talleyman
1149751
6339
53
You catch my drift Bitch?
Slide on thru to the other side
Dusty Road
Closest call, should have ran the other way
worst girl throw ever
Luckiest bastard ever
Looks Scary ! Is it real or fake ?
Omnomnipotent
I was pooping while watching these and I've never prarie dogged more in my life.
lawlysmoke
HOLY SHIT THE WHALE ONE. I AM NEVER TOUCHING WATER AGAIN
katie3721
So many unanswered questions. Why is that guy sledding across a road, why is he carrying tires, why are people so dumb??
MisterBuzzKillington
my wrinkle star has never been so tight in my life
stutteringbob
Now your inbox is going to pucker up after saying that :)
gcninja
Your calamari ring?
MisterBuzzKillington
hahahaha thats a good one too
Crawley
+1 for "wrinkle star"
figment128
Seconded. +1
g00dvibes
And this, imgurians, is why we don't go outside
stutteringbob
Or swim. Apparently there is a slight risk of being swallowed by a whale. I don't mean that in a good way either.
PhDPool
Oop, dropped my tire
muskoxmuskets
*indignantly walks back for his tire*
grittygrainygoggles
Thank you!
ChihuahuaWithChips
TooRussianToFunction
[deleted]
[deleted]
scotchtapeportraits
*tire
tacticalnuclearpenguin
AMERICA!
AdventureTimeLord
All I can think is: "Bring me my brown pants"
DogPenguin
the third image made me think of Tremors
TheFlyingHellfish
Or Sandworms from Beetlejuice and/or Dune. But I think it's an IED.
IKnowTheGuacIsExtra
ME TOO!
TheFreshmakerPHd
Im sorry, but theres no place for ignorance of railroad crossings. Lucky, sure... but Darwin is cursing them for escaping.
soob
I didn't realise he was such a sadist
Fivestarthedangeresque
As a Marine with hundreds of convoys under his belt, the third one scares me the most.
Froogey
What was that?
tba832
IED one
OhManIHopeIDontGetOneOfThoseLongUsernames
It looked like it was buried pretty deep though. I don't know anything about it but it doesn't seem like it's as effective??
ComradeSillyOtter
Next one might not be buried so deep.
GrampaJack
Had it detonated at the right time it would have worked.
Zephronias
DragonKitty
thats a commanding officer for ya :) funny thing is some idiot did this during live ammo training at my brothers base.... nearly killed ppl
impedimenta
But... but... but that doesn't sound funny at all.
DragonKitty
Ironically, horrifyingly funny in a "it's not actually funny but must laugh to hide my fear" kinda funny
impedimenta
Yes, I know what you mean. I have those kind of stories and the same defense mechanism. I prefer to laugh at them, too.
TarderSauce
Frogger level expert.
GoCougsGoHawks
Not a fan of people who don't switch lanes for police officers...not a fan...
NooneintheVerse
Neither am I, but, in high traffic areas (as that one seems to be), sometimes it's not possible. Driver should've slowed down some, though.
GrampaJack
It's now the law in Florida.
fallencomrade
I almost tore a muscle looking at some of these.
idontknowwhoiamanymoreandilikeitthatway
Good thing I don't have heart problems...
biggwoods
A few of those people didn't even notice it. I wonder how many times I have almost died with out realizing it.
sneVis
Are you sure you want to know? Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
MrBayernMunchen
Someone, Anyone make a NOPE gif from the helicopter gif. Please?
wolfgang1107
By butthole clenched so hard it could trim cigars.
NotMentallyInsane
That is an interesting thought. One I could have gone without, but interesting nonetheless.
gawdeenie
This is how we exercise, fear induced muscle spasms
nonotthisagain
To the top of the comments, gawdeenie!
MayonnaiseAndVodka
I'm almost positive a man lost his legs in the dump truck dirt rally thing.
CaptainHanderpants
Can this be a new sport? Dump truck off-road rally.
Sinkronized
dump truck rallying should be a thing
TheNamesTalcJamesTalcSpecialAntiCakedayAgent
I second this. You can barely see the truck nudge him, but it definitely happens. Maybe unharmed still, but the contact was there.
DiedAndHauntingImgur
It actually looks like the truck does actually land on his legs, you see him pitch forward and face plant (just before the dirt cloud)
TheNamesTalcJamesTalcSpecialAntiCakedayAgent
I don't think the truck has actually landed at that point though. Maybe it did.
MountainDewMe
Thirds
Vorengard
At least one of them must have been crushed, it definitely hit him
iamireland
It seemed to graze him and push him aside but looked strangely gentle.
TheDickofDestiny
One question though: WHY did he run THAT WAY??!
Mawkishly
From another time this was posted, stuntman ran the wrong direction for a scene
Caremono
yes! he should have stay still...
PleaseInsertSophomoricGenitaliaRefereneHere
Being faced in that direction, I think the "O fuck get outta here" instinct kicked in and he just booked it in the most natural direction.
OlderBro
I think this was a scene for a movie.
releasetheboobs
That's what I was thinking too!
iloveithowimgurallowsyoutohaveincrediblylongusernames
Why the fuck did he run into the truck he was already clear!
esgedi
It cleared him.
Balthor
Sorry but I would call that anything but conclusive.
everyonesFavoriteNazi
This was on tv a while ago, he tripped and broke his ankle, but the truck cleared him.
Abso
I think he fell at just the right time because you see the wheels actually clear him before you lose sight of his legs.
evanessism
Yeah that's what I see too.
MayonnaiseAndVodka
Funny thing about dirt though, it's not too stable. It definitely collapsed. What about the back wheels? Or just the frame?
Orsi
If you watch the one with the police officer closely I'm pretty sure his arm gets wrecked by that car.
kansas555
That's why move over laws exist now.
maetryx
I believe he was struck by the trucks' mirror. I think I saw it on TV a long time ago.
Yourethemannowdawwwwg
The falling rock one, HOLY SHIT!
SuddenlySeymour
that was Taiwan, a few months ago. there's a longer video on youtube, you can see the rock start to fall from the hilltop. too much rain...
IcepickTrotsky
Welcome to Choco Mountain.
eldorel
That's not even a close call, the driver was pretty badly injured, and the mud hit that car hard enough to total it.
Rivalyn
That last one is a host of fish going "RUN AWAY!"
argo12
yeah, the whales round them up and come up with gaping maws. Pretty cool.
Crawley
Oh look, krill!
MrAsianGuy90
Title: a collection of butt-hole puckering
NoFuckingClue
Mine imploded...
Geogon
Watching each one of these gifs count as 10 kegels each right?
OfficialJesusChristJr
Anus clenched so much it replaced my esophageal sphincter
believeland
Puckering so quickly it whistles
LetMeGramSchmidtOnYourChest
*collection of people being fucking idiots and almost dying on camera
Abominor
Actually, a lot of the people depicted were innocent bystanders.
LetMeGramSchmidtOnYourChest
what i meant to say was: the people who were causing the close calls were the idiots, which happened to almost kill a bunch of people
BuskyChowChow
Mine could have clipped a fine cuban cigar
Abominor
Did not pucker butthole, for it was initially revealed that they were all merely close calls.
SusanGoGetMyPants
Look at what you have started! :P
MrAsianGuy90
I know! This is the most points I've ever gotten!
Ruik
My ass is so tight it whistles when I sneeze.
dereklarsen
About 3 gifs down my poo turned to diamonds.
sitnsurf
Cramp inducing clinch!
caguilar8899
Omg, perfect!!!
OrionRed
/r/buttholepucker
MrAsianGuy90
I'm afraid...
phaedrus2129
We've got a real cigar clipper here, folks.
TheFourthPhalange
Does anyone know where one can get a sphincter replacement?
MrAsianGuy90
Blew an O-ring!
AhCanFlyAhmAPilot
Is that a reference to the challenger explosion? Cuz if so, I think we're going to be friends.
MrAsianGuy90
I was referring to a paintball gun Co2 ring lol sorry >.<
AhCanFlyAhmAPilot
.....we can still be friends if you want....
geeksneedlovetoo
As a man these go beyond a puckering butt-hole and into testicle shriveling territory.
Jackfelldown64
Butthole puckerd so hard it took a bite out of my underwear.
astamurti
Not sure the fourth one from the bottom is real. Cars look a bit funky and the camerawork is too good.
pencilv3ster
I couldn't stop watching it. I kept saying, "this is better than a fucking movie.." I'm glad y'all put it to rest.
takerhbk
Yes its a fake. The car even explodes after it.
VerbalSpaghetti
ItzYizuz
because it is fake... look at the shadows and both cars have no physics.
VerbalSpaghetti
... yeah, i don't believe it is real. just saying it looks it.
Twig1
Was thinking the same thing. Thought that it might have been from a movie or something.
swaak
Totally agree.
andthentheresthatguy
It's obviously fake
VerbalSpaghetti
yea
ShineyAndChrome
the people who almost get hit by trains are just idiots reason 1. bar saying, drive thru and die 2. blinking red lights 3. DING DING DING!
Mabalzrkold
What if they were blind and deaf?
ShineyAndChrome
then they wouldn't be on a bike or driving a car
LessThanHumbleScott
3% of Canadian railroad victims are from mechanical failure according to StatsCan.
MycurlyhairsaysIcantgoouttoday
Train wreck in my town on Christmas because the bar/lights didn't work. So even without all that, DON'T STOP ON THE FUCKING TRACKS.
OhManIHopeIDontGetOneOfThoseLongUsernames
I just dont get it, I ALWAYS check before I cross, even if it has bars/lights. I almost feel ppl deserve to get hit. Its a FUCKING TRAIN!
RiotSwitch
3. a fox saying get out of the way " DING DING DING DING"
WilliamForsythe
But I'm illiterate and deaf!
shutyouruglyface
Not all crossing have those. Like the one a very smart girl at my school got hit at. It was also snowy and she tried to stop anyway
walterpeck
I wouldn't have felt the least bit bad if they had died.
Necropants
I saw the immediate aftermath of a car vs train accident. It was not pretty. I don't understand why people try to beat trains.
iLoveItWhenMyFingersSmellLikePussy
BECAUSE THEY ARE IN A HURRY! JEEZ, Y DONT U UNDERSTAAAAND
karlthatkillspeople
as a driver, you are ALWAYS supposed to look. If the bars or lights aren't working and you get hit by a train, sorry buddy. you're an idiot
OhManIHopeIDontGetOneOfThoseLongUsernames
I can't agree more. People think I'm stupid for stopping/slowing at crossings with lights/bar. I especially do this on my motorcycle!
iliterallyjustevened
Honestly. Of all the close calls, the train ones turn my stomach the most. HOW DUMB ARE YOU?
xantoxu
As somebody who was in that situation, sometimes you're deaf, past the signs and there's still traffic on the other side. TERRIFYING, FYI.
malakim
Thats why you never drive onto an intersection of any kind when there still is traffic on the other side and you cannot fit.
xantoxu
Well yeah, but there was valid reason to be on the tracks, assuming there was no train.
malakim
Nope, if you cannot make it all the way across the intersection/train tracks, do not start to cross at all. Stop before them
xantoxu
And if that's what somebody happens to do, before a stupid driver on the other side doesn't follow rules? IDK. Just sayin'.
datcord
100% to this. Anyone who gets hit by a train pretty much deserves it. It's not like they're sneaking through jungle undergrowth at you.
AncientIdris
The tracks closest to my house have no lights, no bars, nothing. All you get is a train air horn, when and if they remember to hit it.
Kyotakeda
One way to prove your argument is to post the street, city, and country this is happening in. Just saying
datcord
Solution: Make notes on locomotive #'s, direction, and time. There should be a crossing # listed near the crossing. Report them.
AncientIdris
No sarcasm ~ Never really thought to. It's way out in the middle of nowhere. They go pretty slow (not like in the gifs above) as well.
datcord
100% serious: Please do. I work with trains and safety rules like that are in place for a reason. Not following them is what kills people.
karlthatkillspeople
bicycle rider has bars that came down that they had to avoid and the car stops in the middle of the tracks.
AncientIdris
Aye, but my comment was about the ones where I live, not about the ones on there. Was just to point out that not *all* tracks have them.
karlthatkillspeople
and a good point indeed. let's start a petition to make all tracks safer? I have little to no expertise, but we could totally build them
OhManIHopeIDontGetOneOfThoseLongUsernames
Near my house it NEVER forgets, I hate it so much. We have to pause conversations its so loud. Didn't know it was there when I got the house
OhManIHopeIDontGetOneOfThoseLongUsernames
Each time we went to check out the house it never went by, so out of sight out of mind. Never again will I live near a crossing.
FireFlames
That's why you're suppose to look before crossing. My dad got hit by a train, no lights or bars like the one near your house . . . (1/2)
FireFlames
. . He always reminds to look both ways when we cross that exact one to go to Grandma's house. Please always look both ways. :D
Hannya
They're probably tracks you're not supposed to walk over in the first place...
AncientIdris
They cross one of the main roads. I'm not sure where else we're supposed to drive, it's pretty much the only way out of our end of town...
thisismyusernameguys
So do people treat it like a Stop or Yield sign? Or just go right through and hope for the best?
GreedyJungle
It's required for the engineer to blow the horn at least 3 times before any railroad crossing...
AncientIdris
Just because it's required doesn't mean they actually DO it. In the day they usually do, but I rarely hear it at night, even when you 1/2
AncientIdris
can actually hear the train going past. It's stupid but it's just how they are here (middle of nowhere GA).
FabulouslyTiti
OttoParts
That last one too. Except for the water.
Mithi
But, but, there were no wormsigns, Usul!
justgoingtowingitwithmyusername
Deep bury IED
woozle
should have used a thumper.
theevilm
Alaskan Bull Worm
Morrigi
Insurgents cannot into explosives. They buried it too deep and it detonated early as well.
GrampaJack
Morons. Carpetbomb the whole place and call it a day.
Ninjahawk
Its a tremor. We need Kevin Bacon!
impedimenta
I like.... graboids!
gawdeenie
Mongolian death worm
Joshmosis
It is. They forgot to set down their thumper.
ROBOT120807
Fucking Nydus worms.
Entropik
That's what I was thinking the whale looked like.
YoSoyMelonLord
Earth benders
NovaAtreides
http://imgur.com/ph9k7os
FabulouslyTiti
+9001 for relevant username. 8D
NovaAtreides
Its slightly over 9000!!!!
AdiosToreadork
That is a roadside bomb.
fiendishkitty
Was it paved over or what?
AdiosToreadork
Buried under the pavement.
mobiusplane
That 3rd one O.o Respect to the service men that face a life time of fear and anxiety about IED's while driving on native soil after the war
dpash
It looks like something out of tremors. The tarmac is being lifted up, so something was under the road. Looks too slow to be a bomb.
ashleigha894
And that right there is why PTSD is so common.
HommeDeBois
Yup. Right here on that one.
dpash
It looks like something out of tremors. The tarmac is being lifted up, so something was under the road. Looks too slow to be a bomb.
WellFuckMyOzone
Definitely a bomb. Look up deep-dig IED
Morrigi
They buried it too deeply. Ideally, that part of the road surface would be pretty much vaporized.
noch1999
Wow, I never thought in my life I would see someone throw the pin and drop the grenade . . . wow wow wow . . . Darwin award on line one ...
titan35
In Army Basic training, this happens every now and then. But we're usually in a fox hole.
Kidnasty619
Bitch got tossed in that trench!
kahless01
It happens all the time. Been around military bases all the time. that's exactly why they have people watching.
TheMilkisMan
That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.
kevlarkate
I was wondering what happened there
Laitka
another example of why woman should not be in combat
Feenix54
You throw like a girl!
[deleted]
[deleted]
CallsignBacon
No she didnt throw it far enough
3Froggy5
Much dumb.... She was thrown farther than the grenade!!!
walterpeck
It's a training grenade, but still.
HarryBlackstoneCopperfieldDresden
Lol, no, it was definitely a live grenade. Training grenades, for anyone who has actually trained with them, are more like firecrackers.
HatsAreEssential
Dummy grenades don't explode and terrify your instructors when you misuse them...
tabolario
Definitely a live grenade.
smeegasaurusrex
She got her ass thrown in that fox hole like a rag doll too
collinoscopy
That guy put her life before his, true sign of a hero
ImJustHereSoIDontGetFined
Yeah, that was impressive. I'd like to THINK I'd do the same but the reality is probably that I would just run (and then feel bad after).
Brettholomeul
It was the worst throw ever. Of all time.
nol3ody
Not my fault. Someone put a wall in my way.
tombosleyV2
im just glad she got tossed with juuusst a little bit of anger to REALLY learn the lesson
shedoo
As a girl, this one pisses me off cause that was the girliest throw I've ever seen and misrepresents women's influence in the military.
attagirl
Exactly my feelings
RutBarbro
She could be an Israeli conscript, knowing she has no place there but must do it anyways.
Ooki2Spooki
She didn't drop the grenade, she pulled the pin and botched the throw.
pencilv3ster
I'm glad someone gets it
Opportunist
Actually, it looks like she gave the grenade a tiny little throw that landed it just on the other side of the barrier. Serious WTF, there.
rererepost
Last time I saw this someone explained that there's a trench in front of the barrier the grenade fell into. idk if it's accurate.
ThisIsntWhoItWouldBeIfItWasntWhoItIs
Actually it dropped right in front of her, but its just a practice grenade. A glorified firework essentially.
noch1999
Yea, i thought by the way the dust dispersed in front of the barrier that the grenade was dropped, but there should be more physical damage
charlesthe42nd
It looks more like a flash grenade. Or just some less powerful grenade for practice.