somefriesmugglefucker
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May 9, 2017 11:31 PM
somefriesmugglefucker
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shedooooooooo
Had a nice convo with a guy in a wheelchair. As I was leaving I said I had to go walk my dog and run some errands. Shit.
EatingOreos
A friend of mine bought a homeless person's last magazine they were selling and happily told him "now you can go home".
FLFrank42
ToastDNA
Buddy in highschool acted homeless on weekends in SanFrancisco. Made hundreds in about 8 hours. Best part time job.
saskpirate88
got hit on by a homeless person. asked if i wanted to come home with him and i said no he's like well jokes on you i don't have a home burn?
fitzinimgur
Chereazi
Don't worry, his cardboard box has central heating.
somethingsomethingwittyhere
Homeless man: https://media.giphy.com/media/F1GPAMt15vBZK/giphy.gif
GotMince
Should this not be blue top red bottom
sckrlfe
I had a chat with a few homeless men. At one point im not sure whether i should give him or not so i ask him "do you need some money?"
sckrlfe
He said no. And he also said to give my money to my parents. I was 29 with mustache, beard and everything.
Joeythemonster
That username though lol
moodytravesty
Statistically speaking, he probably went to his own home.
Arkanslayer
I told a blind man I hadn't seen in a while it was "nice to see" him once. He laughed.
Doya
Zardif
I once asked a lost blind man if I could help him what he was looking for.
Brandon77
I was talking with a guy about why he had a fence around his guest pool, and joked about removing it and letting natural selection do its1/2
Brandon77
Work but i forgot he told me 20 mins before that he lost a child a year ago. 2/2
therealVexed
FUUU
MrBator
At least you left him with a nice warm burn
TylerDoYB
ltsDizzyD
DeliberateMisinterpretation
Solid.
zstrilla
Well played.
deeviralbuzz
thewindow6
MegaDeuce
Savage AF
MattTimesTwenty
Homeless man :
BlueMonkey7200
What a callous person you are
somepersondoingsomethings
I had to return 1 of my tickets and did the "enjoy your movie too" line to a movie theater customer service rep on the phone the other day.
somepersondoingsomethings
Not as egregious as the OP but same idea. Feels pretty dumb haha.
tonksl
Some ppl asking 4 money are doing it to buy beer and drugs, pisses me off. Source: a family member :(
therealVexed
give it to homeless people that need it instead of wasters
emilyvin
"You should come over and rob... Fuck, uhm, have dinner with me."
wykesy
Rob, fuck and dinner? What a night.
emilyvin
I call it Thursday.
orangegrand
I doubt it, a real homeless person wouldn't risk losing a bed at night
emilyvin
Depends on how much you can steal ;)
orangegrand
Even then I doubt it... Source: have taken a homeless stranger off the street in the last 6 months
emilyvin
Clearly it wasn't me ;)
orangegrand
I already told you Emily you can't come live with me until you quit drinking
Crimlem
Ex-homeless person here - it happens more than you'd think lol! It's only insulting when a fellow homeless person says it, that 1/2
Crimlem
Means they don't enjoy your company, or do have somewhere they need to be. The homeless are deceptively busy people.
RackhamTheRed
@CrimsonLemon mind writing one of these "day in my life" (or whatever they are called) stories about that time?
CongratsYouAreHereNow
what are they so busy doing? they always run across the street like theyre late
Crimlem
Places to go, people to see! Also if you get to a dumpster fast enough the uneaten food is still pretty good! Just don't dive to deep lol!
Falkorburnstoo
Sounds delicious
youknowthatonepersonwiththeface
It's not bad, Krispy Kreme dumps the day's donuts in their own bag, and Little Ceasers will dump the pizzas still in the boxes
lithiummouse
I would read your chronicles.
StarkRG
The Chronicles of Crimson Lemon.
Crimlem
When I'm at the end of my story I'll be sure to get it all down before I pass :D!
lithiummouse
Woop!
chitownsports
I think you dropped your ring by him
angelah353
what does this mean?
therealVexed
no fucking clue :/
whosthatgirlitsvern
I met a client after hours at a jail. I said, "it's been a long day, I've been in this jail for 8 hours now!" He said, "me too........"
thatdudethatslonely
That is amazing, what a good story to share
Gunshanks
I also work in a jail. I always ask the prisoners how they're doing. They usually have the good graces to lie to me.
whosthatgirlitsvern
My opening line is usually, "hey ____, how ya doin'? You know, besides the whole being in prison thing."
whosthatgirlitsvern
PS @Gunshanks, you have one of the hardest and most thankless jobs out there. Good COs can make HUGE differences in my clients' lives (1)
whosthatgirlitsvern
(2) and futures. But being a good CO is hard, harder than being a good cop. Burnout is easy. Keep your head up and take care of yourself.
Gunshanks
I actually just deliver Commissary, it's one of the easiest (though admittedly most annoying) jobs I've had.
whosthatgirlitsvern
PS @OP, simply talking to homeless people like humans is one of the best things you can do short of providing long-term physical help.
rjderouin
probably food and shelter is nice too, but yeah your probably a little right
whosthatgirlitsvern
Don't underestimate the importance of treating people with respect and integrity.
Fumbledpersonality
^ this guy knows
ShowBadReply
Girl, think. Vern possibly. But YES they do!
Fumbledpersonality
Derp af. Lol but in my defense, always assume someone is a guy online!
cpcgamer
He should've thought about that before he became poor
IridescentLotus
Patches3000
Next thing you know, he'll want to sleep inside during the winter. What a freeloader
MightyThanos
If he wants a house, should just stop being homeless.. duh.
CameToCommentandChewGumImAllOutOfGum
Maybe next time he won't be so concerned with getting that new iPhone!
NoYouNeedYOURStomachPumped
And that tattoo must have cost him $30 in the 90s.
whosthatgirlitsvern
You should have thought of that before you became peasants!
Renkyu
So selfish amirite
iLikeButtholes
Hey! A fellow Republican!
Patches3000
-Paul Ryan
wykesy
Alternatively, "if he's homeless, why doesn't he just buy a house?"
icelandicsealbear
He should get a loan from his parents. A small one, maybe a million or so.
TheyMayBeFakeButTheyreGrrrrreat
My mom when I had no income. "You should open a savings account"
JazzHandsFan
"Save what? 5-10% of my income of 0?"
TheyMayBeFakeButTheyreGrrrrreat
She would swear there's blood in a rock.
wykesy
There's definitely blood in The Rock though.