reclusivegiraffe
212080
5335
408
This just got forwarded to me. Are there... Really people who have trouble with these things?
GRiMGRiZ
god i just love all of the tumblr commentary that points out the joke in the image, totally doesn't kill it or anything
CISMaleScumLord
I'm assuming that "end it" is a valid adult answer to what do you want to do with your life.
SaikyoStyle
Too much Buzzfeed.
Whatevenisrelevant
You nincompoop, it's pronounced ee-eye-there
ENCHANTMEN
d3vilsavocado
#14 these rules are getting ridiculous. I'm supposed to change my undies frequently now?!
d3vilsavocado
#13 goddamnit I counted wrong
JoTaPu
James Pond, underwater agent good amiga game. totally forgot until i saw that picture.
beeblebrx
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Pond
Zreen
#1 "Computer, remove the plank!"
ThisIsTheBestICanDo
I say eether for something negative, and I-ther for options. Ex. "I don't want to ee-ther." Vs "you can I-ther have A or B."
DanteLidge
I am 1/7th of a supreme adult, the last one is the only one I know
DanteLidge
And maybe the second, so 2/7ths
Hawaii5Hoe
#16 my grandfather passed away last night and this made me laugh. Thank you OP
ThisWitchCrafts
It’s the weirdest fucking thing coming across your own tweet on a front page post... y’all are awesome.
reclusivegiraffe
is that one of your tweets, then? i applaud you. you have reached a meme lord level.
ThisWitchCrafts
Lol yup! That’s me! I always knew I was destined for greatness...
LifesLittleLunatic
That poor hamster l feel bad for laughing
SoMuchPooPooSon
"There's a word for that". Definition has two words.
imgurcommocrugmi
And is also entirely unrelated to what they were talking about.
maximinusthrax1
I'm not afraid of teenagers, I simply can't stand them...I think I'm good on the adulting scale right?
PartiallyShavedSasquatch
Ive been told I eat like a convict since childhood. My mom used to swat me to get me to stop hovering over my food like smegal
RevvyDrawsStuff
My bf worked in juvenile corrections. After seeing him eat the kids often asked if he'd been to jail.
BluePaladin42
I managed to impress a vet with how fast I eat. In a "Not bad for a civ," kind of way.
RaynWisp
I read that as smegma and I can't even right now...
LoopStricken
Take solace in the fact that you're not alone.
whydouwanttoknow
My 8 year old daughter does this and eats extremely fast at every meal. It drives me crazy and I’m not sure why lol
iSoulend
Just so we're clear, you do NOT mean that she used to call the cops on you ? It seems obvious but you got me wonderin with the convict thing
Knillis
Probably not
bleghdfsdjh
POLICE DROP THAT FUCKING TWINKY NOW OR I WILL OPEN FIRE.
NoeCarrier
Eating like a convict = hunched over your food do nobody can steal it at the prison dinner table.
PartiallyShavedSasquatch
I wrapped my arms around my plate and hunched over it in a style that is common in prisons. She didn't call the cops on me.
draagmad
BaitnSwitch
"To be the kind of girl designed to be kissed upon the eyes" - The Fantasticks
Mynameisaninnuendo
Am I the only one that played the game "James Pond" for Sega?
Pataar
#1 - Flashback to when my neighbor let me and my brother play with his power washer to wash his bikes. Brother shot me in the throat with it
Corona688
He's an asshole. Those things can kill you.
Pataar
Upvote because yes. I was scared shitless and it felt like forever until I could breathe again. Fun fact, he just got his first firearm.
Pataar
Couldn't breathe for a few seconds, felt like I got the wind sucked out of me with a gut punch... to the throat. I think I was 8 or 9?
ObsidianChef
Things that never happened..
Corona688
I see no reason why it couldn't.
LindyShock
Nothing ever happens
Flyndaran
No parent has ever held a grudge or a promise in all of recorded history. Nope. Never happened.
CaptainGoogleIt
Why would someone make up such a story I know a lot of stories on the internet are fakie but not this cuz I know many parents lik youe this
MrDamige
#6 1 yup, 2 yup, 3 yup, (damn, I'm mature), 4 yup, 5 yup (Smugly assumes I'm the adult referred to), oh... crud, starts crying
intolerable
#6 I got only two. So I’m not an adult yet, what a relief!
JermainJerome
Ewww, buzzfeed
reclusivegiraffe
i know, i know
invertedzenarm
#7 written by a feminist, obviously.
Valondra
Damn those serious ones.
invertedzenarm
Well I fucked that up didn’t I. #8
LindyShock
Well those terms are already unnecessarily deragotary. Feminist or not, do you really disagree with the message?
imgurcommocrugmi
Yes.
LordChappers
Made a mistake? Must be a woman!
HeyOP
PartiallyShavedSasquatch
Well, if they did, it's because she was at that time fucking other people and not them.
HeyOP
Sure.
FatCatTax
#2 -
DanteLidge
Yea, can't be a williams, he's a Pond now!
daverabbich
LoopStricken
But he's orange...
Zenzui
#8 As far as I've seen feminist means: "Woman with unthinking pathological hatred of men who literally blames them for everything."
reclusivegiraffe
that would be Misandry, not Feminism.
reclusivegiraffe
which sadly there is a lot of
Zenzui
I've unfortunately found that misandry is wrapped up in the assumptions of every feminist popular theory I have ever read.
Fistouille
Are you really showing us ifunny and buzzfeed screenshots?
reclusivegiraffe
i don't go on ifunny, and i usually try to avoid buzzfeed. i only go on buzzfeed when i'm sick and bored as all hell.
Foutsikas19
Buzzfeed ones are just cringe
Fistouille
That LOL stamp!
ItsThoseZanyGermans
That's just bad planning/programming when your pizza-ordering app doesn't have a limiter.
frikadeli
Idk unlimited pizza seem kind of nice to me
StarryGrapes
You go, Frikadeli. Speak the truth
Fenrax
fortunately it never happened
MungoVitoGotHellaCats
Or requires you to prepay...
somenerandom
Plus a person that sees a TWO THOUSAND pizza order and doesn't go "hm I should reconfirm this with the customer" shouldn't be a manager.
NotoriousDuchess
$10000 for 20 pizzas? Huh.
2000boxes
maybe they were trying to order pizza for an entire convention
JHawke
We once ordered from a local fries place at a company party. Food for FIFTY! people, they phoned and asked to deliver in 2 parts to avoid >
JHawke
> it getting cold and they were only 2 streets over anyways. what kind of food place CAN even make 1000 pizzas in a reasonable time.
ElbowDeepInMythicalCreatures
Pizzafire?
illegalacorn
or maybe they were just laughing about it
bogus1983
Or maybe somebody lied on the internet.
raidleadergutts
http://imgur.com/7TfkBzj
bogus1983
Naiirita
You hang bananas so they ripen.
DownVoteVerifier
Would you hang b1 or b2 first?
easytigger
You hang bananas in punishment for their crimes.
Flyndaran
Kind of works with hoboes. They do smell ripe.
h0125t
does this work with people? i feel a little childish and i think i need to ripen..
Corona688
My bananas have no trouble ripening far too fast even without that. I think this is the opposite.
Naiirita
Hanging them while they ripen lessens the bruising.
blaChek
Will you come to my birthday party?
chance2120
Nize426
Huh, always just thought that was where bananas go just for convenience. Like putting paper towel on a paper towel holder.
Keicars
So that's what my cousin was doing
ItWasCool
in addition, it wasn't a can opener.
Jakethesnake357
If you separate them they blacked slower. Verified.
quattroformaggix4
'they blacked" Is this a thing we are saying now?
Zandrake
Yes, it refers to being ravaged by one or more BBC's.
YoloTomatoJuice
Oh, I thought it was a punishment of death by hanging...
mastikator
They aren't killed. They are bananished
YouDontHaveToScrollBackUp
jhlongm
Went from down voting you to up voting you once I saw that username. Keep it up yo
RenaldoMooon
Huh. I thought you hang bananas so they don’t bruise.
Naiirita
I should have said ripen better, ie less bruising.
Zandrake
That's the truth. I'm fairly certain no one has issues with bananas ripening. You look away for a second and they're already brown and mushy
sevrono
I'm pretty sure this is the correct answer
SparklingCockWaffle
This is in fact accurate. Dont believe it has anything to do with them ripening
whatismynameagain
This makes so much more sense
theforceiswith
Bananas (as well as all fruit) actually ripen more quickly if you put them in paper bags. Has to do with a gas they give off.
Kage197
So you don't need to put an apple in there?
Enoan
Strawberries ripen faster near ripe strawberries.
rj9125
Also, keeping them attached to each other causes them to ripen faster.
Naiirita
Its not so they ripen faster, its so they ripen without bruising.
BDBones
When bananas are delivered to stores they're delivered under a plastic tarp thing so they ripen quicker in transit.
arbitrarycarbonbasedentity
Ethylene
theforceiswith
Yup that's it.
cracklinoatbran
My favorite Bush song.
comepatsy
housev1l
Yeah, like I need my bananas to go brown even faster.
Storyainthadnomoral
Yeah, like I need THAT IN MY LIFE
jasonddgs
Bananas with more brown spots tend to be sweeter and softer
OracleForCheap
Well, I mean, I prefer brown bananas to those who have even a hint of green in them; the brown ones are closer to how they're supposed to be
itsppearsyoucanindeed
The brown ones are great for smoothies
DosedDane
Banana bread as well! A much better banana flavour for cooking
LincolnSiixEcho
Eww
DarkUranium
That's racist!