TheBannedOne2
533335
15539
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Mar 6, 2017 11:12 PM
TheBannedOne2
533335
15539
195
desert249
In bird culture this is considered a "Dick Move."
ThePornhubTitle
You are getting way more points on this post than I did last year. Kudos.
BaconWithaSideOfTorment
stormtrooper412
All in day's work. Though I have seen this post a million times before
TexasAngel
BustyCrustacean
RainXVI
*squaak* Little Dick Jim *whistle*
rogersthammond
His name also means eagle in German
fangsschleim
Isn't this the legal tweeter that steals other legal tweet jokes?
wolfboy0723
Bird law.
FNHuskys
Well shit, not everyone can get their own OJ Simpson trial.
PrincessKuzco
To be fair, thats a legit potential issue lol
WhyCannotWeBeFriends
macron696
Bitching all the way to the bank
sleepswiththefishes
Fight over parrots, or fight over frozen sperm, take your pick, counselor.
DontcallmeLen
"Your a fat bitch" He said I have a bad itch.
Sugarcrotch
Or "he learned that before the divorce"
lintwizard
Sure, I'll throw a +1 to a reference to the South Park pilot episode :D
Kitakita
THERE WAS THAT ONE ACE ATTORNEY MISSION WITH THE PARROT AND AFHDFGHDGH
Porecomesis
Two if you count Ace Attorney x Professor Layton.
W0nd3rW0man
Sounds like a real fowl case.
Joelrassic
I feel this comment didn't get the attention or accolades it deserved.
BlownByTheMonsignor
Because I couldn't stand his girlfriend, I spent the better part of a semester trying to teach my buddy's parrot to say "CUNT"
dromgkittay
IAlwaysUpvoteBirdies
My husband and I have a parrot. That bird is like a child to us. Our rainbow feathered, flying, squawking child.
naytorin
So other than the feathers, pretty standard. Right down to the near-zero bowel control.
NoLongerFoamingWolffo
Best part is he'll probably out live you both too.
sebla
plot twist: Adler is german for eagle
DiscoPhysicist
I tried, and failed, to build a box out of acrylic today. I have a PhD in Astrophysics.
DiscoPhysicist
I managed to get the box assembled today! The secret was using the right glue. Gold star for me!
RaynWisp
I miscalculated my own overtime today... I've been a manager here for years... too embarrassed to correct it (paid out less, not more)
ExShinobi
I guess he also studied bird law
NoLongerFoamingWolffo
BurntRamen
Wow, and today that combined collection is worth about $3.50.
Corgishavedisproportionatelysmalllegs
In bird culture, that is considered a dick move
ExShinobi
It's a fillabuster
TheDustyOne
I'm assuming this guy has a degree in bird law.
Thestalemonkey
Did he go to bird school? For birds?
Lemuffinmannn
In bird culture, that is considered a dick move.
liliantbn
You mean: it's flipping the bird?
KingReed
It's funny how many people don't understand this reference.
LLCoolGeoff
The thing about bird law in this country is that it's not governed by logic
Ubercod
themooseof603
DaddyDune
He was given the Bird Degree
liliantbn
Damn I'm 13 hours late: wanted to write that. Wonder how many times that attorney is asked that.
Vaanhalen
liliantbn
Appropriate reaction.
TimBus
Charlie?
cazo
http://25.media.tumblr.com/3675c69867fb3dfc67a79295d0739168/tumblr_mzeynnezGO1r4ar2yo1_1280.png
Katateochi
http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/0/216/406561-7.jpg
liliantbn
He's doing a crossword puzzle.
andaction
He has a law degree. Fowl play is included.
acantankerouscurtain
MasterNateT
It's called Avian Law, you plebeian!
liliantbn
A very important aspect of law.
AsksTooManyQuestions
He knows all about bird law and bird culture.
AintNoCompanionLikeABlueEyedMerle
He must have VERY large hands
gumbyneedsapokey
NOBODY LOOK, NOBODY LOOK *scream runs out of room*
labmonkey4life
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CbrEstLWAAAmJpG.jpg
JohnnyLawlessEsq
There is probably such a thing. I know that "Equine Law" is a thing, so why not "Avian Law?"
Plumbusdealer
Well for thousands of years people's lives and livelihoods depended on horses, I don't think quite so much for birds.
liliantbn
Oh yes they did! Alarm cock, French soufflee... where would French chefs be without eggs? And what of those who have egged someone's house?
Plumbusdealer
Yeah but horses were transportation, they plowed fields, they fought battles... chickens can't do any of those things.
liliantbn
I was not being serious about it. Just for jest.
JohnnyLawlessEsq
Clearly, you haven't been hanging out with the right birds.
Plumbusdealer
Not even battle chickens.
Adilea
This. This is the best comment ever.
Znayx
I don't get it :(
Plumbusdealer
Harvey Birdman
uhtreduhtredson
Reference to It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, I asume you haven't seen it. I insist you remedy that right now
pantaloonsex
Just watched this episode past night. "Poyle vs Ponderosa" Season 11
cazo
Season 5 Episode 1 "The Gang Exploits the Mortgage Crisis"
manhands
A lawyer posted publicly on twitter poking fun at the unimportance of his previous client?
TheActualBruceWayne
Helli
theshinobi23
I thought it was the judge posting.
AwkwardCamel
Nah, attorney. https://twitter.com/madler9000?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor is his twitter. pretty funny actually.
Gorgrim
More like the absurdity of the case, not the importance.
Violetheart17
He also stole the tweet from another lawyer.
RodentOfAverageSize
He's possibly the mediator. Odds are the clients don't even know his name. Besides, it's not like they will want to say " hey that's me"
mixylodian
You're underestimating the potential shamelessness and stupidity of people.
mrsfunsocks
Case is settled and there's no way to identify who he's talking about based on this post alone. Perfectly fine.
fiery831
Well, he's a divorce attorney. He'll always have work...
JesusProtectMeFromYourFollowers
Actually he said "I went to law school for this." That sounds like he felt it was very important, unless someone tries to read his mind.
boozz
I read it in a positive way as well±!
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
In law, all you would have to do is prove that is what a reasonable person would think.
TheThingNoNotThatOne
Don't see any ethical violations here - no mention of the court, or identifying the clients. Lawyers publish stories like this pretty often
Thundering165
In fact, many lawyers post this exact story on their twitters. Like hundreds.
capughe
Not ethical, but not necessarily the best for business if people think he's flippant about their issues
Stoltzy17
It'd be better if he posted anonymously
capughe
not unethical**
jackmiton
He bloody well should be flippant about bird visiting rights...
visorian
He should be it's a petty argument for petty people, and taking it seriously for the "principal" is pointless
alivicwil
Principle. Principal is the person - he's your "pal".
capughe
Principal wanted his parrot
BobKelsoDoesntGiveACrap
*Squak* "Steve's a punk ass bitch" *Squaaaak*
Frederf
JohnnyBGoodyTwoShoes
Your going to fucking jail, Sharon!
coololdguy
Best.
ThecommentFarmer
*Squak* Roses are red. Your blood is too. Jenny is a whore. *squuak
rando53
*Squaawk* Sharon's a cheating whore *Squaawk*
TheMagicalMushroom
This bird knows my mum?
cujo67
*Squak* Steven pees sitting down" *Sqauuuuuk*
ImgurCouncilOfLlamas
*Squak* So does Sharon *squak*
AwkwardlyUncomfortable
Who has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso. #usernamechecksout
AtsaMattaForYou
http://imgur.com/v7SJdmq
TheRicM
Lol, because Steve the Pirate
MyPPHrtz
That's $20,000 and loss of visitation mother fucker
EverlastingToeJam
But it was Steve who thought the bird all along!
ThecommentFarmer
Ohhhlookaunicorneatingasamurai
He knows what he's doing.
ZaphodForgotHisTowel
IamTOOOLDforThisShite
um ... *taught* maybe??
LongCommentChainAppreciator
Ye taught wrong C:
HungryPumpkn
What if Steve made it say that to get full custody?
CountSnarkula
Kid threw up on my shoes this morning. I went to medical school for that.
foolhollow
Annnnnd that is why I am sterile.
FirstClassTicketToHell
Why I decided not to be pregnant. Yay for no barfing babies!
foolhollow
Damn right! I am so fucking thankful I will never get a woman pregnant!
amoeba15
So basically you have a hundreds of thousands in student loans to get barfed on. Could've just gotten a job at a daycare and saved money.
pissygaboon
I had that happen yesterday. I didn't go to school for it, I just didn't pay close enough attention in sex ed, apparently...
liliantbn
Sex ed? Ok so a totally different setting.
TheBestRussian
How about a wet sneeze directly into your open mouth because you were kneeling in front of a child saying how cute she was?
TheBestRussian
Later turned out she had Influenza A, brought over from Africa (i.e. brand new strain for me). I was so fucking sick afterwards.
liliantbn
Wear a face mask from the moment you enter the room. Maybe goggles also.
CongratsYouAreHereNow
get a faster mouth
CraftedLine
This made me laugh so hard!
TheBestRussian
I'm glad my pain amuses you ;)
FlamboyantTitans
I would fucking quit and go full Into the Wild
CrazyCatLad
I volunteer at an animal shelter and a mother was in with her ~5 year old who was sneezing. Her next sneeze was aimed at me. Oh my god>>
CrazyCatLad
this is it. I'm doomed to sickness. Mother puts her hand over the kids mouth. I give her a relieved smile and a nod.
liliantbn
That's what all mothers should do but most of them don't.
TuityFrooty
What area of medicine do you practice? Go Dr. Snarkula!
CountSnarkula
Lol Anesthesia. So the nausea was my fault, kind of.
CountSnarkula
Lol Anesthesia. So the nausea was my fault, kind of.
LaDoleurExquise
;)
andros117
Don't admit liability online if you live in the US! People are so petty, you will get hit with a malpractice lawsuit! *sarcastic voice *
LaDoleurExquise
There's this Zofran stuff. I've heard it's pretty okay.
HelpImNewHere
It will make you constipated like no other. Pick your poison
SnookerSylph
If you're an anesthesiologist you must be making pretty good money. Not killing the patient with gas is important!
ComeBackHereJessicahNOWjessicahhh
This is why Planned Parrothood is very important.
rockgolf
I found my parrot has a second family. It's the heartbreak of Polly-gamy.
Starbolt81
Arkvoodle
CapnJack804
You are a god, sir. +1.
stonesliver
Dot so i can show my boyfriend who loves birds. +1 for you clever sir
NoTrumpEver
Hahah! Truth.
jwside
annabanana333
HEY-O!
kofunstuff
h3nna0jisan
https://media.giphy.com/media/rRLAQHL9qHzNK/giphy.gif
Graysongdl
I laughed so hard at this. Then I realized it said "parrothood" instead of parenthood, and laughed even harder.
LOPEZ956
Otterhendrix
Comment of the fucking day. +1
Clayman8
I had to reread that... well done +1
MyBoyIsABox
Oh brother!
80percentlegs
LokiDoky
Came back just to upvote you.
HummingbirdHippie
I took my cat to Planned Pethood to be spayed.
overproved
Dad??
drbloodbathmc
cashea
Sorry, but Planned Parrothood cannot be beat.
BlackberryCobbler
Yes, when you're itching to conure parrot into calling your ex wife a hosebag, measures must be in place!
HandsomeJack19
WOO! That made my morning.
APairofDocks
Once worked a divorce case over whether or not their ferret deserved higher quality treats. Never thought I'd oppose Bland Ferret Food.
liliantbn
Either judges have the funnest job with all the stuff they get to hear, or the worst annoying job with the stuff they get to hear.
ActualTttony
You caught me unawares.
FickDingers
HaywoodJeDewmie
Fuuuuuck you. +1
DimmadamnDougDimmadome
Fuuuuuck you. +1
BluffinMuffin
This deserves a standing ovation
liliantbn
Ovation - ovum : egg. So yes, it is appropriate for the occasion.
Dontaskjeeves
BluffinMuffin
Thanks I'm on mobile and can't upload
Davedavedavedavedave
shuttlecockinakumquat
Man, that bird LOVES those tongs.
Hetuni
Yep, just fucking loves them to bits, what with the probably screeching
HeywouldJablowme
Cockatongs
drone7
WhatOhShitGif
The claaaawwwww
ENCHANTMEN
oooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo
PrinceSatisfactory
The last time this was posted, it was said that the bird is not having a good time here
Zombraina
That's probably because the human wasn't having a good time with the bird biting them while picking it up.
nokidsandTHREEmoney
. . . . . How could a gif so relevant possibly exist?
ThatMomentWhenImgurJokesAreOnlyFunnyToImgurians
there's gotta be a rule for this
lncorrectGrammerNazi
Rule 35
McDouggal
No, that's "If there is no porn of a subject, it will be made."
NotTodayNotYesterday
How did that bird not flip the fuck out?? Mine would panic like it's had Vietnam flashbacks starring a pair of tongs.
sonianosia
hahahaha..nice
Spadey
Attacked by the Viet Tong
Drennen
The Vietongs are everywhere!
WithPride
Uh huh. That's a pretty idiotic way to promote an organization.
80percentlegs
*woosh*
80percentlegs
*woosh*
Xathraphor
WithPride
I know its a joke. I just don't find it funny.
ComeBackHereJessicahNOWjessicahhh
WithPride
Sorry for being logical. I know reason has no merit on here.
ComeBackHereJessicahNOWjessicahhh
DontAskMelJustWorkHere
I'm sorry you can't handle a joke lmao. What a snowflake.
WithPride
Fuck off. The joke is how people think that planned parenthood is any type of reliable organization in the first place.
emberthegoat
Ahhhh hahaha. And the username is grear
NotAPervert
Is it from something?
KaylaAnnMeow
Jessica Jones, Netflix series
HaywoodJeDewmie
"Theeeeey're grrreaaar!" -Tony the Tigrer
emberthegoat
Oh man that typo made this hilarious lol
SvennGalley
Could've been worse...
idownvoteplottwist
"investment" and they just throw them in a pile in the courtroom?
azureraptor
There is an unmeasurable, existential sadness suffusing this image.
TheBannedOne2
I've heard those things are very expensive. The most rare ones could go as much as $5000 to $6000 per Beanie Baby.
bigzepper
I've heard a first edition JonBenét Ramsey commemorative Beanie Baby can go for over $13,000 depending on the strength of the yen.
idownvoteplottwist
...so only Japanese people are buying them?
CocaineAndSelfPleasure
They seriously have a JonBenét Ramsey one? That seems... wrong. I was walking around Boulder one day and someone asked me where her house 1/
CocaineAndSelfPleasure
was. It really caught me off guard that her house is a tourist attraction. Then my buddy jumped in and said it was two lefts and a right.
Dontaskjeeves
In 1997 that may have been true
TheBannedOne2
Nope that's still the case, also my estimate was low... http://www.ebay.com/sch/Retired/440/i.html?_nkw=rare+beanie+babies&_sop=16
Dontaskjeeves
I really hope this is real, I actually have those beanie babies. Christmas present from grandparents who donated to the Diana fund
TheBannedOne2
As far as I'm concerned it is real. I went to ebay and searched on: rare beanie babies, clicked on highest to lowest price and this came up.
SubZole
azureraptor
http://imgur.com/aF14Mgs.gif
QuazMasta
There are a ridiculous number of Princess Diana ones available for the price to be that high.
poopofdestiny
It's generally the 'factory defect' ones that get such high prices. seems odd that there were so many with the same defects but there ya go.