Let’s just pretend that didn’t happen and let me get back to my sales pitch...

Jan 6, 2018 1:29 AM

poorwhitetrash

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108933

Likes

2035

Dislikes

73

Quite possibly the most embarrassing thing I’ve done professionally in a decade. Glad I opted against Taco Bell for lunch.. FP EDIT: for those asking, they did sign, however, the contract has a contingency for an attorney review so the deal won’t go hard for another 30 days or so. Send Sudafed and Beano!

Bodies are gross and sometimes unpredictable

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A Snart!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I have farted and burped on many a conference call thinking I was muted.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It may be embarrassing, but it should not matter if hes actually interested. :)

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Most expensive fart i ever heard of

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

They will forever remember you as "that guy that farted"

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Would love to know what happened before this decade that stopped you from saying it was the most embarrassing thing you’d ever done...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

way to go jerry

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Call me when you sneeze shart and snot is stuck in your beard and hands giving you webbed hands and forcing you to prisoner shuffle escape.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

> time to work on pelvic floor muscles

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Keeping it real

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The Bell = Shart

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I just left my family for a three month patrol, 01:45, can’t sleep, thinking about my lil boy. But this put a smile on my face. Thank you.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If you're negotiating $3M projects, Taco Bell for lunch shouldn't even be a consideration

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Could be a 3m total project for the company he works for, not necessarily in his pocket. I mean, I eat Taco Bell and don't have to.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I sat down in my bosses office once, my thighs clapped together and made a squeaky fart sound right as we made eye contact.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

You had me at thigh clap...

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I said, a $3mil DART gun!! v

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Congrats! I just killed a $6M project because it was not feasible and broke just about every applicable NFPA code. Almost as satisfying.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Did you get the client?

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I'm a serious business guy in a serious business workplace. Accidentally called the secretary "mom."

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Well, at least they know you aren't just full of hot air...

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Was it a sewage line project?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Could have been MUCH worse.

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

I would hire you on the spot but only if you laughed afterwards

8 years ago | Likes 80 Dislikes 1

"You're hired!" " But I wasn't even applying for a job you were selling me something!"

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

I second that hahaha

8 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

"See how efficient I am?"

8 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 0

Oh my god this made me laugh way too hard

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"Asstounding multitasking ability" - CV, probably

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

"You should hire me on spot!" - The person probably.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I dunno, your sales pitch sounds full of shit.

8 years ago | Likes 490 Dislikes 1

and the client was flabber-gassed

8 years ago | Likes 61 Dislikes 0

v

8 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

Is this a pneumatic shit dispersing system?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Huh! I always figured the inner workings of twitter would have been more complex.

8 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Genius plus all of the other possibilities hate crowds np! Got a bully not anymore! Don’t wanna pay for anything anymore problem solved!

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0