MrGoodEmployee
148311
2664
131
Pixel tax included
Feb 14, 2018 3:00 PM
MrGoodEmployee
148311
2664
131
Pixel tax included
Imalwaysready
This must be written by someone who's never seen an airplane bathroom. You have about ten minutes after take-off and then they get gross.
Phischstaebchen
I want to just have... must not be on a airplane. But I would opt in for a private ZeroG flight though. ;)
MarioBoon
I heard you do it very loudly so when you're done no-one wants to look at you in shame
CroissantMagnet
Disgusting: how could anyone in their right mind thing 'According to Jim" is hilarious?
kittenflare2718
Naaaah. Toilets are disgusting
sayoung0311
Step zero point five: be thin. Like, terribly thin.
marcosocram
Farm animals!
circlelurker
Plot twist - she just took the stinkiest shit imaginable and now you have to finish.
PurpleMario
I got you, bro.
confirmsthings
What? having girlfriend? Yes, me too.
Ernul
Only Middle East Airlines will issue Mile High certificates for doing it anally and/or with animals.
StJiub
"And watch an episode of According To Jim"
Gremlynn4023
Those pics show the most spacious airplane restroom I've ever seen.
Duckym0m0
To join the mile high club just do it in Denver...
GrandGamma
I make my hand enter five minutes after me.
iloveb00bies
Awe According to Jim, i remember watching that show... good times
MattDude
Eew! No! Gross! No one wants to watch According to Jim.
Catmandoom
Exactly what I was thinking
guppystank
If there is no line? There is always a line!
PantaloonPrincess
Not at meal time
Gnarkill721
If you get caught, you get put on the no fly list.
7thmaster
{citation needed}
2Dank4Memes
Past experiences
atarujun
Handjob under blanket is super sexy as people walk by. My gf had girl crush on our flight attendant, I fingered her while she got a drink.
donutjudgeme
I swear to God, people. What is wrong with you? Disgusting! If you get prosecuted or stabbed, I will cackle.
atarujun
The gf, that is. Be a bit bold to finger the attendant.
HeRoN14
Why is it just me wondering about getting a gf?Everyone else is so sorted they are talking about bathrooms etc. Am I the only single here?
MostIndeedlySo
ZachsAnomaiy
It's valentine's day and we're all on imgur, I feel like the people with girlfriends/boyfriends are busy. Not the married folk tho.
fizixx
Actually need instructions? Seriously can't figure this out on your own? lol
jackieisfly
As a flight attendant... No you don't. Not only are they cramped but some kid probably had projectile vomit all over the seat 1/2
Hammertulski
"34B is in the rear lav and 34C is hovering..." "Were they the couple that downed four Grey Gooses in 15 minutes?" "Yep." "God damnit."
jackieisfly
That your giddy bits are on. Plus the crew can call the cops on you for it =/
Necromartian
On what account? I don't believe having sex in toilet is in any sense wrong. They are lockable spaces for no pant's action
kalinroar
That's disgusting, just awful....who the hell watches According to Jim?
stevetehpirate
Perverts.
TheBrickumentarian
FluffyTheFluffyDog
I know this series ran a good few years back and I thought I had forgotten it until I started typing this. God damn me!
kalinroar
I am so sorry. I blame the in flight sex guide.
FilthyRapscallions
I used to, had a massive crush on the sister, Dana.
TheNax
Count me in on that one as well.
Illthinkofausernamelater
I do. His family is awesome. His brother is the chief engineer on the brand new, mid sized military space ship, the Orville.
davebeastly
Alternatively...
v
stoler202
Oh Aeroflot, you don't disappoint.
stoler202
Is this real?
Mexrose75
Just a muppet
ruferto
maintain eye contact. keep going.
davebeastly
Skizzlesnap
And you’re fucking high if you think my bare ass is touching a plane bathroom toilet.
flamingflamingo
You must not be a woman.
nefentari
That's what toilet paper or all the tissues you brought are for.
flamingflamingo
Seems like a lot of trouble.
Skizzlesnap
And I thought putting condoms on killed the mood.
nefentari
"Wait, honey, let me put down toilet paper first."
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Please don't. Planes are already disgusting. Last thing we need is your seaman everywhere.
mattattax
Seaman??? Bitch lasagna the FUCK is seaman
HerMajestysSecretButthole
“THIS DISPLEASES ME” - Seaman
?1
DanteHicks79
The comment thread for this did not disappoint
DJCurry25
If boats can have em then so can planes!
ROBOTvsMAN
*semen
Trogglehumper
Thought we were on a plane not a sub!
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going in deep.
Trogglehumper
Seamen stains.
whatupmyknitters
Justrememberdontblink
As an ex-navy corpsman, Im offended by your remark. We are needed everywhere. Deep, long, full subs. Buoys bouncing in the sea. Your face.
Jakethesnake357
Thats why you leave it inside of her.
Zombraina
You really think it just stays in there?
NotQuiteDeadYetPool
DarkwingDuc
Every seaman starts with semen. Some finish with it.
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seaman. just one sailor, spread throughout the plane
ClayBones548
That would be pretty disgusting.
NorseGod222
I don’t really want to have sex where people take shits.
SomeGuyWhoSaysStuff
I think you could have sex this same exact way in your seat.
NineColonels100
Like in the ass?
Idosss
Anal is pretty fun if they keep it clean.
NorseGod222
Hey thanks for the tip. Just the tip.
MoneybagsMcGee
lazysombrero
Well analyze that!
hermaDiver
ThisMeansALot
Dude bro you bro
BukkakeRider3000
50ShadesofCovfefe
Don't lie and say you don't jerk off on the toilet.
Throbinwood022
NorseGod222
Nah, I really don’t. But at least that would be my own bathroom not a public one
50ShadesofCovfefe
Catmandoom
That's why airplanes need a sexroom, every couple gets 30 minutes, I just need a couple million dollars to start my new airline
ShockHerman
Heard long ago there was some company that offered a service like this, only its a private jet and expensive but you get a full meal(1/2?)
ShockHerman
with fancy wine and shit, stays up for a few hours I think, don't remember it that clearly, heard about it years ago.(2/2)
Rox2
Jackpot Airlines https://media.giphy.com/media/3ohc0VO9h5Flo6IzIc/source.gif
CyTuba1441
Throw in blackjack and hookers and youve got a buisness partner. Infact, I'm already 40% buisness partner.
badmusicpuns
Airgetaroom
usernametaken42
Ok, what do I do with the other 28 and a half minutes?
Genesis315
well I usually spend a solid 40 minutes crying after an exhausting 8 seconds of sex
AntennaDibb
squeeze in an episode of futurama before you get kicked out by the cleaning crew
SuperPickle17
cuddle?
CrystalCry
Memes
ItsActuallyDavidNow
There’s a handle on the outside of all airplane lavatory doors which will engage or disengage the locks. Source: wife is a flight attendant.
Puln2bs
Congrats on the sex.
solutionorppt
So what? The hinge on every one of those doors has to fold inward into the bathroom to open the door. By default there will be a foot there.
CrystalCry
There's normally one behind the LAVATORY sign
NightFuryLee
Yup
dongerjally
Why is that relevant
MNM5701
Flight attendants can open the door if they think something's up
dongerjally
What can they do if they bust you?
Ultimada
Join
theoneandonlyMD
Arrest on landing. With any luck, they won't divert the aircraft, so you'll at least be in your destination city.
HomunculusSr
arrest for.... ?
Talmorean
FYI Airplane bathrooms are fucking filthy. They get a once over from a cleaning crew maybe every few flights.
PartOfTheRebelAllianceAndATraitor
FYI Sex is filthy.
Talmorean
That's what the Village Elders want you to think.
CrystalCry
That's generous
Greatwood
It clearly states with the toilet seat down
Snotty128
Good job I’m sticking my dick in the mrs and not the plane toilet then
Talmorean
Stoicnihilist
That's a lot more than your bathroom or mine or anyone elses bathroom and you know that.
samthing
Turbulence + men peeing standing = yuck.
SBSP129
Just men peeing standing = yuck (yal dribble so much!)
oooSophisticatedMama
like the harlem globetrotters
Illthinkofausernamelater
Just lay down a toilet seat liner on the closed toilet. Problem solved.
wurdtoyer
I used to clean airplanes. We did it every flight. But nothing was sterilized. Like, ever. So yeah, don't fuck in plane bathrooms.
DoReMemeSoFaLaTiDo
My brother cleaned planes. Lack of cleaning supplies. They cleaned the seat trays after the toilets. With the same cloth. Bowl and all.
djsdkdjsk
so you're saying they clean a whole toilet with a cloth, then clean plates with that cloth
DoReMemeSoFaLaTiDo
Yes.
djsdkdjsk
so their all stupid?
JustSomeHoneybadger
What idiot cleans the dirtiest part of the toilet before the cleanest? no matter if one cloth or not you always go from cleanest to dirtiest
DoReMemeSoFaLaTiDo
One crew cleaned the seats, another the toilets and storage areas. Toilet cleaners had cloths. Seats didn't. Only got the cloth after 1/2
DoReMemeSoFaLaTiDo
The toilet crew were finished cleaning. Managers DGAF and wouldn't provide separate cloths due to cost. Dirty tray = getting written up.
TheRockSack
Depends on the airline and airport ; at my airport we clean every plane every night. The quality of clean how ever can vary person by person
TheGriffin
Depends on turn time too. A short turn means it gets a once over but if it's gonna sit for a few hours then more time can be spent
AGrammeIsBetterThanADamn
That's literally "every few flights"
ArchMagos
Do most of the planes only have one flight a day?
WannabeMaverick
How often do you clean your bathroom?
ArchMagos
About once a week unless I make a mess. But I'm the only one who uses it and I'm not actually home very often.
ThatMicrosoftPaintGuy
Nope. Airlines hate having planes doing nothing. The more they move people. The more money they make.
ThatMicrosoftPaintGuy
Generally planes wont be on the ground for more than 3 - 4 hours
XtraDownvote
Economy airlines take like 30-40 minutes
ArchMagos
Then your planes only get cleaned after a number of flights like the other guy said.
The605
Thank you
daftbehemoth
To be fair, once a day is still better than most public restrooms.
TheRockSack
Well I don’t know about other stations but the last flight of the night will be cleaned then won’t go out untill the following morning 1/?