FreeDadHugs
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I've been occasionally suicidal for over 30 years. I'm obviously alive so I thought, "eh, no big deal." So I didn't bother getting counseling until recently when my wife and I were talking about how great life was (she had just given birth to a healthy baby) and I said "Then why do I want to fly to Antarctica and lie down in the snow?" Along with chronic insomnia making things even worse. On her recommendation, I got a therapist and we have spent the last few years working through family problems, stress, everything that could affect my cortisol levels. But the thoughts are still there in those sleepless hours. So the therapist recommended a psychiatrist.
After months of procrastination and excuses, I got an appointment. I am terrified of what happens next. But my kid. Well. She needs a dad. My wife says she couldn't do this without me. So just in case... here I go.
Just talking into the void, I guess, but if you read this, hey, thanks. And maybe wish me luck? Or if you've done this before, maybe tell me it's not so scary? I dunno. Anyway.
turtleinatrenchcoat
From a completely random internet person, I’m proud of you for moving forward with this. Working with a psychiatrist isn’t always easy, and medicine can be tricky finding the right one or the right dosage. It’s not always a first try fits type of situation. But as long as you can be open and honest with both your therapist and psychiatrist this could help turn off the call of the void. Word of advice, if they should prescribe medication, don’t just take yourself off of it randomly. Bad time.
VraedenHughes
Getting properly analyzed, diagnosed, and medicated is what has made my life so much better. The eval will be a piece of cake, just don't lie to your doctor's and you should be fine. That is not to say, you have to tell them everything, but it helps. Lastly finding a Psychiatrist that is a good fit is also important, don't feel pressured to stay with anyone, if you don't like them find someone else. You can do this and if you need to DM, I'm here to answer your questions if you have any.
Zootsoot
Ask for a referral to a doc who uses brain scans to diagnose/figure out your meds. It goes WAY faster and takes a lot less misery than “Here, take this for a month”. And ask your doc which meds are the least likely to impact erections, and what options there are if the meds that make you want to stay alive aren’t as penis friendly. :-)
And- this is KEY- don’t stop when you start to feel better. EVER. Your kid will notice and worry that it’s “their fault”- and that scars a kid.
Neednoggle
It's already been said, but I'll echo it; you're doing this right thing. That first step into the unknown is the scariest, but future you will thank you.
SweatyNuts
I have depression and suicidal thoughts. I saw a psychiatrist a few years ago and got put on a mood stabilizer. Luckily it didn't take too long to dial in the dosage. I'm still taking it and it's working great. The thoughts pop up sometimes, though. But they aren't as strong and definitely not as convincing. You got this. It'll get better.
bringbacksocialdistancingplease
Good luck @op
amatte
Heck sometimes you need to vent or talk and therapists are great for being nonjudgmental and will be there don't feel stuck seeing the same one we have different needs at times
STAR266
Red is rad, blue is bad...
WhaleMilker420
to be clear, psychiatry is an MD so they can prescribe medication if warranted. therapist helps you talk through shit. Sometimes, therapists talk with the MD and say shit like "Yo, you got anything that can help this MF not struggle so hard while he's doing the heavy lifting?" Doesn't mean you're obligated to anything, but a consult by a specialist isn't a bad thing.
lonosham
IncrediRis
best decision i ever made
RedWingedBlackbirds
No shame in taking medication. For me, it's a sign that I have "some" mental health to know I need more help and to seek that out. Been on antidepressants for years. Had an outlying winter few years ago when I thought about suicide and it's been YEARS since having anything like that. Wake up call for me to get my doses upped! So glad I already had someone in place!! Best of life to you
Amousewithchees
Think you got your colors mixed up on this boss, Red is Rad blue is bad for this one. Still, keep fighting and staying alive.
Spidey209
Bravery is being afraid and doing it anyway. Good for you.
acaDamien
In February I went up to the hospital and got myself into an IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program). I went 3 hours a night for about a month. It helped and I hope you find the help you need. I still struggle, but not as bad as I was in early Feb. Been struggling since I was like 13 years old. I am 50 now... I didn't hear no bell ring (Randy Marsh), so I am still makin it.
jonestown
Meds made a big difference but it took me a long time to get over my reluctance
malgor24
I have suffered with depression and intrusive thoughts most of my adult life, being completely honest with my evaluator was the best thing I've ever done. True, I ended up in a hospital for a short time, but that gave the doc time to find the right medication. The intrusive thoughts still rear their ugly heads occasionally, but with the right meds, therapy, and meditation, I'm able to process them and let them go. So please, for your and your family's sake's be honest and open. Good Luck!
ohwhenwilldeathcome
Echoing this sentiment. I have not suffered to this degree, but I have suffered with depression since childhood. Getting medicated at 32 was literally life changing. I’m a different person, in the best way possible. I can live and work and cope in ways I never could before. I wish you the same experience if you go on meds. You deserve the chance at living a full life.
My medication motto: If you can’t make your own neurotransmitters, store bought is fine!
Wishing you luck, OP!
HeyOP
Good luck
voltus
You're doing the right thing Id spent my whole life on spiral down and then have to pull my self back out of it. I'd be ok for a bit then back down the spiral. Ended up talking to my doc and getting an sri prescribed and it changed my life no longer am I constantly circling the drain and I can look forward to things
Jezzz
I've had a couple of them, sat with probes stuck on my head, gone through MRI machines, sat at a table with 5+ DRs and Psychs all listening to my answers to questions. It's not that bad lol. Stay logical, these people want to help you, you want to live and enjoy life with your family, be there for your wife and kids etc. Let these people help where they can, medication can help alot, exercise daily helps alot, good diet helps, routine helps, acceptance of your position in life helps. Goodluck!
mithiwithi
The colors are backwards but that doesn't matter. What matters is that you're doing the right thing, not just for your kid, but for your wife and for yourself.
AnxiaTeaDD
Having the support of atleast one person who understands and empathizes with your situation unconditionally will help build the foundation you need to feel better. Youre definitely taking the right step in that direction. Take care of yourself so you can be the best dad to your little one. Let your kiddo be the motivation and light that guides the way:)
Badmusick
I honestly felt relief after my first visit/assessment. Treatment can be a struggle for sure, but it was like, at least I know what I'm fighting instead of getting frustrated, wondering 'why am I like this?!' Best of luck to you from another Internet stranger
NotLuckyDucky
@op take stock of where you are at now mentally (I sometimes do a video) so that way if you get on any meds and you start to spiral into the abyss you can do a check back and go “this isn’t me” which usually helps the spiral and you to know if the meds are making it worse. Meds can be very helpful but sometimes the side effects can go the opposite way. There are plenty of meds to try to get the right one so if you feel like it’s making things worse speak up.
NotLuckyDucky
Oh and tip 2 never come off mental meds cold turkey if you can help it weaning is the best approach or you end up with brain shocks. Some meds require a wean down to every other day to every third day for a week or two. Discussing it with your psych is a good idea. And keep the mental health emergency number handy sometimes having someone to talk to late at night is what we need to keep from doing impulsive things.
alisa2089
I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist for 7 years now, and it’s honestly no bigger a deal than any other specialist. There is no judgement, only talking about what you’re going through and how meds can help you through it. My psych doesn’t focus on actual diagnosis’s for me, but my therapist did help me with that part. I wish I had started seeing them sooner, they are a huge help when I mentally can’t handle my disabilities. You totally got this!
Micah1966
Good for you for doing it, despite your fears. Do you know that this is REAL bravery? It's not brave to do things when you're not scared to do them. It's brave to do them EVEN when you're scared to do them.
But you've already had therapy. This is no different. It's just someone who's gonna see what meds would be good for you. That is the least scary part of therapy, imo.
For the next part, tell your psych how the meds make you feel. Meds are individual, what works for one does not for another>
Micah1966
and your dose may be too low or too high. And different times ask for different meds, so what works now does not necessarily works for always. Don't be afraid to be a bother with this, your psych is (or should be used to) people whose meds are not doing what they're supposed to. And be aware that it can take a few weeks for the meds to kick in and that bad responses often disappear after that time.
Good luck OP. You're doing a brave thing, for yourself and for your family. Be proud of yourself.
TeaStainOnMyKitchenFloor
It took me years to a realise my moods was chemical and not just stresses in my life. I would go through phases where I was happy but deep down depressed. I got diagnosed with bipolar and I got the right medication. I've been stable and happy for multiple years now. You'd be surprised how quickly medication works when there is something chemically off in your brain. You can't think your way out of it. I would suggest still carrying on with therapy to find other coping mechanisms in case.
SweatyNuts
Do you have "highs"? My depression is cyclical like bipolar but I don't have any moods that could be described as "manic" or "high". But like you, I have moods where I'm happy but in the back of my mind I'm ready for the end.
TeaStainOnMyKitchenFloor
I have hypo mania. So I get phases where the energy is unreal but mania is usually include an element of delusion. Best thing to do is write a diary and score how you feel from 1-10. You should be around 5 most days. With 0 being I want to kill myself and 10 is I want to run around naked in the rain. You can start to see patterns
SweatyNuts
Good suggestion. Thank you!
n3ckr0mantic
Cruxia13
Red is rad, blue is bad.
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BrockEffingSamson
Sorry for the downvotes, I thought it was funny.