Shenaniganz80
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Oct 21, 2025 1:29 AM
Shenaniganz80
843
44
6
seenunseen
Just be honest and blunt
VulpesIncendium
Depending on your parents, the best way can range anywhere from quietly moving out, completely ghosting them, and sending an anonymous letter from a safe place to bursting through the front door wearing a dress and exclaiming " is no more, I am now !"
suiseiseki
Passively broach the topic when it naturally comes up and see how they react. If they react poorly then do not tell them until you are out and not dependent on them.
CaptnVatka
Hey dad, mom... if you every wanted a(nother) daughter, well, have I got great news! (Of course this very much depends on the existing relationship)
Zetor
If you have to ask this... :|
VaxxedCanadian
Show them this and let them be more concerned you don't know your from you're.
frenofafren
MajorNikon
Start leaving your mom's drawers in your laundry basket. Should get the conversation going.
Shenaniganz80
I have my own panties
bj52398
Just be honest, show pics of you before the transition, and I'd start by asking if they think you're all the woman/man that they could want. If that isn't true, well, I'm sorry, they should be out the door before you go further. Or they already know, and this is a moot point.
Rivalyn
I wish I could help, but I also need some advice of this nature
ScootyMcDoop
Same, friends have been supportive but parents don’t know.
Shenaniganz80
It’s all good I’ll share the answers with you
bluekracker
Go to mom first. Moms always know. Have her help you talk to dad. Unless they are church thumping maga members odds are your still the person they raised to be honest with yourself and them
frenofafren
*You're.
Wuz314159
ATastyCorpsesicle
Do they love you, or do they love their idea of you?
Shenaniganz80
I think they love me
ATastyCorpsesicle
Then ask them the same question, and whether they know the difference.
cameloDancer
Have a back up plan for the worst circumstance/outcome. A friend who will let you stay with them til you get back on your feet, or some savings where you can go get your own place.
I don't say staying in the closet is a good long term plan, but if you're reliant on them, and fear they'll cut you off, take some self preservation time until you have a back up plan ready in your back pocket.
Ionico
This this this.
cameloDancer
Remember, as adults, the leverage we have over our parents is our presence. If they don't love you for who you are, then they don't deserve you.
Good luck!!!
Stuffitwithbeans
This really depends on the parents and many other details about your situation. I would just tell mine if i was sure but not all parents are like mine.
Aslatra
This. Like, it's a very different conversation between 'Oh my parents are gen-X and have posters of Twisted Sister and goth women' and 'They're bible thumpers' and without more information, it's hard to throw out anything definite.
Stuffitwithbeans
My parents surprised all of us. They are super conservative but also very loving. Multiple kids and grandkids have come out and they love every one of them just as much. For others i guess the only real advice if they don't know how the parents will react would be to make sure you have a fallback plan.
sometimesarobot
I guess first question is: Do you think they'd be okay with it, or no?
That highly directs how you'd say things.
Shenaniganz80
I think so but there’s doubt
sometimesarobot
I suppose "I started HRT" would work. "What's that" "Go look it up" and then they can find out while you're not around.
Exyr
Do you really think that dont have an inkling?
Shenaniganz80
I’m not showing yet it’s only been six months
Exyr
When I was 11 years old my dad sat me down for a talk. He was all like "I have something that I need to tell you" and I was just kind of just jumped up and said "oh I know what you're going to say" and then he said "what do you think im going to say?" And I immediately sat down and said "nevermind go ahead and tell me" he said "I'm gay" and then I was all like "I knew thats what you were gonna say!" Sometimes people just know. Maybe they have an inkling of who you are maybe they dont. 1/2
Exyr
I just hope that they are receptive of you and who you are. Maybe it won't be as bad or hard as you think it will be.
paullyboy1999
I am sorry you have to ask the community this. If my kids had the same scenario, it would simply be, "dad, i am trans" in which I would say, "hi trans, I'm dad". If you need a 51 year old long distance father who is too poor to pay you allowance, I've got your back.
Shenaniganz80
I’m like 90% sure they’ll be okay with it but the fear is real
iamgnat
I wasn't living with mine when I told them. I was also 48 and they were hitting their 80s. We are also 1300 miles apart.
I knew they'd still love me, but I was still afraid of how they would respond. Even though it was low risk (we've always had a rough relationship), I was still scared.
They surprised the hell out of me with how supportive they were. I hope you are as lucky, but please have a plan ready if it doesn't go well.
paullyboy1999
Well, if it doesnt. I will have a spare bedroom in Omaha NE next month when I move. Best of luck. I grew up in a judgy house and said my kids will always be able to tell me anything without judgement. I was truly tested last year when my stepson came out as MAGA. I gave my opinion, I occasionally make snide remarks, but he is my child. Thanksgiving is going to be a real test of if I can overlook it or not
Shenaniganz80
Best of luck
paullyboy1999
You too