Pawntoast
429398
12416
299
Credit for this masterpiece goes to our very own @itsawerewolfbarmitzvah
Jun 5, 2015 8:35 PM
Pawntoast
429398
12416
299
Credit for this masterpiece goes to our very own @itsawerewolfbarmitzvah
LudmilTzekov
She had to expect that.
rollingKansas
the mustache on the moon +1
Thispostisaboutacat
My dad tells the same joke to different waitresses when we go out
MrWigglemunch
And so it begins
2Sweg4u
The transformation is complete
Mustlovecats1978
My bf and I are trying to get pregnant, this hit me right in the feeeeeeels...
grabthepeanutbutter
I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR THIS EVER SINCE I WAS INFORMED MY SISTER-IN-LAW WAS SPAWNING A SUCCESSOR FOR MY BROTHER!!!!
Danimalx23
So, if I don't have children, and I Want to build a deck already, does that mean I have offspring out there somewhere?
GoldenErraticCoconut
I am laughing so hard right now! (Hello laughing-so-hard-right-now, I AM DAD)
Wextersmachinegunhands
I think Bill already came...
Smeleanorr
this made me feel really happy and i have no idea why!
swordofodin
i have to be holding a pregnant to evolve into a dad
FarNorthFarLeft
One of these days, when my consciousness reaches a higher level, I will understand this. Until then I'm befuddled.
mephitman
Dad Mode activated
RhealityBytes
He's ready
AnonOmis1000
My name is Bill and I sure as hell am not!
CharcoalWolfman
The mustachioed moon cracks me up.
BigAZNMan
"Come quickly" That's how she got that way and he became dad.
TravisKOP
I will resist this urge until the day I die
ninmonkey
The urge to surge? Or build a deck?
Patavan
he dad
MadMaximilius
That moon has a mustache more glorious than I'll ever have
iexpectthespanishinquisition
As a dad, can confirm: my every room in my home has a deck. Including closets and bathrooms
RaiXira
I'm not even a dad, but when I was with my fiancee, I had an uncanny ability to build beautiful decks and docks and the like in Minecraft.
Teonis
I can vouch that this is accurate. My dad powers tripled when just my first son was born. With my second son they went so out of control 1/2
Teonis
my wife can only stand my in short doses 2/2
Teonis
I duplicated the universe and used the copy to cultivate vast fields of corn to apply to my leg joints liberally. fake/2
BoysBecomingMenMenBecomingWolves
Hey @itsawerewolfbarmitzvah we should be friends because of our usernames! Also I'm dad.
itsawerewolfbarmitzvah
Do we have an @SpookyScary? Will they get the joke?
Samitch
Oh you guys...
nerdycatt
We just found out we're pregnant today after 2 years of trying. I must show this to him!
Mustlovecats1978
Congratulations!!
cowcannon
Congrats on baby :>
OfAllTheGinJointsInAllTheWorld
Congratulations!!!
txronin55
Congrats on pregnancy & sex! Tried forever; never successful. Make your child a good person, above all else.
DoaBrago
Congrats!
T0n1ka
Congratulations! :)
LarvaLamp
I always find it weird that people who want kids have to try, while terrible people just seem to spontaniously breed without effort.
AKUUUUUUUUUUUU
Sounds like there's a bias. If someone's having sex without birth control, then they're almost trying for kids, but only count if it happens
txronin55
Childless here. It makes me sick and angry.
felidori
You aren't alone.
UnpairedSock
My mom had to try for both me and my sister, but she finally got it! My parents are great, and I'm sure you will be too!
txronin55
Alas, my time has passed (45 y/o) BUT I have great relationships with niece/nephew & my friends' kids. I'm part of the "village" for them.
AssumingDirectControl
Educated people tend to be less fertile. It's a weird quirk in humans.
cowcannon
Maybe we aren't supposed to be smart? D:
butteredtoast789
we are animals...so, no. we are meant to be efficient
AKUUUUUUUUUUUU
Sause? Because no offence, but that sounds like a load of bull.
AssumingDirectControl
Most scholarly articles on the subject have a paywall, but the abstract is where the gist of it is.
AssumingDirectControl
It's more of a sociological reason than biological. I should say birthrate is inversely related to the education of the potential mother.
AKUUUUUUUUUUUU
That I can agree with.
BlessedPajamas
JOKE WITH WAITRESSES
RelativelyRelevantRelative
SOUNDS LIKE TITLE OF A HORRIBLE REALITY TV SHOW
Goggalore
These comments are probably mostly upvoted due to the fact that we couldn't figure out what the text said
RIPSlurmsMckenzie
WHY THEY DO DIS
friskypanda13
My dad still does this ALL the time and it's so embarrassing. I'm 25 -_-
honeyboob
TOKE WITH WAITRESS WAS BETTER
[deleted]
[deleted]
Hyakurin9
As a waitress, I would gladly toke with someone else's dad.
neondemonn
As waitress, I do toke with people's dads.
CapnJackSparrow
As a toke, I would gladly waitress with a dad
PiGuy314
Getting older is watching your father turn into the creepy old guy who jokes with waitresses.
AKUUUUUUUUUUUU
My father jokes with waiters and waitresses, but he's never creepy about it. Just sometimes the jokes fall flat because of language barriers
GrandmasterSpaghetti
Why hello there fellow grandmaster how are you grand mastering this day?
BlessedPajamas
I'm grand mastering quite well, how are you grand mastering today?
GrandmasterSpaghetti
Its been a pretty grand master day you know just grand mastering stuff
resipsaloquitor
And we make fun of tumblr for repeating the joke that's in the OP
HappinessIsaColdPint
Imgur is a fickle beast.
twentyyearsandthensome
At least we don't type it out in bold and italics and go "this."...
HappinessIsaColdPint
Word.
HappinessIsaColdPint
DEAL WITH CLOSET MONSTERS
StephanieWasTheTrueVillainOfLazyTown
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Geekyre
HappinessIsaColdPint
Lol. What kind of closet monsters did YOU grow up with?
StephanieWasTheTrueVillainOfLazyTown
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Stopsignal
He was secretly hitler while growing up.
BillJacob
??
HappinessIsaColdPint
What do you mean by ??... ? You don't understand? Are closet monsters not a thing where you grew up?
BillJacob
No they were. It just did not appear in this post.
StubbyJohnson
He means that "Deal with closet monsters" wasn't in the comic. We all simultaneously went "??" reading your comment.
ninmonkey
Actually I went; ?!
HappinessIsaColdPint
So, we're not allowed to add original thought anymore? Just regurgitate what's in the image for points?
IAmTheSlothKing
Does that moon have a mustache?
jackbos
Came here to comment on that! It was a nice touch.
stillmatic
Yes and Jupiter is made of wooden planks nailed together
ManMashine
It's the Ron Swanson of the moons.
LepidoliteMica
Like you have to ask.
rawrfrawrf
Moonstache
dakonsept
There are SO many questions I have about that one panel...
Cacob53
That's no moon.....
BrienneofTarthsJumboJunk
Thats yo daddy!
OF37
A dad mustache
Alavar
Tom Sellek stache
HappinessIsaColdPint
Dadstache. If you will.
thatoneguy757
I will. I will indeed.
SentientChickenNugger
Well if you...mustache, yes
ItsClemFandangoStevenCanYouHearMe
Dad! get off Imgur!
SentientChickenNugger
NO
IlliterateIllegitimateShitSpitter
This is great, +1
SentientChickenNugger
Thank you my friend
Pawntoast
This one is for my lovely wife, Harriet! She is a long time lurker...
ladymondegreen
Spies are notorious lurkers.
NOINOON
My wife would divorce me if I posted ratchet ass reposts like this.
Pawntoast
Play nice, sour little man.
Yaga2010
Harriet is a lovely name!
Haribobarlow
I'M A HARRIET!! I might not be your wife, though... congratulations on the mini-me, other Harriet and husband!
blackguard89
Please let that really annoying hut that she suffered at the end be real....
SweetBabyYeezus
Tubman?
Pawntoast
http://travelhag.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/harriet-tubman.jpg
UH60Mechanic
Harriet! Sweet Harriet! /hopes someone can finish the song lyrics
pokemontrainergreene
I don't know the rest of the words. But I know the movie.
Haribobarlow
I know "all the cow hands wanna marry Harriet, Harriet's handy with the lariat, but she don't wanna marry yet, she's having too much fun."
theonewithallthecats
Comin' for to...carry...me...home? I did good, yeah?
MissTamTam
Hard hearted harbinger of hagis
UH60Mechanic
HEED. MOVE. NAOW!
MissTamTam
Oh, he's going to go cry into his giant pillow
jacewindu
Beautiful, bemuse-ed, bellicose butcher
SpecimenSpiff
My wife and I are having our first baby-thingy this Sunday. .. .. ... ....... OH FUCKFUCKFUCK
MrFluffyPantsMan
did you have him yet?
SpecimenSpiff
Nope! She's coming Sunday.
T0n1ka
Congrats on your baby thingy!
SpecimenSpiff
You're welcome! :D
IndigoWendigo
Are you feeling your dad powers yet?
Killakam721
How do you know she's gonna poop it out on Sunday?
SpecimenSpiff
She's being induced to poop on Sunday. Odds are, it'll be pooped then.
ChemicalPizza
As someone who has birthed baby-thingies: Have your wife start taking stool softeners right now. Tell her I said "you're welcome"
Chuis
My wife's due date is today! The way thing's are going, it'll be tomorrow or Monday...
SpecimenSpiff
That's kind of what I'm expecting too. I'm predicting Monday rather than right after she's induced tomorrow. Congrats!! :D Your first?
Chuis
Thanks, yeah! A 6.5-7 lbs. girl. You?
SpecimenSpiff
Identical! Twins separated before birth? .. wait
TalonDudeguy
Do they keep the blankets at womb temperature?
uhhhnick
Its not as hard as people play it out to be. I have a 5 year old and my wife and I went against our better judgment and got pregnant again.
SpecimenSpiff
Yeah, I do have experience with newborns and toddlers, more than my wife, so I'm really not that worried. :D It's just a big change.
h2obuffalo
I've had my baby-thingy for a year and a half. I promise you it does get easier!
Pawntoast
"baby-thingy" +1 haha, best of luck!
SpecimenSpiff
Thank you! :D
jaybird85
Is your thingy gonna have a wee-wee or a who-ha?
SpecimenSpiff
Hoo-ha! It'll be fun. She'll be all cute n shit... literally.
pokemontrainergreene
Fucking, baby-thingy
Ikillmiceforaliving
Build a deck man
SpecimenSpiff
OH YEAH, I only have 24 hours to get it done!
SteevyT
Pretty sure all the fucking is what lead to the baby-thingy. :p
SpecimenSpiff
Damn, I think you might be right.
squirtyrat
People can make it too hard, lots of things do not matter!! Babies don't need bathed EVERY day, nor picked up & held every waking moment.
squirtyrat
I've 3 of the easiest brought up kids, listened to so many people saying 'it's so hard'. It's not. Mine loved watching the washing machine!
squirtyrat
Not that I was a shitty parent, (I hope I'm not), they found the washing cycle sounds soothing and comforting. Not in the machine tho....
squirtyrat
Good luck though! And I hope today goes well for you both. :)
bendeem
what kind of baby-thingy are you having?
SpecimenSpiff
Human, most likely. Jokes aside, a girl named Kaylee Lynn. :)
bendeem
congrats, don't be too protective of her, parents these days are ridiculous.
SpecimenSpiff
Oh, no no, I won't be one of those. People are crazy!
UsernameDoesntEndTheWayYouThinkItBlowjob
Awww my daughters first name is one letter away from yours. Congrats!
SpecimenSpiff
Thanks! :D
ninmonkey
Warning: Babies don't like the name baby-thingy.
relevanceisirrelevant
Yeah, i think they prefer Stormageddon, Lord and Master of All
BeeDragon
The card I sent my cousin said congrats on your crib lizard.
SpecimenSpiff
Noted! I guess I'll have to go with infant-creature! Thanks for the heads-up!
ninmonkey
Humanoid sub-unit number 1.
itsawerewolfbarmitzvah
Not to be a dick, but I'm the original artist. Would you mind crediting me?
SkittleE
You made this? I made this.
HellomynameisSatan
Is this your comment? This is my comment.
chubbycat21
Spooky scary
MarcusPlautusMolesworthus
Boys becoming men
bendeem
don't worry you aren't a dick, or maybe you are. i guess i should cut out you heart just in case you turn out to be a dick
itsawerewolfbarmitzvah
You must be fun at parties. Also I'm gonna go ahead and lock my window.
bendeem
that wont stop me
itsawerewolfbarmitzvah
Then I'm gonna calm your mom.
pmmeyourtitsforpuns
wat
bendeem
hwat?
pmmeyourtitsforpuns
y u do dis
Pawntoast
Your'e not a dick at all, just a clever artist. Apologies but I couldn't find the link to the original. Can you provide the link?
itsawerewolfbarmitzvah
http://imgur.com/onlR1wd thanks for being so cool about it! Not everyone would do this in your place!
pmmeyourtitsforpuns
Not that I don't believe you, but I don't see any identifying info there. Great profile text too btw
Durrington
I was wondering about that too, but they have a lot more art with the same style in their submissions. Pretty safe to say it's legit
Pawntoast
You're the real MVP, I lost it when I first saw your post.
Havenscloud
http://www.pearltrees.com/s/pic/or/now-kiss-84863136 You know this is where it was going
gallowsRenegade