DontEatLegos
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I was kinda constipated, so I said “why not,” and tried to drop a deuce again. So, as I’m trying to drop the package off, the first log was very stubborn but I persisted and eventually, it dropped. All of a sudden my stomach cramped up and made some weird sounds and a firehose of diarrhea shot out of my butt. It seriously lasted almost 5 seconds of full blown diarrhea. I feel so much better though. I guess that log was backing me up. I love you all!!! :)
8BitFish
Toss a coin to your shitter, oh ass checks of plenty....
TheJustOkayGatsby
Sugar. Free. Meta. Mucil. Regulatory cannot be undersold. The old people are right about a couple a things
dragonfury101
Don't force too hard, you can cause damage
Omegarighteous
I have this coming, I've got the rancid fart stage currently
2graves
Eat some dark greens my dude
KindofaBadPerson
MyKidIsAsleepAndImBored
TheEuphinator
didyouseewhatgodjustdidtousman
OnePieceRoboFranky
Them sugar free gummy bears will unclog you and then some.
theresgarlicinthatnebula
OneTonBrute
I can feel the elephant's eyes rolling into the back of it's head.
alwaysupvotefuturama
Ah, who doesn't love a good colon clearout
danbrazier
Username checks out
UranusSpelunker
The same thing happened to my cat 3 days ago and I had to catch him, bathe him, and scrub the floor. I blame you.
iusedtodream
I also blame OP.
kiddk00l
Sugar free Haribo gummy bears will take care of everything.
Madv1lla1n
Shit Posting Lvl 1000 +1
TennesseeTophat
A true #shitpost
AninOnin
Honestly, I'm happy knowing how much relief you must've felt afterwards. Keep the Lego munching to a minimum, okay? ?
DrDantheMedicalman
Overflow diarrhoea, caused by constipation irritating the bowel. Source - I'm a doctor who treats bowels
MellyBaskelly
Can we have a ‘day in the life’ type post? You can tell us gross stories and advice so those gross things don’t happen to us?
UserJace
People underestimate just how long a 5 second liquid blast is.
disagreeable
The terror. The horror. The relief.
dickbutttt
at least you didnt need a knife
kiddk00l
ScrewHavinAUsername
UserNamesArentEasy
I needed to fart as I read this. Thought I was about to suit my pants.
OnceInADream
I farted while reading this.
Sithonmysaber
Well at least you didn't tuxedo your pants
valen00
I hope this becomes a meme, somebody with more FP chops should make this a meme just so we can talk about tuxedoing ones pants.
merelyadequategooglymoogly
Suit yourself.
mypotatohas47assholes
Shit yourself.
BeanMugged
Ironically I read it as "I just POOPED the cork"
KirbyUOR
I read "I just pooped", then saw the look on his face and thought "Ooh can't wait to see the bottom" then read "the cork" and thought...
KirbyUOR
..."aww I was wrong", then read the description and thought "oh wait it was about pooping!" and all was good again. What a rollercoaster!!
watgula9
Bingbangbobalot
Once the pace car leaves the track it’s back to racing speed.
brandscaping
This is the crappiest story I've read all day
3lv3n
You dropped a nice turd punt.
QuamvisSintSubAqua
The crappiest story so far.
Pantallideth
A high quality shitpost
HandoB4Javert
EVILtheKAT
That was puntastic.
Jepalaudsadsin
Craptastic*
MustntSleep
Yeah OP is full of shit
DontEatLegos
I was.
patolucas1977
Not anymore apparently
awesomespeler
Excellent. But don’t forget to loiter for a while in case of an aftershock.
MikeWay
A rehearsal standing-up usually brings the aftershock
Wingsofinsanity
Sounds like you've learned nothing about eating legos.
NewWestDave
The plural of Lego is Lego .
NotTheMamaNotTheMama
Was looking for this comment
Nobanob
My exceptionally dumb friend doesn't understand, so he can't tell me what this means
Wingsofinsanity
The @OP is named don'teatlego, post was about constipation. My comment alluded the constipation was from eating lego.
Nobanob
Thank you very much
QuitLookinAtMineAim
A real shit post, with no poop knife needed
SamAuFoodVillain
Nobody said it was not needed
QuitLookinAtMineAim
I, um... I did. Are you calling me a nobody?
HumanClone
Poop stories are the best stories. Eff all those downvoting.
TooStronkkk
No shit yo!
Sweetumsbrandflavoredcondom
Im basking in the first dump on the home throne post-road trip afterglow right now. Shit yeah.
nozel
It reads like a love story
iamthisguy247
Yeah, they’re the shit!
PushPullMagnet
Because we all relate at some point
unkiereamus
After I broke my leg, I was on Percocet, but didn't take the colace for 5 days, since I didn't think I could manage sitting/standing (1/2)
unkiereamus
on/from the toilet...once I finally did poop after 7 days....let's just say I'm glad I was already on percocet. (2/2)
Lurker4815162342
dukeas365
I want to downvote cuz I'm sitting on the toilet and the cork wont come out
DutchessGummiBuns209
They are we've all been backed up and had that sweet relief. Trying to guess the shape and length with each push
Smarterthanyoureaveragebeer
They're not my number 1 favorite but they are a solid number two
Lurker4815162342
Nice number 2 is definitely 1
magicrhombus
Quessir
My all-time favourite.
MeatSparkles
Dude I haven't pooped in like 5 days.... I take a lot of pills :/
TurduckenMcNugget
I poop like 5 times a day. Not sure which if us has it worse.
MeatSparkles
haha do you drink a lot of coffee/tea?
TurduckenMcNugget
None actually. No caffeine at all.