nordicKitten
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Starting to finally write my own campaigns! (Also gonna fight off those pesky ads for you guys
A dozen word documents later...
"...why are you guys like this"
-the remaining cleric, probably
DM's greatest ally is the players imagination
Damn rogues.
Damn murder paladins.
The cutest, and most useful race.
Arbitrary riddles inbound.
'Diplomacy'
No ads :)
"Get 'em boy"
RIP Clever plots
Poor poor barbarian
No words. No ads I guess :)
Like I said. Best race.
"Hold my beer" -the bard, before one awful idea
No ads :)
'That one person'
Lots of love for DMs
Poor Pacifist.
Bard, carrying out such bad idea
Sneky DM's
"And they lived happily ever after"
No ads :)
After the DM takes the murderhobo out
Sir Bearington
'The kind introduction'
^Wizard sighs^
For any DM's who want to goof off
Just a cute one to keep the others baited ;)
No ads :)
They'll never learn
^half the party crying their eyes out later^
^laughs, in lawful pain^
For anyone who's just here out of curiosity and might join us :)
-Murderhobos
'Play my pretties. Play!'
^laughs in skelly^
"Well played"
^DM visibly unimpressed^
-literally needing to protect the objective from half your own party-
'Definitely not fake cat tax for the disconcerting'
BatLadyRielle
I get so excited about the encounters I put together and I want to tell my BFF but he's my husband and also in the game. =(
Lostchild12
One group I DM'd seriously thought it was my job to kill them. They flee if it looked hard. Didn't need to kill them, they killed themselves
Doopapotamus
#2 Isn't this the whole joke about how Exalted works?
kislehobb
I adore how much D&D there is recently
nordicKitten
Thought I could share some of the best bits I had taken from various places
AceBandito
#5 "..Ok, so your character is *100% sure* there is nothing in the room."
PotatOSLament
But your character is an idiot.
ReverendAurora
I'm about to start running Infinity, the RPG based off the mini wargame. It's gonna be fun.
PopeBruce
I feel like everyone forgets that bards can be 20+ ac grapple tanks very well.
mccar7hy
Always thought it was strange as a DM to do a campaign somebody else wrote
Killacayne
Never played D&D but after all the memes I kind of want to now
parasztarcal
I really recommend looking at other systems too.
nordicKitten
Memes brought me into the fold- the game is as fun as the posts make it seem, just a matter of having the right DM and party.
IThinkYouGotAFineBrainJack
#2 from the players perspective: DnD Group: ......... DM: *prepares 3 hour PowerPoint presentation on backstory*
BoozeHound001
My current game: Players infected 20th level wizard council as wererats and players lost all clues and leads in the cluster fuck they made
educatedfool25
#1 Literally me right now. I was so generous in the first two sessions that one player asked me later why the post-fight loot got worse
ArdentSlacker
As a GM, I have 2 skills. I am the rules-lawyer, and I will suggest fun OP things to my players. And I have an evil laugh. Expectations 1+
ArdentSlacker
2/2 are usually set well. Aaaaand I just have to hold out until scheduling kills the game. :( Nobody's figured out where I suck yet.
nordicKitten
I'm sure you're players are loving it!
kylania
These are fantastic!
LordOfNapTime
Can I have a halfling who is really tall? Like a Shaq-sized when compared to other halflings? Would you still get the stealth buffs?
nordicKitten
You'd have to have a battle of the wills with whom ever would be DMing your campaign
nordicKitten
"It ain't much, but it's honest work."
reddrummer93
Whats a good site to play online?
nordicKitten
I would recommend roll20- but nothing beats just video calling with a group, and all just playing as if you were in the same room
RachTrap
If you're making an encounter based off one character's fears and that fear is losing the support and love of their friends and family what
RachTrap
you do is have a extremely high level illusion spell cast over them, that makes them believe their friends and family are attacking them
RachTrap
which makes them lash out at them, only, they are perceiving their partymates as the attackers. So he will not only be facing his fears of
RachTrap
losing the love and support of friends and family, they're now attacking him, and he feels he needs to defend himself. Which would be a hard
RachTrap
thing to do, to try and fight off your friends and family.
HouseoftheRisingWaffle
Roll Bluff on that cat tax.
EffectOfLegend
7
nordicKitten
I legit just nat. 1'ed rolling my dice here...Gonna have to ask if I can get advantage on this
HouseoftheRisingWaffle
Only if you use the funny accent.
nordicKitten
Aye, well I took 'nother shot at 'it and I gotta 17
Zyrixion
https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/random_number.png
HouseoftheRisingWaffle
Curse of K4.
ASimpleImgurAccount
I have to miss my next 2 sessions because I'm going to be on airplanes :( Hope I dont suffer from withdrawal.
Cheomesh
#1 No, that's me too. Unfortunately some players just don't seem to jive the struggle between heaven and here.
TakNoPants
but , Umber hulks have opposable thumbs
macsnoname
Hey @op do you have the sauce for the magic licking things one? I know it's a longshot but I'd really like to see how she figured it out
nordicKitten
'yourplayersaidwhat' is the original posting place on Tumblr- I would know, screenshotted that myself
macsnoname
Awesome! Thank you!
CarlSaganRulez
RE: hard time coming up with foe for "Losing the love and support of my friends" - Have you met my friend, Illithid?
RevvyDrawsStuff
One time my DM came up with a complicated puzzle involving choosing a correct door out of several options (1/2)
RevvyDrawsStuff
Our resident insane dragonborn solved it by basically going 'WAT DIS DO' and happening to pick the correct door. My DM almost cried (2/2)
nordicKitten
^DM sighs as the party proceeds to break another puzzle instead of solving it^
ReverendAurora
Oh I remeber a trap I sprung on my players, room with a lock mechanism under a trap door in the floor, how hard can it be? The rogue goes in
ReverendAurora
and then the doors shut and the room fills with water. He aces it. Says "It's fine, I can do this in my sleep"
ReverendAurora
All the party gets into the room and then he fails, he fails, he fails some more. The dwarf is almost drowning at this point,
ReverendAurora
all his armour is on the floor, he's doggy paddling to save his life. The rogue fails again, now everyone's in trouble.
ReverendAurora
The Dwarf is gulping at the air, knowing that soon it'll be all over. We're officially 20 seconds away form a TPK at this point.
SugaSwish
i've always wanted to play D&D :(
sarikitty
If you can't find a local game, you can play online at roll20.net :>
nordicKitten
I'd recommend crawling around the people you know, trying to find some people who feel likewise. Or otherwise a local club.
BoozeHound001
I think #37 is very valid. It is also a valid argument on why the rest of the party kills you and the guards toss your corpse to the dogs
nordicKitten
Respect to that one player who attempts to cooperate with the DM in order to keep the IC somewhat unmeta
ReverendAurora
"It's in my charcater" works for off the wall things. Like my gnome building a one shot mangonel.
ReverendAurora
It should be shat upon from a great height when used to derail the DM's plans.
BoozeHound001
I'm saying if that's their argument for doing negative shit, it's a valid argument to use against them.
ReverendAurora
Oh yeah, sure. "It's what my character would do" "The NPC kills you for sleeping with his wife,
ReverendAurora
murdering his children and burning down the orphanage.""bUT i'M A pc"
sunyudai
*rolls sense motive on cat tax* ...5. "Something's fucky." *rolls appraise on cat tax*.... 22. "Well, you appear to have overpaid."
nordicKitten
I'll take Gp in compensation.
SkiptheMighty
I'm using the lingering injury alternate rules, the party has lost an eye, an arm, and one has a gut wound, I don't save my players
SkiptheMighty
they are level one
nordicKitten
The poor poor bastards.
ReverendAurora
I had a bunch of players, who, in the middle of a dungeon decided to go get a mattress from one of the staterooms in the above castle
ReverendAurora
On their way back they are ambushed by a passing patrol (anyone who's ever moved a mattress knows how hard it is to do that quietly)
ReverendAurora
the Rogue runs off and finds himself in the Kitchen at just before dinner time, so it's packed with chefs, scullery maids, kitchen boys
ReverendAurora
, you name it. He attempts to leap and slide down the long table on which all prep is done. One of the chefs decides to swing with his
ReverendAurora
cleaver and hits. I tell the Rogue to make a fort save, he passes and slides further onto another chef who does the same
ReverendAurora
Wizards start the game lamenting why everyone has better spells than them and end it by destroying the world with one gesture.
ReverendAurora
While any spellcasting class can perhaps do that, they have to specialise so bad that they're a one trick pony, or they play a divine class
ReverendAurora
which doesn't have the spells to do that. Wizards are so OP, power, versatility, survivability.
ReverendAurora
Sorcerers can pick either power or survivability, hardly ever both. And never versatility becuase of their Known spells limitation.
stja
#1 "Okay, let's see your reflex roll... [Rolled a 1 in secret]" <...< >...> "Okay, that's a 14. You'll survive - though barely."
confanity
Nah, players catch on sooner or later if you play with no actual stakes. Make sure you're being fair, and let the dice roll where they may.
nordicKitten
letting the occasional unwarranted nat 1 slide for the sake of not derailing all the party's hard work, sit right with you?
confanity
If ALL their work is derailed by a single setback, then there are structural problems with the campaign that go far beyond individual rolls.
nordicKitten
It's a structural problem that they could lose a fight?
confanity
No. It's a structural problem if literally ALL their work can be undone by a single setback. Losing a fight shouldn't "undo all their work."
stja
I am not saying "no stakes". I am saying, sometimes the rules of entertainment and storytelling demand I give them a little leeway. [1]
stja
I am NOT going to let a honestly brilliant and well thought out (or hilarious enough) plan fizzle out and fail because of one bad roll. [2]
confanity
2. And if a plan is "hilarious," then failure can and should also be hilarious, which is all the more reason to allow failure to happen.
confanity
1. If a plan fails because of one bad roll, it wasn't "brilliant." Truly brilliant plans are the ones that can adapt to setbacks.
GriffinMann41
#1 hits me hard because I *want* to be mean and bully my players but at the same time most of my groups put TONS of effort into them...
blackdove
Don't bully players, but feel free to make them fucking earn their happy ending
RachTrap
Wizards: take years studying meticulously so they can take even the simplest spell and making it grander (unless you play 5e and then they)
RachTrap
(got shit on because metamagic went exclusively to sorcerers). Sorcerers: Yes we have magic in our blood, but it takes time to learn to
RachTrap
control it, and in the end we do not know as much as a wizard, nor can we easily learn new spells by studying them.
RachTrap
Cleric: I have spent years in service to my god, and by their grace they have allowed me to become a conduit for their divinity. Even though
RachTrap
it is a gift, I must be taught the proper methods and rituals. Druids: I revere nature so much, that I have either learned to become attuned
RachTrap
with the natural magic of the world, or by divine providence have I been granted the powers of nature, to defend her when need be.