Veszy
480557
6141
112
The beast I had to open.
creepy bible
Aaaaaand the plethora of fun jokes for the whole family
YAY marbles
found a box of spoons beside the larger chest as well. thought i'd share
Prev- http://imgur.com/gallery/uN5rk
Prev http://imgur.com/gallery/MSe2rdt
HONESTLY. i'm fucking hammered. so WHOEVER writes the best poem to me. I will send a handfulll of these marbles to you. and probably a potato or something as well
PurestStrainOfHate
I adore that a Bible is in the same box as that joke book.
DoorToDoorWikipediaSalesman
MRW reading the jokes
mro2692mro
Dont think that bible saw much use.
SweetAndSourBabyJesus
What do you get if you have a green ball in each hand? Kermit's undivided attention lolol
firstwhiteranger
Where are jokes 101 to 147? We need em!
TheDudeanator
Someone should retype those jokes into a legible format.
Snownel
If you search number 6, you'll find a site with 143 of them.
liveslowwheneverfaultier
Why do black people smell so bad?- So blind people can hate them too. O.o
jeanzleezy
I'm dying over here
dantron
The checkmark next to 149, "killed it with that one at the dinner party"
brokendalek
Coming from a nonwhite person, these are some of the best jokes I've ever read.
reddenbocker
These jokes are HORRIBLE. They made me wince more than laugh, and were racist as hell.
ArjenRobben
What's yellow and ugly and sleeps alone?
ArjenRobben
Yoko Ono.
TheRedOnesTasteLikeBurning
HAHA it's funny because it's true.
republicofme
The undivided attention of Kermit the frog
OhTobiasYouBlowhard
My favorite
ThePeasantAtTheDiner
ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE SECRET JOURNAL!?!?!?!
DanielReader
woooooooow those jokes are from another time alright, I was not prepared for that level of racist joke today
Sinus23
One of my friends in school was an encyclopedia of tasteless jokes when he was 11-12 years old.I have heard at least 20% of those before.1/2
Sinus23
But that was about 25 years ago.
wolfenbones
79 he is not wrong http://www.freewebs.com/sage86/Images/grand-theft-auto-san-andreas-screen-shot6.jpg
Veszy
I genuinely want to play marbles after finding these...
adelheid130
I love those spoons.
TheMagicalLioplurodon
Old antique spoons can be worth shitloads of money, worth looking into!
AreaResident
Here's my poem! A spoon, a Bible, cruel jokes, toys of glass, does this not speak to the nature of being an ass?
tentaclefriendly
You may want to point a geiger counter at those marbles. Some old colors of glass were made by including traces of radioactive elements.
Silversyx
You may look into the worth of the marbles. some of them go for crazy amounts to collectors.
TheViper69
Poem "Here I sit broken hearted came to shit and only farted."
ThatChickWho
Check on the worth of the spoons too, there are some crazy collectors out there
OneOfFiveGuysNamedMoe
Judging by the Roman Polanski joke, this stuff is 80s at best (certainly not 40s)
plazmatyk
#86 if anyone's curious but can't bear to read the whole thing.
jsnen
Also Bo Derek and the movie Ten (1979)
freethelibrarians
The jokes also appear to have been typed up on a n early word processor.
ColoradoStateRams
And all the Iranian references. Iranian hostage crisis would be 80s
arrowhen
A couple of them reference the Atlanta murders of 79-81.
senefen
Also mention of test tube babies. First IVF baby was born in '78.
LonLonRanchDressing
I own those exact marbles and I do believe their shining moment was circa 1986
MyLastUsernameWasSoLongIKeptForgettingIt
Still funny as fuck, so I don't care.
JoblessJimbo
All those dirty racist jokes and then the one about Kleenex.
litterboxjen
Also Muppets jokes
humbook
Why don't black babies play in the sandbox is from the 80s????
AlbinoRhino53
I would be willing to bet they are from the "Tasteless Jokes" book series from around that time. A plethora of Hellen Keller jokes in those
GasBandit
The "Polocks" in the Iranian Zoo trying to free the OSTRICHES is a reference to the Iranian HOSTAGE crisis.
Veszy
Sorry you're correct. I was just acting smart and guessing a random point in time haha. i'll fix it tho, thanks :)
Jerenemy
Haha. I like your honesty.
nation543
should get those spoons looked at. but don't take them to pawn stars.
MissBossyPants
I've got a buddy who's an expert in spooning...lemme give him a quick call and we'll see what we can do.
viineri
Yeah, joke #151 has a reference to apocalypse now (1979)
ZinthenameoftheMeatball
#152 Kermit the frog, that should be a dead giveaway.
DoingItWrongSince1980
Plus I remember my Dad telling me some of these in the early 90's, so they were probably popular on his Navy ship not long before that.
LosPer
It genuinely makes me happy that all those jokes are now completely inappropriate to tell...
GeocentristTruthMachine
They were inappropriate to tell at the time they were written too. That's the entire idea of tasteless comedy.
Choc113
They are being told here in this comment thread. So not really:(
LosPer
In an anonymous Internet forum. I'm talking more in public in broad daylight...if you know what I mean.
Choc113
They where never THAT mainstream. Maybe in a bar with friends but not to someone you just met.
luckyflavor23
Omg is that vintage louis Vuitton?
[deleted]
[deleted]
luckyflavor23
indeedy, wish they had some closer shots of those. NEED MOAR ZOOM
dokidokes
Thought the same thing. If that is legit Louis Vuitton leather, it's arguably the most valuable thing.
luckyflavor23
interweb search is not helpful with such a popular brand.
w0ntoan
5 petal flower? I dont think so?
ominousdusk
This! Why was there no attention to this!
JayBaruchelFanClub
The real monogram is different though.
luckyflavor23
was first thought since OP's bible was quite old i was hoping it was early style
rckchlkjyhwk
I think it would have the LV monogram on it if it was.
bimmerblondie
It wouldn't if it's from before the 20's. We have my grandmas old stuff.
esgelrothion
I'm jealous! One of the things I want when I'm rich is LV hard sided luggage.
luckyflavor23
I'm trying to see if there was a period before the LV letters were introduced on the print...hard to search such a popular brand...lol
Yourippaadeespantsyoumendadeespants
I think a lot, if not all, of these are from Truly Tasteless Jokes, a book I saw passed around as a kid.
Yourippaadeespantsyoumendadeespants
and, um, memorized.
Delith
Wow, that book brings back memories!
Gnoll
Did you hear about the Polish troops? They got caught in an Iranian zoo trying to free the Ostriches! HAHHAAHAHaaaahh... I don't get it.
Rachelvis
Ostriches=Hostages
Gnoll
Is there a world even I should know about, or is it just making fun of someones pronunciation?
Rachelvis
In 1979 60 or so Americans were taken hostage in Iran. Ostriches=Hostages I think it's a play on words and a stab at "pollacks" stupidity.
Choc113
Ironic as the USA's hostage rescue attempt turned in to a total clusterfuck.
FabricatiDiemPvnc
In the midst of all those jokes, the perfectly g-rated "why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don't know the words"
alsotinybutdangerous
positively dadly, that one.
Cyri
"Why do they call camels the ships of the desert? Because they're full of Iranian seamen." LMFAO
Whitney189r
A true work of art.
MarlinCivetta
First thing I read and lol'd
JesusLives
Why is Ray Charles smiling all the time?..Because he doesn't know he's black. Wow
bwchronos
Get it? Because he can't see his own skin color.
jackwhitesotherotherotherband
He loved that one.
HowDoYouMakeAnElephantFloat
Heard it before
okbluejays
Holy fuck.
SexDrugsDubstepVEVO
Have you seen his wife? He neither did... Haha
Veszy
Knock Knock...
henriksen1
I'm glad you're choosing that path rather than becoming a racist stand up comedian.
ThaBakersman
whose there?
Veszy
no one go inside
flyingdutchman86
Who's there?
Veszy
...nobody
flyingdutchman86
Nobody who?
lemonbalm
Who's there?
Veszy
You're adopted.
PhillyFlash
Arapahoe
StephanieWasTheTrueVillainOfLazyTown
Arapahoe who?
PhillyFlash
Arapahostess Twinkie around my cock so the big girls will blow me
StallisDad
Why do women have two holes so close together? So you can carry them home like a six pack.... dear lord!
DC1123
oww
HowDoYouMakeAnElephantFloat
Heard it before
bewareofmeg
I laughed, REALLY hard at that one.
thatzunpossible
I don't think I know how to hold a six pack cause I really don't get that :o
ArdentSlacker
Experiment in a grocery store. Thumb in one spot, middle finger another. And, ah... on the CANS. Or you may be on a sex registry...
somethinglessserious
"Why do women have legs? So they don't leave snail trails everywhere they go" had me cackling and I'm a girl.
YesIChangedMyNameAgain
"On the linoleum floor"
chantellie
Hahaha me too.
ThomMerrilin
Why are camels called the ships of the desert? Because their full of Iranian seamen
OurLordAndSaviourPikachu
What's the difference between a Pizza and a Jew?
StephanieWasTheTrueVillainOfLazyTown
You can't make soap out of a pizza.
OurLordAndSaviourPikachu
My family doesn't eat pizza for Thanksgiving dinner.
StrangeBrewAndCanadianBaconForBreakfastEH
I've got a buddy who's an expert in tiny old attic spoons. Let me give him a call.
mikokatsun
i left and came back to upvote this +1 well done
RicosRoughNecks
( commercial break )
SomeJerk
best I can do is 25 cents
Wyrtz
SomeJerk offered me 25 cents!
BatsuitsNipples
but your expert said 5 hundred
endlesssnamelesss
It's gonna sit on my take forever to sell. 27 cents best I can do
SomeJerk
Alright I might be able to bump it up to 30 cents but that's the highest I'll go
skullion
"Why do Jews have such big noses?... Because the air is free". My. God.
melindypants
Hahaha gold.
YouSufferWithCognitiveDissonance
Why did Barbra Streisand own 7 houses? Because you can't fit that snozze into one house.
StephanieWasTheTrueVillainOfLazyTown
teehee
UncleTompa
"What's a boy doing with a full ashtray? Looking for his parents"
TurdsOfWisdom
That's probably the best Jew joke I haven't heard before.
IAmNewHere
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW??
BecauseRacecars
Why do shower heads have eleven holes? Jews only have ten fingers
Pharya
"Did you hear the one about the Italian who cleaned out his ears and his head caved in?"
secondbest
I hate to break it to you, but that God of yours seems pretty anti-semetic to me.
cobrien77
Marbellous
cniht
Bet they regretted that shit in the gas chambers though.
StephanieWasTheTrueVillainOfLazyTown
It's hard to tell over all the screaming.
howjom
(I love this one)
jcshishka
What did the Jewish pedophile say to the kid? Hey kid wanna buy some candy
ItalianPizza91
oh nose jew didn't
bassboss
Have you guys seriously never heard these? Am I that messed up?
heretoupvoteshitup
Why don't Jews go down on anyone? Too close to the gas chamber...
wickedleeloo
Oh God
MstrDarTCG
These jokes will make me the hit of the next party I go to!
ArdentSlacker
Cards Against Humanity already exists though.
piscesdreamer
What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall? He breaks his nose.
GetBackToWorkYouFool
Jew nose it!
SounderOxner
COX
dogenuggets
Sheesh, show semeticquette!
LittleShit
"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?"... "A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven." My God too. My. God. Too.
cowboyshooter
EnterDMZ
What's the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the oven.
TurdsOfWisdom
I think I knew this joke in the womb
StephanieWasTheTrueVillainOfLazyTown
I bet I knew it before Jew did.
Gaylenin
Or at least once you didn't go to art school
Wenisfriend
"Define Jewish Foreplay. Two hours of begging." I can feel my soul dying from how racist that was.
kriositivity
The oven one is pretty bad too but they seem to hate all races...
ArdentSlacker
What's Jewish about that? Sounds like stereotypical bad marriage sex.
kristouph
Some one typed all those jokes and probably passed them around like we forward emails.
baconbabyjesus
I remember someone passing around some typed sheets containing all the blonde jokes in the early 90s, so yeah I think you're right
DoingItWrongSince1980
No, this is a print out sometime between 1982 and 1995. I heard half of these as a kid in that time frame.
arrowhen
It looks typed to me; in those days a printout would most likely have been dot-matrix and the typoes would have been fixed.
ThinkOfABetterNameLater
There are a few references to the Atlanta Child Murders of '79-'81, so it's definitely no older than that.
MadPoopah
And still this guy treasured them enough to lock them up.
ArdentSlacker
Yoko Ono is a bit of a clue.
bewareofmeg
So is the Roman Polanski one.
j3nocide
Wait, was the bible filled with racist jokes?
thegriffin88
It is if you look hard enough.
ShapeShifterCharlieFrancis
Yeah, but that was before King James edited them out.
cntdstr0yr
heyyooo!!!
sirwilliambillion
THIS IS THE FUCKING COMMENT OF THE WEEK!!!
TheInternetIsSeriousBusiness
This made my shitty day a little less shitty. +1
cathysaurus
I didn't realize hating Polish people was once A Thing.
PaganRaven
My Nana is Polish and my Dad used to tell Polish jokes whenever she was around. None as bad as some of these though.
NotSoSmartAlek
It's still a thing in Russia
drizzler
My family is German but by step grandpa is super Polish and my great uncle would always make these types of jokes to him.
laude
Green side up Polack
slackur
It's awesome that you didn't know it was A Thing. Maybe things are getting better because... humanity.
MeSoMerry
I had no idea Italian jokes were a thing! Kinda makes me proud
MyCouchPullsOutButIDoNot
I'm from a czech community in the us and umm, yea, it's our go to people to make fun of.
ithinkiamgonnajustgoshithereyoucantrytostopme
In Mass, you can hear 2 "polack" jokes for every black joke you hear down south. It's so.. well.
iamapollack
I still get made fun of to this day
HalloweenAintTillManana
Really? God damn skis!
Aranyszin
Every identifiable group has been the subject of bigoted humor: Irish, Jews, Catholics, Polish, Italians.. now they are all lawyer jokes.
ImMoose
neither did I, and I'm a Polish girl so a lot of these were directed at people like me. I feel pretty awful for it now too, damn.
cathysaurus
Don't worry what small minded people think.
kerbie
I'm from Canada .. we're not allowed to make fun of anyone
ubergeek64
We don't *want* to. Everyone is welcome here.
AngelsinmyMouthfield
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO STOP!?
WhimsicalCalamari
I heard from my parents that a lot of common blonde jokes were just jokes about Polish people that had been repurposed.
bombadil92
When a crime is committed in Iceland people often (too often) say "it was probably a polish guy."
ubergeek64
As a Polish person, I had heard *about* "Pollack" jokes, but never heard one. I guess the thing was Polish = stupid.
catmanuel
It still is in the Metro Detroit area. Polack jokes are still plentiful here.
EnergyFiend
My god, how young are you?? They were as popular as blonde jokes in the 80's - didn't realize it had grown out if fashion.
Tomburr
Sometimes this place makes me feel old.
EnergyFiend
Same here, until I see some dumb shit that reminds me that it's awesome to not be that young and stupid anymore!
mobiusplane
I'm a quarter polish (though I don't look it) and I only found out a couple years ago when I turned 23. One of my middle names is Bogucki
nym23
that could be an east-asian soup-dish as well :/
mobiusplane
I'm half Asian, so that makes it all the more hilarious.
Cyri
From what I hear it's still a thing in England...
EveryusernameIwantedwastaken
Yep definitely still a thing over here for some (hopefully a minority though). It kinda extends to a general dislike of eastern Europeans.
GoddamnitClown
Not to the point where you hear those kinds of jokes. People just gripe about them "Taykin our jerbs". Whether they're from Poland or not.
cesairforgeroflightning
And in Germany. A country always hates its immigrants.
velvetpooop
Up until the last couple of years it was a big thing in Ireland. People hated them for immigrating here and getting work.
DiscomfortZone
Oh the irony
OhFuckOff
I remember it, people more or less hated them because they done better work for a cheaper price. (In construction anyway)
Choc113
Ironic as in England we had the self same jokes about Irishmen.
BIZaGoten
They're still doing that to Sweden, picking our strawberries.
identicalWorlds
It's not that big of a problem in Sweden though.
BIZaGoten
I guess it isn't, just something minor we like to complain about.
cathysaurus
"They took our jerbs!"
WhimsicalCalamari
DURKEN DURR
arrowhen
Oh, sure. As a kid in the 80s I remember seeing books of Pollack jokes at the bookstore.
vanfullofcandy
Saw a book of pollack jokes in my grandmas basement the other week and was very confused
ChrisPrattsTinyNipples
My dad always told us polack jokes. I had no idea what a "polack" was, but I always laughed
Summersky
Oh nooooooo xD
ImMuddy
As a Polish person, these were pretty funny. :)
Choc113
So do you have those lame jokes in Poland? If so what people are they about? What replaces "Polack" in Poland?
ImMuddy
I live in North Dakota
tiramigiu
so you're not a polish person, you're an american. Looks like the stereotype holds true though.
ImMuddy
I am Polish. I was born in Poland, but I live in North Dakota.