those yoga lessons got his flexibility up to the max.
MemusSupremus
What a twist!
BeaverHunter
And he had a rib removed...
Momentaryclarity
BurningChaotic
Nize426
Wow. This is glorious. I'm surprised this is the first time I've ran across this.
LSDHHS
Who wants cold chicken
NotAHugeSpider
Hot hen & hot cock is a helluva combo meal.
MfxBloodxBath
That dick
wheresthebaby
Someone who beat his chicken to sleep
Dixinmass
Be careful, some people catch hands for giving out cold chicken.
MmmCookiePoops
Its more believable and immersive that way.
PervertedWizard
Me
nopenononope
Personally, I like my wings extra crispy, so if I'm not reheating in the oven or in a pan, I'm eating those wings cold.
TheBlackVan
ExtwaCwispy.jpeg