Jonjonnotaleprechaun
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jhood testing flair stuffs on throwaway account
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
me irl
ForTheRepublic212th
Wow this was posted Monday
jgxy
I thought the Kangaroo would be like, a Can't-garoo
davosonion
My 3 year old loves these corny ass jokes
Xtra93
Uhhhh misspelled Krookodile http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/thumb/e/e5/553Krookodile.png/250px-553Krookodile.png
Sarahsmomhasgotitgoingon
Also why weren't there any labracadradors in Harry Potter?
ggemmell
As a Crookadile, we're not Alligators.
javer80
What kind of sweaters does Michael Jordan wear? Nothing but knit!
WeRSpecialPeople
After watching "To this Day" by Shane Koyzcan, the Pork Chop one always reminds me of that.
uitSCHOT
http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/what-do-you-call-an-alligator-in-a-vest.jpg
HomegrownOkie
#1 For funny clean jokes
punbelievable
10/10! Plus username is relevant... Punderful!
nothebees
What do you call an owl keeper? A hootnanny.
alexmaddux99
HOODINI
StefanTheZog
I don't normally favorite. But these were so good my little cousin is gonna love em when I share them with her. Thank you.
Artoriass
What do you call someone who is trying to start shit? A futuristic powder that makes an alligator when added to water... an Insta-gator
UnhelpfulAnswers
This is just a huge "get out" post
SmitZTheMitZ
Sans stop posting puns to imgur
HoneyBunchesOfHallAndOats
* no
AnnaNimitee
It's like Laffy Taffy came to life!
LionHeart31337
I don't think they realize how much ammo they just gave dads for jokes
HooperAintchaWatchin
Mootenant Dan, you ain't got no legs....
Fairlyquirky
This was awesome. I read them to my daughter and we were cracking up. Thanks!
InappropriateTara
My entire family laughed through dinner thanks to these. So. AWESOME! !
mrsmodernhome
Yea, my 6 year old is going to love these
Fairlyquirky
My daughter is 20. She's told her sister "Mom told me Dad jokes last night "
HandBananananaTime
If there were 27 I think my wife would have left me
C00ki3m0nst3r
My husband threatened to go sleep on the couch if I didn't stop lol.
HandBananananaTime
So you got to say sweet puns AND the whole bed to yourself? What i wouldn't give for unadulterated blanket access...
TeflonMike
Repost...
Iwantagoddamnlitreofcola
Repost and no sauce :/
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
HazerWanKenobi
Yes!
TeflonMike
thats brilliant
blitherypoop
It's a repost.
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
And nobody cares. Or at least *far* fewer people than you'd expect.
bekreider
I read these to my friends while we were in queue for a match and they kicked me out of the call ):
butterboobs
#leagueoflegendsstrugglez
bekreider
It was actually for Smite but I feel like I'm gonna get down voted to the ground for not agreeing it was league :P
PsychopathicPigeon
Smite superiority! *upvotes*
imonewiththeforceandtheforceiswithme
Thunderwear is a brand that makes gun holsters in your underwear
MrNames
I chose to believe this is real.
SaucyDisses
No way
iliketorunnoidontyesidomaybe
That sounds like a hospital trip in the making
OtherErinFromTheOffice
I always knew the joke as "thunderpants". :)
exosquadwasmyfavoriteshowwheniwasachild
Came here to comment this.
Drift91
Suddenly "You'll shoot your eye out!" becomes "You'll shoot your dick off!".
Thornbrier
Source: www.thunderwear.com
PleaseHoldMyCandle
Freedom Panties.
ICantOdd
Those sweet, sweet 'Merican flags
someswedishgirl
What's wrong with people?
PleaseHoldMyCandle
They are concealed holsters, not underwear in the sense of holding up your junk, but under your clothes.
RedVagOfCourage
America.
someswedishgirl
Yeah.
DammitIshouldbeworking
AMERICA...F*&% YEAH!
PurelyRelative
+1 for how much fun it is to say labracadabrador
fiercy
I can't stop!
fancyanimator
or as we say in French : Un magichien !
CptJohnYossarian
Wunderhund!
BenGatena
You, I like you. Keep that shit up.
MrWiggleBottom
...Just rolls off the tongue.
bigdog1983
the knots
tomyironmane
Agreed.
KeanuReevesinPointBreak
It's labradorable
klausnominomi
Labracadorable
slagath0r
I like it!
CptJohnYossarian
Care to elabaradaborate?
KeanuReevesinPointBreak
"Labradabadoo!!" -Fred Flintstone. That's all you get.
Calltheoddpolicebecauseicanteven
Plutooooo. :'(
TheFreakyTiki
Pluto will always be a planet in my heart.
Mathdex
Poor pluto... He's so cold, that's why he's never invited to the planet parties...
heartbreaker87
Poor little baby
DeannaZone
I cannot favorite this due to that photo ... I am so sad ...
macimo30
Too bad #14 is already a pokemon....
HipHopSaint
In what world? I think you're thinking of Totodile ;)
Xortberg
http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Krookodile_(Pok%C3%A9mon)
HipHopSaint
Ohhh is that a newer one?
Xortberg
Yep. Came along in gen 5 I think? I haven't really kept up very well since gen 3
HipHopSaint
Would explain why I didn't know what that was aha
JackalopeRider
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana
BifuriousPanda
I first heard this on vlogbrothers. It still brings a goofy grin to my face.
18yearoldBlackDynamite
Dammit that's good
[deleted]
[deleted]
JackalopeRider
I will give that a try! But later it's late now. Stay tuned.
xaviouswolffe
Classic.
ThatOneSleeplessOP
I knew you would do that.
ArmsOfTheAngelFUCKTHATS
I read this... mind jumped to zilean
xWonko
not the original source of the joke, but he did say it
Hyperion555111
same, +1 for you
ActualEugenecistHitlerAdolf
The horse ran past the barn fell.
GoodnessGraciousGreatBallsOfFiree
Fire
AspiringGoodMotherfucker
Until you see a flying fruit.
urgotobekiddingme
Zilsta midsta
MarijuannaMakesYouGay
I knew you would do that!
Easytotell
Is this a drake quote?
idratheGTLbro
Genius
mysevenwords
Groucho?
Lugia3
Zilean from League of Legends.
CheesegettiChef
Yep. Groucho.
abraCATdabra
... I get it now! How sad is that, that it took me this long?
hugglesthemerciless
Explain please?
Argygle
Fruit flies as in the bug, not flying fruit.
abraCATdabra
Sorry I didn't see this message in time to reply! Glad someone did, though!
mardesrox
Same, lol
thegreatandpowerfulkawa
Time flies, a kind of Gallifreyan bug. They like to race against projectile weapons.
relsqui
The first "like" means "similar to," the second one means "enjoy."
Luxvero
(1/2) or the first one is assumed by the reader to be an adverb (and FLIES = verb), and the second LIKE=verb and FLIES=noum, which should
hugglesthemerciless
OHMYGOD THANK YOU
relsqui
Happy to be of service.
Luxvero
(2/2) then induce the reader to reread the first part as if FLIES=noum, and LIKE=verb... this shows how natural language can be ambiguous
TheWhyKingComenths
*noun
al640814
OH
relsqui
<3