Tales from the Bowling Alley

So I work at a bowling alley... these are some of my most memorable moments on the job.

My shift ended before he could come in, but according to my co-worker he asked for me and he was hot.

People often underestimate how long a game will take to bowl. If you're 3-4 people, a game lasts around 30-40 minutes. If you're 5-6, expect it to take you almost an hour, if not longer, to play one game.

We have three signs and I say it about 10 times per transaction.

Seriously though, why do you deserve a discount?

This was a pretty scary moment for me and my co-worker. We sat him behind the counter with me and got him a glass of water, while I called the cops. The cops walked us through asking the kid about his parents and their phone number, they were able to contact his mother. While I was waiting for the officer and his parents, the birthday kid's parent showed up looking distraught and became angry with me when I refused to let the child go with him, but the cop showed up just on time to calm them down.

WHY MUST I GO THROUGH THIS TORTURE?!

Some people have been bowling here for over 30 years and still didn't know this.

Gross.

My co-worker went to the washroom while I was serving a group. One of their friends disappeared, we assumed she went to the washroom, while I was handing out shoes so I told them to send her over when she got back. As they leave to go to their lane I see someone poke their head out of the bar, thinking it was my imagination I ignored it until she stumbled out asking about the bartender. I look up at her and she shoves her hand behind her back and see something spill to the floor. I called her out on it and she put it down on the counter, so that was nice.

Despite the fact that it's annoying when someone blatantly ignores you, it's hilarious to watch them find the reset button. My co-workers and I live for these small pleasures.

Parent: "How long should they be?"
Me: "You bought an hour, sir... so they'll be done in an hour."

The parent literally left them alone for a whole hour. I spent the first 20 minutes constantly having to discipline them as they started throwing 2-3 balls at the same time and running down the lanes.

We regularly give out warnings for closing time. I'm sorry you decided to take a 30 minute "smoke" break, but I'm not going to let you finish your half played game or else I'd be stuck here until 2am. Not to mention, I probably wouldn't get paid for that extra hour.

I politely declined and called the cops, because I definitely did not look like I was over the age of 18 at the time. Head office was asked to send the cops the security footage, but I don't think they ever did.

WOW YOUR JOKE IS SO FUNNY I'VE DEFINITELY NEVER HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE